The Way I Cook Is Pure Chaos And It Usually Errs On The Good Side Of Mediocre, But For Some Reason The

The way I cook is pure chaos and it usually errs on the good side of mediocre, but for some reason the rule does not apply when I try to make pasta sauce (without diligently following a recipe)

Of the times I can remember:

— I once made a lovely delicious sauce while slightly out of it (there may or may not have been impulsive tequila involved) which needed to be thickened slightly, one thing led to another and it turned into a solid block of flavorless rubber

— One time I tried to make a pesto sauce from approximately scratch and I don’t remember what exactly I put in it, all I know is I kept adding things to try and fix it and it ended up so bad I had to just pour the whole of it out

— A few days ago, I had an idea to add asparagus to a jar of pesto, I managed to choke down all of the pasta, but it tasted like pure asparagus piss sauce

— I took the leftovers of that sauce today and seasoned the fuck out of them to try and fix it, unfortunately I thought they needed an acid and I decided to add a smidge of vinegar which turned into probably like a whole tablespoon because I poured straight from the bottle and now I covered one bad flavor with another and it’s now salt and vinegar flavored asparagus piss sauce

Halloween Film Frightstival Day 13: The Ring (2002)

To scold myself for skipping two whole days of my marathon, I’m watching The Ring. I am very preemptively scared but if i start crying and end up too afraid to sleep tonight I only have myself to blame.

The true horror is the fact that my tv does this weird inexplicable thing where when something is streaming sometimes the audio cuts out and the only way to fix it is to restart the entire tv and it’s done it twice in the first half hour

Okay I watched the whole thing, overall not nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be, I was honestly the most scared at the beginning when Katie’s time was almost up (the tape itself also bothered me, but it’s supposed to be unsettling). It was actually incredibly sad during the middle part (before the ending was revealed, when you no longer feel bad for Samara).

That moment at the end when it hit me that Rachel’s countdown had stopped days before she even tried to save Samara was honestly a chef’s kiss moment. And the various realizations of how the imagery from the tape applied to her life were also good moments.

Am I good at horror movies now? Am I hard to scare? Because that’s not how I would describe myself with ghosts horror movies. Anyway I actually think I really liked it, it felt a lot more investigative mystery than horror for a significant portion of the middle and now I’m wondering if I’m gonna need to rewatch it sometime to get more out of it now that I know how it ends. It gets a 👍 from me

the belcher kids core

Halloween Film Frightstival Day 8: The Inkeepers (2011)

Okay so in case you’re unfamiliar with this movie like I was (I honestly don’t remember how I found it/how it ended up on my movies to watch list) it’s based on a real allegedly haunted hotel that the director stayed in while filming a different movie and the crew on that movie experienced haunting stuff enough to inspire the director to make an entire film set in the hotel. I’d say it’s almost a comedy horror, not in the way Shaun of the Dead or Tucker & Dale vs Evil are, but there are little funny things amidst the eeriness.

The coworker characters somehow feel like believable work friends without it feeling forced. They have some weird little game where they race to ring the front desk bell before the other can stop them, they’re ghost hunting enthusiasts so one of them showed the other one of those jumpscare bait videos under the guise of it being a ghost sighting, one saw porn on the other’s search history and commented that she’d have to make fun of him later (which she did several scenes later once you’d forgotten about it), the way during the first spooky scene one walked up behind the other and was like “I don’t want to scare you but I’m standing right behind you” which of course scared her so much she had to use her inhaler

I’m sure it wasn’t intended this way, but the character of Claire is so fucking ace coded to me. She went to get coffee and when the barista started asking for advice about her boyfriend she left without getting the coffee, when Luke started drunkenly saying that he liked her she decided they should explore the haunted basement (clearly not what he wanted her to say), she was no longer so scared of a ghost that she needed to hang out in Luke’s room when she realized he wasn’t wearing pants

Okay so I wasn’t expecting this to be a great movie, but you can tell that in the first half I was enjoying it more than I expected to. The ending however was a big letdown honestly, it felt like there was a lot of buildup and no reward. There weren’t really any big scares (a few you might call moderate?) and with all the tension the climax was short lived and not that exciting honestly. And then it kind of just ended? It was good in the first half, I thought it was gonna be good all the way through, the ghost was legitimately scary looking, but it all fizzled out. I could tell they were trying to do twists and maybe it’s my fault for being too good at calling twists (seriously there was one that I called the literal second the character was introduced), but it all just ended up being a bit disappointing. I’m bummed because I was invested 🫤

Addendum: Unfortunately for being disappointed, I’m still thinking about it and I’m wondering if there actually was a ghost at all. I think there was but there’s a strong argument that there might not have been.

Spoilers:

Claire was the only one who saw them, and she died locked in a room hiding from the ghost who she thought was banging on the door. We don’t actually see the ghost kill her and in the epilogue it’s revealed that Luke was the one banging on the door and she had dropped her inhaler after falling down the stairs, which leads to the possibility that she actually died from a terror induced asthma attack. That leaves the possibility that she was thinking about the ghost of Madeline too much and had just been traumatized by walking in on the old man’s dead body and was imagining seeing and hearing them.