Aw Yiss!

Aw yiss!

okay so for english we had to write our rough draft memoirs and this one kid wrote this and started reading it out loud to the class and i almost threw up laughing because it was so awful and stupid and subsequently funny and like he was intent on handing this in and having it graded like so i stole it from him to keep forever and it’s kinda hard to read what it says in the pictures so this is it

I was born in 1996 and my mom got blood everywhere. On my hair on my body. I was a baetiful baby The doctor grabbed my finger and dipped me in holy water and pronounced me the new Jesus. I was happy and holy. My mom passed out from all the blood she lost but she was fine after I said a prayer for her. I was golden and happy and could walk and talk. I could fly and never die. I sing like Aretha franklin and dance like Kate Kanderson. I looked like Bob Saget/ My dad was so proud I could play basball like Reggie Jackson. My mom would dress me up in white cloak and praise me while I blessed her. It all changed in the summer of 1997 I was having relations with this female and she had an STD. I got aids and I couldn’t shake them I tried so hard to get rid of them but even me the new Jesus couldn’t get rid of them. After I found out I went down a path of drugs alcohal. I was depressed and sad. Id beat people up and jack their cash. After this phase I became a priest. My life completely changed from bad to worse. I got body piercings and converted to jewish and became a Rabbi. I didn’t know much about judaism but I was great. I had three kids and bought and apartment for them. Little did I know Jesus can’t convert and I was banished from the temple. I cried all night. My sun turned on me and  tried to kill me in the middle of the night. He morphed into a sheep with claws and Hemroids. He spray blood all over my face so I shut mine and killed him.

The Game Has Changed

The AC boardwalk.

Ruined billboard.