The SPN Wheel Is Complete!! Had A Lot Of Fun With This :)

The SPN wheel is complete!! Had a lot of fun with this :)

kind of obsessed with the idea of dean and cas getting a house and sleeping in the same bed and building a normalcore life together, without ever officially getting together. cas comes back from the empty and dean hugs him, and after a few days he says they should get a house, so they do. they get a two bedroom and cas assumes it's so they each have their own room, but then dean picks one room as theirs, and says he thinks the other room will make a nice guest room for when sam and eileen/jack/claire come to visit. cas just goes with it. they always sleep in their pyjamas, and dean occasionally in his underwear when it's hot, so cas just figures they're friends who sleep in the same bed. dean has been so lonely his whole life, after all. dean sometimes puts on slow music and asks cas to dance, and cas is hesitant because he can't dance, but he figures dean needs casual touch and softness in his life, so he obliges. and then one day dean says "we should get married", and cas blue screens because he doesn't understand which need of dean's this is covering. his need for stability and family, perhaps, but he thought the house had been enough. so he just says "what?" and dean seems disappointed by that, and asks with a pout, "don't you want to?". cas is confused, but he answers honestly. "i do. i just don't understand why." dean seems confused too, but he presses on. "well, we've been together for almost a year now, and let's be honest we were basically together for twelve years before that, so i think it's time. plus i heard there are benefits, for like taxes and stuff. not that we pay that, but it could come in handy, i don't know." he searches cas' eyes, and cas' brain is going hold on a minute man. hold on a minute. dean asks again, "don't you want to?", and cas has to ask. "dean. when you say we've been together, what do you mean?" and dean is like, "i mean, like, dating? like a couple? right?" and when cas keeps looking at him with goldfish eyes he panics and goes, "oh god. haven't we? cas. we're together, right? i love you, you love me, all that? you haven't changed your mind on that, have you??" and cas about loses it like "what do you mean you love me??? when have you ever mentioned that?? dean, i thought we were just friends who lived together, i thought-" and now it's dean's turn to go "now hold on a minute man... you- what?? cas, we sleep in the same bed! we have breakfast together every morning! we've got a fucking garden!!" and cas just looks at dean stupidly and says, "but. we've never kissed? you sleep in your underwear! you've never said-" and he cuts himself off before he loses his damn mind because what??? so dean goes "oh. but you've been sleeping in pyjamas. and you've never tried to kiss me, or touch me. i tried it, with the dancing, but it was clear you were only doing it because i asked, so i didn't press it..." and cas does the goldfish bit a few more times before metaphorically shaking his head straight and saying "so, to clarify. we're a couple. and you think we should get married. and you want to kiss me?". dean laughs incredulously and say "yeah, pretty much. you okay with that?" and cas says yes. so dean kisses him. and wowza. cas would love to keep doing that forever. and well, apparently he can, because they're getting married.

It's 2 am and I'm just thinking about how Cas and Eileen became such complimentary partners for Dean and Sam even when the show (slash Chuck) didn't let them have a happy ending.

Like, Sam wanted independence from his family and hunting. Not because he hated hunting necessarily, but because it represented everything his dad seemed to value over him and his opinions. And throughout the show he does make his own choices, but more often than not they end up with him getting possessed or some other kind of loss of autonomy. And with everyone he dates there seems to be that fear of losing control - not that he's controlling per say, but that he can't really let his guard down. Jess, Amy, Amelia, might know About him, but he doesn't seem to show much real vulnerability or deeper trust in them.

And Eileen gets that - she was written to mirror Sam, but it's not like she's his clone. While Sam seems more run down by everything that's happened to him by the time he meets her, Eileen still has that fire that leads her to do good on her own terms. And because she understands both the hunting and independence aspects of Sam's life, her and Sam can see each other as equals, instead of falling into that civilian/hunter or protector/protectee approach that relationships in the show usually lean towards. It's a real breath of fresh air for me, and feels a lot like how I'd imagine an ideal relationship for Sam - someone that isn't afraid to challenge him, but also encourages him to speak up for himself and value his own feelings.

Then with Dean, there's a lot of similarities to Sam (obviously, with their shared upbringing lol) but he can also be his counterpart. Sam wants trust placed in him and independence, Dean wants commitment and for someone to not leave him. But like Sam's relationships, Dean definitely falls right into the Protector role and what he thinks he should be doing, not what he actually needs or wants (like with Cassie and Lisa). And for him, I feel like it's less about not trusting them (Dean actually confides in people fairly often!) but more about his understandings about relationships and his own self. Dean has been treated (intentionally and unintentionally) as a blunt instrument, someone unchangeable, someone to look to for comfort, etc. even before Mary died ("It's okay Mom, I'll never leave you" comes to mind).

Cas reflects this in the extreme - any of his own feelings were lobotimized out of him and it was seen as impossible for angels to feel at all without falling. For him, he could see Dean as a smaller-scale mirror to what he was feeling. And Dean could see Cas as a more abstract, less intimidating way to see his own life. Like Eileen and Sam, Dean and Cas understand each other as soon as they meet each other. Cas tells Dean he has doubts! Dean prays to Cas after a lifetime of not believing in angels! Their similarities let them connect but their differences let them grow - Dean is so stubborn and full of feeling that Cas finally has the final push to rebel. Cas is the most powerful thing Dean's ever met when he saves him from Hell, so Dean feels safe to rely on him and trust someone to answer him if he asks (or prays). And again, their similarities are at the ground of it all, so they stay as partners and equals.

For Chuck (and the writers) this kind of healthier partnership dynamic goes against the kind of romance they love, that focuses on avoidance and saviour complexes. If Dean and Sam feel secure in their senses of self outside of one another, and are encouraged to keep that up, what happens to the Cycles of Family Trauma Show?? Plus, there's the added elements of Cas being a man and Eileen being deaf (resulting in Despair and the Blurry Wife). Sam and Dean both needed Eileen and Cas at certain points in their stories, whether that was to rescue them, motivate them, give them something to lose, etc. But even though plot development was the main intention for these relationships, they signalled something outside of the routine Cain and Abel story. Instead of just representing that kind of unattainable happy future, Eileen and Cas developed genuine relationships with the brothers that encouraged them to be more genuine people, and eventually led them to defeat God.

CASTIEL CARED .... AND IT BROKE HIM APART

When your homie goes non-verbal at the function so you gotta whip out the 'i would understand you in any universe'

Ver. 1

Ver. 2

Hello, Dean.