I Need Some More Platonic Fun Stuff!! So How About Something Silly.

I need some more platonic fun stuff!! So how about something silly.

I need Alastor meeting a pirate overlord reader (gender neutral if you want but i prefer male reader) Alastor and reader becoming great friends. Like reader even having pirate slang, sea shanties!! A pirate ship and everything! Obviously Reader is the captain but they fun and often times joke.

(Probably because Alastor dressed up as a pirate once)

Reader will be the father alastor never had 💀

Good evening my dear! I positively ADORE the idea of pirate reader, I wrote a drabble and some headcanons!

Hell's greatest pirate

Alastor & M! Pirate reader

Warnings: ARRRRG PIRATE NOISES, this did have two other sea shanties but I took them out because GOOD GRIEF THE EDITING.

Sea shanty

There once was an pirate that was feared across the seven seas, he struck fear into those who opposed him, he was revered by his crew, and he only perished because of the harshest of storms, and now he was feared across the seven rings of hell, with his crew of outcasted sinners and floating ship.

This Pirate was you, in all of your waterlogged pirate-y glory!

You led your crew through the skies setting course to visit an old friend of yours in Cannibal town, you breathed in the stale air as the youngest member of your crew, a young imp sat on the edge of the ship, giggling.

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum," she started, glancing at the ground below her.

"I smell the... the bones of an English Man!" She giggled, so you did the only acceptable thing, and you hoisted her up onto your shoulders.

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, Crossbones, swords, and a bottle of rum!" You spun yourself around as the child giggled, you matched her glee as you sung

"Heave, High, Ho, Hum," your right hand man, or octopus in this case, Kirby sung along.

"No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum, from the dawning of the day," your boot stomped into the ground of the ship.

"To the drowning of the sun,"

"No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum," The little imp giggled as she dropped from your shoulders landing in Kirby's arms.

"Salt on my tongue from the spray of the sea," you steered the ship to the side, as the harsh wind brushed against your face you grinned.

"Drunk on the sun beating down on me," you watched as some of your crew stumbled before catching themselves and adjusting.

"Bound for a treasure that's never been seen," you grabbed your flask out of your pocket and took a swig, the rum patching your thirst, not enough to make you tipsy though, wouldn't want to meet Rosie dead drunk now would you?

"Where dead men lay their bones," you tucked your flask back into your pocket as you barked a few orders for the crew to follow.

"Blood on my hands from the pull of the rope," Kirby placed the child onto the ground, grabbing onto a stray rope and tying it back to where it belonged, the child beside her watching with glee.

"No wind in our sails, So we have to row," another crew member ran past carrying a comical amount of swords.

"And it's heave, ho-" The crew member tripped over themselves, sending the swords flying.

"Or to the locker, you'll go," several other crew members moved out of the way, managing to not get stabbed and injured, at most they simply got a new tear in their clothes.

"Where dead men lay their bones,"

"Pick up the damned swords you bilge-sucking seadogs!"

"Where dead men lay their bones,"

The little Imp child ran behind you grinning and watching as the adults around her worked.

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum," you ruffled the hair on her head, being careful not to accidentally smack her horns.

"Crossbones, swords, and a bottle of rum," You adjusted your hat as you watched your crew scramble below.

"Heave, High, Ho, Hum,"

The fallen swords were cleaned up in a perfect symphony.

"No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum," You watched as they returned to their respective duties afterwards.

"From the dawning of the day," you looked upwards, catching a glance of the fool in the crows nest.

"To the drowning of the sun," an eyebrow was raised as you watched him drunkenly move around.

"No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum," You motioned for Kirby to take over steering, as you hopped down onto the deck and traveled below.

You could faintly hear the child giggle as you head into the cabin, grabbing your own ropes and the such.

"Shapes in the shadows, wanna swallow us whole,"

You could hear the stomping and walking around of your crew, all doing their due diligence.

"The roar of the Kraken, tries to pull us below," you turned around to make your way back to the top.

"So it's heave, ho, or to the locker, we'll go," you took a moment to look at the ground, you would reach Cannibal town soon.

"Where dead men lay their bones," hiding away your grin you looked up at the sailor in the crows nest, you watched as he took a swing of the bottle in his hand.

"Captain Jack throws another one back," a sailor who acted like he ran the ship all while doing nothing at all.

"He finishes a bottle," you raised an eyebrow as he threw a bottle overboard.

"While we're breakin' our backs, so it's "Aye Cap!" until we give him the sack," you kicked the wooden pillar that held the drunken sailor with such force that it caused him to stumble and fall right into your arms.

A romantic thing it'd be if it wasn't for the fate that beheld him.

"Where dead men lay their bones"

Your crew surrounded him, taking the ropes you got to tie his arms and legs together.

"What do we do with a drunken sailor?" the drunken sailor sobered up quickly as he realized what was happening.

"Don't have a longboat or a rusty razor," he was soon lifted up and brought to the side of the boat.

"Toss him in the drink, and watch him sink" what an unfortunate fate that you had just entered cannibal town, your former crew member's body becoming a meal for whichever one got their claws on him.

"Where dead men lay their bones," you grinned as you looked down, waving at some of the residents.

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum," you traveled back to the top where your first mate and the child stayed taking control of the ship once more as the child giggled once more.

"Crossbones, swords, and a bottle of rum, Heave, High, Ho, hum."

"No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum," Kirby took the child down onto the deck as the crew began to prepare to anchor.

"From the dawning of the day, to the drowning of the sun," you steered the ship hoping to park near Rosie's emporium, not wanting to risk crushing a building like you did the last time you visited.

"No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum,"

Your crew took down the sails, slowing down.

"Weigh, hey, and up he rises," "Weigh, hey, and up he rises" "Weigh, hey, and up he rises" "Weigh, hey, and up he rises"

The anchor was grabbed and hoisted above,

"Weigh, hey, and up he rises" "Weigh, hey, and up he rises" "Weigh, hey, and up he'll stay"

Once you were right next to Rosie's, you motioned for your crew to drop the anchor, the metal causing the sidewalk it landed upon to crack, catching the attention of two cannibal overlords that resided inside.

"Where dead men hang their bones,"

You hopped down onto the deck, taking a moment to make sure you looked decent.

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, Crossbones, swords, and a bottle of rum," you proceeded to run to the side of the ship.

"Heave, High, Ho, Hum, No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum," and like Tarzan you took off running, leaping into the air and grabbing onto one of the ropes that hung off the side of your ship.

"From the dawning of the day," you swung around in the air, catching a glimpse of Rosie walking out of her Emporium with a deer-like sinner in tow.

"To the drowning of the sun, No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum."

"Ahoy Rosie! Ahaha!" You waved at the cannibal below, maneuvering the rope as you slid down, jumping off it once it was safe to die so, your crew cheering at the rather reckless move.

"Captain! It's been quite awhile dearie!" Rosie said as she moved in to hug you, you graciously returned the hug,

"Ay it has! I've been sailing these here skies with me swashbuckler of a crew but we're back in this side of the ring until the briney deep calls for us again!" Rosie grinned as the hug broke apart,

"You simply must tell us all about your travels, ah but first let me introduce you to Alastor!" Rosie gestured to the Radio demon beside her, to the average sinner his grin would be unnerving but to someone like you, you thought it was rather welcoming!

"It's a pleasure to meet you, quite the pleasure!" Alastor reached a hand out for you to shake, only for you to pull him into a pirate hug, squishing the poor deer.

AND IT'S HEADCANON TIME FOLKS! OHOHO

Alastor was NOT intending on getting adopted by a Pirate, but alas you cannot escape the pirate found family.

You're practically the entire crew's dad, Alastor is probably one of your favorite children though.

First couple of times you encountered Alastor [At Rosie's] You called him a landlubber but after y'all get closer, you begin calling him "My boy!" Or "Son"

Alastor acts like he despises it but you're the dad he wishes he had when he was young.

Y'all are very Hamilton the musical, George Washington and Alexander Hamilton coded

"Son!" "Don't call me son!"

You hear a lot of stories during your travels, and therefore tended to "Scuttlebutt" with Rosie, and eventually Alastor.

When Alastor disappeared for seven years you were WORRIED,

"Has anyone seen my son? Alastor! Papa's looking for you!!!"

You somehow got ahold of his baby pictures and show them off like a proud parent, honestly same case with his most recent pictures.

Imagine getting tortured by this pirate and he just pulls out his wallet and starts talking about his kids, and one of them is the FUCKIN' RADIO DEMON??

The two of you go head to head in drinking competitions, so far y'all have tied in them.

If you get him drunk enough he'll join in with singing your sea shanties

Rosie and Kirby are NOT thrilled about having to take care of a plastered Radio host and a three sheets to the wind Pirate caption

Can't remember if Alastor being afraid of heights is canon or fanon but we're going with it rn,

Dude is PETRIFIED ON YOUR SHIP.

Doesn't show it but like, it's horrifying and it does not HELP that you keep referring to the skies as the ocean.

By the way you definitely own one of those singing fish, you gave one to Alastor.

He has it hung up somewhere and he curses at it.

You teach Alastor pirate slang meanings and it's the same case as when Rosie teaches him modern slang.

Cursed cat Alastor likes to chill out in the boat.

He does try to eat the crew at times.

Very similar case with Mimzy and Rosie with the touching, you give very.... Strong hugs.

Good evenin' folks! I do hope you enjoyed this! I had fun writing it! And I'm glad that I got to sneak in my little Pirate Kirby, I haven't mentioned her in months, Hopefully I'll get the chance to play around with a Pirate reader some more but anyways Thank you for tunin' on in and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your night!

Psssst! Join the discord

Smile in the Dark- Alastor x Reader

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Plot: Alastor has never been in a true relationship with anyone, let alone the new and pretty hotel maid. But soon enough he finds he can’t wait to get his hands on you— and play a game of hide-and-seek while you’re at it.

Warnings: Smut, p in v, creampie, MDNI, slight fingering, cursing, fluff, possessive/controlling Alastor. Read at your own risk.

Alastor grinned at you from the doorway. He had asked you to come to his room that night, giving no clue as to what the invitation was for.

The two of you had known each other for months now. Ever since you had started working as a maid at the Hazbin Hotel, you had caught him staring at you once, then twice, then again. 

You remembered Vaggie’s words quite clearly—“Oh, don’t worry about Alastor. He’s just being a creepy ass as usual.” But somehow, the words didn’t quite catch. You found his demeanor charming, even intriguing. Always a gentleman— holding the door open for you, or complimenting your work. But always with an air of mystery, like an unsolved riddle. There was more to the sinner than met the eye.

Over time, you found yourself liking him more and more. After repeated interactions, you had finally asked him on a date. 

He was rather reluctant at first— the deer demon was not known for being the romantic type. But out of courtesy or an unexpected soft spot for you, you didn’t know, he had been sweet the entire time. Now you were, unofficially, dating.

“Good evening, my darling,” Alastor greeted you as you walked up to him.

“Evening, Alastor. Why did you call me here?” you asked. Alastor only chuckled.

“You’ll find out soon enough, won’t you?” Without another word he steered you into the room, hand gripping your shoulder firmly. 

The dark red and black atmosphere immediately enveloped you, the carved deer on the bedposts glared down at you through the dim glow. 

It didn’t intimidate you, though. It only reminded you of Alastor, who you were comfortable with already.

Suddenly, the lights were switched off, leaving you in complete darkness. “Alastor…?” you said, a bit uncertainly.

“Afraid of the dark, are we, now? I only want to play a little game,” Alastor leered from the darkness. You could just make out his sinister glowing grin in front of you.

Without warning, you were whisked onto the bed, legs already being spread on the mattress. You tried to gasp out something, but a finger was placed over your mouth.

“Trust me, dear. It will be more fun this way.” You felt yourself getting wet at these words. Turns out Alastor was more than just a gentleman— he was a lustful one. Your clothes disappeared in a snap, and a pair of lips were locked on your neck, sucking down on your delicate skin. Alastor’s hand made repetitive circles on your clit. You gasped at the sudden sensation, head tilting back.

Completely helpless in the dark, all you could do was anticipate what the radio demon would do next. His finger dipped inside, curling expertly and grazing your g-spot.

“Al-“ you gasped.

“Sh— quiet down and be a good little slut for me, shall we?” You obliged, little sounds escaping your mouth as his motions increased in intensity. You clutched at his chest, wishing you could see his face. As if he could read your mind, he sneered at you.

“If you want to see me, you have to be a good girl first.” You nodded, wanting nothing more than to do what he asked. You guessed a maid shouldn’t be doing this, but right now you didn’t care.

You heard the sound of him coating his shaft in your wetness, preparing himself to enter you. Little by little, he stretched you out, walls already clenching around him as you felt him digging deeper. And then he was pounding into you, tearing you up at such a merciless pace that you couldn’t help but moan out his name. 

“F-fuck, Alastor!” you whined, wanting more, more, more. He allowed you a glimpse of him as he fucked you, a flash lighting up his face and illuminating his full, magnificent features.

“So perfect for me,” he seethed. “Letting me destroy you like the little slut you are.” He grabbed your waist as he thrusted harder still, ripping an orgasm out of you that you could only describe as pure bliss.

You came on his dick, getting such a rise out of him that he could make you cum even while you couldn’t see him.

He relented enough to release inside of you, his seed filing you to the brim while his cock twitched inside of you. He pulled out slowly, your liquids dripping out of you like a perfect potion.

He lay his head on your chest, breathing raggedly. You soaked in his smell as you lay with your hair tangled, comforted by his warmth.

He kissed your lips. “We certainly must do this more often.”

“Yes,” you replied. “And… with the lights off.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed my little game.”

“I did.” A pause. “Good night, Alastor.”

“Good night, my precious.”

For Your Heart

The End

|Masterlist| Ao3|

|Part 1: The Beginning| |Part 2: The Middle | |Part 4: The New Beginning[Coming Soon!]|

Pairings: Alastor x wife!Reader. Tags/ Warning: SFW. fem!Reader, AFAB, Established Relationship, Human! Alastor, Human! Reader, tooth-rooting fluff, Husband! Alastor, Angst Harana – a traditional form of courtship done during the night where men will go to someone’s window with an instrument, usually a guitar, along with some of his friends to sing. TLDR: Sometimes all you need is a guitar and a song to catch hearts…and well, Alastor has a guitar and a voice perfect for singing. The beginning, the middle, the end, and the new beginning with a guitar and a song (feat. Ben&Ben)

I did not forget about this, no matter what anyone says. Part 3 of our delulu Harana series. Also, this happens to be a song that's in English. So non-Filipinos can enjoy and understand the lyrics. And you guys should go try it because Ben&Ben is so goated. This can be read as a stand-alone.

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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ

Monster.

Devil.

Murderer.

“This is a bit too cruel—Isn’t it love?”

Paint drips, and it drips, and it drips, and it drips. Each word embedded with the grief of the people. Each word embedded with the grief of a mother, a father, a daughter, a son, a friend. It trickles down and down and down the smooth, stone slab, and straight into the grief of a widow.

“Someone must really hate you to buy paint,” you say to a love that can no longer respond. “One can cost more than it should! It seems you’ve really managed to anger quite a number of people.”

There’s a bucket and a brush, and that’s all the kindness the world is willing to give. It’s something, at least.

There’s no one to question your reason, yet with the guitar raised above your head, you still respond, “I’ve come for your heart.”

It starts with a simple and soft strum of the guitar. Imprints of the string mark your reddening fingers as you awkwardly play the correct cords. The humming starts with a shy tune, until you find the courage to fulfill your promise to sing just for Alastor.

Only for Alastor.

Just a simple and soft strum of the guitar and you can already feel Alastor’s once warm fingers around yours. The humming starts shy, but eventually, you find the courage to sing just for Alastor – Only for Alastor.

“Why do comets come my way if they were only meant to pass?” It wasn’t easy to learn this song, especially when the strings dig into your untrained and wounded fingers, and chafes the skin right off your hands. Still, you continue. “Why did your love fill my days if it was never meant to last? . . . Was it never meant to last?”

Each chord hurts . . . but . . . but Alastor’s once warm fingers almost wrap around yours. You need to keep going. You need to keep chasing. You need to keep playing. Even if the bandages around your fingers start to rip.

Are you smiling?

It seems you are.  Alastor would be proud to see such a thing.

“You were my brightest comet.” You sing into the air, even if your only listener lays several feet down the grass. Stopping is not an option.  “Will this be just another memory? An old page, with letters faded out.”

Yesterday’s bouquet . . .

Footprints stain the petals, leaving the colors dull and wilted. Leaves were ripped and torn from its stem, and it scattered all over the dying and wilted grass. A gust of wind, and the ruined flowers blow around you and into the flush grass of other people. There’s a metaphor there somewhere. Alastor could find it.

“Set me free from momentary shooting stars. When they leave, they leave you in the dark.”

How dare he get caught, honestly. How dare he get himself killed. How dare he steal your heart.

Sweet words . . . sweet songs. These are all things Alastor promises you, and these are the very promises he’s breaking. Still, it doesn’t stop you from strumming your fingers across the strings. Each pluck of your fingers opens the unhealed wounds even further.

And finally, the warmth of Alastor returns. The memories of how Alastor wraps his fingers around your own, correcting the positions on the string until you’re playing the correct cords.

He’s smiling at you again. It’s so wide and happy that the edges of his lips reach all the way up his eyes.

You smile back at the embers of what’s no longer there.

The tips of his fingers will play with your own, and his rough and calloused hands from years of practice will swipe across until he finally intertwines your hands. Suddenly, learning the guitar isn’t so important anymore, not when he holds you oh, so, softly.

“They come . . .” Your voice breaks, and the song stops with a halt.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The wrappings around your fingers stain red. You watch as patches of blood spread all around your raw fingers.

Once more, you place your hands back across the strings. Stopping is not an option. Not when he’s finally holding you with the softest of touches. The smallest of smiles. It’s nothing compared to the ones Alastor hangs on your face . . . still, it’s something.

You take a deep breath and continue. “…Then end.”

Alastor places a hand on your face, swiping his thumb up and down. It forces you to lean into the embers of his touch.

“What should I say, dear, for you to remain here?”

The strumming of your fingers keeps going, never once stopping its feverish pace. The music captures you in a frenzy, and you sing, filled to the brim with the ruins of your love.

“And though these nights are turning gray. Still, I am thankful for what's passed. I know there may come a day when I will finally understand . . . that it was never meant to last” You lean your head across the headstone. “Was it never meant to last?”

It’s love.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

And all that love gathers into the corner of your fingers, and it drips, and it drips, and it drips.

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hi! making a request for alastor x f!reader! maybe where alastor has a nasty jealous side and takes it out on reader????? in a good way of course 👀 just a bit of an idea!

Ooooooo! I love this idea!

Jealousy

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Jealous & Possessive Alastor, Groping, Scratching, Biting, Blood Drinking, Oral (Fem! Receiving), P in V Sex, Cervix Fucking, Creampie, Also a little fluff at the end because I couldn’t help myself

“Well, well, well, looks like someone has a death wish, touching what’s mine,” Alastor’s tone was menacing as he narrowed his eyes at the man who had just briefly brushed against you.

His scleras were turning from red to black, and you knew what that meant. He was about to murder this man. He’s always like this but it gets worse when he drinks. When another man even just glances at you, he becomes a feral animal.

“Alastor, my love, it was just an accident,” you said trying to calm your overly jealous boyfriend.

“Haha, accident? I saw the way this wretch was looking at you from across the bar and now he has the gall to dare to come near you, the Radio Demon’s lady…” Alastor’s antlers were now growing, and you knew that you had to get him out of here before things escalated further.

The man was frozen where he stood.

You took Alastor by the face, “Come on, honey, let’s go home,” you gently whispered into his big fluffy ears, “let’s go home and you can do whatever you want to me, claim me as your own.”

Alastor looked at you and grinned largely and then he turned back to the man who was shaking in his boots, “You get to live this time. But if I ever see again, I’ll fucking tear your soul apart and broadcast your misery for all of Hell to hear. Hahahaha.”

You took Alastor by the hand and led him out of the bar.

All the way back to the hotel, Alastor wouldn’t stop groping you. He squeezed your ass and your tits, and kept kissing up and down your neck. You just let him though because you preferred him like this to when he was slaughtering someone. Plus if you were being honest, it was turning you on and you could feel your panties getting soaked by the minute.

Once you got back to your room, Alastor ripped your dress off of you and pushed you onto the bed. “Tell me, my dear, who do you belong to?”

“You, Alastor. I’m all yours.”

“That’s right, very good,” he said as he cut off your bra with his claws.

He removed his gloves to get a better feel of your mounds, he massaged them with his palms. You let out a little mew.

“Heh, I guess it feels good then?”

You nodded.

“But, I know my darling. I know you prefer pain with your pleasure,” he said before lightly digging his sharp claws into the tops of your breasts over the scars from the previous times.

“Fuck! It stings so good,” you cried out.

He chuckled darkly, before dragging them down to just before your nipples as he knew you had places that you didn’t like to scratched. He pulled his claws out of your tits and watched the beautiful blood start rolling down.

“Looks delicious,” Alastor licked his lips.

He ran his tongue across your chest, lapping up your oh so yummy blood. The sweet taste of iron filled his mouth and he moan profusely. You, yourself couldn’t help but moan and groan. You bucked your hips and rubbed your clothed cunt against his pants tent.

“Could that other man make you feel this good?” He asked.

You shook your head, “No, no only you can make me feel like this, baby!”

“You’re being so good tonight, my pretty pet. Saying all the right things. Letting me have my way with you. That deserves a reward, wouldn’t you agree?”

Before you could answer him, he was already kissing his way down to your belly and from there that special place between your legs. He tore off your panties with his mouth, “Look at that, so wet already, are we?”

You felt that familiar sting as he dragged his claws up your inner thighs. You threw your head back as you enjoyed every last bit of the pleasurable pain that raising through you, sending tingles up your spine. He planted a gentle kiss on your clit, knowing that it would drive you mad.

“Please, Alastor!” You begged.

“Please, what, my dear?”

“Give me oral pleasure, please!”

“Well, you did say the magic word.”

He started off with little kitten licks but that soon turned to long strokes up and down your labia. The lewd wet sounds mixed with your lovely moans filled the room.

Alastor began rubbing circles into your bud of nerves while still keeping his other hand gripped tightly on your thigh. He teased your entrance for what seemed like ages before finally shoving his long inhuman tongue into your weeping puss.

He reached it deep inside of you until he reached that spot. He started spelling the alphabet over it again and again with his tongue until you saw stars. You screamed out as toes curled and you came undone all over his face. He drank up all the juices that poured out of you.

“Tastier than venison and jambalaya combined,” he hissed.

Quickly, he removed his clothing and made you touch your knees to your chest as his forehead touched yours. He eased his thick member that was already dripping precum inside of you. Once your walls adjusted, he started pounding in and out of your cunt. The tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each hard thrust.

He moaned your name before kissing you passionately. Your lips moved in sync with each others, he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You could still taste yourself. You could feel yourself coming undone again.

“Bite down on me, darling,” he said exposing the crook of his neck to you.

You obeyed and bit down as hard as could, the sweet taste of iron now filled your mouth.

“Ah! Fuck! It feels so good!” He huffed into your ear.

Your walls clenched down on him as you had your second orgasm. Your eyes rolled back this time and you went momentarily deaf.

His thrusts got faster as he was reaching his climax as well. Soon he went cross eyed and cried out your name as his thick seed filled you up.

Alastor collapsed on top of you. Both of you were panting and drenched in sweat. Once both you came down from your collective highs, you held him as he laid his head on your chest. You stroked his hair and his ears, he looked up at you and smiled softly. His genuine smile.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, Alastor.”

You two eventually fell asleep and next morning, he already had your favorite breakfast ready for you.

Southern drawl

♡ pairing: Human!Alastor x Reader

♡ Summary: you can't help but love Alastor’s southern drawl

♡ Warnings: 18+, MDNI, sleepy Alastor, voice kink, unprotected sex, southern drawl, sleepy voice

♡ An: quickly written, not proofread, possible spelling errors, poorly written.

Can't stop thinking about Alastor’s sleepy voice..

Imagine Alastor working late at the radio station or having a late night “hunting” and coming home just to fall asleep on the couch.

Imagine the next morning you find him. Head tilted back, legs spread, one thrown over the back of the couch the other hanging off. His glasses are hanging low on his face and his hair is a mess.

Imagine crouching down beside him and gently shaking him awake. “Al, baby time to wake up”

Imagine him groaning and cracking open one of his eyes, a goofy smile on his face as he takes you in and says your name slurring the word. “‘ive more minutes darlin'”

Imagine him closing his eyes again and rolling over and into a ball on the couch. He's way too tall to be sleeping there but he's too comfortable to move.

Imagine him talking in his sleep, his voice is raspy, his southern drawl more prominent and speech slightly slurred laced with sleep.

Imagine him not actually being asleep, he just knows what his voice does to you when it sounds like that.

Imagine him using this to his advantage. Always trying to rile you up and get a reaction out of you.

Imagine him with a hidden smirk on his face as he hears your breath hitch when you hear him talk.

Imagine him “waking up” just to talk dirty to you in that voice. “Wanna fuck you so bad darlin’. Bend you over the table and Have my way with ya.”

Imagine him knowing exactly what he is doing to you. Holding back a laugh and trying not to smirk “Aw darlin’ somethin’ the matter? You're all flushed. Look at you rubbing your legs together”

Imagine him actually Doing it. You're bent over the coffee table, nightgown thrown up over your hips as he thrusts into you. He's bent over you back whispering the naughtiest things you've ever heard. “Fuck, cunts so tight sweetness. was made for me. Left a permanent imprint of my cock. Look at you takin’ me so well.”

Imagine him putting his hand on your stomach feeling the Bulge of himself going in and out. He takes your hand And puts it there pushing down. “Feel that sweet girl? Feel how deep in you I am?”

Imagine after he is done with you his voice is somehow even more raspy and his southern drawl even worse. “Let's get ya cleaned up darlin’”

Imagine him giving you the sweetest aftercare, running you a bath and cuddling up on the couch as you listen to jazz on the radio.

Selfish - Alastor x Reader Oneshot

You face-planted on your bed, what semblance of energy you had left disintegrating and blowing away in the wind.

Today was too long a day.

Charlie needed some comfort after seeing the news roast the hotel again.

Vaggie needed to be calmed down because everyone got on her nerves.

Angel Dust needed a good hug and reassurance that he was worth something.

Husk had drank too much and threw the empty bottle at you when said as much. (He apologized afterward and the guilt made it easier for you to usher him to bed)

Lucifer was disassociating hardcore and you had to walk him through basic selfcare.

Nifty....Was Nifty.

Not that you minded that they needed different help here and there. Everyone needed a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to. And as far as you were concerned, it really was the least you can do. You couldn't fix their problems, but you can carry some of the load for them. That was...something, right?

A knock on the door made you grimace. Masking your agitation with a neutral expression, you opened your door to see none other than the Radio Demon himself.

He grinned down at you, his arms crossed behind his back, his posture straight, his clothes smooth and unwrinkled.

But...his grin seemed a bit strained, at the corners.

Alastor was difficult to comfort as he insisted he didn't have emotions anyway. And he hated to be touched. And his favorite food was raw venison or demon meat. So most of your techniques didn't have much ground.

However, he did love to laugh. So when he needed it, you would often play the role of a clown.

You leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms across your chest and looked up at him with an exaggerated grin.

"Whazzzzah?" You said, intentionally making your voice nasally and high pitched.

Alastor picked you up like a suitcase and carried you back to your bed, sitting you down on the edge of it and kneeling in front of you. His expression didn't change as his eyes flicked over you.

You swallowed thickly. "Er...What bees the ups my dudes?"

No change in expression. No confusion, no mild irritation.

You started to get fidgety. Maybe you needed some new material? You like doing the funny voices and the purposely incorrect grammar, but if he was sick of it it'd be-

You train of through abruptly derailed as Alastor's hand came up to cradle your face. The other one brushing some of your hair out of your eyes. One claw lightly grazed your skin and you winced.

"So Husker's little fit did hurt you, hm?" He said, pressing the pad of his thumb against a spot typically hidden by your bangs - now adorned with a partially scabbed-over cut.

You winced again "What're you talking about?"

"Oh, my dear. I heard what happened between the two of you. The drunkard got a bit too brash and ended up hurting you."

You sighed "It was an accident."

Alastor's eyes narrowed "Ah yes, it's always an accident with you."

You met his glare "What do you mean by that?"

The Radio Demon waved his hand, materializing some first-aid equipment. He didn't even let you know when he applied some antiseptic to your cut making you hiss through gritted teeth.

"A little heads up would've been nice!"

"An accident, my dear."

You deflated immediately "Ah. Okay, sorry-"

"Thank you for proving my point." He cut you off, a slight growl to his voice. Alastor slapped a bandage over your wound and pulled back, glaring at you intently.

"Huh?"

He rolled his eyes "Everything everyone ever hurts you with is an 'accident' to you. No one ever means to hurt you."

You scowled "Husk didn't mean to hurt me!"

"You're allowed to be mad you know." He huffed "Even if it was an 'accident', you could be mad he threw a fucking glass bottle at you!"

"He didn't mean to." You insisted.

"And Charlie didn't mean to dump all her woes on you, and Vaggie didn't mean to make you play peacemaker, and Angel Dust didn't need you to be a therapist. And Lucifer didn't need you to play nurse. And nifty...." he trailed off, unsure how to categorize your helping Nifty today. He shook it off and met your eyes. You glared back at him and pushed him away.

"No! None of them meant to! I chose to-"

"Would it really kill you to be selfish once in a while?" He said, tilting his head. Red eyes narrowed as his ears pinned back on his head.

"Firstly, i'm already dead. Secondly, I'm always selfish!"

"Give me an example."

"WELL, Mister Everything-Is-My-Business, I slept in to like, noon, yesterday-!"

"Because you spent all night listening to Vagatha."

"-and yesterday I ate the last of the spaghetti-!"

"From the meal you skipped while you helped Nifty hunt bugs."

"I hid in my room all day-!"

"Due to everyone not paying any attention to your immense discomfort at their ruckus."

"...You're dumb." You said, crossing your arms across your chest. Alastor rolled his eyes and pushed you down so you were lying on your bed. His hands were on either side of your head as he leered over you.

"Despite doing nothing but listening to everyone's endless ramblings all day, you're immediate reaction upon seeing me is to play jester and make me feel better."

"You looked upset." You said.

Alastor sighed "Exactly your problem, my dear." He moved away so he wasn't pinning you to your bed, calmly removing his monocle to clean it before gingerly placing it back onto his face.

You rolled onto your side to watched him. "...I don't think it's a problem to care."

"It is a problem to care too much."

"Well, you don't care enough so I guess we even eachother out."

Alastor hummed, looking away from you. You bit your lip. Maybe...you pushed that too far? You never really held back the sass with Alastor, but he was already irritated....

"Ask me for something." He said.

"Eh?"

He snorted, ears flopping in agitation "As you said, you care too much, i care too little. So now we'll do this: you care less about what I want and you care more about what you want."

You blinked, confused "....That's. Oddly sweet of you?"

Alastor snorted in response, still locked in a staring contest with the opposite wall. There seemed to be a bit of red creeping up the sides of his face.... Now was he turning red because he was mad or because he was....flustered?

"So. Can i ask you for anything?"

"Within reason."

"....Can I get a hug?"

The record scratch was audible.

"You have the Radio Demon offering you to do a favor for nothing in return, and you ask for a hug?"

"That's what I want?" You said, snuggling underneath your duvet. "Don't worry about it if you don't wanna-"

"Oh for the LOVE OF!" Alastor cut himself off, grumbling something under his breath that did not sound as jovial as his permanent grin may imply.

The man briefly disappeared into a puff of shadows before reappearing under the duvet with you, wrapping his arms around you and pressing your head into his chest.

You laughed. "Was it that hard to just lift the blanket?"

"Quiet, you." Alastor muttered into your hair. You sighed contently, snuggling closer to him.

"Can I hug you back?"

He tensed up next to you, so you dropped it. Despite his insistence on you being selfish, he didn't push you any further. Instead relaxing more as you made no move to hold him.

"Thanks, Alastor. I'm gonna drift off, so you can head out if ya want." You mumbled into his shirt.

"We'll see."

You didn't bother trying to fight sleep, letting the exhaustion of the day catch up with you and your troubles drift away as you listened to the Radio Demon's heart.

Alastor was still there when you woke up, but don't you dare mention it.