Hot And Bothered

hot and bothered

request: can you write one where jj and the reader have to share a bed at john b’s and jj ends up waking the reader up all hot and bothered? i love your writing so much keep it up!!

summary: jj and reader fall asleep together at john b.’s place. reader isn’t asleep for long when jj wakes them up asking for help with a rather hard problem. 

pairings: jj maybank x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: vaginal sex, unsafe sex, inexperienced boys, cunnilingus, lots of inappropriate kissing, almost voyeur? I mean they’re fucking on someone elses futon, so… 

a/n: WEAR CONDOMS. but... ask and you shall receive ;) this is porn without plot. big love, you animals

Only after 1 AM you realized it was late, when John B. excused himself to bed, making sure you had a blanket for the pullout couch in the living room. You were pretty much passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow, and JJ curled up on the other side of the couch. At least he was liberal with the blanket sharing. 

You had woken up in the middle of the night, thinking it was of your own accord. Until you felt JJ from behind, lips lazily on your neck and hands roaming where they shouldn’t be.

“JJ,” you muttered, suddenly very awake. 

You listen to him groan as he pushes himself up against you. He’s quite prominently hard in his gym shorts. It helps you know for a fact he’s not wearing underwear. He grinds slowly.

“Will you…” he trails in a whisper, and you answer by pushing back against him. You listen to his breath hitch.

“Don’t wake John B.,” he clarifies, reaching under your arm to wrap his hand around your waist. He squeezes softly. 

You take the hand and peel it off you.

You sit up in the dark and JJ follows you, watching in the moonlight as you strip your shirt for him. He moves closer, stroking himself in his shorts and watching as you undo your bra with years worth of expertise. You hear the futon creak as you move to sit on his lap, fully aware of the erection in his pants. He kisses you, hands roaming your skin, playing with the waistband of your own shorts. He kisses hard, biting at your lips and soothing them over with a lick.

You slide off of him and kneel as you pull them down to your knees, and the breeze from a window you couldn’t care less about is cold against your skin. You slip them off and place them somewhere on the bed and arousal pools in your stomach, and you feel yourself throbbing for JJ as you lay on your back. 

JJ knows exactly what you want from him, and he lays down in between your legs, tongue eager and cock pulsing.

You fist his hair in your hands and bob his head to a rhythm you create, watching JJ grind against the sheets, hips wide and hands firm on your thighs, calves resting on his shoulders.

He takes his time, sticking his tongue out flat to let you move against him.

Soon the arousal is too much, and it only takes a few quiet minutes before you’re grinding hard and fast, whimpering under his tongue and coming undone at his touch. You cum, throwing your head back against the pillows and you can feel JJ’s wet kisses at your thighs.

He finds his own rhythm against the sheets and you’re afraid he’s going to cum, so you tilt his head up and push him away. His face is wet, and he grins, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. Even in the dark you can make out the obvious tent, until he slips the shorts down to his ankle and struggles to get them off quietly.

“Shhh!” You hush, and he gives you a look that says, “I’m trying!”

He rubs his cockhead over your entrance, teasing, until he slowly slips his head in.

“Relax,” he instructs, leaning over you and gives you a surprisingly gentle kiss. He kisses your cheek and you smile as he rubs his nose over it, a soft eskimo kiss. 

He slowly pushed in further.

It stings, but he’s aware of himself, quietly taking his time until he’s all the way in. 

You find with each thrust, the makeshift bed creaks, but JJ is so blissed out you expect he doesn’t notice.

“Wait,” you whisper, and JJ stops thrusting.

“What, are you okay?” He says. You clench around him and he whimpers, but doesn’t move. His hands squeeze your hips.

“Lay down,” you instruct, and he slowly pulls out, flips himself eagerly onto the bed. You giggle quietly and hush him, planting your face into his neck and kissing him there. He breathes heavily as you settle back, lining yourself up with his cock, bending over at weird angles to make sure. He runs his fingers through your hair, and you look up at him and smile.

He groans as your hips meet his, legs bent on either side of him. Your hips stutter as you move, slowly grinding back and forth, being careful not to make any noise. You plant your hands firmly by his head.

It doesn’t take long before JJ is forcing his hips up to meet yours, and his breathing shifts.

“Ah, ‘m gonna cum, fuck,” he gasps, hands on your waist. You’re quick to get off of him.

He takes the base of his cock into his hand and continues with the same speed you were going.

“C’mere,” he pleads, and you’re hesitant to take the cockhead into your mouth, but do anyway. It would help with the cleanup after all.

He strokes the base fast, your mouth on just the tip of his cock, and he cums, body tense and hips stuttering and mouth open. 

It’s sticky and slimy and just barely salty down your throat, but you swallow, getting rid of most of the evidence in one fell swoop. 

“Woah,” JJ says, adjusting himself on the bed, his erection now half hard and lying against his hip. He lifts his head to look for his shorts, and you pass them to him. You realize you don’t even know what time it is. He lifts his hips and slips them on before laying over on his side to watch you get dressed.You don’t bother finding your bra, just slipping the t-shirt on and your shorts. Your underwear would have to be found in the morning. You laid on your side now too, looking at JJ. He smiles.

“Thank you,” he whispers, and you move closer to him. He accepts, and as he lays down on his back, you curl up into him, throwing a leg over his and resting your head on his shoulder.

With the smell of sex in the air, you can only hope you weren’t too loud as you fell asleep peacefully in JJ’s arms, you not as hot, and JJ not as bothered.

pls yell at me about having unprotected sex pls i’ve been slacking sm and it doesn’t feel important to me anymore oops

LET ME FUCKING TELL YALL. ABOUT SAFE SEX.

- IF YOU HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ONE PERSON YOU’RE HAVING SEX WITH ALL THEIR PARTNERS. which doesn’t sound bad bc you know they have good taste (obviously if they’re sleeping with you duh) but if you’re the upgrade what the FUCK were they coming from yk??? “If you play with trash, you’re gonna get dirty.” - Kie’s dad.

- STDs AND STIs ARE FUCKING UNCOMFY. LIKE, ITCHY EVERYWHERE. BURNING CROTCH. IT BURNS TO PEE. PUS. FROM YOUR COCK OR VAGINA. DISGUSTING. SWELLING UGH EW. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW YOU HAVE STDs FOR UP TO TWO WEEKS. and it’d be kinda mean if you gave someone an STD so please don’t

- LITERALLY IT’S SO EASY TO GET FREE CONDOMS GUYS. TYPE YOUR ZIPCODE INTO THIS WEBSITE AND IT’LL SHOW YOU THE CLOSEST PLACE TO GET FREE CONDOMS NEAR YOU. for guys and gals and nonbinary pals who have vaginas and like others with vaginas, dental dams are also a thing.

- P R E G N A N C Y. THE BIGGEST FUCKING BIRTH CONTROL EVER. CHILDREN ARE LOUD. AND MESSY. AND SO EXPENSIVE. THEY NEED CONSTANT ATTENTION. THEY WONT EAT WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO. YOU’LL CHANGE THOUSANDS OF DIAPERS. YOU’LL HAVE TO GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO BRING THEM TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN THEY HAVE A FEVER OF 103 AND THEN PAY FOR THE HOSPITAL BILLS. PREGNANCY IS PAINFUL. CHILDREN ARE ALSO ASSHOLES.

- PULLING OUT DOESNT WORK. PRECUM CAN CONTAINS TRACES OF SEMEN WHICH CAN MAKE ITS WAY INTO THE EGGS.

- PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE WITH A PENIS WHO COMPLAINS ABOUT BEING TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM. THEY ARE LIARS. OR HAVE DANGEROUSLY HUMONGOUS DICKS THAT SHOULD REALLY GET IT CHECKED OUT BECAUSE AT THAT RATE IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK. IT’LL BE LIKE  A THIRD FUCKING LEG DUDE HONESTLY.

- FOR YALL ON BIRTH CONTROL, MISSING A PILL CAN SET YOU BACK THREE DAYS

- GUYS. PORN IS FREE. PORNHUB IS FREE. XHAMSTER IS FREE. SMUT IS FREE. EVEN YOUTUBE HAS SOME SUGGESTIVE AUDIOS THAT MIGHT RUFFLE YOUR FEATHERS. i mean during quarantine you shouldn’t be fuckin anyway. why not get to know yourself a little better. you’re home all day with nothing to do. why not have some fun.

so, in short... be safe. have fun. do the do. but don’t do it at the cost of your health or the next eighteen years of your life. children never go away. like, ever. just jack off. mutual masturbation. phone sex. zoom sex. skype sex. anyway, big love, guys. 

pitaparka, out.

domestic frank is the best frank

Loungin’ Frank Castle

okay this is a random rant but i’m like scared to orgasm? i get to the very end, literally ABOUT to finish and i get scared and stop and i literally don’t know how to train my mind to not be scared of it. it’s so frustrating bc i WANT to but every time i feel like i need to pee i know i’m close but then i stop smhhhh

hi! I haven’t been active lately but this ask has been ruminating with me for a while. I might hop on the wagon again with something not OBX related, but nothing is for sure. I’ve been reading a lot and just hanging out a lot with friends and family which is nice, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to get to this.

Try putting a towel down. It’s not uncommon for you to feel that way! Peeing before you start, or even doing in it the tub or shower can help you not be afraid of making a mess. This isn’t a health advice blog and I’m definitely not a medical professional, but I think as a writer of smut and someone who is very pro sex and masturbation it’s important to embrace the messy parts of pleasure as well as the challenges they present.

big love y’all. talk to ya soon.

don’t you wish

request: ur writing is so good i love ur fics :’) can u do a confessing feelings kiss with jj summary: jj is really upset you’re going to college. you hold him before you go. pairing: jj maybank x reader

word count: 1.4k warnings: sadness, fluff, reader getting ready for college a/n: this was really sweet to write. thank you for the request! keep em coming yall! Slowly but surely i will get to them all :) big love.

You didn’t want to chase him. He was being dramatic.

It would have been so much easier to let him go. To let him storm off.

But having that be the last time you see him before going off to college for the rest of the year? Not happening.

“Jay,” you call out, chasing him out the back door to John B.’s place. He wouldn’t care if you two were there when he was at work.

“Just fuck off. Go get ready.”

“I don’t want to leave you like this,” you say, and he stops.

“If you didn’t want to leave, you wouldn’t. You obviously want to go.”

“I have to go to college. What am I gonna do if I stay here? Mow lawns for kooks for the rest of my life, JJ—”

“The fuck is wrong with that? That’s probably what’s gonna happen to me! So what’s so bad about that—”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, I just—”

“What’s so bad about staying together, huh? What’s so bad about being with your friends?”

“We’re teenagers, JJ! Do you really think…” You shouldn’t say what you’re thinking, not out loud.

“Think what?

You avoid his gaze. He’s fuming, hard lips and flared nostrils and really, really red ears.

“You think we’re gonna stay together for the rest of our lives, JJ?” You whisper.

You look up at him with sad eyes.

He shakes his head, a sad grin on his face.

“Wow. Alright. Tell me how you really feel—”

“No, you know what I’m saying,” you say, stepping closer to him.

“If you’re saying that you don’t think we could make it, you don’t think we could be friends for the rest of our lives just because you’re moving away to your fancy college, yeah. I do know what you’re saying. And I—I don’t fucking agree.”

“Don’t do this, JJ…”

Your shoulders feel heavy. There’s a knot in your stomach.

“Fuck, don’t you get it?”

“Obviously not, JJ! So why don’t you just tell me about it, instead of—”

“—You’re all I fucking have! I love you! Okay?” He turns from you with fervor and runs his hands through his hair before bringing them to rest on his hips, letting out a sigh and bringing eyes to the sky like he was asking for a reason this all was happening.

“JJ,” you say softly, “you know I love you too.”

He lets out a humorless laugh.

“And you know we can’t, because of—”

“—No pogue on pogue, right, and I don’t want to be the one who messes this up, because I fuckin’ mess everything up! God, dammit!”

You don’t know what to say. He’s so frustrated he collides his foot with a tree, bark flaking off the old oak, with it’s long curly limbs, having been around since you became friends. You used to climb that tree all the time, sit under that tree, sheltering yourselves from the hundred degree weather, talking about how you would build a tree-house with your own bare hands, just the five of you—The Pogues.

How your heart aches for a simpler time, where summer meant tubes of flavored ice and endless cartoons and learning to swim under the hot North Carolinian sun. Where summer didn’t mean you packing up your things and applying to colleges and trying to spend time with your friends who were always busy with jobs or scholarships, supporting themselves full time at sixteen years old. It hurt. Your face stings with unshed tears and you don’t want this to be the last time you see JJ. The last memory you make with him before you go off to some fancy college up North and never come back to the Outer Banks.

You come up from behind him and wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his back. He doesn’t know whether to pull away or lean into it, so he tenses up under your touch.

“You’re the one I go to, man…” he whimpers.

You hold him a little bit tighter.

“You… you help me out. You’re the one who… what am I gonna do without you?”

You two listen to the birds in the trees and feel the warmth of each other.

You pull away after a minute, and your eyes dart around the place before you meet him. His eyes are glossy and dangerously full.

“I don’t want you to leave us,” he mumbles, and his face scrunches up like he’s trying not to cry, but a single perfect tear runs down his cheek. He goes to wipe it away with the back of his hand, but you beat him to it.

He sniffs loudly, hands by his side as you caress his cheeks with your thumbs, wiping away tears and as soon as his eyes become too intense, the sadness there palpable in the atmosphere, you rest your forehead on his cheek, and he cries.

You can’t help but plant soft, inaudible kisses to his face, where the tears are. You bury your nose into his neck and feel your own tears, hot on your cheeks, soak into his shirt.

You pull back to rest your forehead against his, and he leans into you, making it easier.

But he keeps leaning in. And keeps leaning in. Until there’s nowhere else to go, but you don’t really want to be anywhere else and his lips are so close and he smells like honey and boy cologne and mint so you close your eyes and kiss him.

His lips are salty from the tears, but there are nerves in your lips you’ve never felt before. JJ cups your face and you cup his and he’s crying and you’re crying and you never want the kiss to end.

There’s pressure and warmth and butterflies that are landing and taking off in your stomach because this is JJ, your JJ, the same JJ you grew up with and teased and cried to and laughed with. The boy you love more than anything. The boy you would do anything for.

You wish you could preserve the memory of kissing JJ, his skin wet and lips raw from all the biting he does to them.

It’s hard to pull away from him, knowing it would be the last time. You rest your head on his shoulder and he holds you tighter than he’s ever held you before in his life. Harder than the time you broke your arm riding his bike. Harder than the first time his dad hit him. Harder than when you came back from your first vacation away from him. Harder than the time you had your first breakup. Harder than the time you found out you had gotten into the college of your dreams.

You count down from 10 in your head, and when you reach zero, it’s over. He lets out a shaky breath and wipes the remaining tears from his face before he shoves his hands into his pockets.

You both smile sadly, you down at his shoes, but he’s smiling at you, his eyes glossy. He wants to never forget this moment between you two. He can only hope you’ll come back for him, come back for your childhood friends. Your home. Your boys (and girl).

“I guess this is it,” he says, finally.

You try to look him in the eye, but you notice something.

There’s a single eyelash on his cheek.

“Wait,” you say, and pick it up for him.

“Make a wish,” you encourage, holding it in front of his face.

He looks between you and the eyelash.

Usually he doesn’t believe in that type of thing.

Though instead of his usual protest, he surprises you.

He closes his eyes, and makes his wish, blowing the eyelash off your thumb.

He opens his eyes, smiling.

“D’you know... do you want to know what I wished for?” He asks. He pulls you into his chest and tears start to well up in your eyes again.

“No,” you laugh, sniffling, “Then it won’t come true, dummy.”

“I don’t care if it comes true or not… I know it’s going to come true.”

“I don’t want to know your wish!” You cry into his shoulder. You feel him shudder with laughter.

He traces patterns on your back, his head resting on your shoulder, his ear pressed up against yours, his clean shaven face pressing into your jaw.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, JJ.”

oh shit who stole ur stuff

it doesn’t matter anymore, i filed a copyright claim against them and they took it down quickly afterward. just keep an eye on wattpad “imagines” books, because that’s where i’ve noticed most of the plagiarism is going on. big love y’all!