Fuck Yeah Fart Canons

Fuck yeah fart canons🤣

Bruce Wayne x Reader - Relationship Headcanons part 1/?

Already did the goodies here :  Bruce + Batboys headcanons 

As for the rest, here it is. I’m still not sure if I’m doing the “headcanon” thing right…Hope you’ll still like it, especially you anon and you @harlequin-swan : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Lips-

How do they kiss?

It always depends on his mood. It can be rough, or sweet. But it’s always the best kiss ever. Every time you think he can’t out-do himself, and yet, every time it becomes more and more amazing. His lips always taste great, the way he massages your tongue with his is always so loving even when a bit rough…His kisses are just the best. All of his kisses.  He’s all for sweet cheeks and forehead kisses. Doesn’t mind much for small PDAs like that, and will kiss your cheeks, forehead, hands in public, to paparazzis’ great pleasure.

What sort of sweet nothings do they whisper?

He would NEVER admit it, but he’s one of the cheesiest person ever. So whispering sweet nothing in your ear ? Definitely. Wether you’re in public (he loves the way your cheek tints of red whenever he whispers something cute), just the two of you cuddling, or making sweet love to each others : 

✶ “I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” ✶ “How do you look so beautiful all the time?” ✶ “You brighten up my day every time I see you. Your laugh…” ✶ “You make my sadness disappear with your beautiful smile” ✶ “You’re the reason my life feels so perfect.” ✶ “You make me believe in soul mates.” ✶ “You make me feel weak in the knees when I touch you.” ✶ “Just hearing your voice in the morning makes my day.” ✶ “ I love you so much I can’t explain it even if I tried.” ✶ “You’re the one thing I’m most thankful for having in my life.” ✶ “I want to kiss every inch of you.” ✶ “You make my sadness disappear with your beautiful smile.” ✶ “I could stare at you forever and I’d still feel like I haven’t had enough of you.” ✶ “Spending time with you is the highlight of my day.” ✶ “You could have any guy in the world, and yet you chose me.” (you always thought that one was wrong, that it was the other way around, but he wouldn’t let you say it…oh no) ✶ “I start my day with you on my mind and end my day with you in my dreams.” (one of his cheesiest line)

Yeah you get it, so many things. He makes sure to always give you knew compliments every day, just to see your slight blush and incredible smile. And when he can make you laugh because of his cheesiness or jokes, then it’s even better. 

What do they like to talk about ?

With you : 

✶ You. You don’t particularly like talking about yourself, but he loves to hear your voice talk about your day, about what you think…It’s soothing to him. Holding you in his arms and you just talking, he loves it. And he always wants to make sure you feel comfortable enough to tell him everything. He hates when you withhold important things from him (if you feel sad, if you have a problem etc etc…). But you guys always say everything to each others. Best friends AND Lovers.  ✶ Your children. It’s always an entertaining subject. Always. Chances are, one of them did something that is worth talking about. ✶ Surprisingly, himself. It’s not that he likes to talk about himself, just like you don’t really like to talk about yourself, in fact, it’s more…he likes to tell you how he feels, especially when he’s not alright, because you always have the right words to make him feel better.  ✶ The future. Your future to the both of you. ✶ Gossiping with you bring him joy. Oh you two always know everything about what’s up with the League’s members and such. Only nice gossips though, you’d never spread rumors, you only talk between the two of you, because you two already suffer enough from lies from medias and such. Damn rumors. But harmless gossiping about Green Arrow being totally dominated by Black Canary ? Hell yes.  ✶ Your and his view of life. It’s always very insightful.  ✶ His childhood. Your childhood. It…Helps often. And tiny Bruce was adorable. You were such a daredevil as a child that your stories are also always great.  ✶ Naughty things. Oh the way you blush, or the way your words are the only thing that can make him blush…It send shivers down his spine.  ✶ Each others’ fears. Because it’s nice to admit he isn’t as emotionless and invincible as everyone seem to think, but he’d admit it only to you. 

With his close friends : 

✶ You.  ✶ His children.  he’ll enjoy talking about you and the kids to his friends. About how great you all are. Only close friends, because he can only endure Clark and Diana’s teasing.  ✶ Them, he also talks about their interest. It’s his friends, he likes to know about them, even if he won’t admit it, acting as if his interest is only polite, even though he genuinely care. When they need him, he’s here to talk.

With everyone else :

He doesn’t like to talk about himself or actual personal stuffs with others . And as a public figure, as the famous Bruce Wayne, he’ll act as if he likes to talk about his company, about his work, about whatever is in fashion, about politics…but really, he doesn’t enjoy any of those conversations. He mostly just like talking about you and his children (as annoying as he can be), but he doesn’t do it in public. His life is no one’s business. 

Can they sing?

No. Oh God he cannot. It’s quite incredible to you really, how great and soothing his voice is when he speaks to you, how much you love listening to him saying whatever…but when he tries to sing it’s just awful. He has no rhythm. He’ll always sing off beat.  But you know what ? You fucking love it. (Someone pointed out to me that he actually can sing very well, and I know. I remember him singing for Diana in “The Justice League” animated show (found the youtube video here :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncj-wpBhr5E but…man, I just love the idea of him having such a great deep voice and not being able to sing properly…I guess it’s the point of a headcanon :D)

Legs/Butt-

Are they fast?

For a non-meta human, yes. That guy could have run in the olympics really, with all his training and such. Usain Bolt fast yo. Damn long legs. 

How flexible are they?

Bruce isn’t that flexible. He’s all toughness and muscles. Dick is the flexible man in the family, because of his acrobat’s past. Bruce, just like Jason, are more…brute force. Even though they’re master at martial arts, they’re not smooth, they’re not super flexible. They can high kick someone easily, but putting their foot behind their head ? Nope. You however, are very flexible, and he loves it. Useful. 

Will they fart in front of an s/o?

Most people would peg it unthinkable to even imagine the always elegant Bruce Wayne farts but…Oh man. With you he knows he can be himself, and if it means farting and burping in front of you sometimes, then he’ll do it. At first, he was so shy about it, and the day you laughed your ass off because you understood he was leaving your bed, leaving the room to go fart elsewhere, he understood that you didn’t care. Farting contest are a thing between the two of you, and the best thing about it ? Only you guys know.  You hate it though, when you’re comfortably settled against him, wrapped in the blanket, his arms around you,drawing lazy patterns on your back with his fingers, caressing you all over lovingly…only for him to let out a huge smelly fart, to trap you under the blanket so you HAVE TO smell it and for his arms to tighten around you even more, so that you can’t escape ! Damn bastard ! 

me: * trying to live a normal, non-chaotic life *

slashers just being slashers:

A head cannon of cracker and katakuri reaction when their s/o slapping their butt every time they walk by them 🍑

YAAAS sweetie XD Also you should checkout @thefreedomisouronlyrule-op‘s ass smacking headcanon for Cracker, they are wonderful:’D

Reaction to you smaking Dat Asseverytime you walk by

Charlotte Cracker

„Hehehe, what’s the matter babe? Did Ihave something on my pants~?

it never fails to suprise Cracker when yousuddenly walk up to him and slap his butt, especially since it’s usually him who’s doingthis to you!

luckily it never hurts and actuallyhas a slightly… arousing effect on him. You can’t keep your handsto yourself, huh? Is he looking that fine again today? Or are yousimply starving for his touch~?

Cracker doesn’t even care if anyoneelse notices lol. You’re his girlfriend, so it’s only his business if youror his hands decide to wander. But if anyone looks at him funny,he’ll just turn to them with the biggest grin on his face and will saysomething like „Yeah you saw that right, it means I’m gonna getsome sugar tonight! Are you that happy for me or why are you staringlike that?“

and naturally, he is totally going topay you back. In public, of course. Or even better, when you’re in a ratherserious or important situation. The sound of him slapping your ass will echo allover the place.

Charlotte Katakuri

„…………………………(Y/N), are you out of your mind? Seriously!“

WHY DIDN’T HE USE HIS FUTURE VISION TOPREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING. Now this big goof is standing here,unable to move and with the biggest blush on his face, trying to get a hold of what you just did and WHY.

did anyone see? If so, he’d have tosilence them immediately. No one should have witnessed thisembarrassing and life ruining moment ever. He let’s his guard downfor one freaking second, and you don’t even hesitate and go straightfor the ass, in the middle of the streets. Unbelievable.

oh you’re so going to get scolded forthis. He isn’t going to say a single word on your way home since hedoesn’t want to attract any further attention, but once the door isclosed… be ready for what feels like. the longest. talk. of your life.

also from now on, he’ll make sure thathis back will never be exposed to you like that ever again. Katakuri neverthought that the day would come that he’d have to protect his behindfrom his very own girlfriend. Shame on you, your butt slapping hand,AND dirty mind, (Y/N)!

Gotta give underrated characters credit man lol

Heeyy I was wonderin if u could do some sfw and possibly nsfw canons 4 T-bone from one piece btw luv ur blog🖤😍👏👌

((This is a character I never thought someone would even ask for but WOW whats it like to have some good fucking taste in men? Bravo.))

SFW

- On dates, will show up to his partner’s house early with a bouquet of their favorite flowers every time. Asks about their day and how they’ve been feeling lately, notices when they’re feeling down and goes out of his way to make their day just a little brighter.

- If he does manage to show up late, he’s far more distraught about it than his date.

- Every day before he leaves for work he gives his partner a kiss on the cheek and tells them how much he loves them. Then he gets on one knee and loudly professes his love for them for everyone to hear in a “brief” 15 minute speech, as to not be late for work.

- When he’s off on distant missions, he’ll call every day and tell them how much he misses them. He has a daily melodramatic struggle of wanting to stay by their side at all times vs. doing his job, but he reaches the same conclusion every day: Continue work diligently to protect them and innocent civilians from pirates. His subordinates love him, but at the same time they’ve gotten sick of the same daily dramatic play. 

- Cooks, but measures out every ingredient tediously and doesn’t ever deviate from the cook book.

- Will physically lift his partner off the ground just to carry them over a rain puddle. Takes it too far and just carries them the whole way back home.

NSFW– I’m going to be honest with you all, I just can’t see this man having a NSFW nature so I will give you one headcanon but that is IT:

Keep reading

I just went fishing with Kieran in my replay of rdr2 and let me just say it is so HEARTBREAKING to see him gain the confidence to let little pieces of his personality shine through and know what price he ultimately pays

When Arthur says he’s no good at fishing and Kieran says “But I am!” With that grand gesture of the open arms? It’s so full of life. Like if he weren’t in a living nightmare, that would be the real Kieran. In a world with better timing, that could have been the real Kieran.

We all write for the meek and scared Kieran we see trapped at camp, constantly downtrodden and outcasted, but we know that gang was a goddamn family, and the first family he’d had since he was a little boy. Imagine the kind of person Kieran could have become with the same years of love and trust some of the other members got? That Kieran we saw asking Arthur to go fishing could have become his day-to-day self, confident, fun, happy to be alive, a little proud even. I wish I could’ve seen him become that.