"I Wanna Be-"

"I Wanna Be-"

Dazai Osamu x reader

Summary: Rainy days are for remembering the good old moments with your bestfriend, who you have a lethal crush on, a confession of tears masked withing the downpour.

Word count: 1.2k

tw.: angst, angst with comfort at the end, fluffy end

The orange-ish dim glow of streetlights illuminating the vacant streets of Yokohoma, as the heavy rain clouds space out into the vast night sky, giving room for the moon to bleed out and shine like the sun at night.

He, too, was admiring the moon in all its shimering glory. Having a moment of silence for himself, he felt at ease, his soul is at peace while his mind is drowning in the sea of sorrow. His heart aching for the first time in years, that feel like centuries.

"Why didn't I react? What went wrong, I precalculated everything correctly? What...what went wrong? Why am I so cruel...I didn't mean to be cruel...I didnt mean to hurt you..."

The down pour, heavy, yet there's this weighing feeling deep inside you, a feeling of heartbreak rippingnyour heart apart in an agonizingly slow pace, a feeling that angers yet saddens that fast beating heart of yours that's being torn apart from the inside out, as if a secret that can't be kept for too long is fighting war battle for freedom.

You know the truth, or so you believe. He literally gave it to you, why must you... why must this stupid heart still long for someone who doesn't want anything to do with it?

Strolling along the soothing bay, admiring the city lights from afar, with your drenched hands in your, equally drenched pocket. The rain is pouring down harder, yet that seems to be the last of your concerns. The heavy rain clouds surrounding you is enough for anyone in close proximity to know that you're not doing well... unfortunately no ones near to make such discovery.

"Why did he word it like that? Did he truly mean it? He's never been so heartless in ages, let alone with someone as close as me...what have I done..."

The image keeps coming back in a series of constant replay, an unescapable nightmare.

The way soft lips spoke words your mind didn't process, because its full attention was on deciphering the meaning behind his eyes... those sky blue eyes that hold so much pain, so much wonder, so much knowledge...yet, the only emotion it displayed was...the lack of emotion. Blank. His eyes showed nothing, yes they were soft, and a faint hint of pity could be detected, but it's even more confusing wether that is self pity or not...

He was beyond shocked, taken aback, overjoyed even, yet something was holding him back...he felt guilty, he felt confused, he felt vulnerable, he felt as if he was letting you down...he knows you deserve someone better, someone happier, someone who's not an ex-executive mafioso who's currently working as a detective, not someone who drinks regularly and can't commit to staying alive. Ofcourse you deserved better! Even a foolish dog like Chūya would know that, so why didn't you understand?

Yet there you were, fighting back tears when he just left. He had straight up left you to cry on the cols, brittle side walk, with rain and tears pouring down your face.

Shutting your eyes in an attempt to drown out all of those useless haunting memories. Standing on the edge stairs, focusing on keeping a good balance, so you wouldn't end up drenched in dirty river water.

"Why is the water so...so soothing...maybe if I sit down and relax for a bit, I'll be fine..." body weight shifting from one foot to another as if you were loosing conscious, but due to the skull shattering heavy down pour accompanied by spine shivering gales. Stepping a step lower into the water, your shoes were completely submerged, a cold shiver shot up your spine as you froze in place.

It felt good, for now it feels tranquil.

Deep breath in, Deep breath out...

...a familiar, contrast to the weather's temperature, warm scent of cigarette smoke, a little booze...dull mint...green tea... and home. The smell of home.

And before you knew it, you let him pick you up bridal style, carrying your cold body all the way back up onto the main road, even there he didn't let go, gripping you tightly to his chest, avoiding eye contact.

He somehow managed to carry and hold up an umbrella over the two of your, fresh rain-water drenched, heads.

Facing each other for the first time in what felt like, eternity. You two have faced off many times before, but this...this one feels different. Drastically different.

Emotions come into play here, strong emotions.

He never meant to make you cry, he never meant to hurt you, yet here you were hesitating wether to hold him close or keep an arms length distance between you two. Even though the tension in the air was as dense as winter snow, he held the umbrella out for you, covering your head, exposing his own.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Head held low, his voice strained, he was trying his best not to crack. His voice was shaky. Shivering, even though he was way better dressed than you for the weather.

Dazai Osamu, ex executive at the Port Mafia, currently working as a detective for the Armed Detective Agency, a man with mind that of hundreds, yet body of one. One of the strongest people in Yokohoma.Someone who drank his sorrow, his pain away...was here apologizing?

By this time, his hand was shivering, from the cold? Or the fear of rejection. The fear of loosing someone so close to him, his other half ( sorry Chūya), someone who, almost, knows every secret about him. He can't let you go...you know too much.

Embracing him as a form of apology was an unspoken rule between you two. Through out the years of hatred and comradery, whenever there was a disagreement you'd agree to disagree in a civil way.

He gripped you tighter, stronger, closer. Instead of his usual delicate and gentle manner, he was more...direct, blunt. His head resting on your shoulder, nuzzling closer into you nape of your neck, his breathing was unsteady, rapid. He is afraid of letting you go, he is afraid you'll leave, again, but for real this time...he...he wants you to stay. He wants you to be there with him. He wants you to be his, he finally processed the information, but by then you had already left him...he doesn't want that again.

The umbrella collecting rain on the ground, very well forgotten, while Dazai was being vulnerable, letting his guard down, showing that he fully trusts you.

"Please..." his voice croaked, trying his best to regain composure. " I'm sorry...don't ever leave me...I need you..."

Hugging you tighter, his voice was muffled, faint sobs could be heard from him. All you could do is reciprocate. Holding him up, kissing his forehead and whispering an endless string of consoling words filled with love and comfort, what he needs the most right now.

He needs you.

Brat tamer!chuuya who sends you a nasty glare when your hand rides up his thigh during an important meeting. You could feel his half-hard cock when you palmed him through his slacks, his hand wrapping around your wrist tightly, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" He'd whisper, voice slightly wavering as he could feel his precum leaking through the expensive fabric of his pants.

Brat tamer!chuuya who slams the car door shut after you get in, growling into your ear, "you're so fucked," as he hastily rips the suit-jacket and button up shirt off of you, a smirk growing on his pretty lips when he sees the pretty set of lingere you wore for him. "you were planning this, huh? planning to rile me up 'cause you're such a damn slut for my attention, sweetheart?" He groaned, leaving bite marks and hickies all over your neck and chest area, cupping your breast in his gloved hand.

Brat tamer!chuuya who slides his gloves off his hands with his teeth just because it gets you all hot and bothered, he knows the effect he has on you and uses it to his advantage. He ordered you to take off your the rest of your clothing but you figured why not be more of a pain in the ass for him? This was so fucking hot to you already, you couldn't help but annoy him further. You stuck your tongue out at him, cockily demanding that he took them off himself, since he's the one desperate to fuck you. And oh he's fucking livid, manhandling you against the car door, your ass sticking out on full display for him as he bunched your skirt up to your waist, ripping a hole through your stockings and pushing your lacy panties to the side. He scoffed at how wet you were already, "I barely even touched you and your already leaking? Hah− un fucking believable."

Brat tamer!chuuya would shove his fingers in and out of your hole so vigorously, curling his digits against your mushy walls, teething at your ear lobe as his other hand wraps around your throat, cutting off your airways for a brief moment before repeating the action. He pulls out his fingers just as you were about to reach your peak, sniffling and whimpering at him.

Brat tamer!chuuya who would give your ass a nice smack before pushing his thick cock into you, splitting you open. All you could do was moan as your cheek was smushed against the window, clenching on his cock for dear life as he fucks into you ruthlessly. You completely forgot that the driver was still in the car, the tip of your boyfriend's cock repeatedly kissing your cervix made you go dumb.

Brat tamer!chuuya who would only pull your panties back in place, his cum still leaking out in thick globs out of your hot cunt, "god, just look at you− such a mess for my cock, hm? just wait 'til we get home, brat."

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡

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Bouncing on one of Dan Heng's cocks while the other just rests up against your stomach, both of you trying to hold in your moans and whines, so you don't wake up the rest of the express crew.

Holding onto his glowing horns, that remedy to glow brighter at night, with a deadly grip as his tries to muffle your, and his, lewd moans and whimpers. He has a soft hand on your waist, while the other rests against your shoulder, near your neck.

His pitchforked tongue making out with your mouth, while the hand that was resting on your shoulder slowly slid down to play with your nipples. You moaned into the kiss, making him buck his hips into yours. Your pace quickened. He knew you were nearing your high.

"Dan Heng~, Dan Heng!~ please, please let, m me cum~"

He gave you a weak nod and a chaste kiss on the lips before his pace quickened, rubbing his other cock while he bucked his hips against you. Nibbling on your collar bone, neck, shoulder, even biting down onto it when he felt really good. He was nearing his high too. Soon, he gripped both sides of your hips with his hands and fucked you out in an insane inhumane speed. (His stamina is something).

Moaning his name continuously, trying your best to whimper quietly, but it doesn't work (I'm sure poor March can hear it in her room), he knows your close, and when you start clawing at his back? Crying his name, yeah that gets him over the edge, so what does he do?

"Darling, darling, let's cum together, okay?"

His voice is shaky, catching his breath as he holds you down onto his dick causing the both of you to moan. His other cock released aswell, onto your tummy, painting you in his cum, while the other one filled you up to the brim.

After this he layed you down onto his soft dinky little mattress, reaching over to the towel, that was prepared by him along side with a bottle of water, and started taking care of the mess he caused, while admiring the amount of marks he left.

You're his...and he knows that very well, but he just can't help himself sometimes, he'll kiss the really visible ones as a form of apology.

Rose feilds in snow

Gepard Landau x reader

Summary: checking on your boyfriend on his day off for a while and gifting him a rose, you go off to run errands, until the two of you "coincidentally " met resulting in another wholesome moment for your relationship.

Word count: 0.6k

tw.: straight up tooth rotting wholesome sickeningly sweet fluff

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bone chilling temperature of Belobog is in high contrast with how hot Gepard is feeling at the moment.

You said you were coming to meet him on his day off...well today's the day and you did drop by for a bit, before running off to run some errands.

Reason to why he's so red in the face and bashful? You came by with a single rose, warm tea, and a fleeting kiss on the lips.

He knew you'd be back by night, you told him before leaving, it's rare for him to have a day off, but now he wants to return the favor tenfold. He wanted to show you how much he loves you, he wanted to show you that you feel loved... so what was he going to do? Go to Eversummer Florist!

You were busy running around Belobog, until Serval messaged you saying she needs you right now and that it's an emergency!

Rushing over, bursting through the doors of Neverwinter Workshop to check up on Serval and her urgent matter. A machine had gone broken and she needed two set of hands and another capable intellectual to assist in the matter of repairing that machinery.

Meanwhile...Gepard was at Eversummer Florist trying to figure out which flower you'd like, after much pondering he thought of asking his elder sister, Serval who at this certain point in time is with the love of his fateful life.

"Uhmm~ how about you go and buy me some lavenders or lilacs?"

"Serval, what does that have anything to do with fixing this ancient looking machine artifact thingy?"

"Ahhhh, don't worry~ I'll handle the rest, you go and take a rest by smelling some flowers and buy me a few of the purple colored flowers, I think they'll make the workshop look a little more pleasant."

Serval happily ushered you out of the workshop, before you could even get a word out you were already standing out in the somewhat cold Administrative District's weather.

Maybe Serval's right, you do need a break from all the errands and running around you've done for almost the entire day.

Gepared blankly staring at his sister's late and blatant answer of "idk ask your love" when he's clearly trying to plan a surprise. Why doesn't she get it? Just as he thought that the doors to the little store opened, to the most beautiful person this man's ever seen. He almost dropped his phone and cracked it if it wasn't for his quick trained reflexes.

"Hi, uh, love! What brings you here?" He tried his best at hiding his smile, but his face blushed the instant he saw your equally red face and just a little bit messy hair.

"Oh? Gepard? Darling, I thought you were resting at home? Did Serval also send you to check out suitable flowers for the workshop?" You joked happily walking in feeling a feeling of pure childish joy coincidentally seeing your lover.

"Uh, actually I..uhm...I came to buy you flowers,butIdidn'tknowwhichomeyou'dreallylike, so I asked Serval for advice, but I guess she sent you in person, haha." Stepping closer to you, his face deepening in the shade of bashfulness while he fiddled with your fingers, looking away from you. He was nervous, and extremely cute.

You felt your face heating up and your hand grasping his pulling him into an embrace, because words were not willing to come out of your mouth.

"I'll love any flower you give, dear."

"...I know... I just wanted it to be the best, because you deserve only the best, love."

DAY 4 — KNIFE KINK

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

𖧡 — including — dottore & pantalone (together)

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, knife kink + threesome, sub! reader who likes to be used, they share you, teasing, mean harbingers but they‘re pseudo nice to you ig, possessive of you as well, very mess & so much cum, all parties are consenting

you're dripping because of that scalding look on dottore's eyes, and the air was circulating through your unmoving figure on the bed when you watch him observe you, bitterly cold and glacial alike, touching around your bare skin as pantalone places his cock flat on your perfect cunt, leaving a sticky swell on your folds as you budged your pussy against his length.

"you really do like this, it seems." pantalone says sternly, nigh on an insulting timbre, and there was a monitoring peer on his eyes, the sort you'd claim to be demeaning— assuming that in one way, he couldn't fathom that someone would be willingly placed into this position, sandwiched in between two dangerous harbingers, the second and the ninth to be particular about it, claiming your body to their hearts content.

and it's when your body suddenly flinches as it caught onto the sound of metal strumming over your ear shells, your head urging you to turn right and figure out what the mysterious sound was all about. come to think of it, this certainly wasn't the first time you were placed on a bed, bare and with no clothing concealing your frame while being recklessly fucked and passed around by both men before one of them would come up with something new, something they'd love to try out on you.

conversely, when the doctor was taking something out of his pocket to show you, there was an inexplicable increase on pantalone, his dick becoming heavier and swelling whilst rolling over your clit, the underside of his length tingling at the sensation of your wet, sopping pussy touching him up all well and nicely that he couldn't resist himself to hump against you, harder this time, your whimpers loud and edging him on.

"are you willing to try this?" it's at the moment when you can finally recognize the indiscernible object in dottore's hand, a razor-sharp knife— with an engraving of the fatui insignia on either side of the blade, it appears to be quite expansive and crafty, and you swallow down the lump in your throat when he experimentally places it on your shoulder— not willing to move it around, he's testing the waters with you, seeing how far he could go and if you're even interested in the first place, prepared to dispose of it if you weren't.

you bite your bottom lip before speaking out through a tensed jaw, unable to believe that you're about to agree to this, "yes.." you mutter and can't do anything but let out a weak mewl, "i’ll do anything." never getting tired of how they're handling you, whispering a small, airy please when they hold you down under them.

"just be good then." dottore lightly presses the keen blade against the softness of your welcoming skin— it's so cold it had you flinch within seconds and your toes curl into the silken sheets when he advances to tease one of your nipples with the tip.

just as effortless as the doctor had you under his control, you simultaneously let go of a muffled cry when pantalone suddenly has entered you without warning, his cock thick and present, his muscular abdomen tensing as he towers on top, fucking his cock into you and stretching your hole wider, maybe that's the reason they both seem to work fluidly with each other, in numerous occasions.

you're being stimulated from both sides now, the cutting object moving on your chest and responsive breasts, grazing on top of your erected nipples while you're getting thrusted into over and over again as they use you, fondle with your body as if it's their property— which, it kind of was, nudging on your sweet spots only to make themselves cum in the process.

one might assume seeing fear in someone's eyes was the very one key factor to make dottore cum, but your sheer, pure willingness to try out whatever he presented in front of you, obviously made it impossible for him to see you in any kind of terror.

up to the present time, he'd lie if he would claim he didn't like what he watches happening in front of him though, taking pleasure on how you're becoming even prettier the moment you turn more desperate for them, "ohh— you're so wet." the ninth claims, letting the tip of his cock reach your insides, a broken growl covering the clearness of his words, baring his teeth and showing no mercy on your pussy.

his eyes roll back and he pants out when he feels how you're constricting around him particularly hard, noticing the vibration of each flutter, your walls sticking on his length and creaming all over his cock.

dottore cocks a brow, sliding the knife down to your clit, the still coldish blade coaxing a shiver right out of your spine, "indeed, it's precious, isn't it?" he lays the metal flat on top of your clit before sliding one hand to his stiff cock, slowly humping into his palm to complete and find bliss on the perfect view of your body. you're ethereal to them, there's no doubt, most desirable pet to them as well, no one was this impeccable and obedient, always there to rile both of them up— and dottore growls into his chest, fisting his stiff cock so desperately fast and hard that his own vision was turning littered and messy with white dots covered on top.

you feel your cheeks swell aflame, flustered and embarrassed at his sudden, unusual praise, which, granted, hearing any kind of praise from those two was a rare occurrence, so you weren't to blame for such reaction. but you were aware that neither of them would lie to you, not in predicaments such as those, when they're vulnerable themselves, on the brink of cumming and marking you up with their seed, until there's a white, milky film covering your naked body.

it's becoming too much now, and you can hear and listen to the wet, squelching sounds of your used pussy being fucked and split apart, reaching your hand over to curl around dottore's wrist that was holding the knife, crying out at the way you’re smearing your slick all over yourself and pantalone's cock and thighs.

"i-i'm close!" you squeal, arching your back, your body twitching and shaking as dottore swiftly replaces the knife with his rough digits, squeezing and rubbing on your puffy clit, your hips never hesitating, mindlessly pushing up to press against Pantalone's cock as if that'll make it somewhat faster for you— but it's coming to an end now, and your body bows in as you sob uncontrollably, hearing the sound of your rapid heart beating in your ears like a fire alarm going off.

a deep moan adds to the fast breathing of pantalone, and it's almost too low and rumbled to hear it, as if he was attempting to cover it up, but regardless it had long since bulged in his chest as he breathes out the probably most beautiful moan you've ever heard in your life, such rare noise making you pulse between your aching thighs as he realizes the power he had on you, and how you were throbbing on his length, the corners of his lips twisting into a devil like grin.

to take them into complete awe, it's when they spot that hazy smile on your face like there was nothing else on this world you'd enjoy more than being fucked by them, two big and powerful harbingers with the thought of their authority alone having you close your legs together to still the swell in your core.

it's all it took him, the squeezes of your cunt, your fucked out expression as cum messily soars from his cock the moment he pulls out of you, the warm liquid firing over your lower belly an obscene, gross amount that it shoots all up to your breasts as, at the same time— dottore fists himself faster, pulling his cockhead over one tit and whisking it over your nipples before blowing his load on top of you— your own body spasming at the weight of cum on you and the notice of a warmness and heaviness occupying both your body and mind, your mouth aching from all the screaming, your tits hurting from the sharp metal teasing the flesh, and your cunt still twitching from being fucked just the way you liked it.

just the way you needed it, before closing your eyes in fatigue— with a soothing silence hugging your trembling, exhausted skin, apart from hefty, broken blows and puffs, the smell of filth, sweat and sex penetrating your senses.

a hand silently jolts up at your cheek, your body wrung out but leaning into the warm touch before you hear the doctor speak once more, "good, very good." and you smile when he whispers it, humming against his palm cupping your head.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

Do you have any tips/advice for new indie writers?

Don't fall into the trap of being a social author.

Do you want to be a social media star or do you want to write books? Because every hour you spend making reels and tiktok videos? Should probably be spent writing.

"But I have to promote myself!" you say. "Social media is a free tool, why shouldn't I use it?!"

You absolutely should! But consider: Is your end goal likes on a post and follows on your TT account? Or conversion to book sales and longevity as an author? Because when you make yourself the product, the goal posts have a funny way of moving. External validation is like a drug, and when you've made yourself the star, getting that next hit of validation is going to supersede working on your craft and developing an authorial voice.

Honestly, it's not much different than being a writer in a fandom space, or posting content on a site like this.

Likes are great, reblogs are for discovery. If you are a consumer of Creator content, reblog and share the things you love.

But if you are the creator? Get your validation from somewhere else. Because the second you need it from strangers, you've already given up the game.