...more Clothes Augh

...more clothes augh

I read Bunny's discussion about her intentions/goals and so I mean, *flail*, what with the awesome tag its crowdsourced costume design almost, cannot deal. CLOTHES. I love stripes too but I'm super biased toward vertical ones especially on legs #teamverticalstripes :p

There's this special kind of el wire that's braided and animated in a way that makes it look like flowing liquid/marching ants/THE FUTURE so imagine that on the bolero jacket hnnnnnnghggh dear gOD I want to make it seriously Bunny if you're reading this I would absolutely make that for you just say the word because ROBOT CLOTHES GODAMMIT my stupid sketchbook is filling up with doodles of costumes (yup, totally including hatchy & the spine) adfhgdaadsdgf

I think I might take a break tho, I just want to make everything so badly but I can't (need a new sewing machine, moving soon, currenly traveling for work bla bla bla)... and it's starting to hurt my feelings T_T

I just love costumes so much you guys *ugly crying*

I posted on your deviantart.. I found a company on ETSY using your TEAM TARDIS image to make iPhone covers off of.

Man I know someone was using that pic for iphone cases on redbubble and selling them for FORTY bucks too. Possibly the same asshole. I dont even have time to deal with thieves cos when Im working my shifts are 13+hrs/day, many of the online sales services have convoluted and hassly reporting procedures, and its just a big game of whack-a-mole. I dunno, I'm always resisting putting gigantic hideous watermarks on my work but this is what'll keep happening if I don't. I don't make a living off my art so it hurts me less than it could, but people like this steal from anyone so that doesn't even matter. The irony here is the double-infringement of stealing fan art of all things! I've gotten requests to sell prints of that piece but I won't. And scumbags come in to fill the gap. I'm ranting I guess. I go long periods of time without sharing my work but stuff like this evaporates any regret I might feel. I honestly dont have the energy or time to deal with this stuff so I'm not sure what the solution is :(

Thank you for being honest about how your college life killed your art. I've completely stopped working on my art. I only doodle at work now. Your art has always inspired me and it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling stressed anytime I want to sit down and finish something more than a doodle. Someday I will draw again, or maybe I won't but at least I won't feel the same level of shame & betrayal to my supporters anymore. I gotta heal up and find my motivation again, my reason for art.

-octopusowl

I had an old post talking a bit about how much I hated art school… heh. I KNOW YOUR PAIN THOUGH. I UNDERSTAND. I have SO much unfinished art that I think could be really great but I just... can't. I've always avoided persuing art jobs cos it's hard enough for me to draw the stuff I *like*. I see how much even my most talented and well-connected artist friends struggle and they actually love what they do and I'm just like nope. Not gonna.

I'll be real with you, this is gonna freak some people out but I don't love drawing. I hate drawing comics because it is too much damn drawing, and discovered very early that I could never be an animator despite how much I love it because the thought of drawing that much fills me with existential horror. I love CREATING. Drawing is just the best way to get my ideas out. I was driven to draw well so I could convey my ideas clearly. I actually enjoy making stuff so much more, but crafts and fabricating is EXEPENSIVE and drawing is practically free. Making things requires tools and workspace, drawing at the minimum requires a pen and paper and you can do it anywhere. So basically 99% of what I draw is stuff I want to make but can rarely afford to :C My dream is to someday have a props/costumes shop where I just make so much cool shit (for example dyeing and styling wigs with weird colors and crazy anime styles is SO much fun omg- PLUS I'm currently obsessed with the idea of making glowing fiber optic wigs but once I calculated how much it would cost... uh. Augh. Still totally gonna make it happen eventually though). That's why I care about practical costume design, when I'm drawing clothes I've pretty much already drafted the patterns in my head and have chosen the fabrics, etc. I make decent money right now so that's actually what I'm working toward and yes holy cow it costs SO much. And next on my to-get list is a high quality sewing machine I can feel my bank account crying already :C

UM SO my theory is sometimes its possible that the thing you struggle to do is actually tangential to the thing you REALLY love and that's why it can be difficult and unsatisfying, despite seeming like its something you "should" love. I hope you can find that thing. I only just realized this about myself recently. And even if that's not true for you, at some point you may end up in a better headspace and find joy in it again, because if you did once, why not again? I can understand the guilt but just remember that art is a gift, given freely *when you can afford to*, and you don't owe anyone gifts.

indigogrim replied to your post: Stuff like this is pretty livejournal ...

The more you practice performing and sharing your art with people the easier it gets.

Thiiiiissss is what I'm talkinbout tho? One would assume 10+ years of trying would be enough to tell if such a thing is gonna work out or not D: I'm reeeaally reaching right now trying to decide if it ever got any easier during that decade of effort and fffffnnnnghmaybe? BUT worth it? That I am even less sure about. Cos when I draw something and I finish I'm good. It's like welp, got a thing out of my head, done, satisfied. Might show a friend or two if they're online at the time. Its a little easier with fanart because fangirling and FEEEELS. But meeeehhh? WHY should I continue to push for it, is what I want to ask. I never got much reason other than because people wanna see? And that's not motivational enough?... sorry...? The inspiration to others thing is but again only sometimes because that's not whyyyyy I do this, so when I struggle to share and can't, then I just feel ashamed and as I said, I'm done with that. 

adrhaze replied to your post: 

You can always become a secret artist with a pseudonym and just keep yourself in the shadows while letting your work speak for you. The masked artist! Or maybe an agent? It works for banksy and a lot of writers.

I have totally considered a pseudonym! At least for writing, if I ever actually finished anything fff. For visual art I don't think Banksy is a good example, being mysterious brings EXTRA attention... (besides doesn't he have an entire crew helping him out...?) Musically I sure love Daft Punk's thing but man how much harder would it be to start doing something like that nowadays? Anonymity is kind of impossible. I'm already probably as secret as I could even be :C

Thing is though, I love musical theater best. Like I LIVE for Cirque du Soleil shows (only time something has ever made me cry just because it was so beautiful), and I did a lot of that stuff when I was a kid. But you really have to put yourself out there for it. Collaborating with a bunch of people to create something thats so many kinds of art all at the same time that no single person could pull off is just the greatest feeling. SO its easier when its a group thing too, a cast and crew can be a really supportive kind of artist family. I made costumes and props and magic tricks, I danced at festivals, I played in band etc. Stopped doing all that stuff publicly when I was 15ish for mostly angsty teenager reasons, though one year I did audition for a musical and that was the last damn time I sang outside of the shower or alone in the car and let me tell you I was ASTRONOMICALLY outside of my comfort zone there, woosh. (but I admit I wasn't satisfied doing ONLY crew cos I gotta daaaaance) After that I would say... a lot of things happened that made life a little bit tougher and I had to lean on my art for emotional support. I don't feel like sharing stupid life story stuff but I mean, maybe some people can at least relate to the idea that you might need oh I dunno, a stable life (one where you don't use up all your energy just trying to survive, for whatever reason. I mean this very broadly cos everyone has struggles) before you can do extra stuff like art. And art is usually in the category of extra stuff. When I had enough spoons left in the day to draw I still wouldn't have enough to deal with the kind of ridiculousness artists online tend to have to deal with. I hope I make sense.

Things are better for me now though which is a big reason this nonsense is on my mind actually.

reblogging on the off-chance any artists who follow me haven't read this WONDERFUL post full of excellent advice. Its ALL here :D

Character design and drawing are tome-sized topics and even if I had all the answers (I don’t - I have a lot to learn), I’m not sure I could communicate them effectively. I’ve gathered some thoughts and ideas here, though, in case they’re helpful.

First, some general things: - Relax...

When designing characters (especially costumes--I'm thinking specifically of the organic-nanotech Iron Man) do you find yourself doing a lot of research specifically for that project, or does it tend to grow more often out of subjects you've already taken an interest in/have knowledge of? Are there any particular resources you find yourself using frequently for that kind of research?

-tyuran

Gosh. WELL. I read. A lot. Like when I go on a research tear I read so much it freaks out people around me 8| Super easy to read lots because I own a kindle. I just get obsessed with things and I have to learn everything I can so I tend to start with wikipedia and then move on to books, and lurk on discussion forums about the topic. (example, I am obsessed with jeeps, I am a member of the cult of Wrangler we have a secret wave and everything and I want to turn mine into a zombie apocalypse response vehicle someday :p and now it is super easy for me to talk about cars with all the dudebros I work with ffff)

Specifically with biotech Ironman tho? I was majoring in biology before I had to quit school for the final time due to uh, poverty. I love SCIENCE so when I nerd out over sci/fi I get tons of ideas for story and character design. It makes me a huge snob tho, like seriously people need to stop giving JJ Abrams all these sci/fi franchises he can't science fiction at ALL. UGH. Like sci/fi is exciting cos science is exciting dammit, and looking toward what's really possible. I saw that the Daily Show has a new segment called Neil Degrasse Tyson: BUZZKILL OF SCIENCE lol that man is my hero.

SO YEAH. Character design I do lots of research on... everything. And if I have a new character who does something I don't know anything about (like, my character Shae is a pilot so I spent some time studying seaplanes and helicopters while I developed her), then it's pretty exciting to learn a new thing! I've actually redesigned my character Edie (she's a giant robot mechanic lol) a bit recently because I've been working with industrial mechanics at my dayjob and have learned a lot about work clothing/industrial safety gear that I didn't find out thru reading. It's like that writer's thing where you just call all your life experiences "research" lol so that's pretty cool.