The Sheer Number Of Emojis In This Is Gonna Give Me More Calories Than The Amount Of Cheese I've Consumed
The sheer number of emojis in this is gonna give me more calories than the amount of cheese I've consumed in my lifetime and it's all gonna give me a heart attack what the heck is this.
1. โ Iโd be contributing less to climate change. โ๏ธ๐ฆโ๏ธ๐ง๐ฉโ๏ธ๐๐ช๐ฌ
2. โ Less Kanye West quotes.๐ง๐ฟ๐ง๐ฟ๐ง๐ฟ๐ง๐ฟ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ
3. โ Iโd finally find out if God is real. ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐คโโโโโ๐๐๐๐โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
4. โ I might get reincarnated as a cat.๐บ๐ธ๐น๐ฟ๐๐ฝ๐ผ๐ป๐พ๐บ๐ธ๐น๐ฟ๐๐ฝ๐ผ๐ป๐พ
5. โ I can throw the best funeral.โฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธ๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช
6. โ I donโt have to make anxious๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ calls๐๐๐โ๏ธโ๏ธ to my doctor.๐๐
7. โ I donโt have to drink Dr๐ Pepper ever again.
8. โ NO. MORE. DRIVING.๐๐๐๐
9. โ If I go to Heaven๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ, I get to hang out with Michael Jackson.๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ
10. โ If I go to Hell๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ, I get to hang out with Hitler.๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป
11. โ If I go to Purgatory, fuckโฆ.๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
12. โ No more goddamn politics.๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ก๐ก๐ก
13. โ My therapist can have more time slots.๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐
14. โ More Zoloft for everyone.๐๐๐
15. โ My room can be used as storage.๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ
16. โ Dying seems like the best investment.๐STONKS๐
17. โ Because my brain told me so๐ง ๐ง ๐ง ๐ง
18. โ Iโll do what I want!!!๐๐๐๐๐
19. โ I get to die in a cool way.๐๐๐๐๐๐
20. โ No more waiting at the DMV.๐๐โโ
21. โ I can finally prove that bully right from 7๏ธโฃth grade.๐๐๐๐
22. โ Itโd be a really nice sleep.๐๐๐๐๐๐
23. โ Iโll prove Iโm not a coward.โโ๐ฑ๐ฑ
24. โ Iโll finally get to meet Camus.๐ค๐ค๐ฎ๐ฎ
25. โ My drama will end.๐๐๐
26. โ Everyone get my stuff!๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ
27. โ Canโt overthink if youโre dead.๐ง ๐ง โโ
28. โ My obituary will finally be in the paper.๐๐๐๐
29. โ To escape Trumpโs America.๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ
30. โ To finally see if this is a simulation.๐ฅ๐ฅ
31. โ To see who goes to my funeral.โฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธ
32. โ So I can be dressed in the my best clothes.โ โ โ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ก๐ ๐ฅฟ๐ ๐๐ฅพ๐งฆ๐งค๐งฃโ๐๐๐งข๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ถ๐๐งณ๐๐ผ๐ฅฝ
33. โ So I can finally have Vines play at my funeral.๐๐๐๐๐๐โบ๏ธ๐คฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
34. โ To be my final defiance from God.๐ก๐ก๐ก
35. โ My final words can be: โWell, that was something.โ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
36. โ Less callers to the Suicide Hotline.๐๐๐
37. โ Canโt get any worse, canโt get any better.โโโโ
38. โ My organs can be donated.๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐ฆท๐๐
39. โ And nothing of value was lost.๐ฐ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฎ
40. โ There will be more oxygen for people.โ โ โ
41. โ Less meat eaters. ๐ฅฉ๐๐๐โโโ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ
42. โ Less buyers of clothes made by children in sweatshops.๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ๐จ๐ณ
43. โ Less men alive.๐จ๐ฟโ๐ฆฐ๐จ๐พโ๐ฆฐ๐จ๐ฝโ๐ฆฐ๐จ๐ผโ๐ฆฐ๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆฐโโโ
44. โ Less people who love Parks and Rec more than the Office.๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฑ๐ฑ
45. โ Less shitposters online.๐ฑ๐ฑ๐๐๐
46. โ Less ranting.๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐ก๐ก
47. โ Satanโs waiting.๐น๐น๐น๐น๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ
48. โ Jesusโ waiting.๐คก๐คก๐คก๐คก๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฝ
49. โ Iโm so fucked up.๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐คค๐คค๐คค๐คค
50. โ Donโt need to do my taxes anymore.๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ต๐ต
51. โ Donโt need to fill forms.๐๐๐๐
52. โ Join the biggest club in the world, the dead peopleโs club.๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
53. โ Seems like a good thing to do.โ โ
54. โ Life was already pretty good๐๐ so might as well end it here.๐๐๐๐
55. โ No more colds.๐ฆ ๐ฆ ๐ฆ โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
56. โ I get to watch from up or down there!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
57. โ No more denial.โโโ
58. โ My friends sympathy can be used elsewhere.๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐พ๐ง๐ฆนโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ
59. โ My advertising data is now useless.๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
60. โ Expectations of me have finally become 0๏ธโฃ.๐๐๐๐
61. โ Not having to pay my Netflix bill anymore.๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฐ
62. โ This seems like a nice way to go vegan.๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ก๐ก๐ก๐ฐ๐ฐ
63. โ Iโve just had about enough. Itโs time to sleep.๐๐๐
64. โ Iโm cancelled. Permanently.โโโ
65. โ The permanent solution to a temporary problem seems pretty efficient to me.โ โ โ โ
66. โ Maybe this is all a dream.๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
67. โ I can finally prove Iโm depressed!๐๐๐๐๐โน๏ธ๐ฃ๐๐ซ๐ฉ๐ฅบ๐ข๐ญ๐ค๐ ๐ก๐คฌ๐ณ๐ฅต๐ฅถ๐ฑ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐๐
68. โ As the eternal self, I can choose when to leave.๐๐๐๐๐
69. โ Because rules are meant to be broken.๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐๐๐
70. โ I have never broken a bone but thereโs a first time for everything.๐ฆด๐ฆด๐ฆด๐ฆด๐ฆด
71. โ It seems as though Iโve been emo too much online and thus I am unhireable.๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐ค๐จโ๐ค
72. โ This is my fuck you to capitalism.๐๐๐๐๐๐
73. โ Iโve seen about everything.๐๐๐๐
74. โ Can never be a bad parent.๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐ง
75. โ Iโm a luxury no one deserves.โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
76. โ To prove I have good aim!๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ
77. โ To prove Iโm not afraid of heights!๐๐๐
78. โ To cure my mental illness.๐ช๐ญ๐ขโโโ
79. โ Because Kierkegaard is dead and Iโd really like to meet him.๐ต๐ต๐ต
80. โ Iโve seen every episode of Breaking Bad.๐งช๐งช๐งช๐๐๐
81. โ Because Arrested Development is past its prime.๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ๐ฎโโ๏ธ
82. โ Iโd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.๐ต๐ต๐ต
83. โ Because Iโm too dramatic.๐คญ๐คญ๐คญ
84. โ I can finally get what I deserve.๐๐
85. โ I can stop pretending I know French.๐ซ๐ท๐ซ๐ท๐ซ๐ท
86. โ Iโm finally honest with my feelings.๐ง ๐ง ๐ง
87. โ No more carbs.โ๐ซโ๐ซโ๐ซโ
88. โ I donโt have to live with myself.๐
89. โ No more self-hate.๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ
90. โ Iโm trying to prove a point.๐๐๐
91. โ The game is up.โฝ๏ธ๐๐โพ๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐๐๐พ๐๐ธ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฃ๐นโณ๏ธ๐ฅ ๐๐ฅ
92. โ Iโve given up.๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ
93. โ Iโm tired of listening to sad songs.๐๐๐๐๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ผ๐ผ๐น๐ป๐ธ๐บ๐ท๐ฅ๐ง๐ง๐ง
94. โ I can regain my 20/20 vision.๐๐๐๐๐๐
95. โ My final meal can be a 20 piece Chicken McNuggets.๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
96. โ My twitter can be re-purposed for a bot selling car insurance.๐๐๐๐
97. โ I donโt have to fear being murdered.๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช
98. โ Iโve already seen Kanye West.๐๐๐๐ฑ๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐ฑ๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐ฑ๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐ฑ๐ฟโโ๏ธ
99. โ Iโm tired.๐ช๐ช๐๐
100. โ Because this list was way harder than I thought to write.๐๐๐
101. โ I hate myself.๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ชโ ๏ธโ ๏ธโ ๏ธโ ๏ธโ ๏ธโ ๏ธ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
why am i being sent this i couldnt care less
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purpleeggyboi liked this · 9 months ago
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oceaniddoesstuff reblogged this · 9 months ago
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