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alistair: i’m king maric’s bastard son.

aeducan: and i’m an aeducan princess, second child of king endrin, heir to the throne of orzammar.

alistair: you’re WHAT-

aeducan: oh sorry, thought we were playing at who has it bigger.

Bigger Villains in Inquisition than Corypheus

the requisition officer

that One Fucking Shard in the hinterlands

despair demons when they somersault away from you and you’re playing a melee fighter

despair demons that somersault so far away that when your melee fighter runs after them the rift they came out of resets

the quickbar with its only eight spaces

“requires deft hands, fine tools” 

the specialisation trainers that won’t train you until you fucking open up a new area and go and capture a keep and then go back to skyhold to do a scouting operation and then go back to the area to finally pick up a shit piece of loot from a random enemy and they don’t even tell you where you can find the enemies

banters that only happen every 15+ minutes

the chantry

Why Are We Like This?

We wanted Sten, we couldn’t have him.

We wanted The Arishok, we couldn’t have him.

And finally…

BioWare gave us Iron Bull

A Romancable Qunari…

But we wanted….

KREM.

what can i say...

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

oh?? [source]

Just a glimpse of what I think DA4 could be

bioware: nothing in life is free.

warden: adventure is free!

hawke: love is free!

inquisitor: knowledge is free!

da4 protagonist: everything is free if you take it without paying.

inquisitor: i prevented a murder today.

josephine: really? how?

inquisitor: self control.

zevran: don’t worry, i have a few knives up my sleeve.

warden: ... you mean cards?

zevran, pulling knives out of his sleeves: no, i do not.

iron bull: here’s a fun christmas idea. we hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever is under it.

inquisitor: kadan, no.

sera: mistlefoe.

inquisitor: please stop encouraging him.

lavellan during a fight: DIE, YOU FUCKING DREAD WOLF ASSHOLE!

solas: we’ve got to work on your cursing.

lavellan: but... i thought i was good at it.

alexius: fuck you.

inquisitor: is that an insult or a to-do list?

alexius:

hawke, flirting with aveline: am i going too far?

aveline: no, no. you went too far about seven hours ago. now you’re going to jail.

dorian: i want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives <3

inquisitor: i wake up at 4:30 a.m.

dorian:

dorian: i want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives <3

cullen: do you have any skeletons in your closet?

hawke: you mean like, literally or figuratively?

cullen: honestly, the fact that i have to specify...

warden: three words. say them and i’m yours.

sten: three words.

the warden: i impulsively bought a snake, what do i name him?

sten: you did WHAT–

alistair: loghain mac tir.

cullen, during his lyrium withdrawal: *hits the shelf*

inquisitor: hit my ass instead.

cullen: ... what?

inquisitor: what?

hawke: i can take the arishok.

varric, laughing: you mean in a fight, right?

hawke: ...

varric: in a fight, right?

hawke: did you really put aside everything and came all this way just for me?

varric: how did you even get here in skyhold so fast?

fenris: several traffic violations.

anders: three counts of resisting arrest.

merrill: roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

isabela: also, that’s not our ship.

inquisitor: oh, maker... that took long... what time is it now?

iron bull: no idea, kadan. pass me that drum and we’ll find out.

inquisitor: what do you me-

iron bull: *plays loudly and extremely out of tune*

krem: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING A DRUM AT TWO IN THE MORNING

iron bull: it’s two a.m.

sten: pet names? don’t be ridiculous. the warden and i do not use pet names.

leliana: oh, i see. and listen, how do you call that little baked thing you have in your hand?

sten: cookie?

warden: yes, dear?

sten: ...

leliana: don’t ever lie to my face again.