Ren Family Drinking Headcanons

Ren Family Drinking Headcanons

- Hakuren was the kind of drunk that hugged everybody, sang at the top of his voice, and climbed up onto the highest places he could find because fuck you, I’m invincible! Also was the lightest lightweight that ever did lightweight, but refused to admit it. Any function that involved alcohol usually ended up with Hakuyuu chasing him around trying to get him to stop:

Hakuyuu: REN NO IF YOU DRINK THIS MUCH YOU WILL BE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FUCKED IN THE MORNING

Hakuren: (chugging an entire bottle of wine) UNFORTUNATE

Hakutoku: (to Hakuei and Hakuryuu) You know how your big brothers are supposed to be setting an example for you two? Well, I want you to look at this nonsense and remember it when you get old enough to drink.

- Hakuyuu was like Captain America: he could hold his liquor like a god damn champion. He saw it as a sign from the universe that it was his duty to handle his family’s drunk shenanigans.

- Hakuryuu doesn’t know it, but he inherited his “crying emotional drunk” tendencies from his father. Drunk Hakutoku was also very affectionate; the first family member he saw would end up stuck in a very long bear hug while he rambled on and on about how great they were. 95% of the time, this happened to a very unamused Gyokuen:

Hakutoku: (holding her in his lap and petting her hair) LOOK AT MY WIFE SHE’S SO TINY AND SO PRETTY AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH <3 <3 <3

Gyokuen: (starts to think that killing him might not be such a bad idea)

Hakuyuu and Hakuren: Aww, having fun there, Mother? :)

Gyokuen: (glares the fires of hell and damnation at them)

Hakutoku: (sees his sons) JEWEL, LOOK AT THEM, LOOK AT WHAT WE MADE! OH MY GOD, WE MADE THOSE, REMEMBER WHEN WE DID THAT?!

Gyokuen: Yes, Toku, I regret it every single day.

- Technically, Gyokuen doesn’t drink, but has been known to throw some liquor into her tea when dealing with particularly stressful situations.

- Like her father and brother, Hakuei cries when she’s drunk, but it’s not that she gets emotional, she just gets very overwhelmed by everything. You know that one video where drunk girls get surprised with puppies? That’s basically her:

Hakuei: (crying while holding Hakuryuu and Seishun like their lives depend on it) I’m like a single mother in here, I can’t, I can’t! I shouldn’t have drank whiskey, I can’t protect them!

Hakuryuu and Seishun: (look at each other awkwardly because they still don’t know how to deal with this shit)

Hakuryuu: Uh… (pats her shoulder) There, there?

Hakuei: (starts SOBBING)

Seishun: Nice going, Hakuryuu.

Hakuryuu: Oh, shut up.

- Kouen doesn’t always get drunk, but when he does, he will fight anyone and anything. This includes but is not limited to: pillars, hedge sculptures, a cow, his bedroom doorknob, and Koumei. He’ll end up going around muttering, “I am the fucking strong,” all night, and walking into things a lot. When he’s one of the sober ones, though, he usually takes it upon himself to throw his drunk siblings over his shoulder and carry them safely back to their rooms to sleep it off.

- Kouha enjoys drinking contests, only because he can drink everyone in the palace under the table, no sweat. His girls are very proud of him. Kougyoku still thinks she has a chance of beating him, so challenges her brother more often than she probably should. The two of them enjoy sweet, fruity drinks.

- Koumei doesn’t like alcohol, because it’s poisonous to birds. He must protect his birds.

- Bonus: the only alcohol Judal will ever touch is peach wine, but if he gets his hands on any, he will drink all of it, no matter how much. Since ridiculously powerful magician + alcohol + complete lack of fucks to give = disaster for all involved, it’s agreed that the Magi should be kept sober at all costs, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. Hakuryuu usually takes it upon himself to be drunk!Judal’s handler (half because he’s concerned for everyone’s well-being and half because he sees Gyokuen in the background just about ready to use Sheba’s staff like a baseball bat on poor unsuspecting Judal, and he figures that there’s got to be a less painful solution), but always ends up frustrated and near tears and yelling for Hakuei and Seishun to help him out. You try to catch a drunk asshole with magic powers, who can fly away from you every time you get close. It is hard. 

Write fanfic for yourself.

Publish fanfic for the rotation of 3-6 people who are devoted readers and will either go feral or leave you very nice words and yell with you about it.

𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙔 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆

↠ feat. solomon, hakuryuu, judar, sinbad + kouen

↠ warnings. praise and degradation, dom/sub dynamics, mean dom! judar, unprotected sex, exhibition-ish sex, hair-pulling, spanking

↠ inspired by anantaru!

solomon is gentle in everything he does and you are no exception. his warm breath fans over your cheeks as he nestles himself between your legs and his kisses along your throat tickle you. you giggle, he smiles against your skin. "you're so beautiful," solomon murmurs into your ear and you can't help but shiver. your spine arches off the bed, tits pressed against solomon's hard chest. oh, you look so cute when you're so sensitive, blush spread across your cheeks and kiss-swollen lips parted. "there, there," he coos and drags his leaking cockhead through your folds, lubing himself up. "let me take care of you."

and when solomon finally splits you open, bottoms out and rolls his hips into yours, you can't help but moan his name and cling to your lover, gripping his shoulders, hair, anything you could get ahold of.

hakuryuu who holds your hands, intertwines your fingers and stretches your sobbing cunt around his cock. breathing labored, he tries his best to let you adjust, but the way you squirm underneath him, thighs shaky and your gummy walls sucking him in, there's only so much he can take. "fuck, so tight," hakuryuu cusses and immediately thrusts into you. over and over again, his balls smack against your ass. the squelching sounds of your pussy taking every inch of him made him hold your hands tighter.

and then there's you, begging for more and whining his name oh-so-sweetly. hakuryuu hugs your body flush to his, clashes his lips against yours and groans into your mouth when he finally pounds you into the mattress, his weight feeling so perfect on your body.

judar pushes your face into the pillows and pounds his hips into your ass, driving his heavy cock into your hole. "please, slow down!," you cry, hot tears roll down your cheeks and dampen the pillows. your legs shake when judar grabs the roots of your hair, pulls your face up and leans over the delicate curve of your spine to rasp into your ear. "you were the one to ask for this. you begged for it and now you're asking me to stop?" a sharp slap is delivered to your ass. the light jiggle of your flesh against his palm is enough to make his cock twitch within your cunt.

"carry the consequences of your actions, love." and just like that, judar drops your head, reaches around your hips and pinches your clit between calloused fingers until you're crying his name like a sweet prayer.

you're pushed up against the polished window overlooking sindria while sinbad holds one of your legs up, his other hand rubbing his swollen cockhead around your clit. expensive robes pool around your waist, your breath fogs up the glass. a blush rests on your cheeks and a whine slips your lips at the sticky sound. "you're so adorable when you're needy." sinbad smiles and presses a kiss behind your ear. "now don't be shy and moan as much as you want, my dear," he husks and then slips inside your sloppy cunt. sinbad groans, inch after inch being swallowed by your small hole and your warm walls sucking his cock in deeper.

he knows he's nestled right against that sweet spot of yours when your legs shake, when you push your ass back against him and desperately try to ride his dick. "ah, right there. more, more!," you moan, "make me cum, please!" and as much as sinbad loved watching you ride his fat cock, who was he to refuse your request? slowly, he grinds his cock into your sweet spot and groans when you clamp down on him. "careful or i'll have to cum inside, darling."

kouen is a busy man and seldom has time to take you out, to proclaim his love for you, to fuck you like you deserve. but tonight is different when he's on his back, large hands on your hips and guiding your smaller self down on his fat cock. "kouen, i can't, you're too b-big." you stumble over your words, but the prince shushes your worries. "don't worry. i'll make it fit, love. all you have to be is pretty for me, yeah?"

kouen leans his head back into the pillows once he's balls deep buried in that sweet pussy and gropes your ass before smacking it once, twice. praises fly out of his mouth as he draws his hips back and drills his cock into you. your slick sticks to his thighs, stains the sheets and your high-pitched moans he draws from your reddish lips. "so perfect. it's like this pussy was made for me, isn't it?," he groans, watching your tits bounce in sync with his thrusts.

tags. @cinnamonmon

KISSING HCS FOR HAKUYUU PLEASE I'D CRY

I GOTCHU FAM!

Hakuyuu:

Despite being serious all the time, he’s actually very sexy when kissing someone.

No one would’ve ever guessed that, not even his siblings. 

He’ll usually have you on top of something. Most of the time it’s his desk. 

He loves it when you wrap your arms around his waist while you’re on his desk. 

Most of the time he’ll catch you biting his lip and not in the most subtle of ways. He loves biting your lip too. 

He loves wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your hips closer to meet his. 

Even while he’s working he’ll still find the time to kiss you and he’s never one to just peck your lips. 

That man will bring you into a full on make out session if he’s in the mood. 

I'VE SEEN TOO MANY FICS OF LEONA PURRING

LIONS CAN'T PURR

I SKIP EVERY FIC I SEE THAT MENTIONS LEONA PURRING BECAUSE MY NERDY ASS PHYSICALLY CANNOT HANDLE HOW INACCURATE IT IS 😭😭😭

A relaxed pride of lions will display their contentment with a variety of small, happy noises that indicate that all is well in lion-land and that the pride members are getting along. You'll hear little moans and huffing and snorts and a growling-hum that many safari-goers might mistake for purring.

YOU'RE WELCOME

PLEASE STUDY THE ANIMALS REPRESENTING THE BEASTMEN YOU WRITE FOR

PLEASE I AM BEGGING

Please reblog this so other fic writers see it

CanonxOc ships are good high quality ships.

No seriously, you wan to ship your OC with a canon character, do it.

You want to write a fic where your OC, or OCs get with a fictional canon love interest, go for it. You wanna draw fan art of your OC with said canon love interest? Do it! want to post it on the internet, be it a fanfiction site, tumblr or deviantart? yes go for it!

if people act rude to you about it, just ignore them, you’re having fun and it isn’t their business.