I've Already Been Orphaned Once. I'll Be Damned If I Allow Myself To Be Orphaned Again.

I've already been orphaned once. I'll be damned if I allow myself to be orphaned again.

STOP SCROLLING!

Oka, I plan on following everyone on tumblr

literally everyone

Please reblog so I can make this happen

"Sir, take a number and stand in line."

"I did, I just had a question. My ticket days 'AE'?"

"Our ticket system is hexadecimal."

"Oh. Um... what's the current number?"

"7."

"So... I'm gonna be here a while, aren't I?"

"Seems likely, sir."

The fire in the chimney was completely burnt down when the professor woke in the unusually cold staff office. As a matter of fact there was no warmth at all in the usually wonderfully cozy armchair he had fallen asleep in the night before.

But he didn't feel the cold. Instead he felt remarkably well: the terrible headache that had plagued him the last few days was completely gone and his joints didn't ache the way they usually did whenever he happened to fall asleep sitting up.

Even getting up was no hardship. Most mornings he couldn't help but groan whenever he made the effort to heave himself into a standing position but today he felt strangely light as though a huge weight had been lifted from him.

If he had been an imaginative sort of man he would've felt though he would be blown away by the lightest breeze never to be seen again. But he firmly disapproved of flights of fantasy and so the thought did not occur to him. He simply felt pleasantly light and unusually well.

When he walked in this new floating way to the window he saw that the sun was well over the horizon. It had been ages since he had slept so long. Overslept as a matter of fact. It was undoubtedly time for the first lesson already. Oh this hurrying was not good at his age!

But still the fourth year‘s students must be waiting already. And he wasn't the sort of man who would tolerate tardiness in his pupils – it wouldn't do to set them a bad example. The robes he had worn yesterday would do for now.

The fourth year‘s were indeed already waiting in the classroom but thankfully hadn't caused any (immediately obvious) mischief in his absence. Although they did seem to grow awfully pale all of a sudden and a bushy haired girl in the first row actually screamed.

"Professor Binns!“, she cried "What...Are you well? What happened to...Sir!“

You died the way you lived: having no clue what’s going on. You are so clueless that you didn’t even notice that you died and just got up and went to work like normal the next day.

I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo. When I asked the keeper why it was there, he said it was bread in captivity.

NATIONAL TELL A JOKE DAY!

Tell a joke, tag some friends!

"I want to be clear here, Mr. Mouse. You want to divorce your wife because she is insane?"

*Mickey voice* "Aha! No, I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"

@camotherogue @creativelym3 @missstar489 @colonelpancakes @the-feral-gremlin @babe-ruthless87 @ladyflautist @undead-bi-dinosaur @princessofwhiteshadows @merakiaes