roxygen22 - Inner Ramblings of a Recovering Perfectionist
Inner Ramblings of a Recovering Perfectionist

Call me Roxy (she/her) *~Born in the 1900s~* Welcome to my eclectic collection of fandoms and hyperfixations ☆Minors DNI☆

689 posts

Abigail

Abigail

abigail🦒

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More Posts from Roxygen22

1 year ago

Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from jumpscares/screamers/etc from you on April 1st but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen

1 year ago

Stay

Stay

pairing: paul atreides x reader

word count: 2000

warnings: light angst with a happy ending

summary: you are the empress of the known universe alongside paul atreides, however, you dont agree with what hes doing, so you give him an ultimatum.

You had always loved the rain. Especially on Caladan. Yes, on your home planet it had rained fairly frequently, but it wasn’t the same. The rain on Caladan came down by the bucket full, not measly little drops. Each minute sheets of water fell from the sky like rolls of silver fabric. 

The only thing that lulled you to sleep more effectively than rain on a window, was the slow, contented breathing of your husband beside you, and the slow movement of his fingers brushing against your waist. Every now and again he’d re-adjust his position to get even closer to you. 

Usually he fell asleep before he was practically clinging to you, but tonight was not one of those occasions. 

“Paul,” You laughed breathily, pushing away from him a bit in order to spin in his arms and face him. 

He groaned in complaint as you moved away from him and opened his eyes blearily. 

“Why’re you moving away…” He complained, trying to pull you back to him. 

“Because you’re practically on top of me, I’m not a hot water bottle.” You chided, although the teasing smile on your face gave away your true feelings. 

“No, you’re better.” He said, a sly smile on his face, “Now c’mere, I’m cold.” 

You sighed, but did as he said, tugging his arm around you and lacing your fingers together. 

You could feel Paul’s smile on the back of your neck as he found a way to hold you even closer. 

“I love you.” He whispered, and you replied in kind, the smile that formed on your face certain to match the one he was currently wearing. 

“Promise you’ll stay with me?” 

“Mhm. I promise.” 

Now, as you paced nervously around the hangar, you couldn’t help but think back to that promise you had made. At the time, you thought that nothing could tear you away from Paul Atreides, not the sun nor the stars. 

Of course, you could never have planned for him becoming Emperor of the known universe. And you could have never known that it would be him tearing the both of you apart. 

At first, when you had been planning your escape, you had hoped that the aircraft would arrive before your husband. That was before you remembered who your husband was now. He would notice you were gone almost immediately, so you had to plan for confrontation, not avoid it. 

“What is this?” A voice came from the entrance to the hangar, echoing through the cavernous room and into your ears. He didn’t sound angry, merely confused.

You turned to face him and his expression was just what you thought it would be, torn between angry and distressed. In his hand, he held the note which you had written, telling him to meet you down here.

“I am leaving, Paul. For Caladan.” You said firmly, turning to face him. 

He smiled weakly, shaking his head, “Why all the smoke and mirrors? If you wanted to return home you should have said so. I would have prepared a ship for us both-”

“Because I am not going with you.” You interrupted, your voice harsh.

“What do you mean? It is not exactly typical for the Empress to leave her husband days after the coronation.” He laughed, but it was not the melodic sound you had once loved, instead it was forced, choked even. 

“Well, you are not the typical Emperor. I am leaving, and you will not follow me.” You stated, remaining firm, even as your heart threatened to betray your mind and run back to him. 

Paul just stared at you, his face painted white in shock. 

“Why?” He asked, his voice cracking.

“Because I can no longer stay by your side and watch you become this. You are becoming someone I do not recognise.” 

“My love, what are you talking about-?”

“I'm talking about this, Paul! Your holy war! You do remember that, don’t you? The war you swore to me you’d do anything to stop? And now, here you are, at its forefront.”

“I had no choice.” He said, his eyes hardening slightly.

“You always have a choice. You are their so-called ‘messiah’. Their emperor. They would fly into the sun if you asked them to. So ask them, stop this war before it consumes everything.”

“You know it is not that simple!” He shouted, and you couldn’t help but flinch slightly before rallying yourself.

“The man I married on Caladan would not have cared about simplicity. He would have cared about what was right, what was moral! He would never have entered this conflict, he would have laid down his life to prevent it! And I would have been right beside him.” 

“This conflict was inevitable! I am doing my very best to minimise the damage, can’t you understand that?”

“I understand that you are still not doing enough.”

Paul looked at you, incredulously, anger filling his gaze, “Really? How can I do more when my own wife does not believe in me! You claim to support me, and yet now you are leaving me. My position is still weak, and you leave the only man you have ever claimed to love.”

“Your position! You are faced with the massacre of your people and all you can speak of is your position!?. Have you no soul left Paul? Did it melt away on Arrakis, scorched by the sun?” 

Suddenly all the anger and venom drained from Paul’s face, and he found himself dropping to his knees, and begging you to stay. 

“You are my soul. You have been all these years. You keep me balanced, you are my morality, my goodness. Everything I do is for you, my love, for your safety. I only care about my position for it is your position also, all the power I have acquired is only in the name of keeping you from harm.”

You looked at him, staring deeply into his eyes, that piercing blue that you had thought so beautiful when they finally changed. Now they were just a reminder of how much he had changed since coming to this awful place. 

“I want to believe you. But you have always had such a way with words. I watched the way you deceived those people into following you, is that what you’re doing now?” 

He rose to his feet again, taking your hands in his. His face was frantic with fear. 

“I would never deceive you. I mean every word, I’ve felt this way my whole life. You are the most important thing to me. You know I would never lie to you.”

For the first time since the conversation began, you hesitated slightly. Could you believe him? Eventually, you landed on an answer. 

“...I do. You would never lie to me on purpose. You are lying to yourself too Paul. You know that I have never wanted position, nor power, heavens, I have never even wanted safety! All I have ever wanted is you, wholly, truly, with no barriers-”

“And you have me!” 

You reached up to splay your hand across his cheek, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill from his blue-blue eyes. 

“No, I don’t have you. I have splinters of you, and I fear the rest is lost. You may bear the resemblance of the man I love, but you are not him.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but no sound came out. 

Suddenly there was the immense whirring of gears, and you knew your ship was here to take you to Caladan.

“I’m afraid we do not have much time, so listen to what I say,” He didn’t react, his face remaining desperate and heartbroken, but you continued anyway.

“If you finally realise what you have done, and you fix it, come to me on Caladan. But I don’t want to see the Muad’dib, or the ‘Messiah’, or the Kwisatz Haderach. The only man I wish to see is my husband, Paul Atreides. Remember that Paul.” 

You gave him one last longing look before turning away from him, and making towards the ship that was emerging from the floor of the hangar.

“I’ll see you again?” He called, his voice cracking slightly as he stared after your retreating form in defeat. 

“Hopefully so, my love, hopefully so.” 

And with that, you stepped onto the outstretched platform of the ship, and shut the door behind you. Paul stayed in the hangar until the craft was gone, biting his tongue so as not to call out to you again and beg you to stay.  

*

The message that the Emperor would be coming to visit you had come far sooner than you expected.  

And you were disappointed in him. He was breaking your agreement, and so soon. It had only been a year, and to your knowledge there had been no change in the situation.

 Perhaps he was coming to ask for a divorce, maybe he’d found someone else since you left. That would certainly be ironic, considering the way he had begged for you to stay on Arrakis. 

However, you were incorrect, because only a few days later a messenger came to tell you that the jihad had ended.         

Immediately you leapt out of your seat, clasping your hand over your mouth in shock. He had done it. 

For the next few days, Castle Caladan was abuzz with preparations for the Emperor returning home. You oversaw said preparations with a watchful eye, and though you wouldn’t admit it, you were happier than you had been in years. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you had missed Paul terribly. 

Yet, when his ship landed, you were nowhere to be found. 

“Where is my wife?” Paul asked one of your ladies in waiting as he strode through the halls of his childhood home. 

“My lord, she left on a walk to the cliffs this morning, and has not returned since. Would you like me to send someone to fetch her?”

The Emperor’s harsh expression softened slightly. “No, I’ll go.” 

It didn’t take Paul long to work out where you had gone, and as he climbed one of the paths up to the cliffs, he was glad to see you sitting on one of the benches, clad in the green silks of house Atreides. 

He called your name, and his voice cut through the gusting winds into your ear, and you turned to face him with a searching look on your face. 

You stood, and couldn’t help but jog towards your husband, gathering your skirts so you didn’t trip and make a fool of yourself. However, you stopped short of running into his arms, opting to stand just in front of him so you could inspect his face properly. 

“Is it you, Paul? Have you finally come back to me?” You asked, your voice cracking slightly. 

“It’s me,” He whispered, reaching a hand out to touch you, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, what I was doing was wrong, and I know that now, and-!”

You cut off his rambling apology by surging forwards into his arms and kissing him fiercely. He immediately responded in kind, wrapping an arm around your waist and cradling your head in his hand, whilst you held onto the lapels of his coat as tightly as you could. 

Despite the fact you wanted to stay like that forever, eventually the need for oxygen prevailed, and you broke away to take a deep breath in, laughing lightly at the sight of his flushed face. 

He grinned at you, moving the hand that was on the back of our head back to your cheek, brushing his thumb along your face. 

“You missed me?” He asked, teasing, but his voice had a slight edge of concern to it. 

“Yes. I missed you so much.” You said immediately, emphatically. Because you had missed Paul, it felt as if you hadn’t seen the real him for years, and the feeling of being reunited was almost too much for you to contain. 

He let out a short sigh of relief, “I missed you too. But it’s ok, because I’ve fixed it all. They still think I’m their messiah, but I’m going to stop acting like it. And you were right, I was power hungry, and selfish, and I exploited so many people, and I betrayed you, and-”

“Enough, Paul.” You said, looking at him with so much care that he couldn’t help but smile softly, “Yes, you have made mistakes, but it wasn’t all your fault. And you’ve made a change now, you’re doing the right thing. And I’ll always be there for you. I had to leave to help you, but I knew we’d see each other again. And here we are, back home, just like old times.” 

“You’re right.” 

“I often am, my love.” 

He wrapped his arms around you once again, “Will you stay with me, here?” 

You nodded, “Mhm. I’ll stay for good this time.”

1 year ago

First time Valentine

Summary: You've never seen the point of Valentine's Day. Now Timothée helps you see otherwise.

Pairing: reader x Timothée

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Masterlist

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First Time Valentine
First Time Valentine

Something you wanted people to understand was that you adored the holidays, especially when talking about Christmas; you were a sucker for all of it. On the other hand, who wasn't??

However, in all your years, never have you paid attention to Valentine's Day. In your eyes, it was simply a day that flew right by without any significance, so why would this year be any different? That is what you thought in June; it was now February 13th.

(Your perspective)

Your head sunk deeper into your lavender-scented pillow in an attempt to free yourself of the rustling sound that carried from somewhere in the distance. Wait- lavender scented? You forced your eyes open and peeled yourself off of the soft mattress, brows farrowing slightly in confusion as the floral scent enveloped you further. Your arms struggled to support you as your drowsy head tried to make any sense of this, simultaneously picking up the peculiar sounds. Having managed to piece together that its source was, in fact, the kitchen, you kicked off the heavy blanket, swinging your suddenly exposed legs off the edge and leaving the safety of your bed. Curious of the time, you fumbled with your phone, eventually reading 11:52pm. So much for trying to catch up on some sleep.

Your groggy self cautiously made your way out of your master bedroom and down the hallway that led to combined kitchen and living room, pacing yourself as you got closer. Taking a deep breath, you peered through the doorway.

'Timmy?'

Your boy swivelled round, instantly breaking out into that adorable grin that you adored so much.

'Happy Valentine's Day mon amour!'

You burst out in laughter, for the sight that presented itself in front of you was something else: your Timmy standing in the middle of the kitchen, heaps of flowers, little intricate boxes, candles, movies, and bags of goodness-knows-what completely surrounding him, his chocolate curls now entangled with flour, little drops of egg dripping down your apron that now you saw on your boy, and hands submerged in batter, mid-mixing. Your laugh eases into a soft giggle as you walk towards Timothée, hands reaching out and wrapping around his torso, head diving into the crook of his neck.

'Mmmm' you hummed contently, 'Thank you, but what's all this?'

' Well, I just happened to know that you've never actually celebrated Valentine's Day before, which let me say I think is a felony, but that's besides the point, so I wanted to do something special for your first year! And well, this' he nodded his head towards the bowl full of batter, 'Is my attempt at cinamon rolls- HEART- SHAPED cinamon rolls to be specific'

At this point, you looked up at him, pure love and adoiration in your eyes, cheeks now scarlet red, for your boy had gone above and beyond, nothing you thought you deserved.

'I can't comprehend how lucky I am to be spending it with you, Timmy.' You beamed up at him, him grinning right back.

He leaned down slightly, and you reached on your toes, meeting in the middle and kissing tenderly. You could practically feel the love rolling off his tongue, and hoped that he could feel it rolling off yours, too.

You left his side for a brief while to inspect the other items scattered around the room, as he went back to his careful stirring.

'Hey Tim, what's this?' You inquired, picking up one of the many small curious boxes that lay throughout the room.

' Now for that, you'll have to wait until tomorrow,' he replied cheekily, looking over his shoulder into your eyes.

Your eyes flew to the small digital clock that hung above the countertop, and a smirk appeared on your face.

'Looks I won't have to wait much longer '

You remarked just as the numbers switched to 00:00.

'The morning. They'll look better in the sunlight!'

The wink that accompanied that statement made you roll your eyes. Despite that ,you were nothing short of extatic.

'Fineee, do you need any help, love?'

'No! I'm treating you!

You reached up again to capture his lips in yours, striving to express the never-ending gratitude you felt. You sneakily reached up a hand and ruffled his curls, flour cascading all over the two of you, sending both of you into a wild fit of laughter.

You then propped your face in your hands, leaning on the kitchen counter, focusing your vision on his face, still with concentration. You smiled softly as you noticed his cheeks turning a slight crimson.

40 minutes later

Timmy had just finished the rest of the dough and inserted it into the fridge for an overnight cool-down, so you took this time to assist him in wiping down the counter despite his consistent protest. Just as you were finishing up, he stepped over to one of the bags closer to him and pulled out a delicate single, red rose, tapping your shoulder gently to catch your attention.

When you saw what he was holding, you smiled wider than you had all evening, if that was even possible, knowing that he had specifically chosen a red rose, due to your love for the flower.

' I hope you know how much I love you mon ange, mon amour'

Your eyes glistened over, as you gazed into those love-filled eyes. God, you were fully, madly in love with the boy.

'Trust me, I do'

You stood there in silence for a while, simply admiring each other, each of you the favourite person of the other, undeniable love flowing between the two of, and the rose resting in yours intertwined fingers.

He then grasped the rose stem with his teeth, and you completely lost it; you two certainly could not keep anything serious. Way to ruin the moment Timothée! But hey, did you mind? No, not at all, on the contrary, you loved it.

Your Timmy was perfect. <3

1 year ago

can’t stop thinking about that shot where everyone in the room is kneeling and princess irulan, paul, and chani are the only ones standing. paul’s back to chani signifying his betrayal while princess irulan and chani are eye to eye - both heartbroken over what the man between them has done. my chest hurts that was so beautifully executed