Hawk X Tim (1970s)

Hawk x Tim (1970s)

I haven't written a fanfic in such a long time but I can't get the thought of Tim and Hawk out of my head especially this outcome I wish had happened, so excuse the bad writing it's been a while. Also I had written the middle section before everything else so I hope I blended these sections together well.

Summary: What if Hawk had come to his senses after their conversation, he decides he can finally be himself and be with Tim, what he's always wanted even if he couldn't admit it to himself.

"Your family needs you" "Don't you need me, Skippy?" "I have you"

Morning

I sit on the couch in the living room area and soon enough I hear Tim walk down the stairs. "Where is everyone?" He asks "I asked them to leave" "Why?" "Come here, sit down" Tim walks over and sits next to me "I've been up all night thinking, I want to be with you" Tim looks taken aback by my words. "What? Hawk come on now don't mess around" "I'm not Skippy. I've hated these last few years not being able to see you. I've missed you. And I'm ready for us to finally be us" He looks at me almost like he just can't believe what I'm saying. "What about Lucy?" "We'll go tell her about this, she's not happy with me and I'm not happy with her, I never have been, but I've been happy with you, the short time I've had you anyways" Tim shakes his head. "Hawk, are you sure?" I move closer and hold his hand in mine" "I am, I've never been more sure in anything before"

A few days later

I walk into the living room with Tim, Lucy looks at us, not too happy to see I've brought Tim with me. I look at her and say "we need to talk" she nods looking at us both as we sit down, I turn towards her "I know you're not happy, and I know you know about Tim and I, he told me about the letter you found" she goes to speak but I stop her "I think we should separate, you could finally be happy and not trapped in this situation with me. I'm finally ready to be me" I look at Tim as I say these words, Lucy looks at me and says "are you sure? You won't be able to keep your job and what will others think?" I sigh and say "I'm prepared to lose my job, I've thought about this outcome for years, only now is it more acceptable, in some ways, but I would lose it all if it meant I could finally be happy with Tim" she gives a small smile and says "I'm happy you finally feel this this way" I reach for Tim's hand and hold it before looking back at Lucy "I'm going to San Fransisco with Tim, I'll pack what I wish to take and you may do whatever you decide"

And so that's where we are now

Tim seems overwhelmed almost to have me in San Fransisco, not in a bad way but in a way that he can't believe this is real and actually happening. I put my bags down by the front door and follow Tim further into his house, I quickly grab him and pull him into my arms, he melts into my embrace like he always used to "I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and this all be a dream" I pull back and put a hand to his face "I'm sorry Skip, I'm sorry for all those years, if I had known what life would have been like maybe I would have been different, but I had so much self-hatred for how I was feeling and I hate myself for putting you through all that shit" "Shhh" Tim puts a finger to my lips "you're here now. We can work through those years but I'd rather not dwell on the bad things" I nod moving in to kiss him. I've never gotten used to this feeling, the feeling of being so in sync with someone.

End.

Whoever decides to read this I hope you liked it, I feel the ending could be better but I didn't want to ruin it adding more so I left it there.

In this interview, you can see (a couple of times even!) Matt doing the exact same little affectionate, tender smile that Hawk does in the "so you'll remember me" kiss scene in episode 4 of FT.

Also, it looks like Matt is fighting to stay composed, because you can see him swallow hard. The quality of the first gif is a bit crappy but maybe you can see it better here:

FELLOW TRAVELERS + Ron Nyswaner's favorite moments, ❝ when Matt allows Hawk’s fear and vulnerability poke through. ❞

Ep. 1. Hawk sits in a San Francisco diner, observing how the world has changed. Matt’s collaboration with Dan Minahan’s direction and Simon Dennis’s cinematography created one of my favorite moments in the show.

Ep. 3. Hawk realizes Tim is going to die soon. In private, Hawk’s feelings show.

Ep. 4. This sequence is all about unstated feelings. Hawk realizes he won’t see Tim again if he fails the polygraph. He kisses Tim, breathes in his smell, rubs his forehead against Tim’s. Jonathan’s equally brilliant performance of Tim – so open to his emotions and beautifully vulnerable – is the perfect counterpoint.

Ep. 7. The emotion breaks through: My boy is dead.

Ep. 8. The man I loved. Matt gives us Hawk fighting to hide his tears, at first, then lets them fall.

fellow travellers x lana del rey - summertime sadness

I think ill miss you forever

I just can't stop thinking about how if Hawk had come to his senses in the 70s and decided to end things with Lucy and stay with Tim they could have gotten a happy ending 😭

Jonathan Bailey | 2024 Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Beverly Hills, California | March 10, 2024