We Don't Have An Inner World.

We don't have an inner world.

I mean, not really. Sometimes we can imagine a place really hard and see it there. The "safe space" we created with our old therapist is one such example. A cool, quiet place for us to visit to calm down and relax and enjoy ourselves when things get overwhelming.

Thing is, I don't really consider that to be my inner world.

I have to consciously think of it to bring it up. The other alters don't necessarily "chill" there. Sure, we can invite each other there as need be, but we're all more like visitors sharing the same daydream.

And we have other places like that, too. Places or scenes we imagine just to facilitate some form of communication with each other. A white room, a library, a forest, a spaceship.

But none of them are really an inner world for us.

No, honestly, any attempt an an inner world has actually made things worse for us. As in, made our dissociation actively worse, not better. For some of us, we would confuse internal experiences with reality too much. Others were basically get stuck in this daydream and experience a lot of difficulty trying to leave. Still others refused to leave; after all, the inner world was so much more pleasant than the external world.

And honestly, it's not too bad. We tried to force ourselves to have an "inner world" like all the other systems we seemed to hear about online. We were told how it could help with communication and having a safe space, or having things for other alters to do when they're not fronting. Even our old therapist originally tried to help build one with us. But honestly.... forcing one on us isn't the right thing to do.

If anything, the void nothingness is more calming and relaxing for us. Our various trains of thoughts are always running anyways, we don't need the hubbub of an "inner world" to entertain us. We don't need internal avatars to know which train of thought is talking to us right now. Just letting ourselves... be, in this chaotic swirl of thoughts and memories, instead of forcing some kind of organization on us, has been a lot better for us. Accepting that this is how we work made our communication stronger. Working with what was already there and trying to understand that made things so much better for us.

So for those of yall who don't have an inner world, who tried to make one but just couldn't: its okay. You're no more or less of a system for having one.

hi chelley fans. it is time. i’m so excited for this week i’ve drawn SO much lmao❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

first day is roleswap/cuddles, decided to mix both prompts xP designing core/android chell for this was SO fun!! since her whole shtick is being abnormally stubborn, i thought her purpose would be exactly that. a Persistence Core who never gives up… and hates humans (and Aperture. Obviously), probably a slight bit more than the average robot, to mirror her hatred for AI in the og 😭 in the chelley server we were discussing how core chell would be like and i love the idea of her communicating with beeps and speaking in morse code— something that human Wheatley doesn’t know how to decipher so they do have big problems of miscommunication, even here 💔💔💔 anyways i love them and i will definitely be drawing roleswap chelley and android chell more in the future 🧡

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

im all itchy

i found a messy brush i actually like on magma and it looks a bit like unos. im not sorry because i still dont have ANY FUCKING PEN PRESUR.E FUCK YOU. trevor belongs to @unoriginal-and-dumb lampert design(?) by @lucid-daydreaming-art

dont use my art w./o permission og versiion under cut

Tomrey posting

been meaning to draw this for a bit