Hey, Same Person Who Sent In The Ask About Pro-ship And 'anti' Definitions And Such -

hey, same person who sent in the ask about pro-ship and 'anti' definitions and such -

(sorry if this is incomprehensible i'm tail end of an all-nighter and my brain is fried lol) thank you, reading through it makes a lot of things make sense, and honestly, I definitely do find myself on the 'neutral' or therefore pro-ship side (as it appears to be), or just that "live and let live" idea. writing a fic about an abusive relationship doesn't make you an abuser or an awful person, and its always been so strange to me how people will say that 'writing it means you are it', to put it loosely. i have my own personal limits in how I like to consume and portray these things, but i literally have zero qualms if someone else's limits and tastes are different than mine because 1) not my business 2) nobody's holding a gun to me head to make me consume their content 3) doesn't mean they're an awful person who ought to be arrested or however some people make it out to be. if someone writes a rape fic that's between them, their audience and the google doc it was written on. it also kinds ties in to the whole idea of censorship and my opinions on it for me, with how vague some people seem to be about it - if you're calling to ban all fics that "romanticize abuse", that itself can be abused to take down the works of queer or disabled people, people who are open about different types of relationships, etc etc. what i'm trying to say is if you try to ban any fic like that, you're probably also going to ban fics of people in poly relationships, or who have an unusual kink that you don't like, because it's vague enough to be able to suppress people. am i making sense here? probably not, but I do hope you get what I'm saying here, sincerest apologies for my incessant rambling.. it's just been a long, long time since I've been able to say these views that I hold (I don't think I ever have, actually. Not to this extent anyway).

thank you, thank you very much. definitely going to be sticking around this blog for a while, I think ^^

What you've described is effectively being pro-ship. However, there's no obligation to use labels. SALS is still a somewhat popular acronym and there is also profiction, which a lot of people are more comfortable with using to describe how they relate to fiction vs reality. Fandom spaces are all down to the individual.

I'm glad I could help you better your understanding, give you a space to speak openly, and I never mind rambling or long messages.

Why do people assume that just because you break the rules of safe sane consensual sex in fictional stories, that you have done 0 research on that outside of fiction? Like you have just met me, you have no idea what I know.

Because people are stupid.

Why did “be critical of your media” turn into “find all its flaws and hate it” why did people become allergic to FUN

honestly, I’m really happy that you made that “we need to be allowed to be free from politics in fandom” post. And I’m really happy that it made some people angry.

Because you’re right. I’m a living example- I’m a person who just feels so much guilt if they don’t participate in this ritual of self-sacrifice in the way of helping others. And I feel like tumblr activism has come to a point where it’s not even about helping each other or mutual aid, it’s about guilt-tripping people and saying “well, you wouldn’t want to be Mr evil terrible guy, right? Right? So signal boost this! Or else you’re literally an evil transphobic homophobic racist Zionist fascist bigot”

we all have to be selfish sometimes. We have to. Selfishness is inherently neutral and we need it to survive. I’m a real example of what happens when a person tries to live a life without selfishness- guess what, I’m the worlds biggest doormat and I’m basically miserable because I’m too afraid to tell people that I just can’t do it anymore.

I’m a person who needs help right now. I’m a person who needs assistance right now. But I don’t think any of them really care. They just want someone to make into their strawman. The world isn’t black and white like that, though

The majority of Tumblr activism isn't about helping other people.

Its about giving people an outlet for their own emotions, and showing other people you're not a bad person. I have no doubt a lot of the people falling victim to this actually believe they're helping, and likely have good intentions, but realistically I see so many people just using "activism" to lash out at others and moral grandstand.

Weaponizing activism blatantly defeats the purpose of activism. There's no standard to the people who need help, and just because someone can't necessarily be an extreme activist doesn't void them from being the recipient of it.

I hope you get the help and respite you need and if I can help you or facilitate finding people to help you I'm happy to. I can also gather some resources for self-help and methods to reduce stress if those are beneficial.

And remember:

Fandom is not inherently political.

The point of activism is to make change, not to get notes on a post.

Those with broken legs cannot run. Don't cripple yourself trying to help others.

Upcoming US Senate Vote on KOSA

KOSA “amounts to a blank check for censorship”. Concerned individuals can urge US senators to vote “no” ahead of this week’s US Senate vote on advancing KOSA: https://bit.ly/3YhRqS2. Read Fight for the Future’s full statement at: https://bit.ly/4di9T5n 

You can also review OTW Legal’s concerns about KOSA at: https://otw-news.org/2p88fj2w 

Vent channels typically attract two types of people

Spiralers and People pleasers

Neither of which are good to put together because they make each other worse.

Every emotion you have is ok to feel but maturing is learning who actually cares about you, and that not all emotions need to be expressed to everyone.

Sometimes you need to keep it internal until its socially safe to express it - something I learned the hard way from being autistic

Every vent channel I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing has at some point devolved into people arguing because of something one person said, or someone thinks someone else is in the wrong, or someone got personally offended by someone else's ranting.

I'm not wholly against vent channels, I just believe that the management and moderation of them is sorely lacking to the point that when they are present, they're less helpful and more just... Festering.

If you're going to have a place in your server where people are going to be purely negative and where people are going to be unleashing vulnerability, anger, sadness, prejudice, where they're going to be raising delicate and complex issues, you really need to watch it like a fucking hawk and monitor it. It needs to be somewhere where people outlet and move on, not where people are allowed to offer unprofessional advice or combative arguments to people who are in a fragile mindset.