Timber Might Be Boring To The Rest Of You Guys But I Simply Understand Them In A Much More Profound Way

timber might be boring to the rest of you guys but I simply understand them in a much more profound way than any of you could

Jason is a hopeless romantic 100%

it just doesnt show

But everyone goes to him whn its time to plan dates

Dick: Hey, can I ask you something?

Jason, reading: No.

Dick: You see, Wally and I have our weekly date night coming up, but we've been to pretty much every place there is. You got any ideas for how to shake things up?

Jason: *scribbles coordinates and tosses him the Bat-plane keys*

[later]

Wally: Wow, I've never been to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Dick: I'm glad you like it.

Dick: *texts Jason a thumbs up*

Jason: *read at 8:55 PM*

———————

Tim: Jason, glad you're here! I totally forgot it's me and Bernard's six-month anniversary. Help me out, man.

Jason, clipping his toenails: Fine. You better write this down 'cause I'm only saying it once.

Tim: *nods*

Jason: Go to Home Depot. You're gonna need some rope, a tarp, hammer and nails, a hatchet, matches, and fuel. After that...

Tim: *furiously takes notes*

[later]

Bernard: A camping trip was a great idea. It's nice to get away from it all. And I can't believe you set this all up yourself.

Tim, chuckling nervously: What's a boyfriend for if not to build a tent and chop down a tree?

———————

Duke: So the school dance is coming up.

Jason, working: Theme?

Duke: Under the sea.

Jason: Ugh, how cliché. Anyway, Armand's Tailoring has a blue suit that'll match whatever your girlfriend's wearing. Tell him I sent you. After that, call Patricia's Bistro and make a reservation with the code word "surreptitious." Alfred can take you in the limo if you give him a 24-hour heads-up to clean it. Once you're there, remind the DJ he owes me a favor to get your song requests bumped up. And remember, a slow dance is basically moving your feet in a square but otherwise go with the flow.

Duke: Sweet, thanks!

———————

Cass: Steph is sad.

Jason, cooking: *sighs*

Jason: *takes out a tub of ice cream*

Jason: *scoops a hole in the middle*

Jason: *fills it with candy*

Jason: Here.

Cass: Thanks!

———————

*phone rings*

Jason, waking up from a nap: What?

Kory: Sorry if I woke you. Barbara's coming over for breakfast in half an hour but I burned it with my powers. It was supposed to be eggs benedict.

Jason: Order takeout and put it on fancy plates.

Kory: You're a lifesaver—

Jason: *already hung up and went back to sleep*

———————

Kate: It's Renee's birthday tomorrow. I have a gift, but I'm not sure if it's good enough.

Jason, polishing his gun: If it's from you, it will be.

———————

Bruce: *walks in*

Bruce: Hey, son. Selina's not talking to me after our argument. How do I tell her how much she means to me?

Jason, reciting Shakespeare: I know no ways to mince it in love, but directly to say, "I love you."

Bruce: You're right. I'm just gonna tell it to her straight. Thank you.

Bruce: *leaves*

Jason: *takes off his headphones and turns around*

Jason: Did someone say something?

———————

Damian: Todd, what is love supposed to feel like?

Jason: Why do you want to know?

Damian: None of your concern. Now tell me.

Jason: *shoots a training dummy*

Jason: It's when they're lodged in your head like a bullet. Except without the excruciating pain and messy red stuff.

Damian, nodding: Tell me more.

———————

Roy: *takes down a villain*

Jason, sitting on a roof: *wolf whistles*

Roy: The hell?

Jason: I know hot when I see it.

Roy: What are you doing here?

Jason: I brought Arrowdogs.

Roy: You hate Arrowdogs.

Jason: But you don't.

Roy: Aw, how sweet—EYES UP HERE, TODD!

talking to my past self

tim is a dog that chose, chooses, and will forever choose his master. he’s a guard dog. he would be allowed on the bed, if and when he ever asks. he rarely does, keeps himself curled up in his bed at the fire. he isn’t kept close to heel once he grows enough to be comfortable wandering, because when his master whistles, he comes. he’s loyal—the hand that feeds him and pats him is the same as the one chokes him and hurts him, but he will never bite it. he eyes it, wary, but doesn’t flinch from it. he chooses this. he will take it all as it comes. he knows his master hurts him because he’s sick. he is a guard dog, but before that, he’s his master's dog. he’s a support animal. he’s a pet. he guards, because that’s what his master’s pets do. he’s loyal. he cannot blame a sick man for being sick.

kon is a work dog, a sheepdog. he guards. his master, the shepherd, isn’t around. he has handlers. they are not kind, but kon is not a family dog. he expects this, and to him they are kind. he knows no better. kon doesn’t know the warmth of a fire, except when his master's parents allow him in when he comes with the sheep. he takes his lack of supervision as trust, as freedom, wears it as pride. he still comes when he’s whistled for. he doesn’t like how his handlers turned him into a showdog, he wants to work, but he is forced to like it. it gives him purpose. when his master, or no, the shepherd comes, he tells him he did a good job, he takes him into town. then he is glad to act as a show dog. then he is happy. but the moments are fleeting. he doesn’t let himself mind. he’s a worker. there are sheep to be guarded.

Very openly communicative x emotionally stunted but trying:

"I love you so much."

"And I, you."

packing all my mutuals a bowl unless you don’t smoke in which case it is soup in your bowl