A Fic Idea Just Hit Me After I Opened My Pinterest Feed, Omfg, I Am Going To Write. LIKE LIKE OMGNSJSJQJQNSJSJ

A fic idea just hit me after I opened my pinterest feed, omfg, i am going to write. LIKE LIKE OMGNSJSJQJQNSJSJ

Sometimes motivation isn’t enough. You also need good habits and determination to make it happen, even when your motivation is low!

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THE ILLUSION OF YOU

a collection of very short fics. what is their reaction or how do they cope when they lose you to what we call “death”? childe. xiao. ayato. kaeya.

authors note: is this considered reverse angst? wrote this because i needed a break from reviewing the materials. it's very short but i hope you all enjoy!

tags: gender neutral!reader. light angst. mention of reader death.

word count ৎ୭ 1.9k words. 12.06.2022

penned by @doctorheusch

The Eleventh Fatui Harbinger gazed out of his office window, Snezhnaya's snowfall is a scene he can never grow tired of. However, something is different today. He despised seeing the frost land little by little on whichever surface they could find. Childe's hold on his pen tightened, it reminded him of a crimson stage so painful, contrasting the white purity of his mother nation. “This is what happens when you disobey the Tsaritsa, Tartaglia.” Childe can hear Il Capitano's stern voice, the Captain's sword dyed with red, “We are not allowed to love.”

He knew that. He knew that yet he didn't stop himself from loving you. How can he? You have been the light in his dim world ever since he met you. There was no one, not even his family, that could rival your position. Childe loved you dearly, he cared for you and your needs, and he protected you whenever necessary. Nonetheless, he couldn't protect you from a blade the Tsaritsa ordered to be drawn. It went straight through your heart, the sharp silver blade coating itself in your red essence. It was a sight to see... and to fear. What he experienced in the Abyss cannot compare to the pain of watching your death, your gentle soul molding with Teyvat's unseen forces.

It disturbed him. The hope of building a family of his own with you was destroyed in front of his very figure. It disturbed him. Every attempt he has to sleep is rendered useless by the memory of your lifeless smile each time he closes his eyes. It disturbed him. How your warmth was taken from his grasp so quickly, the comfort you gave lost in the coldness of your shared bed. It disturbed him. Your absence killed his soul because you are his soul. The purpose of his life.

“Stay strong, Ajax.” You told him once. Childe's head lay on your chest as you both were in bed, your fingers combing through his hair. How cruel are those words now that he remembers them? He couldn't be strong without you, not now. “When I'm gone–” Childe wanted to refute but you covered his lips with your hand, continuing your statement, “If I'm gone, you will stay like the strong person you are. When you think of me, please be reminded of our good memories. Don't be sad. I'll always be with you.”

“But you're not.” The Eleventh Fatui Harbinger whispered under his breath. A lone tear rolled down his cheek as he shifted his gaze away from the window. Wiping away the dampness on his face, Childe chuckled, “The Harbingers aren't allowed to love. We aren't even allowed to be happy. Yet darling, you are and will always be the most beautiful yet painful memory.”

“(Y/N), I–” Xiao spoke, reaching out to touch your hand but when he thought he succeeded, his hand went through yours. It's merely an illusion, a painful illusion that has plagued him ever since your death. In the bedroom, on the terrace, walking around Liyue Harbor, he can see you everywhere. The smile on your face never faltered in those memories, however, by the time he could indulge in them, your expression overlaps with what he saw on that fateful day. It rained quite hard when it happened.

You were climbing up the steep and tall mountain of Mount Aocang, not bothered by how slippery the ledges got due to the rain. Xiao worried since you still weren't home but he was reluctant to look for you in case you were still mad at him. He didn't want to disturb your peace and quiet. Yet as time slowly passed, the Conqueror of Demons couldn't stand still any longer, disappearing from his place on Wangshu Inn's roof. He began to look for you in Liyue Harbor then at Guili Plains, worry piling the more he couldn't find you.

“Xiao!” Your clear voice rang in his ears when he was about to move again and he didn't hesitate to follow, materializing on top of Mount Aocang seconds later. What he saw will scar him forever. The Conqueror of Demons witnessed you falling, he tried to catch you or do something to cushion your landing. He was desperate. Nonetheless, no matter what he did, you were falling too fast and he was too slow. Xiao never despised his speed until what happened. There was a short moment where he could have caught you, fingertips meeting yours, yet the ground did so first. He watched as the light in your eyes faded upon impact and your last breath whispered his name.

Everyday. Every day he mourned your death. Every day he sat beside the gravestone engraved with your name. Every day he talked to the wind, hoping its breeze can take his words of devotion and regret to you. Every day, two questions lingered in his mind, “Is this my punishment for the lives I took through time? Or is it my punishment for being selfish and finding happiness?”

The elegant and poise Yashiro Commissioner sat on the terrace of the Kamisato Residence, looking stiffly at the tea presented before him. It brings his darkest remembrance to life, the swirl of the tea grains and the color of the liquid made his stomach churn. If this was a setting where you are still existing, he would have basked in the enjoyment but it wasn't. This is the present. The present where there is no you. It became a tradition for Ayato and you to sit beside one another while drinking tea, conversing about either the most random topics or serious matters involving Inazuma. Ayato loved your company, so much so that he planned to take you as his spouse.

However, the wedding never happened after you drank a cup of tea. Ayato was alarmed that day, your body swayed and landed on the floor with the cup in your hands rolling away, spreading its contents everywhere like paint applied on a canvas. You were poisoned. Ayato did what he could, he vaguely remembers himself cradling your cold body to his chest while begging Guuji Yae to heal you. She looked at him with pity, placing her hand on his shoulder as he cried a stream of silent tears, knowing it was impossible to bring someone back from the dead. “(Y/N) will rest in peace, Yashiro Commissioner.” Yae stated, giving your lackluster figure her blessing, “Go home and prepare for their departure. It is the last thing you can do to honor their name.”

You were buried beside his parents a few days later, your body wrapped in precious cloth, and a myriad of flowers was offered around your gravestone. When Ayato finished his investigation, the outcome made his heart ache with unbearable pain. The poisoned drink was meant for him but it landed in your hands instead. Even after slaying the culprits with his sword, the hurt did not fade. He wished to have you in his arms once more, kiss you good morning and good night, whisper his sweet nothings into your ear, and declare to the world that you are his. Sometimes he can feel your touch and if it's his mind playing delusions or a sign from the other side, Ayato felt thankful.

In those little familiar movements, he felt complete. In those little touches, he is more than happy to feel even if they are temporary. In those little things, he found a glimmer of hope. Nevertheless, those same touches made him slowly accept that they are just flickers of what was left of you in his mind. Ayato will do anything for you. He can protect you, shelter you, and provide anything in your dreams as long as you remain beside him. He can even follow you to the Underworld to do so but the number of times Ayaka and Thoma stopped him from harming himself has made him powerless to try again.

“I miss you.” Ayato sighs, clasping his hands close. What can he say when he sees you again? That he wished he was the one who drank from the poisoned cup? That he can't take the pain in his heart every time he wakes up and realizes you're not there? Or... The words he always wanted to say, those that he knows are strong and true, “I love you.”

“I hate you.” Kaeya voiced out, looking at the mirror in front of him, repeating, “I hate you.” He spoke to his reflection, the eye that was always hidden underneath an eyepatch exposed for the first time. It is indeed a beautiful eye yet right now, Kaeya wanted nothing but to rip it out. What is the use of being born with Khaenri'an blood? What good does it bring? Kaeya tightly held onto the sides of the mirror, looking at himself. What did you see in him? Your murderer? He wanted to know so badly. Kaeya wanted the ability to turn back time and cut his connection with Khaenri'ah off before it could have harmed you. He wanted to rip himself into pieces at the thought of a week ago.

You were acting strange and everybody noticed, especially him. He thought you were just going through a random experience but one day, you snapped, an aura of darkness surrounding your body in the process. Kaeya witnessed the familiar symbol of the lost nation engraved on your neck and he immediately knew, you have been possessed by a banished deity. There are still a few vengeful deported gods greedy to take the throne of the current archons. They sneak inside the boundary of Teyvat and wreak havoc by choosing a host to control for their selfish needs. Hence, the threat that the entity inside you gave was expected, a danger that could destroy Mondstadt and its citizens.

Everyone knew they needed to defend the City of Freedom, however, Kaeya was placed in a dilemma. After all, the host the entity chose was you. Jean offered a counter plan, to safely contain you, but he knew that it was either your death or a massacre of thousands. He hugged you, an arm around your waist as his dagger went through your chest, successfully injuring the heart you gave him with a wide smile. Your heart so pure he couldn't take it upon himself to gaze at your weakening figure as his blade dug deeper, the tip appearing out of your slender back. Kaeya supported you as you lost your ability to stand, carefully sitting on the ground with you on his lap.

The Cavalry Captain knew the entity left your core when he felt your hand touch his cheek, weakly caressing it. You smiled at him, the usual smile you give when you wanted to reassure him that everything is going to be alright. He knew you were almost at death's door and he bit his lip, hands trembling as he held you close to him. “Thank you, my love.” You whispered, coughing out blood, “Live for me, alright?” Kaeya didn't know what he said in response because the next scene in his memory is blurred with tears and the overwhelming pain which until today, still didn't fade. Perhaps in your next life, you'll have another beautiful story. For now, the only words he can say are, “I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry.”

you asked for it.

imagine the chasm quest with xiao, but he doesn’t immediately come back. like he leaves you behind after always promising to return to you. you’re calling- no screaming out his name as you’re on your knees begging that he really didn’t sacrifice himself for you and the others.

zhongli can hear your screams and at first was ready to let xiao rest but he feared now it may not be the best time. so he saves him.

suddenly xiao appears and you’re literally sobbing so much you didn’t even realize it. traveler is comforting you as yelan sees xiao.

“____…” he ever so slightly whispered but it’s enough that you snap your head around and literally trip trying to get to him. you’re holding onto him for dear fucking life.

“you asshole… you promised you’d never leave,” you’re crying into his shirt as he’s super sad too. traveler, paimon, yelan, and yanfei all standing there like: “damn.”

literally after that he has to rebuild his trust with you because it was shattered when he left you. you become anxious whenever he leaves and he wants to promise he’ll return but he doesn’t think he deserves to say those words.

he comes back to you ever evening with some small trinkets just to try and apologize (bird behavior) and yet you’re just glad he’s safe now. but still hurt because of his broken promise.

this is so self indulgent cause i would literally sob if this happened. LIKE? XIAO YOU CANT DO THIS TO US.

moot you so genius frfr,,

after all of the pain and anguish the chasm had left you and xiao, you hoped he'd stay home for a while. just enough so you can breathe, knowing he was safe and that he was there. every moment away from him left you paranoid, like some was watching you, preparing to pounce at you in your moment of vulnerability away from him. or that someone or something was out there hurting him. the thought had even crossed that he managed to end up back there again- at the chasm.

you tried to forgive him for what happened. you knew xiao's karmic debt weighed him down, how thousands of years alone had worn him down to where he was just a husk of a man who only knew how to fight, but sacrificing himself? after you had met and loved him, he was so stupid enough to throw all that away just to be a hero? oh, how you screamed his name till your throat grew sore. you cries traveled through all of teyvat, letting the world know of how your lover lied to you and left you in this cold world all alone.

the soft whisper of your name flowing through the wind towards you craning your head to see the yaksha right there infront of you, his amber eyes wide as he seen you on your knees, cheeks stained with tears, and lips quivering while mumbling his name. you crashed into him, tears pooling onto his shirt as you held him tight almost clawing at him as your cries grew louder.

why did you leave me? you promised xiao, you promised!

im sorry... is what he should have said to you, but in that moment, the words evaded him. leaving him with nothing but guilt as you sobbed against him. his mind raced, he wanted to hold you, kiss you, whisk you away from all the pain that he caused. he wanted to runaway from you so he could never hurt you again.

never again would he make a promise he couldn't keep.

those days had finally passed, although he didn't stay home like you wish, he did still come visit you in the evening. with a gust of wind, xiao would appear behind you on the balcony of wangshuu inn. he knew you'd sit there waiting for him to return. he had a boquet of sweet flowers in his right hand and a shinning ruby in his left, things he'd found while out in the mountains. he wasn't the best at consoling you, or comforting you. especially after he broke his promise, he didn't know any solutions to make you forgive him, to make things right.

"yn..." he whispered behind you. you didn't move, staring over the balcony unbothered. he tried your name again, a little louder. no response. he pouted his lips and nudged your shoulder. "...please?"

you sigh, wiping your wet cheeks and turned to him. with your bleary eyes you noticed the items he had in his hand. silently, he held them out to you. if you weren't so damn angry at him for leaving, you'd say the gesture was cute. yet, you didn't want the flowers or the gems, you wanted him to stay home. you wanted to cry all over again, thrashing into him and beg him one more time. xiao.. please stop leaving me.. but, you stood your ground, cold eyes boring into him, eye brows kneaded and sweaty fists clenched together. as if he had read your mind, xiao leaned into you besides your threatening aura and placed a soft peck on your cheek.

"...i wont leave you anymore. i promise."

that is, will he keep his promise this time?

(yo why did i kinda eat this up a litte)

ITS 1 AM AND IM GIGGLINGGGG HDVHDR6

01:10am | choi seungcheol

SYNOPSIS. in which your cuddly boyfriend interrupts your late night reading time. PAIRING. choi seungcheol x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. a lil suggestive, reader is smaller than cheol, lil makeout kissing sesh oops, terms of endearment, cheol is whipped, self-indulgent fr WORD COUNT. 1.1k

notes: i just have this thing for soft cuddly bed scenes w cheol :(

Seungcheol really doesn't know why that out of all other times of the day, you choose to read during the depths of the night.

But he's not at all complaining𑁋he's blessed with this grand view of you with your headphones on as you're sitting up against the frame of the bed behind, knees almost propped up to your chest, with a tiny, dim book light attached to the bridge of your book highlighting your face. Seungcheol thinks this might be one of his new favourite views of you.

He flips himself over to face your direction, opening an eye so he could quietly watch you. Seungcheol takes a moment to appreciate the cute, subtle details of your face when you're focused𑁋the way your eyelashes cast delicate shadows on your cheeks, the steady rise and fall of your chest, and the way your lips occasionally move, silently forming the words you're reading. The only sounds in the room he can hear are the rustling of you turning the page, the distant murmur of the city outside, and the faint music escaping from your headphones.

Letting out a yawn, he takes a moment to check the time on his phone, eyes widening to see how late it was. Yet when he turns back to you, he only pauses, because you seem too immersed in the book to be able to go to sleep right now, and he really doesn't want to disturb you.

"Baby?" he calls out to you softly, yet you don't hear him as expected, only furrowing up a brow at what Seungcheol could assume was you reading a peculiar scene in your book. He feels his shoulders deflate.

Instead, with a huffed breath, he can only take to sinking back within the bedsheets and hoping that you'd fall asleep after him.

But he can't fall asleep, no matter how much tossing and turning he does, since it's almost outrageous to his mind to the thought of him falling asleep without at least holding you in his arms like he always does.

Seungcheol turns himself over once more, a pout at his lips as he scoots closer towards you, yet you still don't seem to notice him. He contemplates for a moment, glancing down at your free hand at your side, and a thought crosses his mind. Slowly, he grabs your hand into his, intertwining your fingers together, and the action is just so natural and instinctive like a missing puzzle piece fitting perfectly into place.

He glances at you, noticing the slight smile that tugs at the corners of your lips as you continue reading. It isn't until he starts drawing circles on your palm and picking at your sleeve that finally grabs your attention, and you pick your head up to look at him, slipping your headphones off.

You watch the way he continues playing with your hand𑁋from drawing shapes on it, tracing the creases on your palm, to running a finger over your knuckles𑁋like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

"Cheol, what are you doing?" You ask bemusedly, attempting to pull your hand away but he just tugs it back.

"Hmm, missing you," he coos softly, adjusting your hands so that your flat palms are touching each other. The fact that the size of your hand is perfectly smaller than his is utterly adorable. "Your hand is small, you know?"

You roll your eyes, as if annoyed. "And yours is huge. We've been over this already."

"It's cute." He locks your fingers together again, tilting his head slightly to look at you. "You're cute."

You only click your tongue, biting back the smile to your face and the heat threatening up your neck as you bring your attention back to your book.

You release your hand from his. "Let me go read𑁋"

But before you can go back to reading, you feel a pair of arms wrap around and pull you into a tight embrace, knocking the book off your lap. A surprised gasp flies out of you, and in one swift motion, Seungcheol flips you both over so that he's now hovering over you. Your book is long forgotten on the floor as you stare up at him in surprise, the dim light casting a soft glow on both your faces.

Something catches in your throat as you lock eyes with him. If you listen closely, his breathing is just as unstable as your heartbeat, like he's breathless already. His dark gaze seems to hold a silent request, glancing between your eyes and your mouth. It bares a question that doesn't need words, and you answer with a small nod.

And with that, he leans down to press a kiss to your lips. It's soft, tender like always, and it doesn't take much for your body to go all limp below his as it deepens. He presses his weight against you carefully, making sure you're comfortable beneath him.

You feel the way he trails his fingers along your arm until he reaches your hand once again. With a deliberate move, he laces your fingers together before bringing your hand up to pin it gently against the pillow behind your head.

Seungcheol breaks the kiss, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.

"Okay?" he asks, voice a low murmur.

You nod, even though your heart is more than ready to burst out of your chest at any given moment. "Okay."

His eyes only soften, the smile to his face widening, a couple of shy giggles escaping your mouths together and into the thick air surrounding you both. He captures your lips once again in another sweet, lingering kiss, before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

"So pretty," Seungcheol whispers against your skin, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. He starts peppering feather-light kisses along your jawline, his hand gentle on your waist as he revels in the simple joy of holding you close. You lightly run your fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingertips.

"Why are you being so... so touchy right now?" You tease impishly, sighing contentedly at his touch, feeling the soft vibrations of his laughter against your cheek.

"I dunno," he admits simply, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. "You were reading too much."

"I was only reading for, like, an hour. That's not that long."

"An hour too long," he counters sulkily, pressing a soft peck to the tip of your nose. "I can't fall asleep without you."

You let out a playful scoff, running your fingertips up the exposed skin of his back ridden up from the black hoodie he wore. "You're such a big baby, Cheol."

Seungcheol leans down so his mouth is just a breath away, and before you could register it, he's rolling over once again so that you're on top of him this time, his hands coming to rest firmly at your hips. There's a smirk to his face that you can hardly see, yet you already know what he's thinking.

"Only for you."

"For... me?"

"Just for you," he murmurs against your lips. "I'm all yours."

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag

hi eli! i’ve seen your moodboard and i was thinking of another moot interaction game? with a collage of your life, make doodles and like? what you did that day and then tag 3 people to do it? i call it the ‘romanticizing life’ moot game, since everyone is finishing their finals?

MOOT INTERACTION ALERT❗❗❗

Idk how to romanticize my life right now. But so far Ive done these: wrote a short story and sold it on a book exhibit in our university (it was okay, and my furst time to sell my work!! Yay! My classmates called me Wednesday 😭😂 one kid called me Thursday cause thats what the day was) , had a field study as a senior in college (kids everyone called me Ma'am Sheesh 😭 istg they always forget my name), done two written report (my friend Jera finally had time for me, is the good thing about this 😍), i wrote a song (im afraid is the only true good thing), and used my pentablet again after soooo many decades (lol).

tagging @anniecheol @tqmies @jaeminbunzz @jammingjaem @tddyhyck @haespoir @fullsunstrawberry