Everything Has Its Limits

Everything has its limits

Leonardo da Vinci x reader

This is very graphic, very triggering, very dark and totally personalized, because I want to die (again)

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Two geniuses sat huddled in the mansion's library, inspecting closely the thing that has sparked interest in them lately.

Although they spoke in hushed whispers they didn't hear the urgent footsteps approaching them over their concentrated minds.

They only looked up after the newcomer coughed politely to interrupt their conversation.

"Hello Robin. What brings you here?" questioned Isaac, the younger of the duo. Leonardo, who has been hunched over his friend's back, too, looked up, only to see his beloved's face smile at him.

"Hello Isaac." they greeted the man cheerfully "Would you mind if I borrowed Leo for a bit? I need help with something..."

The physicist gaped at them at first, wrecking his mind about what they could possibly need help with. And it seemed Leonardo had the same idea "Why don't you ask Sebastian?"

His darling's smile faltered for a split second, before regaining their composure "I think you're better suited for this task." they smiled at him again.

How could he say no to that smile?

Soon they found themselves in the mansion's hallways, walking side by side. His beloved's pace seemed urgent, they were walking fast in the direction of their room.

"Does the old Comte need something from me?" Leonardo asked, more to ease the tension he couldn't help but feel than to actually question them. But Robin only laughed in response "Oh no. He has nothing to do with this."

It was quiet for some time, before they entered his darling's room. Slipping behind him to close the door after them, Robin stayed with their back turned to Leonardo.

"Say, Leo...What are you willing to do for me?" they asked in a gravely tone.

Leonardo was surprised by the weight of the question, although the answer seemed simple to him "I'd do anything for you cara mia."

"Everything?"

Leonardo chuckled "Yes, silly cara. Everything in the world."

They whirled around like the wind "Alright." they said. With quick steps, that seemed just a bit shaky, they closed the distance between them. Leaning as close to his face as possible, Robin whispered "Do you trust me?"

"Of course." he replied, confused. "Then close your eyes and don't open them until I say so." they instructed him and Leonardo immediately complied.

He could hear them shuffling around the room and wanted to question them, but their voice beat him to it. "I have a very, very important favour to ask you. And I trust you to keep your word and do it for me." after what sounded like a drawer being closed, Leonardo could hear their footsteps approach him again.

They took his hand and placed something in it. He could feel it was a handle, but of what, he didn't know.

Two small steps forward were taken by them, arms wrapped around his waist, grabbing his coat and a small whisper that nearly wasn't there reached his ears "Open your eyes."

His beloved wasn't smiling anymore, their gaze and expression cold as ice and hard as stone, pure determination shining through. He could tell something wasn't right and to his horror, his worries were confirmed when he lowered his gaze to find out they had placed a dagger from god knows where into his hand, the sharp end pressing lightly into their abdomen, stretching their clothes.

His first urge was to throw the weapon away, but with the way Robin was pressing into him it would do more harm than good. Leonardo couldn't make any rapid movements, else it would cost his darling's life.

But that's what they wanted wasn't it?

"Cara, what is this?" he asked, unable to believe, no, not wanting to believe what they were asking of him.

"You said you would do anything. You said it. So I'm asking you my love. Kill me.

Please."

His heart broke at their words. Their begging for death sounded so desperate, like this was the only thing that could rid them off a heavy burden.

Trying hard to keep his composure, Leonardo whispered "I can't do that."

At first, they were silent. But their mask slowly crumbled, pure pain and desperation and hopelessness shone through as tears started falling down their beautiful face.

"No, no, no, no... You promised, you promised me! You said you would do anything!" They kept repeating, trembling violently all the while.

They gripped his jacket tighter, pressing themselves onto the blade even more. Leonardo, slowly trying to step backwards, tried to reason with them "I can't take your life, cara mia. You can't want that from me."

But they only kept shaking their head "No, no, you don't understand, Leonardo, you HAVE to do it! Please! Please, I'm begging you! I don't want to be anymore, it's too much, please, I need you to help me, before I lose the courage, Please!!! "

Looking deep into his eyes once more, they realized they've made a mistake. How foolish of them. How could they think they'd find the help they wanted here, of all places.

Leonardo watched as all emotions washed away from his cara's eyes, until they became but an empty gaze, falling into the object in his hand.

He should've seen it coming. He could've prevented it.

Quick as lightning, they snatched the dagger from his hand, stepping away from him while he could only watch in horror as they brought it up to their neck, the pointed end digging into the soft flesh on the side.

"Please don't do this, you don't know what you're doing, cara mia."

"I know I don't! But since I've gotta do it myself, I'll just need to wing it, I guess!" they looked at him with fury in their eyes, angry, frustrated tears streaming down their face. "I can't do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore, let me be selfish for once, please! Let me do what I want to do for once, instead of what a normal person should do! I'm sick of it! I'm so sick of everything! I don't want to be, it's too much!" they screamed.

Leonardo was frozen to the spot, and watched as his darling closed their pretty eyes, ready to leave him forever.

But when a few seconds passed and nothing happened, he took the risk and in few quick strides closed the space between them, slapping the cursed thing out of his cara's hand across the room and enveloping them in his arms and held tight, as they struggled to get away from him, desperate to finish what they started.

They stumbled across the room until Leo's back hid the wall. He slid down and sat on the ground, locking his darling to him, rocking back and forth "Shhhhhshshshshhh... Calm down, it's alright, I've got you." he whispered as tears of his own slowly rolled down his cheeks.

It seemed the fight left his beloved's body and they went limp in his arms. "It's too late... I missed my chance." they whimpered in a voice so broken he decided to not ponder on it as to not break down completely. He needed to be strong for them both now.

"Please cara mia, don't scare me like that. I know nothing I'll say will change your mind, but please, don't leave me."

They didn't respond.

"You hesitated. You saved yourself, my love." he whispered into their hair.

"I was weak." they said almost soundlessly, staring at the dagger in the opposite corner.

"I am grateful for that."

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I... May have a slight problem... I'm so sorry about this, feel free to ignore it, but I would very much appreciate if someone would take this prompt and make it with the rest of the suitors, since I have the strength to do only one now.

Please help.

Oh my, thank you! I actually love Brahms, he's so precious (if I push aside the almost yandere behaviour he showed near the end of The boy XD) This was so nice, thank you so much, I really loved it ^^

Hi! If you're still taking requests, I'd like to ask for a matchup ^^ I'm panromantic and nonbinary (but all pronouns are fine with me), I like art, especially reading, writing and drawing/painting. I also love nature and learning about it (learning in general). Although I try ro be kind and respectful to everyone, I am not afraid to fuck shit up to stand up for someone. I have problems with mental health (mainly depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts/tendencies) and cope with selfharm. (1/2)

i pair you with, 

Brahms heelshire! 

he loves your artistic skill and will go crazy if you draw/paint him! he will carry the drawings round in his pocket if possible, or hang it in his den if it’s a painting. 

he finds books about nature and animals in the library that he leaves on your bed or nightstand, and he especially enjoys it when you read those books out loud. 

he tries to help you with all of your metal health problems, making sure you feel safe and happy. 

if you are having a bad episode of depression he will be more clingy than usual, but not for selfish reasons. he wants to give you kisses and head pats, 

he tries okay?

thank you for the ask! 

and i’m sorry if i didn’t describe your mental health properly, i have no experience with it but i tried to do it well. 

Thank you so much, aaaaaaah, this was amazing! Don't worry about getting Dazai's cgaracter, you did a pretty darn good job! He could relate to depressive feelings and to selfharm (although I think he would do different things...drinking, maybe? I've read fics about it, but idk). And don't worry about pronouns either, I don't mind any ^^

Ok, but like, when Dazai said "Did you really think I wouldn't realise, (Y/N)?" AAAGH, man, I got shivers!

Thank you so much again for this, I'm happy you enjoyed writing it 😳

Hi! It's me again 😅 So, I totally get if you won't feel comfortable writing this, but I'd like to request Dazai (and anyone else if you want) with a selfharming s/o (cutting and starving, if possible). I recently relapsed and haven't been doing well from the begining of the year actually and fics like that help me lots. Again, I totally get if that's something you don't wanna write. Thank you~

It's perfectly alright! I actually enjoy writing this kind of angst. I hope this helps you. And if you ever felt like that, feel free to chat with me, as well! This is going to be female S/O specifically, since that's how the game depicts it, so do tell me if you want me to redo this if you're not comfortable with this.

Also, forgive me if I was not able to portray Dazai all that well. I do like him as a character, but I can't really get a handle on him.

Also, Japanese speaking people, feel free to correct me if I used some phrases wrong! Google Translate isn't always accurate.

Trigger warning to anyone else reading this, this includes mentions of self harm and depressive thoughts, so please that keep this in mind.

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NOT ALONE (DAZAI X READER)

Again.

Just when she thought she would be okay.

But this is the sort of thing that just refused to go away, wasn't it?

She dearly hoped no one noticed. She had been able to get away with not eating, ready with the excuse "I'll eat later." And the cuts were easily concealed with long sleeves.

"Toshiko-san, are you quite alright?"

Ah, the love of her life. What a wonderful man he was.

She remembers the gentle keenness in his eyes as he asked her. She remembers how she quelled the panic rising in her chest, and said, "I'm fine," With a fake smile. He didn't push it, and she was glad for it.

What a goddamn liar.

You really don't deserve him, you know?

This, these cuts, this empty-ness, this what you deserve.

Pathetic. Truly pathetic.

Many nights had passed with her doing this. Starve, cut, cry, sleep, repeat.

This was another such night.

(Y/N) twirled the knife absent-mindedly. She was sitting on her bed, back facing the window. She had already rolled up her sleeves. More cuts waited to be added to the galaxy of scars on her wrist. Her eyes blank as she brought down the blade onto her skin.

The sound of a window opening stopped her.

She whirled around, hiding the knife under her pillow, hastily rolling down her sleeves, standing up to face whatever was there.

Actually, whoever.

"Dazai?" Try as she might, she couldn't keep the astonishment out of her voice. "Why are you here? It's the middle of the night!" He shook his head. "Precisely why I'd like to ask you why you're still awake. May I come in?"

She hesitated for a moment. There was a chance that he would come to know if she let him in. But if she didn't, he'd get suspicious. "Sure."

He slipped in and closed the window behind him. (Y/N) sat down on the bed, her pillow to her left. Dazai sat down on her right.

"What brings you here?" (Y/N) asked, trying to not show her panic. "Why, can't I come see my love when I want to?" He questioned, golden eyes glimmering cheerfully. She forced a laugh. "In the middle of the night, Dazai?" You are such a liar, (Y/N). "I got desperate, shin'ainaru-kun e (my dear). I barely see you these days. We don't even get to talk during meal times."

Her heart froze.

Does he know?

He noticed the change in her expression. "... Did you really think I wouldn't realise, (Y/N)?"

The use of her name by him, especially without honorifics, caught her off-guard. "You haven't been eating well. I can tell, you're looking sicker and more exhausted by the day." He looked straight into her eyes.

"There's something wrong, isn't there?"

She couldn't lie to those eyes. Not to those beautiful, mesmerising golden irises. Not to the gentleness and care in those eyes.

Look away. Look away. Look away. Look away!

Her hand moved instead of her eyes, grasping the pillow on her bed with such force that a part of it lifted upwards, revealing the knife.

His eyes instantly flicked in the direction of her hand, and he saw it.

Before she could react, he had picked it up.

Oh no.

His eyes went from the knife to her, then from her to the knife, back and forth, back and forth as if trying to believe what he saw.

(Y/N) pursed her lips, expecting the worst.

He walked away from her, gently putting the knife on a table away from her, then came back to her and she closed her eyes instantly.

She felt strong, warm arms encircle her and she opened her eyes, shocked.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was so gentle, so warm, she didn't deserve this!

"I didn't- Want to." Was all she managed to mumble. "Why?" His tone was calm, but she could hear a tremor in his voice.

She bit her lip.

"I don't deserve this." She finally whispered.

She could feel him move to look at her. "What makes you think that?"

I can't take this anymore.

"It's the truth! I'm a waste of space and a mistake! I shouldn't even be here, alive, breathing, I- I don't deserve any of the good things happening to me, I- I don't deserve you, Dazai!"

She broke down. She sobbed, clinging to him, her long-repressed emotions finding a release.

Even then her mind wouldn't let her.

Why are you telling him? Shut up, just shut up!

But it felt nice, somehow, it felt nice to let it out, to cry, his arms felt so warm, his hands rubbing her back felt so comforting, he smelled so nice, it was just-

Good.

She felt loved.

He raised a hand, placing it on her cheek. "(Y/N), I don't know how long you've been thinking like this. But I promise you, it's not true. You-" He looked into her eyes, and she felt as if he was looking into her, all of her.

"You are a blessing to me. Not many have the patience to stick around and try to truly understand me, but you did. I'm a difficult man to love, but you did. You are exceptionally strong willed for making it this far in life while dealing with thoughts like these. Believe in yourself, ai (love) . There's so much more to you than you realise."

It felt nice to hear, but… "That's so hard to believe, and- I don't think I can make it."

His other hand rose to her cheek, and he cupped her face gently. "That's what I'm here for. I will help you believe. I'll be there for you when you need me, so don't push me away again, alright? I love you, (Y/N). All of you."

For the first time in days, she managed to smile. A weak one, but still a smile. "Thank you, Dazai." He shook his head. "Īe, īe (No, no), no need to thank me. It's the least I can do."

They embraced, the voice in her head quiet for now, and (Y/N) realised, that though this was going to be an uphill climb, it was going to be messy, it would take a long time, but she would not be alone. It was not impossible.

hey so like

hi, you. yeah im talking to you. You like my stuff from time to time and reblog once and a while, and I always recognize you in my notes. we’ve never talked, maybe you dont like to say much or you’re nervous or something. it’s okay, whatever it is. 

I see you. you mean a lot to me. sometimes when I’m having a hard day, I’ll notice your name once again in my notifs and it makes me smile. im not kidding.

I don’t care if you’re a “ghost” follower or you send me asks all the time. i see you and I love you so much, genuinely and truly. you are really important to me. 

thank you. thank you for being there. <3

Thank you for the tag @a-napoleon-lover-at-17

1. I am interested in witchcraft and I'd like to practice it ^^

2. I have Tiktok (and posted my first today, @confused_bastard if you'd like to follow)

3. I'm on my way to be trilingual (I speak Czech and English fluently and am learning Russian)

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog!😘😘😘😘

Alrighty!

My dream car is a 93 Toyota Paseo, Thursdays are always a bad day for me and my favorite scent is the smell of old books.

I tag @worm-sy @sakamaki–gal @komori-beast @no-time-todie @emahodzic18 @littlebxrrygirl @rxinyr

I am the visionary compatible with the thinker!

It's a super cool test, whoever wants to try can ^^

Find your match: tag game

Hi lovesies, I kinda had an idea, after taking this test I found on @matstegen blog, about Creative Types.

So, I found out that, out of the eight possible creative personalities, I’m a thinker (the description totally suits me, btw lol). And I thought “How cool would it be if among my lovely mutuals I could find the other seven personalities that match and complete mine?”

So here I am, starting this ‘tag game’…

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

Let’s find our matches people!

I’m tagging: @sweetgcreature @its-a-metephor-brian @bohemiandelilah @gottabecool-relax @instantezra @radio-ha-ha @littledarlingwellaway cause they are my squad, but if you want to try and do this, you’re more than welcome!

Xx 💖

PS: my matches would be Adventurer and Visionary