Known To Humanity Since At Least 2100 BCE, Aloeplants Are The Hardy Intrusions Of An Extradimensional

Known to humanity since at least 2100 BCE, Aloe “plants” are the hardy intrusions of an extradimensional Outer God whose name has been lost to time. Filled with a healing ichor, the tentacles of this eldritch entity are kept in kitchens and bedrooms throughout the world as a quick remedy for minor burns and acne. While some may question the wisdom of imprisoning and periodically tearing off the limbs of a being whose totality remains utterly incomprehensible, authorities insist that nothing bad has happened yet.

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what will the last bird be like

This is going to require some clarification I think, since there are plentiform and mutually exclusive ways one could describe a ‘last bird’.If you mean the final species to be grouped into class Aves, then unfortunately I cannot answer the question given I’ve not easy access to a time machine. Life on this rock looks like it’s going to continue for a while and Birds have been around for a hundred million years already so I think regardless of which ones are last classified I think there’ll be more after we extinct ourselves with some trivially avoidable nonsense or other. They did survive the K-T extinction event after all, and I’m not sure what we could do that is worse.This of course leads into the next option of final species of bird that would be classed as Aves if we were still around which again the dearth of chronal displacement devices hampers my ability to answer. I think there were a few episodes of The Future is Wild that dealt with that premise though, so try looking there.

(The Future Is Wild fanart by HydromancerX on DeviantArt)

You could of course be asking after the final specific individual bird who will outlive any other bird (hypothetical or not) in which case they are already alive today. They are immortal and very difficult to solidly comprehend but they are the first and last bird, the beginning and end of conceptual existence for birds and I am in fact writing a guide to them when I have free time. That is The Project that I’ve been mentioning more and more often these days! It’s all very exciting stuff and I can hardly wait to publish my research, but I’m still waiting on a lot of art from semi-licensed field ornithartisans and I’ve got a couple of interviews with survivors of encounters with the bird in question that I need to line up and honestly i am riding that edge of excitement and terror at all times these days because I don’t feel I am anywhere qualified enough to describe the majesty of this bird.Anyway that’s the best answer I can give to your question, sorry I couldn’t be more help!

Cheeky little shits, Grey Catbirds are the “hilarious” pranksters of the bird world. Known for their hurtful pranks and tasteless humour, these japeful jerks have no decency or empathy for their victims. Above, a Grey Catbird laughs at the photographer for once again falling for the old “injured kitten in need of assistance” gag.

okay yes sure you had a good day

BUT

did you get a cool nerf gun?

because i did

i mean yeah i also filled out a bunch of paperwork to get my name/gender marker legally changed but this tiny collapsible nerf gun is the highlight of the day

it’s so clicksome

I really cannot stand speciesist shit like this. We already know why swooping season exists and painting these intelligent and compassionate birds as (to directly quote the article) “foul feathered balls of hate” not only ignores the reality of the situation but also contributes to more violence against Magpies. Human society needs to atone for what they did to these gifted guerrillas. I am not yet an accredited ornithosociodynamicist so I can’t speak as to how exactly how we would go about repairing the extensive damage we have wrought, but I know for a fact that treating them as they are, the rightful inhabitants of the area, will go a long way towards proving our respect.

It’s spring in Australia… which means magpies. This article sums up the situation quite well…

I for one welcome our new feathered overlords.