It Feels Like Life Is Always Leaving Me Behind.

It feels like life is always leaving me behind.

All my friends are with their lifetime partners. Some are family planning with their spouses.

And here I am, still searching for my person.

You said you liked me, and I liked you, too.

It was refreshing to move slowly--to not rush into things. To ease into the physical affection and the romance.

Slow was what I needed.

The last person I dated SA'd me on our second date and acted like it was nothing. It was oh so familiar. My body remembers how to freeze like it always does.

You didn't do any of that, and I was so glad.

I know it's selfish to say this, but I wish I had more time with you. I wish that your feelings didn't change so swiftly.

I won't chase after you, though. I respect your decision.

Thank you for being kind to me.

I don't hate you.

I'm angry, I'm sad, and I feel betrayed. But I don't wish you any harm.

I wish for your healing.

“She watched the stars collapse knowing that like her, they held onto their light for as long as they could.”

— Wilder

Not You

He's gentle.

He's kind.

He doesn't leave me behind.

And best of all

He's always on my side.

I fought the Universe to avoid you,

But the Universe laughed

And pummeled me to the ground.

When I stood up,

You were standing there.

I was so afraid of you, then.

Until you spoke.

Fear turned to calm.

Calm to warmth.

Warmth to excitement.

Excitement to

Heartbreak.

And you were gone.