Can I Ask For A Tamar X Reader Where She Is The Healer In Sturmhond's Crew, She And Tamar Pretend To

can I ask for a Tamar x reader where she is the healer in Sturmhond's crew, she and Tamar pretend to be "just friends" but for once the reader gets injured during a fight and Tamar is terrified of losing her and her first thing he does when the reader wakes up is kiss her

I better live so I can make fun of her for this

Tamar x f!Grisha Reader

Wordcount: ~1.5k

Warnings: descriptions of injury, discussions of death

A/N: Thank you for the request! I loved writing this

Summary: Y/n's always been certain she's someone who lives with no regrets, but she finds herself begging the Saints for a second chance, begging whoever’s up there to give her another shot. 

I’m fine with the situation - or I think I am. It’s easier this way, less complicated, and we can avoid unnecessary comments and conflicts. At the same time, it’s difficult to ‘act normal’ about everything when half of the time all I want to do is hold her hand, or give her a hug that lasts a few seconds too long. I’m not sure if she feels the same, I hope she does. I know it’s not a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, more of a ‘secret relationship.’ It feels cheesy, like something out of a romance novel. 

I’m working with one of the deckhands, checking in on an old injury. He’s distracted by something and I sneak a glance over to Tamar, she’s sparring with someone. I hold back a chuckle as he’s flipped right on his ass. Nobody lasts long against her. I turn back to the sailor. “You’re all set.” 

He thanks me and hops up off the crate, heading over to discuss something with one of his friends. I take over his seat and tilt my head back, closing my eyes so the sun can soak into my skin. ‘Maybe it’ll bring out my freckles some more.’ I think to myself. 

The wood next to me creaks, and I peek one eye open to check. Tamar’s sitting next to me. 

“You made easy work of him.” I tell her, mentioning the sailor she sparred with earlier. 

“Always happy to knock someone's egos down a few pegs.” She grins

I chuckle and turn to her. “Just have mercy on me.” 

She rolls her eyes. “You can hold your own.” 

“Not against you.” I mumble. That’s a sore point for me - after a year on board I haven’t been able to win against her. We tied once and I hold onto that like a grand victory. 

“You’ll get there one day” she nudges me with her shoulder. 

“I hope you’re ready for it.” 

She hums, turning her head up to meet the sun, I copy her and we sit in peaceful silence.. 

–

The pain shocks me, jolts me. I scream as I fall, a bullet hitting my chest - slightly to the left of my heart. I feel myself weakening, feel the blood dripping from me. I wiggle so my back is leaning against a crate, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself. 

“The bleeding.” I mutter to myself, “stop the bleeding. Keep the heart going.” I’m doing my best to use my powers on myself but it’s not quick enough. The fight is over, I hear the howls and cheers going up, the gunfire and clash of swords are gone. 

“TAMAR” I scream, seeing her just ahead of me, her back turned. Quick as lightning she’s sprinting to my side. She falls to her knees in front of me. I watch her eyes assess the situation. 

“Bullet.” I tell her, and point to the exact spot it hit. I take more deep breaths, trying to keep my calm, to keep myself centered - it’s not working but I feel her powers working, I’m grateful for the lessons I gave her - she picked up on healing quickly. I let a small smile drift across my face, I’m proud of her. 

“TOLYA.” I hear her scream - it sounds distant. I keep blinking my eyes, and keep fighting to stay awake. 

“Stay awake, love.” She whispers, her hands over my heart, working to try and heal it. I hear Tolya dropping to the other side, starting to work in tandem with his sister. It’s strange being healed - instead of doing the healing. 

“Hey.” I whisper, her eyes dart up towards me. “I love you.” I say, black spots start appearing around my eyes, I close them - squinting as hard as I can, I feel the tears start to leak from the corners of my eyes. If I’m dying - I'll do it with one less regret on my chest. I’m ready to accept it, to let myself be welcomed home, but before I can I hear her scream. I know I'm not awake but it pushes something forward in me, like a small tug to keep going - to try and fight. My soul is hovering - waiting, hoping for a body to go home to. 

–

There’s days where I think I know how important something is to me, how much it means, how much I'm willing to risk, and then something happens to change my entire perspective on it. 

I’ve never felt more helpless in my life. I’m out of my body - watching her cry over me. I can’t feel it, but I can see how pale and clammy my skin is. Whatever version of me I'm in right now, I still feel the ache -. I can’t feel the pain I know my physical body is in, but I can feel the heartbreak, see the devastation my injury is bringing. I know it's not my fault at all, but I’m a healer - I hate not being able to fix it, not being able to mend my broken self. Having to put my faith in others. I have faith in Tamar. I’ve always been certain I'm someone who lives with no regrets, but I'm finding myself begging the Saints for a second chance, begging whoever’s up there to give me another shot. 

The week passes by in glimpses, small dashes out of my body, watching Tolya and Tamar work constantly to keep my heart beating, to keep my blood flowing. I can see their concern and fear, but I also see their determination. If there’s any chance at me surviving - I know these two will make it happen. This version of me feels empty - I don’t have my powers. I can’t sense my own heart rate, I can’t detect blood pressure, or respiration rates, I never realized how big of a part of me my powers are. 

–

She’s singing, I realize. Sitting next to my bed and singing. Some kind of shu ballad I know she barely remembers. My out of body self starts laughing. ‘I better live so I can make fun of her for this.’ She really should leave the poetry to Tolya. But I don’t mind her singing to me, maybe I’ll convince her to do it more often. She has a nice voice - for a mercenary. 

She pauses for a moment, squeezing my hand. “I can’t lose you y/n.” I see tears swell in her eyes and have to look away. I’ve never seen her cry, Tamar’s never cried in front of me. 

–

My eyes blink open, I'm back in my body. Everything feels too bright, too overwhelming, I shut my eyes again, planting my hands firmly down on my sides, trying to push myself up into a sitting position. I groan, the motion making my ribs ache. Someone is at my side in an instant, their arm gently laying me back down. I turn my head, blinking my eyes open again, slowly adjusting to the bright lights. Bronze skin, golden tilted eyes, short dark cropped hair, a beautiful grin on her face - it’s Tamar, the first one I see. Millions of people could be in the room, but at this time, I wouldn’t see anyone else. I reach one of my arms for her, ignoring the pain in my side. She gets the message and leans down. Her hands cup my cheeks gently and she places a soft kiss on my lips. I tug at the back of her neck, trying to bring her in closer, deeper, meld her body in with mine. She just chuckles and pulls back to lean her forehead against mine. 

“You’re still hurt.” Her voice is low, but I can hear the love in it. The gentleness she saves just for me. 

“I’m the healer.” I grumble. “I’m fine.” 

“Excuse me, I’m the healer now. You’re my patient.” My eyes are closed but I can still feel her smile. 

She shifts away from me, and I start to protest but she pulls a chair up next to my cot, holding onto one of my hands. 

“I could see it all.” I tell her. “From above.”

Her eyes widen but she hesitates, like she doesn’t know what to say or how to respond. 

“I don’t want to hide anymore.” I tell her, willing my voice to stay strong. “I want everything with you, I don’t want any regrets.” 

She holds my hand up to her lips, gently turning my wrist to kiss my palm. “You’ll have everything. No more hiding, never again.” 

I break out into a grin that she matches, leaning back down to place another soft kiss on my lips. 

I hear a whistle in the background. Tamar leans up, Sturmhond is leaning against he doorframe. “I can’t say that was completely unexpected. How romantic.” 

“Get out.” Tamar snarls. He moves without hesitation, quietly shutting the door behind him. She turns to me, “where were we?” 

I laugh hard enough that I wince, my ribs aching from the movement.

Can I ask you a question, ignore if not but have you read the grisha verse books, I’d like to write Tamar fics but I don’t know if I should read all the books first.

Absolutely you can ask! I've read all the books, they're great. You can write her without reading them, but the books go into more depth about her character, especially the last two. There are some big differences between her in the show and in the book but I like both!

shadow and bone season 2, episode 1

“Her weapons of choice were two double-bit axes that she wielded in tandem, the blades flashing like light off water, but she was nearly as dangerous with a saber, a pistol, or her bare hands.”

-Siege and Storm Ch.7

“Tamar says fears are like weeds. They grow wild if left unattended.” Well and good for Tamar - Tolya’s twin was essentially fearless.”

- Tolya and Nikolai, King of Scars Ch. 4

Can I request Tamar x reader where it’s super angsty and reader is seriously hurt, maybe she gets thrown overboard and drowns but Tamar or Tolya is able to revive her, just super sad.

Thank you for requestion! I did my best, I hope this is close to what you had in mind :)

almost too late

Warnings: graphic descriptions of injuries, character death

Word count: 2.8k

“Having a woman on crew is bad luck” He said to her, as she was leaning on the rails, looking out into the horizon. It’s mid-day, the sun is bright above head, and there’s been shark sightings in the area. She’s always loved sharks - they’re magnificent and dangerous creatures, and they fascinate her. All it takes is one person to tell her they saw one, and she’ll spend her free time that day trying to spot it. 

“What are you going to do about it? Throw me over?” The condescending tone in her voice made his nostrils flare.  

“Maybe I will.” 

“You won’t do it.” she said, egging him on. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe she should stop, but he’d gotten on her nerves for too long. Too long, even though he’d only been a member of the crew for a few weeks. As one of two women on board, he picked a fight with her almost immediately, he saw Tamar spar once, and avoided her like the plague. Y/n didn’t make a fuss about it, being a woman on board she’s learned to hold her own - and most of the crew treats her with respect. She wishes he’d be more bold about it, yell something in front of people, but instead he keeps whispering in her ear - nasty, hateful things. Y/n turns her head to snap something nasty at him, but before she can she feels a shove on her shoulders, and screams. She’s flipping through the air, overboard. He actually did it. Actually pushed her over, and there’s shark sightings in the air. For Saint’s sake, this has got to be some sort of nightmare. Y/n figured out very quickly that it was not a nightmare but in fact would be the longest ten minutes of her life. 

-Tamar POV- 

She heard y/n’s scream and immediately ran to the last place she saw her, up by the rails. Dmitri is leaning against them, looking over with his eyes wide open. 

“What happened?” She yells, snapping him out of it. All he does is point towards the water. Y/n is flailing in, panicking, waving her hands above her head. The ship is going fast, and leaving her behind. The waves are gentle but there’s been shark sightings. 

“Shit.” She curses, before turning and bellowing orders. There’s more to the story with the deckhand, but right now she doesn’t have time for that. The ship slows, coordinates are called to turn back, and a small boat is deployed, Tamar and Tolya are on it, along with a tidemaker, two squallers, and some more crew. They must’ve gone at least a mile from her last spotted location. Their tidemaker, Hendrik, is calming the waves in front of them, while the squallers push at full speed. It’s only been eight minutes, she should’ve lasted that long. Tolya puts a calming hand on her shoulder, 

“We’ll find her.” He says in a low tone. Then, they hear the screams. They spot her 200 feet ahead, thrashing around, one hand punching some kind of beast next to her. 

“It’s a shark.” Hendrik yells. 

One of the other crew on board grabs a rifle, trying to aim for it. 

“No.” I yell, “it’s too close.” 

Tolya’s hands come up to feel for the animals heartbeat, I can tell it’s difficult for him without a clear line of sight, and I join. We’re able to slow the animal's heartbeat, enough that it’s having difficulty moving, but with the water we can’t get enough of a grip to kill it. I spot y/n’s other arm reaching back - a piece of metal glinting in the sunlight. Her arm launches down, and she stabs the animal right between the eyes. I know how much that must’ve cost her. Her favorite animal, dead by her hand. Instead of hurt for her, I feel pride. She killed it, despite the pain, she fought through and killed it. 

-Y/n POV- 

I knew I only had to hold on for about 10 minutes, I knew someone would come, that they wouldn’t abandon me to this fate. But, I couldn’t stop the dread from sneaking into my heart. What if they didn’t? I focus on my breathing, steadying my heart, and floating on my back. It’s no use trying to swim, the waves might be gentle now but I have no sense of direction. Seven minutes pass and I feel the water shifting around me. A force knocks me back, and all I feel is pain - pain on my forearm, a strong bite of something. 

A shark. A fucking shark. This has to be a joke, a nightmare, but I’ve never felt this kind of pain in my nightmares before. Fight, flight, or freeze? Thankfully my instincts choose to fight. I threw all of my effort into punching it’s nose, screaming involuntarily at the top of my lungs. I feel the animal slow, out of the corner of my eye I see the boat, Tamar and Tolya with their hands up. They’re slowing the animal down but they can’t kill it. I feel cool metal against my waist - a knife, I’d tucked one in there earlier. Why didn’t I think of this before? I reach my arm back and stab right in between the eyes, the sharks grip loosens and i’m able to yank my mangled arm out. The shark sinks, lost to the giant depths of the ocean, I watch it and my knife go. I turn my head, the boat is getting closer. Tamar is saying something, shouting something, but the words blur. 

My mind is screaming not to, but I turn to look at my arm. The sight of it - mangled, barely hanging on below the elbow, twisted with bone and blood showing. The water near me is tainted with blood - my blood. I try and fight for my consciousness, but my eyes roll to the back of my head, and I faint - the ocean taking me under. 

-Tamar POV- 

I’m screaming to her, at the top of my lungs, screaming out instructions. 

“Keep your eyes on me.” I yell, I need her focused, and calm, if she panics it’ll make the situation worse. I’m able to push the anguished part of me away, lock it deep in my heart for now, it won’t help anything in this situation. I watch her head turn in slow motions, watch her look at her arm. I notice every detail - her face paling, the freckles brought on by the sun, the small curve of her nose, her hair splayed around her, blood pooling around her body, and with horror I see her eyes tilt back, and her body sink. 

Without a second thought, I dive in. There’s a splash, Tolya is behind me. She hasn’t sunk far but I fight to keep my eyes open against the sting of the salt water. I grab her good arm, and start tugging back up, my legs fighting against to get us to the surface. With a gasp I break free, Tolya is right there and he takes over, quickly tugging her back to the boat. Hendrik helps tug her on and I see his face pale as his eyes notice her arm. 

“Turn around.” I snap, “Get us back.” The last thing we need is another person passing out. They listen without question and quickly we’re sailing back towards the ship. I turn my eyes back to her and start drawing the water out of her lungs. I see Tolya trying to stem the blood flow, trying to stop it as best as he can. Time ceases to exist as I work on bringing her heart rate back up, there’s no pulse. I push everything I can in, artificially keeping her heart alive, hoping for a breath, a natural rhythm, anything. 

“Please, please.” I whisper. There’s so much I haven’t said - so many chances I haven’t taken. ‘Stop’ I tell myself. I can’t think of that. Not now. 

Tolya is cursing next to me - that catches my attention, my brother rarely curses. 

Her heart is beating again, I breathe out a sigh of relief. “There’s a heart beat.” I tell him, and hold my hand over her mouth, she’s breathing. The breaths are shallow but they’re there. A little bit - not all, of the tension in my shoulders relaxes, until I turn my gaze over to her arm. 

It’s mangled beyond repair. With the bones that splintered, the flesh missing, the bleeding, theres no saving it. Tolya already knew that, and he’s stopped the veins and arteries near the elbow. His hands are bloody and I gulp slightly, tears pricking my eyes. 

“I can’t save the arm.” He whispers. 

I feel us moving up, the squaller are bringing us back on the ship. I know it would be easier for Tolya to carry her, but I gently scoop her into my arms, bringing her back on deck and down below. Sturmhond is there with one of the crew explaining what happened. I see the deckhand from earlier slouching in the corner and my eyes narrow, I'll deal with him later. We make it below and there’s a cot set out in one of the larger rooms. Thankfully she’s still unconscious, and her heart is still beating. 

“Can you save the arm?” Sturmhond asks, he trailed us below decks. 

“No.” Tolya says, his face set in grim determination. I lay her on the cot and drag a short table up to prop her arm. My hand reaches for an axe, better to get it over with. 

“Don’t look.” I mutter to the others and they listen. I take a deep breath and a few tears start streaming down my face. With one slice her arm is off, the thunk on the floor makes my tears stream slightly faster, and my hands are shaking as I rest my axe on the floor. I crouch next to her to start healing, start stitching the remaining skin back together, but I feel a hand on my shoulder, Sturmhond is standing behind me. 

“Tolya’s taking care of the arm.” He says, I hear the door shut, but my gaze doesn’t waver from the task at hand. Once her arm is sealed, I sit back on my heels with a sigh, checking her heartbeat again. 

“It was close.” I say. 

“I know how much she means to you” his voice is low, but not a whisper. My head snaps back to meet his eyes. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My heartbeat raises, how could anyone know? I haven’t told anyone. 

He rocks back on his heels, his face contemplative. “You’re discreet, but don’t forget I was raised in a royal court. I notice these type of things. She feels the same way. Now that she’s almost died, maybe it’ll be enough motivation to tell her.” He winks and leaves. Always the dramatics. But he is right, I sigh and drag a chair over next to the cot. I don’t know if she can hear me, but i’ll say it anyways. It’s easier when she’s unconscious, I grab her hand. 

“I like you.” My words are hesitant, I don’t know where to start. “We’ll get you through this, and after. After, if you’ll let me, next port visit I'll take you on a date. A proper one. Celebrate your survival.” She says with a dark chuckle. Her breath catches when she feels her hand squeeze hers slightly. Her eyes don’t open, but she knows. She heard. 

“So you can hear me. Can you squeeze my hand again?” 

Another small squeeze, weaker this time. 

“Squeeze if you can open your eyes.” 

There’s no response, nothing. I feel her heartbeat start to weaken again. She breathes in heavily - a gasp. I know that sound, it’s the death rattle. 

“No, no, no.” I say, my hands moving quickly to keep her heartbeat steady. “Not now, not after I told you all of that.” 

When Tolya comes back, ten minutes later, I'm still working to keep her heart beat steady. “Almost lost her.” I say, like i’m still not working to keep her alive. Maybe speaking it into existence will help. 

He takes over. After the better part of an hour, her heart starts to beat again on its own, and I can breathe easily again. 

“That wasn’t very nice.” I tell her, taking her hand in mine again, her arm draped across her stomach. Tolya gives me an incredulous look, “She can hear me.” I say to him in Shu.” 

I hear a groan and she shifts again, her eyes blink open, adjusting to the light. I can’t help the big grin that spreads across my face. 

-Y/n POV- 

I heard everything, well after what Sturmhond said, I'm not sure about before that. Even laying in bed I feel strange, a bit off-balance, but I can’t tell what it’s from. My eyes blink open and the first thing I see is Tamar’s hand holding mine, the next is the big grin on her face. 

The first thing I feel is a strange pain coming from my left arm, I lift my arm up. My eyes widen. Half of it, gone, missing. I switch my gaze to Tamar’s and I see the pity and sadness in her eyes. My eyes well with tears and I can’t help the sobbing that starts wretching through me. I’m sore but manage to prop myself up, it’s gone. Tamar’s hand leaves mine, and I feel around the edges of my stump. It’s sore, but I press anyways, feeling each edge of the newly healed wound. I feel weight shift beside me, and an arm come around my shoulder. I don’t need to look to know it’s her. Automatically, my head leans into her shoulder. She doesn’t say anything when her shirt soaks through with tears. Her thumb brushes the tears from my face, I need a distraction - anything. 

“So a proper date?” I mumble through the tears, my words coming out in an embarrassing croak. Tamar’s face flushes, and my eyes gaze across the room. Tolya is in here, I grin. “So he didn’t know about your deathbed confession?”

“Don’t say deathbed.” She mutters through clenched teeth.

Tolya, thankfully, ignores my comment. “What happened?” He asks instead. 

“Dmitri pushed me over.” I say without hesitation. Their bodies tense, eyes taking on a glint of something dangerous. 

“Tell me you’re joking.” Tolya says. 

“I egged him on.” I try to backtrack. 

“That doesn’t matter.” Tamar replies. “How long has he been bothering you?” She’s perceptive, i’ll give her that. I sigh, there’s no point in lying to them - they’d be able to tell. 

“Pretty much since he got here.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Tolya’s face looks murderous, but not at me. 

“It wasn’t that big of a deal.” I mumble. 

“Anyone being harassed onboard is a big deal.” Tolya turns, heading to the door. “I’ll deal with it.” He says over his shoulder, the door swinging shut behind him. 

“He’s lucky it isn’t me.” Tamar says and I chuckle. She’s right about that. 

“Did you mean it?” I ask

“Mean what?” 

“When you said you like me?” 

She doesn’t reply, instead one hand coming up to cup my cheek. 

“Yes, y/n. I meant.” She leans in slowly, hesitantly, and looks to me as our lips are close together. I nod, and she closes the gap. The kiss is soft, barely a graze against my lips, before she pulls back again. 

“You should be resting.” She says. “Your heartbeat is fast.” 

“Don’t spy on my heart.” I reach with my good arm to cup the back of her head, crashing our lips together. I feel her smile when I kiss her. 

– 

Y/n survived another few months, but the loss of her arm hit her hard. Once they hit the next port, they searched out a Grisha healer to take a look at the wound. The healer told them she’s lucky to still be alive, but that the type of shark that bit her has a slow-acting venom. 

Y/n’s face had blanched at the news. The healer gave her a few months, maybe a year, left. 

“Well.” She said with a shaky voice, “Looks like i’ve got some things to cross off my list.” 

To everyone’s surprise, she stayed on the Volkvolny till the end. She had no other home to go to. Although she couldn’t do much besides help with navigation and the lines occasionally, Sturmhond kept her on, and refused everytime she asked if he wanted her to leave. 

When the time came, it was Tamar who said the prayer. “Let the sea carry her safe harbor, and may the Saints receive her on a brighter shore..” Tamar’s eyes shone with tears, more streaming down her face, but nobody mentioned it, nobody said anything.

“Saints receive her.” the crew replied.