You Had Always Known You Werent Quite Human.

you had always known you weren’t quite human.

it wasn’t something you were told. (it wasn’t like there was anyone around to tell you anyways.) the feeling was just there, haunting and lingering. it followed you the night you left liyue, when you escaped with nothing but a bag and a burning vision, and it was present when you fell into the sea in a flurry of sparks and ashes and emerged alive.

and it was here now, as you sat in your cage of crystal and frost, as you curled up and suffocated in the cold (and oh, it was so, so cold.)

even from the throne room, the thundering was unmistakable. it was the sound of an army on the horizon, of a nation on the brink of destruction. each step resonated within your core, but the roaring calls and shrill laughter could not hide the wails echoing throughout the city.

you peered through the spaces of your prison to the window. the horde was fast approaching and, under the light of the moon, they seemed like a wave of shadow, come to drown the very heart of snezhnaya. it would not take long to reach the edges of the city.

a spark flitted between your fingers, despite the absence of a vision. you turned your head to stare at it, pondering. (the harbingers didn’t seem to notice, too busy and too frantic.) should you? this was not your nation nor your home—you had been kept here as a trophy—but innocents should not die for the actions of others.

so you let it snap.

bolts of lightning fractured the sky, bridging and linking in the blink of an eye. those at the forefront crashed into the line and evaporated in a swirl of smoke and sparks. gasps sounded from around the cage, but you hardly noticed. shrieks erupted and the march came to a stuttering halt.

and for one brilliant moment, the world went silent.

until it wasn’t, and the night was filled with roars again, but of anger this time. the barrier flashed and flickered, bolts of electricity crackling in the air. violet and violent in the frigid weather, it was a wall keeping the horde at bay. you breathed. some time had been bought.

through fluttering eyes and diminishing sight, you vaguely noticed the inky clouds swirling in the sky, ominous through the window. beautiful, you thought, and terrible. before the world went dark though, you caught a pair of familiar golden eyes from beyond the storm. the message was clear.

this is war.

Can I have him?

to be vulnerable is to let yourself be bare, soft; to strip away everything until the only thing left is flesh and bone and skin. it is to carve out your soul and leave it at the mercy of someone else— trusting that they won’t leave you when you refuse to let yourself be anything but alone.

to xiao, a liability.

he is a weapon, an agent of bloodshed. vulnerability can only mean suffering for anyone who chooses to stay. (to be vulnerable is to be human, and he is anything but. when scarlet inks his hands, it is not of an innocent’s anymore. no longer the stain of humans, but of demons. this duty is repentance.)

and yet he finds himself soft for you.

soft, your hands as they cradle his face. and so, so warm. you tuck a lock of hair behind his ear, sweep a thumb across his bare cheek, and oh, how his heart trembles. he leans into your touch, shaky in resolve. (for how the mighty fall. for how long has it been since anyone has been this tender with him?)

and when you press a kiss to his lips, he lets himself melt into your hold. you are purer than anything he could ever dream of. you, divine and more than he deserves.

xiao is nothing like you, but perhaps he can learn.

HOT THINGS HE DOES ── ace trappola + gn!reader, 540

i. quite literally doesn’t care about your personal space, in a way that makes your heart flutter. even long before you start dating, he takes every opportunity to wrap his arms around you, pulling you against him or onto his lap. the way he touches you is casual and subtle — an arm around your shoulders or his chin on your shoulder — but it’s obvious enough that the new students at nrc automatically assume the two of you are dating when they first see you together.

ii. grins whenever he sees you. no matter how bad his rbf is or how sour is mood may be may be, it’s always resolved with a simple look at you. his lips pull into a lopsided grin when your eyes meet across the room, and he always offers you a two-finger salute in greeting. sometimes, when he feels extra playful, his grin becomes eerily similar to a smirk, and instead of giving you a salute, he’ll wink at you. it’s ridiculous, but it makes your cheeks warm anyway. you’re convinced that everything he does in life is to get a reaction out of you, one way or another.

iii. gossips with you, a lot. the way he whispers into your ear without taking his eyes off the person he’s talking about is uncannily similar to the mean girls you see on tv, which is why you’re embarrassed to admit that the way his breath brushes against your skin as he leans close to talk about that guy’s horrible sense of colour coordination makes your heart flutter. it’s even worse when he decides to go an extra mile for whatever reason and wrap his arm around your waist rather than simply leaning to you, pulling you closer and make your heart do all sorts of flips in your chest.

iv. slaps your butt. it’s stupid and immature and he literally has no reason to do it! but he does it anyway. he does it when you’re picking something up in front of him, or when he passes by you, or even just as a greeting. it’s a quick smack that is only loud enough for the people in close proximity to notice, but it’s still embarrassing. it doesn’t help that he has no shame, simply smirking whenever you turn to give him a look.

v. has a fixation with your lips. whenever he zones out around you, his eyes always end up on your lips— though, you’re not quite sure if he’s actually zoning out. whenever he realises that you’ve caught him staring, he simply gives you a lopsided smile and continues on with his day. he’s also the type of guy who carries the type of lip balm that you dip your finger in to apply it, and there’s nothing to stop him from applying it on you when he notices that your lips are dry or chapped. his eyes are focused as he drags his finger across your lips, and he has an odd habit of dragging your bottom lip down slightly as a finishing touch. you end up being the one staring, and when he notices, he simply quirks a brow with a smirk and asks, “what? d’you want a kiss?”

© trappolia 2024

he knows that he cares for you more than he should.

and yet how can he resist? you are magnetic. you had managed to see the darkest part of him and go head to head with it. you fought it, and in the process tore down his walls irreparably.

he’ll never admit it, but he is in awe of you. he wouldn’t mind spending more time with you.

ah, but you already have tobio. you’ve already stolen perfect, talented kageyama tobio’s heart. oikawa sees the way you look at kageyama, with muted adoration and pride. you looked at oikawa with fire and something that almost resembles care. and that was all it took to make him fall.

but he would be selfish to tear you away for himself, especially when you already have a soulmate in kageyama. he wishes he could be angry at the setter, at you, and yet you are perfect for each other. he can’t.

so he settles for the teasing insults, the little compliments, and keeps his feelings locked away. you know he’s hiding something, but you don’t push. he’s glad.

it’s better this way.