Temperature Control

Temperature Control

Me as a child: Why can't we turn up the heat? More clothes are stupid. We're inside! We have heating! We are gods of our artificial environment!

Me as a broke ass adult opening a hydro bill: Ohhhhhh.

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

How to spot a tech.

So we're seeing Letterkenny Live tonight in downtown St. Catharines. We stop it at the local student coffee shop for drinks on the way over. There's a group of four guys waiting for their order. I glance over at their all black attire, then down to their feet. "Heh, Blundstones," I snicker to Garwik, pointing out some of the group had the favoured steel toes of Theatre Tech workers everwhere. And that's when I zoned into their conversation and caught "so I don't care about the lights, I just need to know what I can do with the truss..." Oh they ARE theatre people. Hah.

I love this. Wholeheartedly embrace this mentality. Stopping to check on people at the side of the road, changing their tires, it's something I embrace as a Honda rider (You meet the nicest people on one!).

Three years back in a Toys R Us, me and Garwik have a holiday tradition of 'build Lego all day'. We don't have kids, but we are kids, so it's a nice day together. I'm standing in line with a cart of Star Wars sets, bundled to the nines in my cold weather riding gear, and there's a young man and I presume his mother in line ahead of me. This was the rougher end of town, and the haggard appearance and visible tattoos were enough for a snap judgement that the dude had a less than perfect life. So he's got a basket of toddler toys and they're ringing it up and it's about $130. The guy and what I presumed to be the kids grandmother count out their cash. Then count it again. Then start removing things from the order, one item at a time. Out comes the Paw Patrol toy. Out comes the carpet playmat town for driving toy cars on. Out comes the off brand duplo. Finally they get their total under $100. And that's when I had enough. "Ring up the stuff they pulled," I told the teen on cash. Everyone looked at me like I was bonkers. "It's Christmas," I said. "Kids don't understand that Santa has a budget. Or why the rich kids get the best toys. Do you mind if I get you your things, and you guys have yourself a good holiday?" The guy behind me in line was irritated at the delay. Fuck 'im. Young man and his mom couldn't thank me enough. "Hey, don't worry about it. Maybe some day when you're doing good, just pay it forward." I don't care if that was foolish of me, or reckless, or if "they probably wasted all their money on crack". Ugh. Y'gotta trust in people, look out for each other, because we're all stuck in this mess together.

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

I am "smol", as the kids these days say. I think. Short, scrawny, underweight, harmless looking. But also really flexible and agile and pretty darn good balance. So being height challenged I too often find myself straining to reach just another inch or two to secure some clamp or loosen some bolt or clip in a safety - and No, Anrita, I can't "just make the lift go higher" because there's gods damned structural steel in the way.

Net result is I'm constantly just jumping up on the kickplate of the bucket, or standing on the apex of an A-Frame, or any number of things that are giving other people heart attacks, and I'm like; "If I feel unsafe, I don't do it. But safety laws are also for the lowest common denominator. 50 year old, overweight white men with bad backs and knees." Just because Gary can't even imagine balancing on one foot with another hooked over a pipe and an elbow braced to the wall, doesn't mean I can't zip up like a squirrel and get it done.

And yah, there're been a few "I've wildly misjudged this" moments.

I may have been in a Genie lift working by myself once, and when asked "why is this taking so long" I pointed out I needed to come in, climb out, move the lift, go back up, repeat. Every five feet. They jokingly teased about an old worker there who would just grab the (wall anchored) pipes, brace his gut on the railing, and pull the lift around, while elevated. And then left.

About ten minutes later, already frustrated at the tediousness of it all, I thought to myself; "Hell. If Ronnie could do it..." So I gripped the pipe, braced, and tugged. The bucket shifted forward smoothly. I'm about 18 feet up, and expected more wobble or resistance, but it was really quiet easy. Surprised, and pleased, I pulled forward a couple more feet then went to let go of the pipe.

And that's when I felt the bucket sway.

Disclaimer: The outriggers may have not been in because FFS it was already taking too long. Always operate elevation devices with all required safety features in place.

So my hands, instead of relaxing, death gripped the pipe as I realized what was happening below me. I wasn't pulling the base of the lift along as I'd believed. I was pulling the bucket, and tipping the lift over. I ccaaareeefully retraced my path until I heard the "thunk" of the rear wheels hitting the floor again, descended, got out of the bucket, and spent about five minutes in a chair contemplating poor life choices.

TL:DR = Use your outriggers. But also acknowledge some people are just comfortable in possibly risky situations.

some of you never watched your life flash before your eyes while standing one rung higher than recommended on a ladder to hang lights and it shows

Oh great, snow. You know what that means.

It means inconsiderate, lazy, selfish, assholes are going to be driving around with their vehicles covered in snow.

Roof, hood, trunk, windows, mirrors, bed covers - covered in snow, the barest hints scraped away by the windshield wipers and maybe the effort of holding the button to make a side window roll up and down.

Hoping it'll all melt eventually, or blow off once they start driving.

Yah. In my FACE.

Don't "have time" to clean your car off?

How much time you going to waste when you cause me to crash and I take your ass to court? How's a criminal negligence charge going to look on your resume?

"But my children's-sports-team-minivan / suburbitank-for-grocery-shopping / lifted-full-cab-hemi-truck is too tall to reach all that snow on top!"

You live in Canada. Snow isn't a surprise. The LACK of snow is maybe a surprise. But now it's here, like it always is eventually, own up and clear it because it's the decent thing to do. It's the same reason you shovel your sidewalk. It might not actually benefit - YOU-, but it helps everyone else, and covers your ass from fines.

- like seriously some dudebro sunglasses boi pulled up beside me with a sports car shorter than my motorcycle, and it had an inch of snow on it. One sweep would have shoved it all off. The barest minimum effort. Ugh .-

To everyone who does their part to make sure their vehicles are safe, we appreciate you! Thank you!