negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee
give up on your dreams and die

she/her

1075 posts

Negativity-begonee - Give Up On Your Dreams And Die - Tumblr Blog

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

corpus.

“Do you want to get high?” Draco asks, sharp knees knocking against Harry’s. They’re lying on the worn-down mattress on Draco's floor— a relic of a thing Harry admires for not just giving up and bursting— staring up at the cracks patterned like lightning on the ceiling.

“No.” He reconsiders. “I mean yeah, obviously, but no, can’t. There’s this— thing in two hours. Have to be there and I can’t show up—" he gestures at the air. “Y’know.”

“I know,” Draco clumsily pats Harry’s forehead. “Oh, I know.”

There’s a touch of condescension there, and Harry knows Draco well enough to hear everything he isn’t saying— I know you don’t want to go, I know you want to stay with me in my shitty apartment, I know you don’t talk about me to them at these things. There’s a version of Harry, lying somewhere in a ditch on the highway between who he was and who he is, who’d tear Draco apart for those insinuations. This version sighs a little and pokes him in one pointy shoulder.

“Hannah probably won’t understand the urge to stay holed up in here with my disreputable stoner boyfriend instead of attending her birthday party." He means it as a joke, it falls very flat. "I’m sorry.”

“You keep assuming,” Draco says, drawled and posh, despite the mould growing in the corner of the room, “that you need to justify yourself. You live your own life, Potter, I stake no claims on it.”

They say nothing for a while.

“Muggles have this thing,” Harry says eventually, breaking the silence. “The share market. Stocks.”

“Stocks.”

“Yeah. Hermione explained it to me. It was complicated and most of it went over my head but, but it all boiled down to— ownership, really. You— buy out parts of a company and you own those parts till you sell them. I think? I guess. The more you own, the more decision making power you have. Or something like that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s— whatever, if I was a company, you’d own— fifty eight percent of my stocks.”

Draco’s looking at him like he’s lost his mind. And alright, that’s fair, but he’s trying here. He needs Draco to— understand. Swallows. Realises he cares a little too much about how well Draco understands this.

“You own,” he begins, swallowing again, Merlin, he’s parched, “fifty eight percent of me. Most of me. So much of me, Draco. I’ve never given myself over— like this. To someone else. But there’s a remaining thirty— no, Merlin, should have taken Arithmancy— forty two percent? That they still own. Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Neville and Luna and—” He gestures at the air again. Doesn’t turn to look at the softly breathing body next to his.

“Corporation,” Draco says slowly, words rounded without the razor sharp edge of before. “Corporare. Corpus. Corpus means body, do you know that? That’s the root of these entities, the body.” His hand, fine-boned and blunt-nailed, cards through Harry’s hair. “I own fifty eight percent. They own forty two. How much of your body do you own, Harry?”

“I don’t—”

“You don’t?”

They lie in silence again, the gentle scratch of Draco’s nails against his scalp a monotone soundtrack to their thoughts.

“Pansy bought me a book on anatomy once,” Draco says conversationally after long minutes have passed. “It was kind of awful. And I was thinking about making some grand statement about how you own the percentage of me that my heart weighs, but that’s about—? 0.69%? Which isn’t a declaration at all, it’s actually kind of offensive. So I thought of adding in the percentage of blood, which is about 10%, but even that sounds ridiculous.”

He pauses. His hand stills in Harry’s hair for a beat too long before starting up again. “What you own—” he clears his throat. “You own my thoughts, Harry. And they can’t measure that. Every time you walk out, you own my grief. Every time you stay, you own my joy. I can’t measure it, Harry, but immeasurable and infinite are synonyms.”

“I’m not going,” Harry says, sitting up. “I’m not going to Hannah’s stupid party, Draco, fuck it, I’m not—”

Draco just stares up at him. “42%,” he says after a second too long of silence.

Harry laughs. It’s wild, maybe a little hysterical. “Fuck it,” he says again, looking down at Draco’s flushed cheeks. “Yours. All yours.”

written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt: my girl has four cats and a sonos speaker system. i have no idea how it went to the weird places it did, but oh well.

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

Saw a commercial that said “without the letters A B and O there’d be no you”

It was about blood types

As someone versed in fanfic tagging, that’s not the first thing I thought of

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

What’s a soulmate?

“It’s a…it’s a well it’s like a best friend but more.”

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“It’s the one person who knows you better than anyone else.”

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“It’s someone who makes you a better person.”

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“Actually, they don’t make you a better person, you do that yourself…because they inspire you.”

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“It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you, believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would.”

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“And no matter what happens,”

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“You’ll always love them.”

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“Nothing can ever change that.”

———————————-

@bokuakaweek2021

Day 10: Free Day

bokuakaweek2021

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

The Grishaverse as The Office

Alina when she got to know that Darkling is the Black Heretic:

The Grishaverse As The Office

Kaz Brekker:

The Grishaverse As The Office

Wylan van Sunshine during "Six of Crows"

The Grishaverse As The Office

Mattias (no comments):

The Grishaverse As The Office

Inej to Kaz:

The Grishaverse As The Office

Bonus: me when I read the 40th capture of The Crooked Kingdom:

The Grishaverse As The Office
negativity-begonee
3 years ago

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

negativity-begonee
3 years ago
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee
3 years ago
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee
3 years ago
negativity-begonee
3 years ago

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

negativity-begonee
3 years ago
Todays Gender Of The Day Is: Death Note Spoiler

Today’s gender of the day is: Death Note Spoiler

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

Gonna be on 12-hours duty at the hospital for the first time tonight, wish me luck

negativity-begonee
3 years ago
Oblivious
Oblivious
Oblivious
Oblivious
Oblivious
Oblivious
Oblivious

oblivious

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

my mom asked why i don’t read as many books as i used to and i just said it was because i read a lot of unpublished stories from independent writers online and she thinks that’s very good of me to give undiscovered authors a chance

hahaha

i just read gay porn

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

Six of Crowds fandom 🤝 The crows

Never understanding Kaz's plans

negativity-begonee
3 years ago
Rest In Fucking Pieces Draco
Rest In Fucking Pieces Draco
Rest In Fucking Pieces Draco

Rest In fucking pieces Draco

For @trashcanprince 💕

negativity-begonee
3 years ago

So many TV shows/movies depict the Epi Pen as a total solution for anaphylaxis...it's not. The Epi Pen gives you 30 minutes to get to a hospital where they can save your life. TV makes it look like you just have to use the Epi Pen and then the crisis is over. Do people without allergies or a loved one with allergies know that an Epi Pen only buys you time? The more I see this on TV the more I worry...

**Maybe you should reblog this because I'm actually worried that most people don't know.

negativity-begonee
3 years ago
Just Crying Over How Romantic Freddie & Jim Were Nbd
Just Crying Over How Romantic Freddie & Jim Were Nbd

just crying over how romantic Freddie & Jim were nbd


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negativity-begonee
3 years ago
negativity-begonee
3 years ago

1926. If Harry Potter Was An Anime.

negativity-begonee
3 years ago
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee
3 years ago
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee - give up on your dreams and die
negativity-begonee
3 years ago

How do u deal with your problems?

I don’t 

negativity-begonee
4 years ago

What a year this week has been.