Getting Hit With The Homoerotic Memories Of Your Vessel Be Like

getting hit with the homoerotic memories of your vessel be like

when you sleep on the couch after an argument 

alhaitham x fem!reader

2.5k words | zhongli + diluc

warnings: hurt/comfort

some would say it was inevitable that alhaithams cold and arrogant personality would catch up to your relationship. how someone as sweet and loving as you could be with someone as robotic and logical as him, people didn’t understand. but it never mattered to either of you what others thought or assumed about your relationship. you knew how you felt and how he felt in return, you didn’t need anything else. 

you also knew that even if what others said did come true, even if you were on the receiving end of cold calculating words and intimidating eyes it wouldn’t sway how you felt about him. and as you stood before him, with unshed tears clinging to your lashes, under the gaze of his indifference to what he said that caused your chest to contract painfully, you know it really didn’t change how you felt about him but that still didn’t prepare you for how much it hurt to hear him talk to you in such a way, how small it would make you feel in comparison to the genius grand scribe. 

he hadn’t yelled, hadn’t used his title to undermine you, he had hardly even blinked when the words came out and pierced your heart with daggers of ice. and yet he may as well have screamed to the whole library around you that you were fighting, that you were beneath him. those feelings wrapped around you, curling around your spine like tight tendrils oozing with black smoke that echo with his hurtful words as he towers over you with folded arms and his usual unbothered expression.

your mouth felt dry, your heart beating to a rhythm that hurt; each deep thump sending an uncomfortable ache throughout your whole body. you didn’t know how to reply, there was clearly nothing you could say that would make him understand where you were coming from right now and with every passing second you were becoming weaker to the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. being this upset you didn’t want to cry in front of him or what felt like the whole akademiya but you couldn’t stand to have him speak to you like this for another minute without breaking down and you hardly had the will to talk back to him.

all you can manage is a choked out and quiet ‘okay’ as you turn away from him and start to head for the door leading out of the house of dena. you don’t make it far before a powerful hand from your ‘feeble’ scholar wraps around your wrist and stops you. it’s gentle enough not to hurt you but still with enough strength that you’re forced to do as he willed even if you didn’t want to.

biting the inside of your cheek, trying your damnedest to not break down and cry right here and now, you look up to meet his eyes but only get a glimpse of his stern features, those seafoam orbs with amber fire, before your vision blurs and wet warmth travels down your cheek. pushing your hand against his, you pull away from his grip and quickly wipe the few tears from your face with the back of your hand before practically running from the house of dena and out the doors of akademiya. you needed to get out of here.. try to calm down and finally catch your breath, not succumb to the suffocating unease sewing between you because if you did you swore you would drown in it.

you don’t hear him following but you don’t dare to look back to check. 

with his sharp eyes and pink lips drawn in a thin line you’d never see through the express he wore that alhaithams heart was dropping into the pit of his stomach, dragging his lungs down with it. the hurt painted all over your face, the shake of your body under his touch and as you pushed him away, the tears you tried so hard to hide from him escaping and cleansing the veil of his arrogance from his eyes.

.. had you looked this hurt the whole time? he had hardly looked up from the book he was working on until his patience snapping, wanting nothing more than silence and for you to not worry, brought him from the pages but even then he hadn’t truly seen you. at least not until you turned away and he reached for you, went to tell you that this discussion was not over but the words died on his tongue quickly because as soon as he saw you, actually saw you and heard not just the words he spewed to prove a point, to be right, he found he could hardly speak at all.

how others felt about his words or tone was hardly of his concern but when it came to you..

you’re suddenly too far away for his liking and he somehow feels like the distance you put between you was not just physical but a distance of the heart as well and he felt it growing vaster with each quick step you took. but by the time his body actually moves to go after you, a few long strides in, his voice returning to call your name, a strong grip on his cloak pulls him back and keeps him in place. 

“let her go,” kaveh voice is as annoyed with the scribe as it always is but there's an air of unusual authority around him at this very moment.

kaveh hadn’t really meant to eavesdrop or step in, it was more that he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time but it was a scene that was hard to look away from and he was full of his own dejection after watching what unfolded before him. he had never heard alhaitham speak to you like that, with cold indifference as the scribe had with many but never you. it had once baffled kaveh to see the scribe being sweet, truly and genuinely loving, towards you but this.. this threw him off even more so.

why did he stop alhaitham though? he chalks it up to being such a sucker for love and well, if he’s being honest, he quite likes what you’ve done to his roommates bad personality. he didn’t need this romantic fledgling only making things worse for himself.

“this doesn’t concern you.” alhaitham can hardly contain the sneer pulling at his lips as he forces himself out of his roommate's grasp and turns back in the direction you ran but you were nowhere to be seen now. he swallows the lump in his throat to try to calm his racing nerves, clenches his fist to keep him grounded, from losing the last bit of rationality because with every erratic pulse through his veins he feels it slipping further and further from him.

he hadn’t known the absence of you could make him so.. frantic.

“maybe not,” kaveh sneers right back. “but did you ever think that when you’re being an insufferable jerk not even y/n would want to be around you? give her some space.”

give you space.. crescent shapes dig their way into his half gloved hands the tighter he clenches his fists thanks to how much he hates that yes it makes sense that he should indeed do just that. you had left to get away from him after all, even if he detests the validity of that truth. but maybe that's what he needed too. yeah, maybe logically.. but he can’t get his heart to agree, not when it’s still sitting like a boulder at the bottom of his stomach, growing heavier by the minute at the remembrance of the hurt in your eyes and the way you ran from him-

he should go after you..

as if kaveh heard his thoughts, which is both absurd and annoying, he attempts to stop alhaitham again. “i’m sure she’ll find her way to the house once she’s ready and then you can attempt to apologize for being such a royal ass.”

it wasn’t until after he had tried to settle back into his book that he actually started to see what happened leading up to this  moment. the way he spoke to you, both his tone and his choice of words, the way your own voice wavered so many times but he still didn’t stop, as if this was some kind of debate with another scholar - and this time he turned out to be the losing fool. how he had made you cry.. the fact that for all he knows you were still crying..

he tries to swallow down the unease, running his hand through his hair, readjusting and trying to find a comfortable position in his chair, rereads the same paragraph over and over because he can’t seem to retain the information with the lingering thoughts of you in his mind but it all does nothing to help quell the storm that uncomfortably knocks against his rib cage and keeps a slight bounce to his leg. 

not a single bit of his work got done from the moment you left. he tried to brush it off like he had so many other arguments with so many others but you were not others and they had never felt like this, never had someone he cares about this much hurting from his words. 

unable to focus on anything but you, he gives up on his book and heads home early but home isn’t much better. 

while you didn’t officially live here, still having your own place in the city, you slept here every night, had drawers that alhaitham cleaned out in his dresser for your things that slowly made their way here or that he had simply bought you so you could have them no matter whose place you were at. little reminders of you lay throughout the whole house and he could hardly take his eyes off of them; your tea cup sitting on the table from when you left this morning while in a hurry, your extra pair of shoes neatly placed at the front door, your favorite fruit resting in the basket on the kitchen counter waiting to be cut up and eaten, your soft blanket and fantasy books near the couch you usually sit at. and though it wasn’t what he normally read, he couldn’t stop himself from opening up one as he waited for you to come home.

but as the sun set and not even kaveh returned, it was as though he saw every calculating chance of how he could make this up to you when you finally did come back, fall to the ground and shatter at his feet. he looks into those shards of possibility, calculating his next strategy, refusing to let them piece themselves into a prospect he didn’t want to see; one where you never called this place your home again. he was left with his head in his hands, staring at the ground beneath his feet and wanting nothing more than to kiss your forehead, remind you how precious you are to him, have your head rest against his chest and remind you that he can be aloof, even cold, but he loves you so much.

they were words he rarely shared but right now he wanted to say them to you more than ever.

he had never actually used the key that you gave him to your place. there was no need when he found you beside him always, but, knowing there is nowhere else you likely are, it now felt like a life line that reeled him into you, guiding him through the dark streets of sumeru until he was standing outside your door, the first few drops of relief finally washing over him at the light coming from your living room window.  

he swiftly unlocks your door and steps inside, headed straight for the room with the light on, where you were bound to be, your name falling from his lips only to be cut off when he finds you on the couch, sleeping as unpeacefully as he’s ever seen you. he feels the regret of not coming earlier bubbling in his stomach but pushes it down because it didn’t matter, he was here now and he was going to make it right.

with quiet steps he takes long strides towards your sleeping figure, feeling somehow better and worse than he had before. to see you, reach out and touch you, delicate touches as he moves stray hairs from your face, revealing to him all the evidence of your tearful state until you had fallen asleep here. by looks of it you hadn’t meant to, with no blanket to keep you warm and the lights still on, in an old shirt he hadn’t known you took from his closet, curled into yourself, a book long forgotten on the tea table.

he hadn’t been able to part from your skin, even when your tired eyes blink slowly, finally seeing who was in front of you and the emotions held behind those lovely blue eyes, emotions he normally didn’t feel or show to anyone.

“h-‘haitham?” 

“habibti,” he replies with such tenderness.

“what’re-”

“you didn’t come home.” 

your chest feels heavy at his words and you hide your face from him, feeling like you might cry at the way he said that, not wanting to say that this was your home too. you knew it was a lie, your apartment hadn’t felt like home for a long time, not when he wasn’t here with you but how you shy away doesn’t stop him from scooping you into his arms, cradling you in his warm and strong embrace. for a moment he just stands there, holding you, his lips on the crown of your head, his nose buried in your hair, his grip around you growing comfortably tighter. you can hear the heavy beating of a heart but in this proximity, when the whole world around you was nothing but alhaitham, you didn’t know if it was his or yours. 

“i love you.”

his words break the silence between you. spoken against your skin, their truth seeping into your very being and down your spine until you are encompassed by it, by him.

you reply in earnest, clinging to him, placing soft and gentle kisses against his collarbone as he carries you to the bedroom you hadn’t slept in for so long, that felt too big without him in it but tonight, you wouldn’t be without him for another moment.

as if you were made of glass he places you into the sheets and follows immediately after you, never letting you get far from his grasp and as you drift back to sleep against his chest, a peaceful one this time around, he whispers his apologies, his promise to do better and more confessions of his unending love for you.

genshin impact masterlist | main masterlist

A FISH OUT OF WATER ┊ MIYA ATSUMU

synopsis: you are his constant in a life shaped by an ever changing element. he wants you. but you are the most oblivious creature he has ever met.

tags: GN reader, merfolk au, merman atsumu, human reader, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, falling in love, courting behaviours, obliviousness, cultural differences, first kisses, getting together

wc: 3.5K

↱ written for the mermay collab hosted by the teahouse server ↲

As a child Atsumu never understood other finfolks fascination with humans, good or bad. Ma was never reluctant to explain, rather, he just didn’t care to ask. There were far more important things to do in the reef. Like hunting shelled crabs, riding the currents, and eating oysters so he could spit pearls at his brother's head until he gave chase.

But three moons before his twelfth birthday, he found you.

Suspended in the water, bubbles dwindling around your frame as the fight bled from your muscles. You sank into a lifeless repose. A human. Small, smaller than him. Thoughts whirring to a stop, his mind blanked, and his tail propelled him forward in a blink.

You were light in his arms at first. Breaching the surface had been the scary part. Worse then, as he needed to drag you up onto the shore where he could be seen. The section of beach close by was secluded. Shielded by large rocks, tide pools formed in the crevices. Atsumu deposited you onto the sand, hissing at the tides that crawled behind and splashed at your chin as if to scold them.

You convulsed and curled in onto yourself like the tiny dumbo octopus that lived in the crevasse near his home. Water spurted from your nose and mouth. It gathered in the corners of your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. Atsumu stared as you wailed and felt his own tumultuous emotions swell dramatically. Restless under his skin was the urge to calm you. To comfort you. But he had never been any good at that kind of thing.

So he reached out to pat your leg. It was covered in clumps of sand. Your shorts and shirt were drenched, and one of your feet had lost a flip flop. Then he repeated what Ma always told him, “Don’t worry, guppy. I’m here”.

That distracted you enough that your attention fell on him. Your immediate petrified screech reverberated harshly in his sensitive ears, both pressed flat to his head as he hissed and squirmed further back into the ocean to escape the sound.

“A—A monster! Get away!”

An odd sense of vulnerability washed over him. Embarrassment, shame, anger. At that moment, Atsumu decided all his assumptions must have been correct. You were clearly a few fish short of a shoal. “M’not a monster,” he’d shouted back, fins flared irritably. “Be grateful I saved yer life, Ugly! Ugly, ugly, ugly!”

Your face scrunched up at the insults, covered in salt water, tears and bile. A dull ache struck against his skull, hard and sudden. You had kicked him in the head and ran away.

Osamu laughed at the mark upon his return. Atsumu endured, kept his mouth shut and resolved never to go back to the surface. Ever! But curiosity still drew him back the next morning. And the next. Every day he checked, you were there, standing awkwardly on the beach and squinting at the horizon. Searching.

Ma’s voice echoed through his thoughts while he hid from view. Atsumu was great at lots of things. Loads better than Osamu. Racing, hunting, splitting shells, tying knots, playing ball. Not so great at making friends. Try to meet ‘em where they’re at, she said. Smile. Be nice. Find what they like and ask about it.

When he finally plucked the courage to make his presence known you’d been back in the tide pools. The ends of your shirt pulled out to hold all the shells you were collecting, heavily weighing on the wet fabric. A few tumbled down as you crouched to pick up a limpet, mouth curling into a pleased grin. Limpets are boring, he thought. And an idea struck.

Diving lower, Atsumu combed through the sand and seaweed until he spotted an iridescent spiral of orange and purple. The snail went helplessly as he clasped it between his webbed fingers, shooting for the rocks. You were still there, filling the silence with a directionless hum.

Atsumu broke the surface quietly. Enough distance between that you could not kick him again. “Hey!” he called, hands thrusted out toward you, head already turned toward his shoulder to brace for another scream. “Got a snail. Wanna see?”

Nothing came. He hadn’t realised how much your acceptance meant to him until then—when you crouched excitedly close by, unheeding of the tide soaking you further, and gasped as he presented the gift. Relief burst in his chest, warm and tingly to the tips of his fins at the careful prodding of your fingers to the creature in his palms; so intense that a wave of luminescence washed through his scales.

“I was looking for you,” you later admitted, voice softened in apology. “Thank you for saving me. I’m sorry I kicked you and called you mean things”.

Atsumu detailed the slight pout to your lips. Knees shifting in the sand. Eyes wide, gleaming hopefully as you waited for his reply. Something fluttered in his stomach the longer you looked at him. Horrified, the longer he looked back, the more it dawned on him that you were not ugly at all.

“Good. So y’should be,” he grumbled, smacking his tail up onto the shore. Heat blotched across his cheeks when you glanced at it in awe. Timid, he added, “…S’fine though. Didn’t hurt”.

Smiling gleefully at that as his gaze darted back and forth, you held out your pinky and promised to always be his friend.

Time elapsed. Seasons passed. No longer a juvenile, his colours started to come into full bloom. Rich gold around his hips and waist, tapering into black toward his large ruffled tail fin. Even his hair lightened as he took to adulthood. After his twentieth birthday the months seemed to come and go faster than he liked. You were his one constant in a life shaped by an ever changing element. Atsumu’s blatant affection for you remained his worst kept secret but none of the finfolk scorned him for it.

Osamu’s steadfast teasing was the only downside. Offhanded or feigning disinterest, he’d always ask, “What d’you keep doing up there?”

Atsumu bounced a hard clam off his brother’s thick skull, “Nothin’. Told’ya a million times, I just like the surface”.

“Uh-huh. Does the ‘surface’ in question happen ta’ have a name and a pulse?”

“You’ll soon have neither if you don’t shut yer trap, ‘Samu!”

Summer comes along and once again, Atsumu decides to remain in the reef. There’s a new den for him in the alcove, carved out from the outcropping of rock with his own hands, right next to a dense forest of kelp. The afternoon sun filters through it in rays as the currents shift, dewy light dancing on the walls.

Two years he has been eligible to migrate and find a mate. This will make it his second absence from the celebrations. Ma never pushed him despite the worry written plain on her face. Osamu only pinned him with a knowing look as he went. It will be the longest they’ve been apart from one another and he doesn’t like it.

Realistically he still could have attended—should have, maybe, lest the other pods find his refusal disrespectful. But Astumu had no compulsion to go. The very idea of leaving you threw his instincts into high gear and he needed to race the currents just to calm the urgency wracking his bones. Because somewhere amidst the years spent with you he became aware of the voice clamoring in the back of his head. One that had been growing in intensity for some time, but hadn't been quite as loud as it was until the elders advised him to take a partner.

You were his mate.

Atsumu had been subconsciously courting you since you were children. Bringing you food and gifts, letting his display scales flash lurid in your presence. He kept guard as you slept on the sand, picked the seaweed and dirt from your hair, swam in synchrony with you when the tides were calm, wrapping your legs around his tail until you become a knot of a person. In hindsight, it was embarrassingly obvious—

Yet you are still blissfully oblivious to it, and that nags at him like nothing else.

Raking claw tipped fingers through his hair, Atsumu paces the length of his den with thoughts of how to be more deliberate in his courtship. Human relationships were complex—purposefully difficult, in some cases. You might respond better if he simply confessed what his intentions were.

You’ve promised to come by the cove as soon as you’re free today. Adulthood came with plenty of changes for you as well as him. You have to work more than he likes. It means less time together; hours spent with other people, any of which could stake their own claim and take you from his reach.

Agitated, Atsumu darts to the surface the instant the sky settles into evening. The sun spreads a blush across the ocean’s surface, tepid but pleasant when it kisses his cheeks. Your distant figure is climbing over the rock formations with careful movements. At first he lingers in the deeper water, submerged below the nose to watch like he used to all those years ago.

“‘Tsumu!” arms high in the air, you wave and bounce on the balls of your feet when you spot him. Lazily, he rides the small wave that floods onto the shelf you are standing on, arms folding on the craggy surface to keep his upper half above water.

There’s a bag over your shoulder. It drops low with the weight it carries. “Look what the tide dragged in,” you let the bag drop, contents half spilling out across the floor. Familiar things. Suncream, bottled water, a change of clothes. Your foot comes to rest atop the worn volleyball as it rolls toward the edge, flinching when he splashes at you in retaliation. “You’re here earlier than usual. Did’ya miss me?”

Atsumu bobs, eyes rolling. “Was too busy making up my new den to think twice about’cha, sunshine,” he cracks a grin. You bat at the hand that threatens to circle around your ankle as you lower yourself to sit on the shelf’s edge, legs swinging over the depths.

“All grown up and living on your own now,” you pat his head in what is intended to be condescension but only ends up conveying fondness for him as your fingernails scratch gently at his scalp. “Proud of you”.

“Stupid,” he mumbles, tipping into the touch without shame as he bobs in the water. Peeking up at you through the hair drying unruly over his eyes his heart sits prominent at the back of his throat. You’re in your swimsuit under your clothes again, he notices. “Ya gonna get in with me today?”

“Planned on it,” you replied coyly. Atsumu inhales deeply. Gills flutter. He feels his fins flare around his hips and smothers the need to hide himself, nudging his cheek to your bare thigh. A beat passes and your smile dims somewhat, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately, ‘Tsumu”.

He rumbles his disapproval. Turning to nose at the skin there, Atsumu loosens his jaw and gently pincers your flesh between his teeth. Just enough to serve as a warning. The muscle and sinew remains relaxed despite it all, entirely sure he wouldn’t hurt you.

A heavy warmth drapes over his being at the heat, blood and beating heart echoing through your veins. “Gross,” you say without malice, flicking his temple at the lave of his tongue over your nonexistent wound.

“Ugly,” he returns, affectionate cadence unrestrained. You temper a smirk, kicking water his way as you tug your t-shirt over your head. Atsumu sinks into the sea’s cool embrace while you undress. Years ago you would have shied away from his blatant staring.

You’re welcoming to the arms that circle your waist as you turn to lower your body into the water. Atsumu doesn’t need to hold you up anymore, not like when you were young and easily drawn into the stronger currents, but he does so regardless. It earns him a soft huff, and a weak protest that is patently for show, but you let him.

A pleased sound vibrates in his throat before he can bite it back. You’re truly the softest thing he has ever laid hands on. Your fingers trail along his biceps, tracing the scales decorating his shoulders. Bioluminescence pulses through them with a shudder and you laugh at him, though not unkindly, “You’re lookin’ a lot brighter lately”.

Your ignorance is a blessing sometimes. Hiding his face in your hair his tail undulates and pushes your entwined bodies back toward the reef. Pride swells as your thighs cinch around his hips. The tides break around you, paving a pathway of foam from the shore to the corals. Below are vibrant formations, each unique and intricate, shelter for shoals of fish darting from the shadows stretching across on the seabed.

“Hey… can I ask you something?”

“Just did,” Atsumu snarks reflexively. You tighten your hold around his neck, leaning back to glare at him. You are about as intimidating as a sea bunny. He hums, “Alright, I’ll bite. What is it?”

Something flits across your features. Hesitance, maybe. Then your anxieties are spilling out into the open, “Why’d you split off from your group? Are they mad at you or something? If it’s because of me—”

Words stutter into a pitched plea for mercy when he pointedly tucks his chin to suck a mouthful of water into his cheeks. You flinch preemptively, throwing your hands up to your face. Atsumu holds a moment longer, pursing his lips as if readying to fire. You push at his chest in a fit of nervous laughter, “Okay, okay! I get it, it’s not my fault—don’t spray me!”

He doesn’t spit it at you. The seawater falls from his lips, trickles over his chin and returns to the tide. “Yer ability to overthink never fails to amaze me,” your breathing hitches as he brings your foreheads together. The flustered look you cast him makes him squeeze tighter, unwilling to let go. “They’ve gone to the mating grounds, that’s all. Figured it was as good’a time as any to find my own territory”.

You pause, a crease forming between your brows. “The mating grounds? You’ve never mentioned that before”.

Atsumu shrugs. The movement ripples out around you in broad rings. “Never needed to,” he says. “Wasn't important. M’here, aren’t I?”

“Why?” the pressure from your thighs lessens, just a fraction, but he’s already scrambling to cup the back of your knees and keep them there. You freeze. Scrutinising any minute change to his expression, eyes bright and flickering. Atsumu avoids your gaze with his inner cheek between his teeth. Slow, a smirk pulls at your lips. “Don’t tell me you’ve got no suitors”.

Atsumu chitters, displeased. You shouldn’t find the idea amusing. He wants you to hate it. Sulking, he says, “Glad ya think that’s funny”.

Your face falls, then. And you are seeking the strong grip he had on you before, clutching at his shoulders. Your hands slide carefully up the column of his neck, featherlight over his gills. A shiver breaks out across his skin as you take his face into your hands. “Hey, no. I didn’t mean—” you stop to sound a frustrated groan. “I didn’t mean it like that, ‘Tsumu. I just—I thought you were joking. Why wouldn’t a mer like you have everybody vying for your attention?”

His mouth shapes around a small ‘o’. Then it draws wide, crooked and teasing. “A mer like me, eh?” he echoes, slipping back from your grasp to circle you in the water as a thrilling static buzzed under his skin. Need grips him and hems his scales, saturating them with rich gold hues. “Like what?”

“Stop fishing for compliments, loser. You know,” you struggle to tread water and spin to track his circular motions, pushing a vindictive wave of water at him. “You’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen”.

The glow from his display is bleeding into the blue-green waters and attracting the attention of the reef dwellers but he’s too pleased to be mortified. He halts his stalking, crowding into your arms, “Y’think I’m—?!”

Your fingers thread into his hair. With all your might you dunk him under, cutting his sentence short as a wave rushes to fill the space in his open mouth. He laughs through the descent of your body, the force having pushed him low enough that he is facing your bare stomach. Remaining there, even as you relinquish your grip.

Other finfolk never really commented on his colouring. They hadn’t attempted to initiate courtship, either, not with his priorities elsewhere. You have praised his scales before but this feels different. In the context of being wanted—desired as a partner. Maybe it’s just pretty words. But you would not have submerged him in a fit of embarrassment if there weren’t some truth in it.

Fins vibrating eagerly, small trails of bubbles rise to the surface. You're patting at his arms now, worried why he won’t come up, expression distorted by the water. He sinks forward, face pressing up against your midriff. Your abdomen immediately clenches. Nails dig into the curve of his shoulder as he mouths at your sternum. Arms rise to wrap around your waist and your knees flank his ribs, squeezing tight.

A mer’s senses are that much sharper here. He feels your stuttered breath, hears your heartbeat quicken, smells the beginnings of arousal. It tastes like victory, overwhelming all rational thought. Head to tailfin his instincts are begging to drag you to his den and fuck you to sleep.

But he can’t. Not yet, and not the way he wants to.

Pushing into a soft, resting stomach, Atsumu takes a breath, shakes himself from his reverie and blows hard against the skin. You immediately convulse, trying to squirm out of his grasp. Overhead, your sweet laughter; muffled by the white noise around him but just as euphonious.

You’re panting when he finally resurfaces, your head tilted to keep your chin above water. The tide must be coming in. He supports you against his chest, making you a few inches taller. “You dickhead. Fishbrains,” you chide breathlessly, betrayed by the fond look in your eye. “Shit. Don’t do that again”.

“Mean. What happened to gorgeous?” Atsumu’s pout trembles, struggling to keep his amusement at bay.

“I'll take it back!”

“No take backsies,” he croons, nuzzling at your jawline. Dangerous. “Glad ya think I’m hot and all but that’s not the only part of courting. Like, proving yer able to take care of them. Hunting an’ preparing food. Presenting gifts. Helping them groom. Keeping guard. S’why it takes the whole summer”.

As he speaks a slither of dread settles heavy in his gut. The memories practically flit across your face, visibly connecting the dots. “But you’ve always done those things—” your voice loses strength, mouth opening and closing a few times before finishing, “for me…?”

The sky is bruised. Clouds have gathered by the cliffs, and the sun is almost tucked beneath the horizon, casting a final burst of orange across the glittering ocean’s surface. His display dims. “Yea’,” he clears his throat, summoning a playful tone, “Real sharp, angel. I sure know how to pick ‘em”.

Any confidence he had slips between his fingers like dry sand the longer the silence draws between you. A sad note catches in his throat. His gills twitch as he waits with bated breath. Warm, soft hands come to cradle his face. Your thumb sweeps gently back and forth beneath his eye.

You don’t laugh. You don’t even splash at him. Rather, reverently, you say “…‘Tsumu”.

He peers up to meet your gaze. Softened by dusk, you are watching him through lidded eyes, crinkled at the corners. A sharp sensation frissons up his spine. You tilt his chin, bringing him into a chaste kiss. Atsumu shudders, hands pawing desperately at your hips. You pull back a hair’s breadth only to kiss him again, full lips sliding together, a more deliberate press that grows fervent at the cautious lick of his tongue.

When you seek air with a sharp inhale your eyes flutter closed for a moment. Atsumu doesn’t bother to dull his purr, nor the soft flow emitting from his tail, forming a golden ring of light around your entangled bodies. Mirthfully, you murmur, “I can’t believe it. You like me”.

It feels right; like finally letting himself have everything he’s ever wanted.

He laughs quietly, tucking a kiss beneath your ear, “Somethin’ like that”.

please watch trigun 98

Still hungy... (vwv)

Midnight Piano Interlude in D Minor, Op. 1

Summary: Growing pains don’t go away the moment you reach adulthood, instead it goes by a different name: Regret. 

Word Count: 17.9k ( I have a problem, no I cannot fix it)

Tags: Alhaitham x Fem!Reader, Pianist!Reader, Aspiring musician!Reader, Slow burn, Slow fic (look at the word count), Heavy Angst, Smut, NSFW, Modern AU, Childhood Friends AU, Childhood friends to lovers, friends with benefits to lovers, a lot of memories from the past, Fluff, Second chance romance, TW: Character death (Alhaitham’s grandma), TW: Themes about regret and low self-confidence, Heavy adult themes, gifted kid burn-out, toxic family, unhappy childhood, unhealthy relationship dynamics, unhealthy coping mechanisms, Service top! Alhaitham, mutual pining? kinda, unrequited love? sorta, slightly obsessive!Alhaitham, Soft!Alhaitham, Alhaitham is not faultless his current views have been formed through trial and painful error. 

Authors Note: This is very experimental. I almost didn’t want to post it, but I just believe even the most stoic person isn’t without their past mistakes and regrets. Alhaitham doesn’t understand most forms of art… but he does value music. Enjoy. 

Keep reading