Well. It Happened. Two Dreams Where I Was Beetlejuice, Two Nights In A Row. That Was Phenomenal!

Well. It happened. Two dreams where I was Beetlejuice, two nights in a row. That was phenomenal!

Oohhhhh my god almost finished with the next chapter. I’m listening to “You’re In Love” from Howl’s Moving Castle for the last scene. I AM SO PUMPED!!!

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AWWWHAAAA THANK YOU ANOTHER ONE?? IM STILL COMPILING PEOPLE TO SEND THE FIRST ONE TO!! THANK YOU SO MUCH

On a scale of 1 to 10, how mind-blowing would it be to y’all to learn that I have a non-typical American accent?

Working on one of my Murdle books and watching one of my comfort movies, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” to try to chillax before my wisdom tooth surgery…

See y’all on the other side! I’ll have plenty of free time while recovering to write, but probably won’t have the mental bandwidth to do it unfortunately

Chapter six of Time’s Arrow, “I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long // You are my sweetest downfall” is here, just in time for my wisdom tooth surgery! Hope y’all are hungry! Especially you, Beetlands fans.

Please read the warnings carefully and proceed with caution. This chapter is pretty rough.

As always, extras!

- The lyrics for this chapter’s title are from “No Children” by The Mountain Goats and “Samson” by Regina Spektor, for the very different vibes happening throughout it! The first bit reflects how Beetlejuice was relying on pain to distract him from his Feelings, the second is him admitting that the Maitlands are his “downfall”. Also both songs slap so hard.

- “Charles insisted on moving his chair to sit close by, “in case you fall”. (Why would he care if Beetlejuice fell?)” - Get absolutely fathered, idiot.

- “They’d pointed out their own star not too long after they’d all settled down, and found they couldn’t take their eyes off of it. Was it really tied to them? Would it go out if they did? Would they go out if it did? They didn’t really have answers. They weren’t educated on all the ins and outs of demon-.. hood. Their mother didn’t quite care to find the time to teach them, and they didn’t care to learn.” - Wow. Interesting stuff to think about!

- “Mhm. Blood ritual. Carve a bunch of markings in the ground, sacrifice an innocent. Sign your name in… the Big Book. Then spill your own blood.” - Yep! There’s one big, all important “Big Book” that has the name of every demon in it. Juno (that’s not her original name in this fic) killed one of her living children as a sacrifice, and then slit her own throat. Fun!

- “.. there is. You get an invite, and you give something up.” - Very interesting. Also brought back up later in the chapter!

- “… “flying dragon” orange sapling pots.” - “Flying dragon” oranges are the most cold-hardy orange trees, according to google!

- “ “I would also like to apologize for what happened to your mother,” Charles says firmly, glancing meaningfully at Lydia. (Beetlejuice follows his gaze to find her and the Maitlands all lightly shaking their heads at the man.)” - THEY TRIED TO WARN HIM

- “Charles is kneeling beside him, face scrunched up with that same look he’s given him so many times before. He knows it’s concern, from seeing it on the other humans, but why would Charles be making it at him?” - PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE BEING FATHERED.

- “Your favorite movie is “Pride and Prejudice”. The 2005 version only, you think the 1995 adaptation didn’t do it justice. You went to Cornell University to study business, and met Lydia’s mom there. Your favorite flowers are red carnations.” - Emily showed him that movie, since she was an English major, and he cried the first time he saw it. He hasn’t watched it since her death. Red carnations mean “my heart aches for you”!

- “Your bisexual awakening was Ms. Honey from “Matilda”. You love ‘true crime’, but you can’t stomach most bloody movies. Except for “Alien” and “Aliens”, ‘cause you like watching Sigourney Weaver kick ass. Adam’s lived with you since you were both 16, but you two didn’t start dating until you were 19.” - Surprise, Barb is bisexual! Who wouldn’t fall for Ms. Honey, honestly? I like to think she admired her extreme kindness and somewhat tried to follow her example. Also Sigorney Weaver is literally my wife, if you care.

- “You’ve seen “The Terminator” 137 times. Your favorite of those weird little monsters is the big blue one called ‘Lapras’. You had a dog when you were real little named ‘Sawyer’, and it’s in your top 5 for baby names because you loved that dog. You couldn’t get another after he passed away because your mom’s boyfriend was allergic to dogs.” - Beej may not know what is being said, but he loves to listen! Also I wonder if readers should store the name ‘Sawyer’ in their memory for later.

- Adam’s talk with Beej - AUGH. Where do I even start? Someone finally explains to our little demon what love is actually about. And the first hint at… gasp! Self love?! Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

- “They feel.. the same way I feel about them. Why? How? … They’ll be here for me until I get better. If… if I ever get better. … I.. need to get better? … Something’s wrong with me. They all know it. (They’ve always known. Everyone can see it.) But what? Will it ever get better? Will they still be waiting for me if I do?” - ARRRRGH… the realization that something is Wrong with you, but you don’t know how to fix it or if it can be fixed, and that those who love you can see it my beloathed… not entirely true, but true in Beej’s mind!

- “The demon clacks his teeth repeatedly, stomping a hoof on the ground firmly once. “This is bullshit.” ” - He stomps his hooves when he’s mad sometimes, like a rabbit. Or a ram preparing to charge.

- “Beetlejuice used one napkin to soak up some of the egg yolk from his plate, quickly shoving it in his mouth before either of the humans have time to notice and protest.” - just wanted to highlight this particularly feral moment.

- “ “Yeah. Sorry, Babs. My bad. My memory is… worse than a goldfish.” “Goldfish’s memory isn’t even that bad. You’re just uniquely forgetful.” ” - goldfish don’t have bad memories!! Stop spreading the falsehood pretty please

- “The demon bared his teeth at her, a gesture which she immediately returned. He was still huffing…” - he also huffs when he’s mad, like a cat does!

- “ “Just… try to be mindful of when important things happen with the business and you, alright? Keep us in the know.” The demon slowly nodded, shifting in his seat. “.. I promise I’ll try.” ” - I think most neurodivergent people have experienced this. The best we can do is try!

- Barbara talking about seeing the doctor - a continuation of the Neurodivergent Experience, and also a reference to a similar scene in Stephen King’s “Laurie”. Because that story fuckin’ rocks.

- “Ash’s hair has been properly bleached and cut into a choppy bob.” - Chloe Price-esque cut, since she’s one of the characters who inspired Ash!

- “Beetlejuice’s has been trimmed back to the length it was after the loop, no longer shaggy and falling into his eyes. The grey is missing completely, the brown pronounced and obviously artificial, if one stares at it too long.” - Yep, his hair has been growing out at an exponential rate since they escaped the loop! So has his fur. I wonder if that will be an issue later.

- “ “Thank you. What have you done to my brother?” “Just gussied him up a little for tonight. And showed him the first three and a half “Saw” movies.” The demon was purring loudly, repeatedly shifting his feet. “Someone’s currently getting scalped.” ” - “SAW” MY BELOVED!!! I got Sawtism. So does Ash. She is doing her best to pass it on to Beetlejuice. He doesn’t really get the storyline, but he likes the blood.

- “ “And… wow. You cut, like… a whole foot off. That’s.. crazy.” Lydia went to fidget with their own hair, ignoring Beetlejuice’s interjection of “so did Larry!”. ” - This likely won’t be relevant, but Beej was present when Polaris cut their hair to the length it is now. A little hint to their past together!

- “ Beetlejuice let out a little groan then. “Oh. Okay. I get it now.” “.. get what?” He patted his sister’s arm sympathetically. “You’ll figure it out soon.” ” - he gets it. He sees it from the other side.

- “ “Oh, Ash, c’mon, you didn’t have to get me anything!” Lydia called after the other teen as she bolted to the back room. “Yeah, but I wanted to!” ” - My own response whenever people say “you didn’t have to”. Yeah, I didn’t, but I wanted to!

- “Beetlejuice waits patiently as Ash presents Lydia with some sort of strange, old camera. Something with the word “Polaroid”.” - Ash used the absurd amount of money Beej has been paying them to get Lydia a nice camera! Beej doesn’t know what it is, and I don’t have the energy to research the proper name for it.

- “ “Hello!” Barbara chirped, repeatedly patting her husband’s arm out of excitement. Beetlejuice let out a weary sort of sigh in the silence that followed. Guess we’ll do it the hard way. … The demon was very careful as they gripped the teen’s arm and bit down on their wrist. Ash yelped as their teeth broke skin, yanking their arm away and holding it close to their chest.” - The bite gave them the ability to see the paranormal! They weren’t gifted like Lydia, so they had to be given that gift. Also, WAS THAT THE BITE O-

- “Ash gripped at her wrist, letting out a little growl of frustration. “What the fuck, man?! Why does it sting so bad?” ” - because they’re venomous!

- “ “… Hope ya got your rabies vaccine, Ash!” Ash blanched, hesitantly allowing Barbara to inspect her wrist. “What?” “Kidding! I don’t have rabies anymore.” ” - Not anymore!

- “… he sees his shaky hands playing rounds of “Mario Party” with all of the humans.” - Beetlejuice sucks at “Mario Party”. They main Bowser, like they do in “Mario Kart”. Lydia mains Shy Guy.

- Isopropyl alcohol - partially based on a scene from “Moral Orel”. Do not watch that show. ALSO, DON’T DRINK ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL!!

- “His voice comes out slow and difficult when he thanks Delia for wiping the frosting off his face.” - GET PROPERLY MOTHERED

- “Lydia opens her presents. Beetlejuice struggles to keep track of them. Some sort of framed… butterfly? No, moth. A framed moth from Delia. … A “forest exploration kit” from Barbara. An old book Beetlejuice had kept in his hammer space, which he recently was told was an original print of “Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque”. ” - The moth is a framed, taxidermied Death Head moth! The “exploration kit” is basically just survival/camping stuff. Yeah Beetlejuice had a $100K book in his hammer space.

- “Why is Adam so far from him? He feels some sort of strange, dour sorrow when the ghost sits on the ground rather than next to him, like he and Barbara usually do. His wife sits next to him.” - I wonder if this has anything to do with alcohol related trauma?

- “They watch Lydia’s favorite movie, “Coraline”. Beetlejuice’s head is spinning. “You know that I love you.” He feels sick. “You.. have a really funny way of showing it.” His ears are ringing. It’s deafening.” - He’s watching it for Lydia, but this movie is unfortunately still very triggering for Beetlejuice.

- “ “Yeah. Last month.” He allows the minuscule illusion to slip. “What did you-” Lydia lets out a little gasp, leaning forward closer to the demon. “What happened to your ear?!” Beetlejuice tilts his head so she can better see his right ear. “Had to give up a piece of myself to make up this one. Hurt like a bitch, but it was worth it.” His hands shook horribly as he slowly sliced through the rest of his ear from the notch. Sobs wracked through his body, and he swore he could smell tobacco and brandy. He swore he could hear his mother screaming. But it was worth it for Lydia.” - YEAH CUTTING OFF PART OF THEIR EAR CAUSED A BAD PTSD EPISODE.

- “Beetlejuice carefully thumbed through the Book, past all of the names already written in it. To the page reserved for his coven. For Lydia.” - Hmmm! I wonder what that’s about?

- “He holds it close to his chest, careful not to let it drip onto his… when did he put on pajamas? When the fuck did he get Hello Kitty pajamas? He squinted at Lydia. They were matching? He vaguely recognized the gothic little creature on her pajama pants.” - Ash bought them matching Hello Kitty and Kuromi pajamas, because it’s funny.

- “The room is dim, except for the faint glow of Lydia’s TV. She and Ash had fallen asleep mid-way through some sort of ghost hunting show marathon, bundled up in blankets. They were sat up close together, only held up by each other.” - they fell asleep watching “Buzzfeed Unsolved”.

- “ “I.. I’ll wait for you in the hall. Give you some privacy.” Beetlejuice opened his mouth to ask what she meant, briefly, but shut it again after a few moments in favor of softly thanking her.” - Beetlejuice has no idea why someone would bother to give them privacy.

- “ “Hey, Larry! Long time no see!” They chirped cheerfully. “… Betelgeuse.” They growled, voice low and flat. “You continue to exist.” ” - Based on a scene in “Ready or Not”, one of the funniest horror movies ever.

- “They had not changed in the centuries since they’d seen each other, it seemed. White, fuzzy bear-like ears poked out of their pale, neatly slicked-back hair. A pair of short, plain black horns adorned with a multitude of variously colored rings. Clinical red eyes glaring down at him through a pair of rounded silver glasses, pale brows furrowed and their lip curled in a constant look of neutral displeasure. Their white fur coat, draped over their hulking stature.” - Say hello to Polaris! They are 6’5”. They have albinism, and the features of a polar bear, because their star is from Ursa Minor! Also they have mountain goat horns.

- “Polaris crossed their arms just below sight from the mirror. “I see. Give me a moment.” Beetlejuice shifted his hooves nervously as their aloof crimson gaze scanned his form. “Hmm. Still a clumsy oaf, I see.” They reached up to adjust their glasses.” - Polaris is extremely skilled in healing and such. Yes, they were able to assess what was wrong with Beetlejuice just by looking at them.

- “ “… Pieces of bone lodged in both lungs-” “That happened while I was stuck in a time loop, shouldn’t that have healed?” Polaris let out a growl, much deeper and intimidating than Beetlejuice’s own. “Don’t interrupt me. And no, it doesn’t work like that. Any damage your body sustains in a time loop carries over. Obviously.” “… damn. Like “Happy Death Day”. That explains why my throat still burns sometimes.” ” - YEAH SURPRISE. The damage from the holy water all those times carries over! So did everything else!

- “ “Many little bruises and cuts from… Sirius, it seems. Really now, Betelgeuse, did you not learn your lesson before?” They spoke again before he could hiss at them not to say his name.” - Cyrus’ real name reveal! Not that it was too much of a secret, hehe.

- “ “… That would take me all day, little prince.” Beetlejuice let out an involuntary snarl, stomping a hoof down on the tile floor once. They caught a hint of bright red in their dim reflection. “Don’t fuckin’ call me that.” ” - I wonder what this is about?

- “Polaris flashed him that flat, irritating false smile. They had never properly learned to smile, like Beetlejuice himself, but theirs always seemed more like a grimace. (They were a pair, once. Just briefly. The little demons with big teeth, odd smiles, and poor grasps on any and all social cues, breather or demon. But that was so long ago.)” - They are both extremely autistic, and neither knows how to “smile properly”. They were friends when they were very small, but they had a falling out.

- “I didn’t call you to lecture me, you fuckin’.. Judge Holden lookin’-ass bitch!” - Judge Holden is the main antagonist of “Blood Meridian”, a book I have read quite a few times! He has albinism, like Polaris. DO NOT LOOK HIM UP. PLEASE.

- “ “There. Quite the weight off your chest, no?” Polaris frowned, tapping a finger on their chin. “No, that won’t do at all. I already made that joke after your top surgery, didn’t I?” ” - Polaris did Beetlejuice’s top surgery!

- “ “Th-… thank you, Polaris. That.. I feel much better.” They blinked at him, slightly tilting their head. “Yes, I imagine that’s why you called upon me. To feel better.” They then narrowed their eyes. “Don’t think I’ll do anything else for free just because you thanked me, Betelgeuse. I’m not as soft as you. I just cleared your lungs for free because you amused me.” ” - they do not understand the concept of genuine gratitude.

- “Beetlejuice was.. already feeling better than they had in so long. “.. what will it cost me for you to fix the rest?” But they already knew the answer. “Oh, you know that already, little prince. It’s the same as it has always been.” Polaris grins at him again, curling back their black lips in an offputting manic sort of half-smile, half-grimace. “The cost to remove the Seal that binds you and cure all your ailments is, of course, your most valuable skill: your ability to lie.” Beetlejuice crossed his arms over his chest, gripping at his left forearm. “.. you know I won’t agree to that.” “Of course not. What is the serpent without his silver tongue?” Shame and anger bubbles up in Beetlejuice’s gut. He grits his teeth and sighs. They’re right. You’re nothing but a lying snake. ” - HMMM. I wonder if readers should save this information away for later!!

- “ “If we have no further business, then I will take my leave.” They lifted one gloved hand, presumably to sever the connection, but paused. “.. perhaps consider getting a mobility aid for that leg, Beetlejuice.” Their voice took on an odd sort of wistful twinge. “A cane would suffice, for when it starts to give out on you.” Beetlejuice nodded, giving a half-hearted little smile. “.. thanks, Larry.” ” - Just a little hint at the friendship they used to have many, MANY years ago. A part of Polaris is still strangely fond of Beej.

- “ “About as hard to watch as “Exorcist II: The Heretic”, man.” “… fuck. That bad?” “Maybe even worse.” ” - That movie is one of the worst movies ever. I am not kidding. Watch it if you want to be aware of time passing and death marching closer.

- “ “Aren’t you already dating that… ‘Cyrus’ guy?” “Yeah. ‘M polyamorous, though.” “Oh. Slay.” The demon lifted his head to squint at the teen. ‘Slay’? Before he could ask what the fuck that meant, they spoke again. ” - Beetlejuice has never heard most ridiculous teenage lingo.

- “… god. For a complete doofus, you can be super.. sappy and poetic sometimes. It’s offputting.” - based on something said to me!

- “Lydia caught sight of enormous grey paws under their long skirts, hearing the clicking of their claws on the wooden floor with each step. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, their mind whispered. But that was silly, wasn’t it? Beetlejuice trusted this demon.” - Lydia sees right through Cyrus’ thematic bullshit.

- “His cheeks were still a bright red, the place where Cyrus had placed his lips even having a light tinge of blue to it.” - He got a little bit of frostbite from that kiss.

- “Ash was there as well, sitting on the counter, showing the demon something on her phone that caused them to laugh.” - it was this video.

- “Her green eyes caught the afternoon sun in a beautiful way, reflecting back a golden- fuck, now is not the time for that.” - Lydia’s got her priorities straight! (Well, not straight.) Brothers first, beautiful women second.

- “ “You can’t stand turtlenecks. They’re a sensory hell for you. Why’re you wearing one now?” He’d shook like a chihuahua when Barbara had insisted he try one on in the past. There was no way in hell he’d wear one of his own free will out of the blue. ” - based on my own personal experience with turtlenecks. Why are they literally the worst thing ever?

- “Nearly all of the skin of their neck was bruised a dark purple and blue, from their collarbone nearly to their chin. Just below their Adam’s apple was a line of crudely done stitches holding together what seemed to be a complete decapitation wound.” “Lightly decapitated! My head didn’t come all the way off!” - Yeouch. Just wanted to put all these details together for posterity.

- “ Lydia growled, going to dig through her backpack for her notebook. “No one lays their fuckin’ hands on my brother and gets away with it.” Ash hopped down from the counter and followed her, nodding in agreement. “I’ll get my bat.” ” - Lydia is ready to exorcize a bitch. Ash is ready to bash his fuckin’ kneecaps in.

- “ “I don’t need attack dogs right now, alright? I just…” he hesitated, suddenly looking ashamed. He slumped down into the stool set up behind him. “I want.. someone to be.. here for me.” ” - Sometimes, you don’t need people piling hate on someone who hurt you. You just need them to comfort you.

- “Lydia gently patted his back, speaking to him in as soft a voice as she could muster. “It’ll be alright”, “I’m here”, “You’ll be okay”. She felt the collar of her dress become damp with tears, but she didn’t mind.” - IS THIS FAMILIAR? DOES THIS PARALLEL A SCENE IN TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE?

- “Lydia feels a soft little smile tugging at her lips as Ash goes on, making plans for what snacks to bring and what creeks to look for rocks in. Beetlejuice chimes in, voice still a little hoarse, suggesting his favorite fallen oak tree for bug hunting. She’s struck with how kind she is, in her own way. How she treats her strange monster of a brother with prickly compassion. She feels a strange little fluttering in her chest.” - 👀

- “.. he and Ash had a stick duel that devolved into an impromptu friendly knife fight,” - Based on a scene in “Night in the Woods”!

- “As Beetlejuice gloated and stuck his tongue out at Ash from a branch a good ten feet above hers, his tail securely holding him up, he felt on top of the world.” - PREHENSILE TAIL USAGE!!

- “He didn’t hit his head that bad, he just needed a moment for the color to return to his vision. Had Ash always had four pairs of eyes?” - Sometimes if you hit your head in just the right place, you temporarily (or permanently, if you’re unlucky) lose the ability to see color. Yes I know this from experience.

- “ He shrugged his shoulders when his daughter asked if the other teen could stay the night. “… I suppose, if her parents are alright with that.” Ash waved their hand and scoffed. “They don’t care. They’re in Massachusetts.” The man frowned, exchanging a brief glance with Lydia. “.. I see. Stay as long as you like, Ms. Swallows.” ” - Charles decided right here that Ash was also his child now too. Father of three!

- “While Lydia and Ash went up to play some sort of… dragon killing game, Beetlejuice decided to retire early to his room.” - Poor guy has no idea what “Skyrim” is.

- “Inside were two little drop earrings with a singular gemstone in each, one a soft, sunshine yellow, the other a gentle, opaque jade.” … “Demons exchange jewelry when they’re courting each other, right?” … “We borrowed some books from Lydia. Read up on demon culture. You weren’t getting the signals the human way, so we decided to try the demon way.” - I JUST. I KNOW I WROTE THIS BUT IT GETS ME, OKAY? THEY PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT FOR HIM

- “ “… oh!” Finally, a connection. “Oh, yeah, totally, I’m down. You can use me for whatever, don’t even gotta ask permission.” They smirked, feeling a few teeth poking out between their lips. “Bondage, choking, couple bonding over my degradation, knife play, I am down for whatever to spice up your-” Barbara and Adam’s faces both became dark shades of red. Ah. I didn’t connect shit. ” - Both a reference to a “Buzzfeed Unsolved” meme and also highlighting the sad way that Beej sees himself as something to be used by others.

- “They finally forced themself to look down at her, a few rouge tears slipping down their cheeks. Her cobalt eyes were filled to the brim with… love. Care. That same Feeling. Beetlejuice quickly turned their head to find that Adam was the same, his beautiful brown eyes staring up at them the same as Barbara’s.” - WE GOT IT!! IT FINALLY CLICKED EVERYONE!!!!

- “ “… may we kiss you?” Barbara asked in a low, soft voice. Yes. Yes. Yes. Holy fuck, YES. “… Beetlejuice?” “Huh? D-did I say yes?” “You didn’t say anything, sweetheart.” “Oh. I meant yes, b-but my mouth didn’t… speak.” ” - YOU ARE NEVER SAFE FROM AN “Asteroid City” REFERENCE.

- “They didn’t get to finish their sentence. Barbara was cupping their face and pressing her lips against theirs before they knew it. It was electrifying. It was divine. She was warm and soft and perfect and- It was over before they knew it, before they could reciprocate. And before they could stammer out any more foolish false starts to a sentence, Adam was holding their face and kissing them gently.” - WE DID IT BOYS. 88,494 WORDS AND THEY FINALLY KISSED.