Nothingspecifc - Nothing Specific

whatever was left, that was ours for a while.

sunrise - louise glück

LizzieOrmian.redbubble.com

I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I.

-Sylvia Plath

Pika-llection (all from 2021)

source

transcript under the cut

NEAL CASSADY TO ALLEN GINSBERG

Denver, Colorado April 10, 1947

. . . I don't care what you think, that's what I want. If you are able to understand and can see your way clear to shepharding me around the big city for 9 months, then, perhaps, go to Europe with me next summer thats swell, great and wonderful, exactly what I want, if not — well, why not? Really, damn it, why not? You sense I'm not worthy of you? you think I wouldn't fit in? you presume I'd treat you as badly or worse? You feel I'm not bright enough? you know I'd be imposing, or demanding, or trying to suck you dry of all you have intellectually? Or is it just that you are, almost unconciously, aware of enough lack of interest in me, or indifferance to my plight and need of you, to believe that all the trouble of helping and living with me, would not be quite compensated for by being with me? I can't promise a darn thing, I know I'm bisexual, but prefer women, there's a slimmer line than you think between my attitude toward love and yours, don't be so concerned, it'll fall into line. Beyond that – who knows? Let's try it & see, huh? . . .           Relax, man, think about what I say and try to see yourself moving toward me without any compulsive demands, due to lack of assurance that I love you, or because of lack of belief that I understand you etc. forget all that and in that forgetfulness see if there isn't more peace of mind and even more physical satisfaction than in your present subjective longing (whether for me, or Claude, or anybody) I know one cannot alter by this method, but come to me with all you've got, throw your demands in my face, (for I love them) and find a true closeness, not only because what emotionality I have is also distorted by lonliness, but also because I, logically or not, feel I want you more than anyone at this stage.           I'm really beat, off to bed, and a knowledge of relief, for I know you must understand and move with me in this, you better not fight against it or any other damn thing, so shut up, relax, find some patience and fit into my mellow plans.           Love & Kisses, my boy, opps!, excuse, I'm not Santa Claus am I? Well then, just – Love & Kisses,                     Neal

Tuli Kupferberg from Fuck You Magazine, 1963