The Fact That Someone Isn't Pinning Me Down And Sinking Their Teeth In My Neck And Calling Me A Good

The fact that someone isn't pinning me down and sinking their teeth in my neck and calling me a good boy is very disappointing :[

First Writing Thing (Sort of a hurt/comfort/reassurance thing I wrote for myself) CW for Small PTSD Attack and hints to SA Trauma

(Gender Neutral)

I felt the familiar nausea and pain creeping into my chest, I tugged a little at my shirt and they understood what was happening. "Kitten, is it okay if I touch you?" They asked gently, I gave a slight nod, still feeling the nauseous panic but trusting them to not hurt me. They gently pulled me closer to them until I was in their lap, softly humming as they stroked my hair and then whispering softly "You're safe here, Kitten, I promise he can never hurt you again, you're safe" their words were soothing and helped me to calm down just the slightest bit, nuzzling against them a little. "I'm sorry, I ruined it again, I really thought I was ready this time-" I choked out, tears pricking my eyes and softly falling down my face and onto their legs. They gently tilted my chin so I was looking into their eyes "You didn't ruin anything, Kitten, you tried and you're not ready and that's okay, I don't need sex, or anything sexual at all, in order to love you" They gently stroked my cheek and I leaned into it making them smile softly. "I'm still sorry" I breathed out quietly "I feel like you deserve more than someone who's been-" I looked down and away from them as I whispered softly "damaged, used, broken" They sighed and sternly said "Kitten, you are none of those things, and you are so much more than what happened to you, so please don't base your self worth on what that selfish bastard did to you, okay?" I nod, feeling exhausted and cried out as they gently pet my hair once more as I let out a small yawn. "Alright, bed time sleepy kitty" They say gently as they hand me one of my stuffed animals and pull the covers back enough for us to slip inside, them first and then me right after, face pressed against their chest and curled up in a little ball, eyes drifting shut to a final "Goodnight Kitten, love you"

CW for NSFW Rambly Stuff

I have so many days like this where I feel so subby and needy and just want someone to dominate me and call me a good boy and then tease me all day until finally they decide to fuxk me stupid. Especially if I they were a tentacle monster and ovi bred me full of cum and eggs and then told me how good I took it and how obedient I was as they stroke my hair. I have so many mosnterfucker fantasies, could a monster please just come fuxk me silly already?

Might write a lil story about this, im gradually becoming more and more comfortable being an honest lil weirdo on this secret blog of mine lmao

Vent (TW)

Tw for: SH (self harm), Animal Death, PTSD (vague talk of it), Talk of blood tests (brief)

So, this week has been kinda stressful, I've been waiting almost a month to get my T prescription. I got approved, we did a blood test. We sent it the first time, they sent it back, that's normal. We sent it a second time and they sent it back again, and also wanted a blood test to prove that my current Testosterone levels warranted the T prescription in the first place, so I had to do yet another blood test. And now I'm waiting for the word on that blood test. It's very frustrating honestly. And unfortunately today I got triggered pretty bad so I'm having bad PTSD tonight, and I keep getting freaked out and shaking and just not feeling safe. And on November 2nd my dog, who was my absolute entire world and who made my life better in every single way, was hit and killed by a car. He didn't even get to turn one yet. Losing him has probably been the worst thing ever to happen to me, and every bad thing is a million times worse without him here. And i also relapsed recently, again, so now I've only been clean 15 days, which really sucks. And there's even more stressful stuff but it requires more context than I want to give this little blog.

I can't decide whether or not I'm currently wanting to be held gently and praised or fucked mindlessly and degraded a lil bit

pls put your age in bio

Done :D