Drifting

drifting

i want to tell you. i want to scream at you, shake your shoulders and explain why i am like this. i want you to understand why i feel this way but then i look up to your eyes and suddenly a rope is tied around my throat and i can’t speak. my hand begins to shake so i hide them behind my back and i drop my eyes to the ground because if i continue looking at you i might cry and i don’t want to break in front of you. i really don’t. i want to be as strong as you are, but my bones are made out of paper that are easily crumpled while yours are never bending iron. my heart races and i know you’re about to tell me something to encourage me, but i can’t hear it. i can’t tell you because it’s all in my head and i’m terrified of letting you in and finally seeing me through my eyes. i still want to be the happy girl you think i am because i don’t want to be a burden. so i swallow my breath and smile. because even though im not fine i still have you and somehow that makes it worth it. because in a world where my mind is slowly crumbling and where my thoughts are the only things keeping me up at night i wouldn’t know how to handle if you put any space between us. just the same way a boat would float away purposelessly if the rope tying it to the deck cuts lose. the boat would just drift away and i don’t want us to stop

Don’t break a writer. She’ll bleed through the ink in her pen, the words in her mind, the tears on her pillow, The bitterness of her coffee, The blankness with which She looks at the horizon. She’ll make you her Masterpiece, when All you deserve is the endless Torment you gave her.

That’s how she copes//day 10 (via vardhanaaaa)

i. a slytherin girl with her mind and heart made up just as impenetrably as her bulletproof walk. badass, confident and easy to trust. head high, thoughts sorted and a smile full of life. she teaches you to not take shit from anyone of anything. she teaches you that when someone is out of your life, they’re out and that’s it. you don’t need them if they don’t need you. adjusts herself easily and she knows the right things to say to the right people. ambitious and forward-going. she only has her heart put out for a few people, but she lets them know it, deeply. she thinks she’s the night sky, but she’s the sun. and what the heck, she’s all the stars too. she teaches you how to let go easily and the simple fact that life goes on. ii. another slytherin girl with eyes of tender frozen, yet green and warm flashlights. you’ll remember her teasing jokes and determined, strong-willed mind. she teaches you how to close the curtains of your emotions and just keep pushing when you need to. she’s funny without even trying or feeling the need to try. she says she’s cold and unsympathetic, but funnily enough she’s too busy caring about her friends than the rest of the world that she doesn’t even know. she belongs to the stars and you know she can’t stay. she needs to go catch the rest of her constellations. iii. a boy with the sun in his soul. you’ll remember his authentic facial expressions long after you last saw him. he will teach you how to not take life too seriously and it will last like permanent reminder. his contagious laugh stays in your head, especially during extraneous gloom. extroverted, adorkable, a rush of pure energy and the sweetest feathery tornado you’ll meet. he’s a watercolor filter over liveliness and the smile that lights up the entire room. you’ll never forget the impression he made on you. iv. he’s the combination of soft clouds and unbreakable winds. he’s not meant to stay and you know it from the start, but you will have a tough time accepting it. he’s mysteriousness and filled with moon rays. you’ll never quite understand him and maybe that’s what makes him so interesting. he is the winter making you feel warm. a layer of peace and tranquility spreading wherever he goes. he’s the original reminder that everything will be okay. he touches your soul in small mesmerizing ways, even one time a romantic way. gives more than he takes and understands without even asking. v. a summery girl you never understood and maybe that’s how it was meant to be. eyes like deep almond and hair like sand waves. you’ll never know if she liked you or not, but you really tried to get her to. she’s smart in ferocious streams of calmness. she’s gentle laughs on the beach with her best friend and ice cream cones in the middle of july. she teaches you maturity without you or her even knowing. she might not be the most memorable to you, but when you think about her you always regret not being her friend. and she’s probably the moon and the sun at the same time. vi. a hufflepuff boy who is a blend of the sun and the wind. easy to talk to, always there to talk to you. loves his girl unconditionally and without any second guesses. he never just gets to know you, he gets to know the real you. goofy like a childhood memory and naturally happy without a doubt. a bit flaky, a bit messy but everyone knows that’s his charm. you know from the very first time you meet him that his heart will remain in the right place forever. vii. she’s the glue that holds your girl clique together and everyone knows it. she doesn’t look at you, she inhales you and tries to understand every bit of you. quirky and smart in a delicate way. when you think of her you think of golden, people laughing in a high-quality restaurant, champagne popping and the hot sun on the pavement on a dreamlike vacation. she just doesn’t make sure that she understands her friends, but that her friends understand each other. when you think of her, you know she’ll stay in your life forever, because she wouldn’t let anything other than that happen. viii. she’s the sweet smirk on a tiresome afternoon. she’s kindness blooming everywhere she goes. she nods her head in sincere empathy when someone is pouring out their thoughts. she is the rain on a sunny sunday. you’ll remember her patience, understanding, her support and her smile. greeting you with open arms and a floppy cute wave. and when things can’t get worse, she’s there reminding you that they won’t. she’s the tiny spark, you would never dare to forget.

tina jaxén // people from school i can’t help but miss (via tinaspoetry)

Shrewd Slytherin

We are Slytherin. We are green and silver. We are the crushing of the waves. We are shadows and currents.

We are the calm before a storm and suggestive smirks in class. We are the legends that linger forever. Sometimes our tounges are sharper than our knives. Sometimes our smiles are more cruel than our revenge. Our condolences. We are the heroes that lived too long. We are the Kings and Queens of Kings and Queens. And heavy weighs the crown. We are the moon in the sky and the snow on the ground. We are the ballet dancers that rock. We are the northern lights in the polar night. We are beautiful and sharp and crystal clear.

And breakable.

We embrace our shadows and keep our chin high. And sometimes the dark comes seeping in. Sometimes our own weapons turn against us. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the head clear. To focus. Sometimes our control crumbles. And is taken away. Sometimes it’s impossible to hold on.

Sometimes I realise my mistake. And sometimes I ponder if I am one. And then they are there. Screaming: Yes. Yes, you are… Someone who can’t even do this simple task.

Sometimes I hide from them. In my room. I can hear them scream and yell downstairs. Upstairs. On the other side of the door. And sometimes I am happy that I am so lonely. Because at least I don’t have to listen to them. And sometimes I think: Why bother? At all?

But then there you are: The calm after the storm. The boulder in the stream. My rock. And your voice is soft:

“Want to feel alive?”

And I chuckle. Because you have come to know me so well. And you take my hand and lead me away from them.

And we conquer the world. We hoist our colours and take a gulp of freedom. We are the snake with its cunning and wisdom. We are the sea. A roaring and a calm. And we will write history and prophecies.

Because we want to.

{However, please, don’t push me.}

writers and poets are superheroes

our weapons  are our pens and pencils and keyboards people get hit by our words, some cry some laugh  some hate some love (via justscribbledwords)

I love this.

(via hanzelwrites)

Her erratic breaths made a lovely melody accompanied by the city’s noise. Her weak knees pressed against the cold pavement did their best to kept her straight. Her once beautiful dress was now a dirty mess ripped to shreds that only reminded her of her despair. Her brunette hair which used to be braided was now loosely blown by the chilled air of the night. It hurt. Betrayal hurt. Shutting her eyes closed, she stood up and started walking aimlessly. Their taunting laughter still echoed in her head. Their empty eyes still followed her. Then she was at the museum. Their museum. Where they promised they would always be together. Where secrets were shared. Where she learned what love what suppose to be like. Or so she thought. The sound of a broken glass the startled her waking her up from her painful trance. “Princesa, what are you doing here? What happened at the party?” an old man asked leaning an oval shaped mirror against a wall. “Nothing abuelo, I’m just tired”  she tried to lie, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. The wrinkle’s man face regarded her in concern, but when she turned away he sighed. “Just remember princesa, tu eres más fuerte que tus demonios.” Just when the door closed again she opened her eyes to confirm that she was alone. Suddenly she fell to the ground letting cries escaped her mouth. How could she be so naive? Lifting her face from a shield her hands had created she saw the reflection of the mirror shone in the darkness. Whimpering she dragged her body to the wall and took the mirror in her trembling hands. Upon seeing the image reflected she stayed in silence before letting a scream fueled by hatred. So under the gaze of the city that never sleeps she swore that they would never hurt her again. That they would pay. She would make them pay for what they had done. Because after all, she was stronger than her demons.