Tony: Ned, What Was The First Thing You Did After The Shooting?
Tony: Ned, what was the first thing you did after the shooting?
Ned: I called my parents and told them that I was okay.
Tony: And what was the first thing Peter did?
Ned: He ate a banana.
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More Posts from Panicattheolivegarden
Peter: People have asked me if I am a glass half full person or a glass half empty person
Peter: And I have come to this conclusion.
Peter: *abrubtly smashes glass on the ground*
Peter: If you haven’t seen two cats riding an elliptical together while looking like loafs of bread, are you really considered alive?
Peter: May just made seven layer bean dip, you want some?
Tony: Sorry kid, I don’t like beans.
Peter, eyes boring into Tony’s soul: ...Who the fuck doesn’t like beans.
Tony: So kid, anybody you like at school?
Peter: Well I sexually identify as a mistake so what does that say?
Tony: That says “another tharapy appointment.”
Peter: You know, you could consider me like a barbie scooter.
Tony: Elaborate?
Peter: Fabulous and unstable 😀
Tony: I’m firing your therapist—