NO NO NO NO. YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME

NO NO NO NO. YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME

GEONOSIAN BRAIN WORMS, RIGHT? THEY MAKE THE CLONES ACT ON A HIVE MIND AND BASE INSTINCT, WHICH UNDOUBTEDLY BRINGS UP REPRESSED FEELINGS (see the quote from one of the troopers that cornered Bariss "That's the thing about us clones, we know how to stop a jedi", something that the clones obviously think, but would never say out of the mind control) WHAT IF THE CLONE'S BASE INSTINCT, THEIR INNERMOST FEELING, IS OBSESSION FOR YOU

Like, say you're a camp assistant traveling along with your squad on Geonosis, it's a successful mission, save for getting separated from them for a bit after a freak cave in, but when you're back on the ship, your boys are acting different. They've been staring longer, wanting to be closer to you, but being more distant at the same time. They don't react to your jokes, just smiling awkwardly and exchanging glances amongst eachother. They always seem to be just... sitting in silence when you walk into the room, staring straight ahead.

They've been fighting the urge to implant you with the parasite with everything they've got left, but it's twisting their thoughts. They've never felt more unified, they think with one mind now, and the only thing that one mind agrees on is keeping you all to themselves. And if that means allowing the worm in to help you see their point of view, then who are they to resist?

They can't for much longer anyways.

---------------------------------------------------

“The prince just fell in love with Cinderella because of her looks!”

Wrong. Okay, picture this–

So there’s the prince, okay? He’s like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and he’s stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like, “Oh yeah my family’s been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think you’re cute, *cough* I’ve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anyway–” and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally like “Someone please kill me now.” And then… he sees her–This isn’t a love at first sight thing, this is a ‘what the hell is going on over there’ thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes. 

She’s just at the hors d’oeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, she’s polite about it, she’s happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and she’s really so sweet with the wait staff, it’s kind of cute because they’re like… definitely not used to being acknowledged) but it’s like, “Damn girl, did you not eat today?” and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought of ‘how many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.’ And then the Prince realizes he’s missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because he’s watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So he’s like, “Excuse me” and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.

 And as he’s approaching Mystery Girl, it’s kind of hitting him that something’s not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole evening’s been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesn’t seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like, “Hi,” and she’s like, “Oh–hey, have you tried the tapenade?” and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with the “You don’t know who I am, do you?” deal or the “Very funny, I see your play” deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasn’t had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and there’s something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostini and she still seems so food-focused that it doesn’t seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.

She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, he’s cool with it, mostly he’s just absolutely fascinated listening to her.

See here’s the thing about Cinderella:

1. She doesn’t know he’s the prince. Like yeah, he’s been at the center of the room, but she’s kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere she’s allowed to go (”Have you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??” further confirmation that she doesn’t know who she’s talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food. 

2. She assumes she’s never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.

So she’s just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like it’s nothing, just funky little things she’s observed, and again, she’s not aware that he’s the prince, but it’s still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.

She… seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families™ have, but there’s something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her family– is raising several red flags, not in the “Oh this is another person trying to take advantage of me” sense, but in the “Oh fuck, something’s gone really wrong and you need help” sense and also lowkey a ‘damn is she even getting fed?’ sense. But he can’t say, ‘Hey, that’s not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,’ without sounding crazy himself, so for now, he’s just going to chill, make sure she’s comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. She’s somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so they’re willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasn’t danced yet and she’s like “Come on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!” and he just bursts out laughing at that like “hell yeah, let’s make the prince jealous. He’s a real asshole.” Like clearly she’s having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while they’re dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring. That doesn’t seem quite right. Like, yeah she’s hot, she knows she’s hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?

Oh.

Oh wait.

Oh shit.

And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!” “I dunno it was nice being treated like a normal person” “Well me treating you like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!” “Hey–Hey–it’s cool–you’re cool–I think you’re amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.” “Well I don’t like that! That’s fucked up!” “I agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and I’m here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?” And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. she’s just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows he’s a good guy, she knows he means well, so she’s like, “I don’t know how long I can actually work with you.” and the prince is like “Look, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we can–”

And then the bell starts ringing.

It’s midnight.

And then she takes off in a panic, and our prince just met the coolest person ever, and like, he’s pretty sure whatever situation they’re headed back to is fucked up, and all he’s got going to find her is a shoe. A shoe. 

&. 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  smut  /  nsfw  implied  sentence  starters  with  not  so  vulgar  language.  )

❛ i’ve been thinking about you all day. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ how badly do you want me? ❜

❛ i can’t get enough of you. ❜

❛ i’ve never done something like this before. ❜

❛ i like being close to you. you’re warm. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜

❛ i’m not jealous. ❜

❛ shh. there’s people in the other room. ❜

❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜ 

❛ i won’t bite. unless you’re into that sort of thing. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ would you like to go somewhere a little more private? ❜

❛ i’ll take care of you. ❜

❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜

❛ take off your clothes. ❜

❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜

❛ show me how much you missed me. ❜

❛ is this okay? ❜

❛ you know you love me. ❜

❛ i want you to feel good. ❜

❛ make me. ❜

❛ i want this. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you’re such a tease. ❜

❛ want me to model these for you? ❜

❛ we have to make this quick. ❜

❛ what are you looking at? ❜

❛ it’s hot when you talk back. ❜

❛ you don’t have to be gentle. i won’t break. ❜

❛ don’t you know what you’re doing to me? ❜

❛ i really want to kiss you right now. ❜

❛ this is a one time thing. ❜

❛ you know where to find me. ❜

❛ did i say you could stop? ❜

❛ you’re soaked. let me grab you a towel. ❜

❛ i want to see you. ❜

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜

❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜

❛ you look good with my hands around your throat. ❜

❛ i’ll be good, i promise. ❜

❛ you’re really good at that. ❜

❛ shut up and kiss me already. ❜

❛ you better watch your fucking mouth. ❜

❛ don’t mind me. just enjoying the view. ❜

❛ tell me what you want. ❜

❛ here’s my hotel room number. ❜

❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜

❛ and where do you think you’re going? ❜

❛ if you called just to get off on my voice, i’m hanging up. ❜

❛ i shouldn’t allow myself to get this close to you. ❜

❛ what if i hurt you? ❜

❛ you could never hurt me. ❜

I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.

She’s Mine- Hondo Ohnaka x Reader

Author’s Note: I don’t know how many people out there like Hondo but I kinda love him

Plot Summary: After crashing your ship on the surface of Florrum and running into a certain Weequay pirate, your life changes for the better

Warnings: If you really squint your eyes there might be the slightest implication of smut

You swayed your hips to the upbeat music, a pretty cocktail held delicately in one hand while the other one ran through your messy hair to tame it. You could feel the many eyes on you, but continued to dance as though you were the only one in the room. A loose fitting white shirt, one that you had stolen from your lovely Weequay, hung from your frame while a comfortable pair of shorts showed off your pretty legs and kept you comfortable in the intense heat of Florrum. You spun around and began to dance with the nearest pirate as the live band started playing the song that you had so enthusiastically requested. With one hand holding his and the other strategically balancing your beverage, you had him spin you around and release you into the middle of the cantina with a laugh. 

From a distance, seated at one of the many tables with one of his men, Hondo admired you with a fond smile and loving gaze. He watched your hips move to the beat of the song, your hair bounce with every jump or spin, and your eyes light up as you recited the lyrics with a smile. You were so carefree and so incredibly beautiful. You certainly stood out amongst the cantina of gruff Weequay pirates and not just because you were the only human in the area. Your bubbly personality and gentle nature turned eyes wherever you went, yet you never seemed to notice. You just lived your life, content and easygoing. 

“You’re a lucky man, Ohnaka.” His partner’s eyes were also fixated on you, shaking his head with a smirk. 

“That I am, my friend.” He laughed loudly, feeling a twinge of pride at the statement. “That I am.”

Arriving on the plant Florrum was definitely the best mistake you had ever made. It had happened unexpectedly and during a time when you were just trying to make enough credits to get by. You were making your way through some of the outer rim planets in search of another job, anything to pay for some food and a bit of fuel. What you hadn’t been expecting when you emerged from hyperspace was to be sitting directly in between two warships of opposing sides. Your ship was shot down immediately, mistaken as an enemy ship, and you had to make a not so pleasant surprise landing on the surface below. 

When Hondo’s men had found you, scraped up and panicked, they took you to their leader to discuss what was to be done with you and your destroyed ship. Now Hondo would never admit to being soft, but when he saw your pretty face and heard that sweet voice of yours while you frantically tried to explain why you had accidentally landed into his territory, he melted immediately. He watched with upturned lips as you apologized profusely for damaging his property in the crash. With no credits to compensate him and no means of leaving, Hondo quite generously offered you a job working at the same cantina that you were currently dancing at. It wasn’t long before the charming Weequay had stolen your heart through his smooth compliments and sweet gestures. Long days working to mix drinks for rowdy pirates quickly turned into days of dancing, laughter, and learning medicine from one of Hondo’s best medics. 

“___!” He called out your name and watched as you spun around to face him. As soon as you saw his face, you were beaming. “My dear, come over here!”

“Sabo! Keep your eyes to yourself, my boy, if you want to keep them!” He shouted at a rather startled pirate who had been eyeing you for longer than appreciated while you sauntered over to your lover. “It’s not my fault the only woman who kisses you is your mother, but this one is mine!”

“Hondo!” You laughed and gave a gentle smack to his chest, sitting down on his lap so that you were facing him. You set your drink aside on the table to give your pirate your full attention.

“What?” He laughed out, the sound warm and joyful as he raised his hands in mock surrender. You took that moment to grab both of his hands in yours, guiding them around your waist so that he was holding you. You looked at him with a fond smile. Maker, did he love that smile of yours. He had never seen such a beautiful creature in all his life. Your hair was still slightly messy, cheeks tinted pink after all of your dancing, and bright eyes shining with adoration for him.

“You’re terrible,” you teased, eyes locking with his through his tinted goggles. 

“Of course I am! I am a pirate!” He had a grin on his face. 

“Sweetest pirate I’ve ever met.” You pressed your lips to his cheek and his heart swelled with happiness. His hands slid down to rest on your hips, thumbs brushing over your clothed skin.

“Only to you, my love.” Your smile widened and your heart fluttered at the sweet statement. 

“I love you, Hondo.”

“My dear, I love you more.” He watched you glance down at his lips and then back up to meet his eyes. At this gesture, he raised a brow, the corner of his lips upturning as he spoke. “I think it’s time we get out of here and go somewhere more private.”

“I think that would be perfect.” The two of you stood up and he took the opportunity to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you protectively into his side. 

“Can everyone just take a minute to look at my beautiful lady!” He announced proudly and a dark blush spread across your cheeks. He was always trying to show you off in one way or another, his methods usually leaving you flustered and embarrassed. “Emphasis on mine! Now go back to your drinks and leave us alone!”

With that, he walked out of the bar, smiling at your beautiful laugh and red face. He loved you more than anything and would not hesitate to let the entire galaxy know if he could. 

"He's so beautiful" I whisper to a man who is wearing a full helmet and body armor.