Friendly And Inquisitive Birds, Carolina Parakeets Are Star Members Of Various Zoological Outreach Programs

Friendly and inquisitive birds, Carolina Parakeets are star members of various zoological outreach programs in the Southeast region of Turtle Island. Their generally gregarious attitude during such demonstrations combines well with their now-ubiquitous nature, allowing children of all ages to connect on a raw emotional level to the natural world around them through positive memories. This connection in turn helps influence attitudes towards habitat conservation, which is monumentally critical as these birds were once nearly wiped out by aggressive encroachment of colonizing Europeans.

no bird today

i just watched the Transformers: The Last Knight movie in a theater where i paid actual real human money dollars to see it and there is nothing left. i am a husk, an empty shell where once a person stood, now eternally hollow as testament to a woman’s hubris, her sheer disbelief that it could not possibly be worse than Age of Extinction.

“And as you can see by my ID card I am in fact a grown adult and so I am very allowed to watch this R-rated movie.”

“You two forgot your trenchcoat.”

“... ... SHIT”

40% of all perched bird sightings in North America are in fact fraudulent due to the work of a rogue Disney Imagineer. Fired for their inability to synchronize motion to audio, they have dedicated their life to proving themself competent by building and installing thousands of animatronic birds in the wild. Above, a facsimile of a Rose-Breasted Grosbeak bobs and sways a half-step out of time with the accompanying audio track.

Rose-breasted Grosbeak

Military Ridge Trail, WI, 5-16-17

“He didn’t!” “He did!” “Well, what did you say?” “I didn’t!” “You didn’t?!” “What was I supposed to say!” you demand, partly exasperated and partly curious as to what the Grackle thinks you should have done. You ended up so weirded out by the conversation that you skipped going to ████████, and instead decided to get trashed back at home with the one friend who didn’t leave.

“I don’t know!” the Grackle responds, “you really should have said SOMETHING though, that’s your problem. You always run away instead of confronting shit. This is exactly like when you caught Jules in bed with Riley, you just got back in your car and left instead of saying a damn thing. When Max got handsy at work what did you do? Not file a harassment report with HR, you just left that job and never came back. I don’t know how you’re supposed to deal with the gas station dude, maybe you, maybe instead of running away like always you should have called him out on his creepy small-town racist schtick?”

You blink, uncertain yourself. Uncertain OF yourself. Do you really run away all the time? That’s not true, you’ve stuck through all sorts of things that made you uncomfortable. Like, that camp your guardian sent you to one summer was truly hellish but you stuck it out, right? Sure you spent most of it at the nurse’s cabin instead of with all the other kids but you had severe allergies and the poison ivy was really bad that year anyway and the ticks kept finding you and besides this is absolutely NOT how a friend would be treating you right now in your hour of need so clearly-

Schtick schtick schtick” the Grackle continues, at this point clearly inebriated, “That’s a word, right? Schtick? It doesn’t... I don’t feel like it means anything right now but it means something, right? I wouldn’t... I wouldn’t know a fake word I know all the words and schtick is a real fake word thats real and isn’t fake. Schtick.”

You leave.

Known for their aerial prowess and territorial nature, Ospreays can often be found nesting atop man-made structures like power poles, antenna towers, and turnbuckles near large bodies of water. While their diet is primarily known to be pescivorous, some unusual specimens have been observed enjoying a cheeky nando’s or digging into a good curry. Above, a male Ospreay hovers in the air, fierce talons at the ready to attack an unwitting Mandrews which has wandered too close to the Ospreay’s nest.