Randall In A Jar

Randall in a jar

I learned in a Latin Studies class (with a chill white dude professor) that when the Europeans first saw Aztec cities they were stunned by the grid. The Aztecs had city planning and that there was no rational lay out to European cities at the time. No organization.

Signs you grew up lonely

- Chasing people who don’t want you

-Making up lots of stories and worlds

-Overtalking whenever there’s someone to talk to

-Excessive reading

-Daydreaming

-Clinging emotionally to others

-Being the ‘disposable’ friend in the group

-Excessive baths

-Talking to oneself

-Obsessive friendships

-Excessive helpfulness

Hurricane tips I haven’t seen circulating yet

Hey guys if you’re in the path of hurricane Florence and you still need to buy water/bread but everywhere is sold out, here’s some tips.

Don’t bother with the main grocery stores unless you’ve tried literally everywhere else or you know for sure when they get a shipment. That’s where it runs out first. Don’t even think about going in Walmart. Seriously my friend was in there yesterday and she said it looked worse than black Friday, everything non perishable was running out.

Try some places no one really thinks to go first when looking for water. The club stores, home improvement, office supply, dollar stores, gas stations, big lots. Even more upscale grocery stores might still have some. I found water yesterday at staples. STAPLES guys, they had a whole pallet left. Some guy came behind me and bought 15 cases. I hope he was on well water. Speaking of…

IF YOU ARE ON CITY WATER what are you even doing your water will stay on during power outages, buy maybe one pack and then invest in water filters if you’re worried about quality, because PEOPLE WITH WELLS WILL LITERALLY NOT HAVE ANY TAP WHEN IF THE POWER GOES OUT UNLESS THEY HAVE A GENERATOR. Which are also sold out where I am btw.

If you need bread and it’s just not available here’s some things you can do. Buy dough. Biscuit, croissant, whatever, and go ahead and cook it up and put it in air tight baggies, keep in refrigerator top improve shelf life until power goes out. Or make dough and do the same. You need hardly anything, maybe 5 ingredients. Get frozen dinner rolls, waffles, pancakes and cook them ahead of time and do the same. Tortillas and bagels are just as filling and usually don’t sell out at fast. Crackers can also work for mini sandwiches.

If you are worried about having enough food obviously grab canned goods if you can find some but may I also recommend Goldfish. Yeah. The kids snack. That stuff is FILLING. If you’re worried about going hungry get a giant box. Have one bowl full in the morning and you’ll be fairly full most of the day. It stays with you.

Well that’s my weird tip list, if you’ve got any hurricane advice feel free to tack it on!

Goddammit, I need this in my life now.

FMA where everything is the same except Al is Weird Al