Can I Get An Update On This, I'm Invested.

Can I get an update on this, I'm invested.

i'm like 99% sure this girl in my class is a wincestie but idk how to bring that up to her without sounding like a crazy person

MORE DICK-SCUSSION YES YES THIS. I hate that there's not more exploration of Dean being re-foreskinned after Cas raises him. Heck, not even just post-resurrection, not even just Dean. More fic with intact Winchester junk would be amazing.

I hate that MY OWN BRAIN, as an Aussie, in a country where circumcision is not and has never been the norm, has cruise-controlled into writing so many fics without even considering giving Dean his foreskin back, despite loving that headcanon. I think like an American when I write in this fandom, and at moments like this, it's a sad and lost opportunity.

2024 resolution to return to Dean the joy of his foreskin. Gonna do you right, bb.

listen it's already wincest wednesday in my neck of the woods so I'm gonna just get right down to it: couldn't stop thinking about sam being just weirdly obsessed with dean's circumcision scar (in like the a sweet body-worship kind of way but also in a gross-boys-being-gross-boys kind of way; they contain multitudes) and THEN had to contend with the idea that post!S3, if post!hell dean got rehymenated... did he also have to have his circumcision redone? or was he just rockin' foreskin for the rest of the series? genuinely I think this is the most I've ever considered hypothetical foreskin in my life. anyways, a tip of the hat and a glorious wincest wednesday to you all!

EEEE anon!!!! correct!!!!!!

[NSFT under the cut!!!!!]

i imagine in a scenario where dean is circumcised and sam is not, it's because mary and john intended to have it done, but haven't gotten it done yet, but obviously, it slips through the cracks after the fire.

i think it starts as a 'hey this is different than me.' (if anything at first sam gets kinda bummed about it, bc it's another sign that dean got something when he was younger (a happy family that had time to care abt things like that) that sam didn't)

but like...then it gets weird.

if they're intimate pre-hell, sam can't stop touching the scar. he'll blow dean just so he can feel it against his tongue, he'll reach over and put his hand down dean's pants just when they're watching TV or something so he can hold his dick in his hand and run his finger along it.

maybe dean notices that sam's a little obsessed, but just chalks it up to sam being weird bc dean's going to hell in a month.

and of course if we look at the traditional religious implications of circumcision, it's a physical difference between them, a show that dean has this covenant with a higher power that sam does not because he's demonic, and he's evil, and he's wrong.

but when dean comes back w a foreskin, i don't even think he notices until he showers. he screams bloody murder, and bobby kicks the bathroom door in, and dean's like "what the FUCK did they do to my dick??"

the first time they're intimate post-hell, sam sticks his hand down dean's pants and freezes. dean totally forgot to give him a heads-up, but it's too late as sam rips dean's pants down.

game over, honestly. sam doesn't become any less obsessed. he loves the way he can slide it back and taste dean's sweat, his dried come. you also bet they dock. like all the time.

as for getting it done again, i wouldn't be surprised if that was an implication from the higher ups, like 'oh look u can prove your loyalty again, and choose to make this covenant again type thing w heaven,' but i don't imagine dean being down with that (but if he does get it done again, sam wants to do it, you can't change my mind; getting to MAKE that scar?? jesus christ (charlotte agrees))

anyway.

you're right, i've also never thought about the state of dean's dick season to season, but ahh...yeah.

thank you anon for this lovely ask, and happy (day-late) wincest wednesday!

-lizzy

*ugly laughing*

...usually??

s5e11 sam, interrupted is THE EPISODE. it’s a fucking cinematic pipe bomb. watching it is like chewing on glass and swallowing propane. it is wonderful, it is amazing, it is EXCRUCIATING and i love it. allow me to explain.

(under the cut because i ended up rambling lol)

like, yes… it is extremely ableist. it is extremely offensive. it is an overdone harmful caricature of psych wards and horrific to watch but that is EXACTLY what makes it so good. i’ve never seen spn as a horror show but man this episode?? the psychological distress of it, the unease, the dereality??? it has me frothing at the mouth.

as someone who has tics and PTSD i have first hand experience being labelled as Crazy so that’s the lens i’m coming at this from. this episode is most definitely not a reliable source for mental health info but the way they portrayed martin’s character kinda got me. him stuttering over certain words, his general paranoia, how they clearly address that he went through a deeply traumatic event but that he’s still useful as a hunter even though he can’t do the things he used to before. i don’t think the writers intended for this episode to be viewed the way i did but man i am shaking it around in my cranium like a snow globe.

just the first few minutes of it is insane. dean acknowledging that sam was high on demon blood and that the apocalypse wasn’t his fault. seeing the absolute absurdity of the show in perspective with real life. dean admitting to his psych doctor that he's an insomniac, alcoholic, and incapable of holding long-terms relationships with his usual blase nonchalance, then immediately clamming up when she hits him with the "let's talk about your father." ??!!! i know dean is The daddy issues character but i love when they call him out like that.

and how can i Not point out the blatant assault and objectification… wendy forcefully making out with both sam AND dean. them both getting probed by the fucking monster of the week not even 10 minutes into the episode. SAM BEING TIED DOWN. i cannot explain to you how much i love seeing him restrained. the moment i saw sam tied down and angry i literally vibrated out of my skin that boy must be helpless and restrained more often it is beautiful.

on a sort of related note: high sam. yes. just yes. the little nose boop. him telling dean I Love You. getting all emotional about how much he cares about his brother. the themes of his autonomy being stripped. him being drugged up against his will when he’s a recovering drug addict????? INSANE.

also one thing that really stood out to me was dean being diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious delusions. which, yes, is inaccurate, but seems more like a misinterpretation of his PTSD symptoms. dean isn’t schizophrenic but he IS paranoid and he’s trained himself so thoroughly to weaponize his feelings that even to HIMSELF he seems narcissistic, when he’s really just scared and desperate. he externalizes his self-hatred as this overfed bravado but it’s because if he was honest about how he felt about himself the guy would simply fall apart.

expanding on that note… sam&dean meta on how they react to trauma & grief. dean immediately clams up and becomes anxious and terrified. he shrouds himself in so much false confidence but he genuinely hates himself so fucking much. so much that he just sits with his pain because he thinks he deserves it, while sam wants to externalize. he’s angry and that scares him because of what’s in his blood but the truth is that he has every right to be angry. he wants to be gentle but he has so much repressed rage that it bursts out of him and leaves him terrified in the aftermath. dean on the other hand wants to be angry but he’s so scared and critical of himself that he shuts down.

and the ending. my god the ending. dean telling sam to wrap it up and stuff it down. it’s excruciating to watch because dean’s advice is fucking shit but it’s also heart-breaking because it puts into perspective just how much these boys have on their conscience.

they PHYSICALLY cannot deal with their trauma. it is so awful and overwhelming that they could not function if they remembered it, so they forget about it. they push it down. they hide it away, and it’s so fucking refreshing to have an episode that acknowledges that they do that because THAT IS A TRAUMA RESPONSE. it is quite literally a SURVIVAL tactic. people who are severely traumatized will wipe their memory of traumatic events because they cannot function with it in the peripheral. this is a clear manifestation of sam and dean’s PTSD and how when they’re faced with these problems, their emotions take over and they completely lose themselves, whether that’s due to fear or rage.

the horror of this episode isn’t the wraith. it isn’t the silly little monster sucking out people’s brains. it’s the thing inside you. it is the imagery of these people hanging or with slit wrists being passed off as suicidal because they’re mentally ill. it is the ugly truth of trauma and the ways it twists your memory and self-worth. it is the inherent belief that someone is worthless if they are psychotic or paranoid. it’s the way the episode puts that perspective on sam and dean, shows them what it’s like to hallucinate and drags up their own repressed memories and puts them on full display. it is TRULY horrifying and it is GRIM and NASTY because it is about the human psyche and the horrible ways it can be twisted. it’s a fucking phenomenal episode if you can read the subtext and get past the whole “scary psych ward bad” wrapping.

I want to read fics about Sam having a small or perfectly average dick.

I'm not so much looking for the humiliation aspect, consensual-kink-related or otherwise (although I'll take recs if you've got them). It's just that we fetishise the idea of Sam having a massive swinging weapon between his legs, and I'm cool with that (super cool with that, watch me write it in all of my fics), but I'm equally intrigued by the idea of the opposite. I feel like it would be an incredibly rich soil for writing in, with many possible takes.

Like, what if Dean finds out one day.

What if he can't stop bringing it up, cracking jokes or otherwise (because he can't stop thinking about it can't stop thinking about it can't stop thinking) (because he's a well-adjusted, emotionally-regulated lad).

What if Sam has had a hangup about it his whole life (because even an average dick would look small on a guy his size) (because the people he's been with can never quite hide their reaction fast enough).

What if he finally snaps and trauma dumps on Dean about it.

What if Dean's heart breaks because he's loved every inch of that boy since he was a baby (from his this-little-piggy toes to his lullaby-and-goodnight eyes) and there's not a single part of that body that isn't perfect to him.

What if Dean gets on his knees and shows Sam just how he should've been appreciated all these years.

Or what if it happens some other way. What if it's Dean with the small dick? Or Jared or Jensen? Or both? All? What's your idea? Do you know a fic that touches on this? Can you share with the class? Please?