Happy Birthday To My Beloved Dazai!

Happy Birthday to my Beloved Dazai!

So here I present the AU concept: !IdolDazai

This will be my very first post on Tumblr and the only reason I'm confident enough to post this is because my art got selected along with other actual artists for the Virtual exhibit organized by the Twitter user /@dazaiarchives!

And I want to contribute for the celebration of one of my most favourite fictional character, Oh I love him dearly~

P.S: It took me exactly one month to finish this 🥲

It was inspired by the "BSD COMPASS LIVE, Arena Collab Videos." And please, you can post anywhere but with credit 🥺

So cool~

Suppose I should actually start posting... Here's an animation I made earlier this year for Borahaegas!

Switching from 4x4 to 2x4 on the fly (via)

V can be so V-ish sometimes...😎😏

#THIS #Star-crossed:(

I SO appreciate all of your FMA analysis, it’s so thorough and well-reasoned. I've only read a few posts so far but I'm determined to read them all. I especially loved your Royai post—imo, like you said, it's very clear cut. The fun comes with everyone's different opinions on when (if ever) they get together. In my own mind, for all the danger of the frat regs, they're together by the promised day. Between the touches and the (1/2)

use of kimi/anata, it’s way too intimate to just be “we know we love each other but we’ve never acted on it”. In the ‘To The Promised Day’ game when Riza tells Ed she has someone she’d like to cook for but can’t right now, I (totally self-indulgently) interpret that as “I have someone but we now know that the shadows are literally watching so we can’t interact”. This is definitely asking you to jump from canon text to personal interpretation, but do you have any feelings on their status? (2/2)

Ahhhhhhh thank you so so much for everything!!! Thank you!!! I’m happy you enjoyed my canon Royai post - I worried I didn’t phrase it in a rhetorically strong fashion. But between Vanessa saying Roy’s romantically off-limits because Elizabeth exists, Riza trying to intervene and venting when Mustang goes on a date, Roy’s foster mother suggesting he go “play with” Riza, Riza calling Roy a pronoun used for a husband, and Arakawa saying Royai’s one regulation short of marriage… it’s undeniably canonical. Hell, even just Riza calling Roy “anata” is revealing enough to me. As you say, they show intimacy in their words and actions. In how many fictional stories would you hear “honey” or “dear” affectionately and know what that means? Their relationship is powerful and beautifully written.

I’m touched you’re enjoying my meta. hoards of FMA analyses on tumblr yet. However, I do have more analyses in my drafts, more ideas in my head, and I hope for new prompts. Thank you so much for hopping in with this amazing discussion question on Roy and Riza! I love hearing your perspective, I love interacting with another Royai appreciator, and I love this topic.

I’ve seen lots of discussion, fanart, and fic work on the idea there’s a secret relationship between Royai. There’s certainly appeal to those interpretations. XD As you say, it’s fun to see what peoples’ opinions are here. From how I read it, the entire premise of Royai is mutualromantic interest that can never be acted upon or fulfilled.

Both Mustang and Hawkeye have chosen to pursue a lifelong militarycareer path - or, at least in the case of Riza, for as long as ittakes Mustang to become Führer. They’ve chosen to take this long road together.It’s unlikely that, even if Mustang and Hawkeye do everything right, theirgoals will come to fruition; they don’t know if Roy will surpass allcompetition and become the country’s next ruler (I’m talking before Grumman takes control - then it’s clear Roy’s going to get there). The point is both Roy and Riza find this goal so important that they’ll dedicate their lives’ efforts to the possibility. Neither feel they canretire from the military because of this goal’s import.

When Riza informs Ed about Ishval in Vol. 15-16, she not only details some events, but helps Edunderstand how those events impacted her and Mustang - how those events continueto impact them. Ed learns Mustang’s motivation to become Führer: totake responsibility for Amestrian military sins like Ishval, and to steer the country so it won’t repeat tragedy. In this scene, Hawkeye doesn’t directly tell Edward what Roy’s reasonsare, speaking from her own heart and philosophy… but Ed seems to pick up theimplication that these are Mustang’s desires, too. And when Ed talks to Mustanglater about Ishval, Roy seems to understand why Ed would demand he make the country a democracy. What Riza’s telling Ed here are likely thingsshe and Roy have talked about and believe together.

And here’s where we get critical information aboutMustang and Hawkeye’s goals:

Edward: I know Colonel Mustang intends to be the next Führer,but even if he succeeds, as long as this country remains a militarydictatorship, it’s only a matter of time before there’s another civil war ormore conflict with rival nations. Maybe he’ll do a better job of protecting thecountry, but in the end, we’ll still end up killing countless people from othercountries!Hawkeye: That’s true. Our first priority should be to restore power tothe parliament – which is just the military’s puppet right now – and move thiscountry towards true democracy. Then we can negotiate with other nations toreduce our armaments and search for a way that we can all survive. Maybe that’sthe only way. Arms reduction means abolishing the state alchemist system aswell.Edward: I see… Hold on! That means…Hawkeye: Yes. Those who were praised as heroes during wartime will beseen as murderers when there’s peace. Not only the colonel, but people like Dr.Knox, who conducted experiments on human beings. I, too, might end up on trialsfor the injustices that I committed in Ishval. Our uniforms are all that’sprotecting us now.Edward: The colonel knows that, but he’s still aiming for the top? Butthat’s a path to suicide, isn’t it?!Hawkeye: He swore to protect those below him. Knowing him, he’ll use anymeans necessary to defend his subordinates from being implicated.Edward: But… the cause of the civil war was Envy shooting and killingthat Ishvalan child. The homunculi were the ones who were pulling allthe strings from the shadows! It’s not fair that the colonel and you should bethe ones who are punished!Hawkeye: The homunculi may have started the war, but we were theones who carried it out. The colonel, myself, and undoubtedly Brigadier GeneralHughes must have felt the same way. We ended the lives of countless people. We don’t have the right to choose when we end our own lives. That’s why, at thevery least, we want the next generation to be able to laugh and live a happyexistence.Edward: But… that’s not fair… that’s not right! Of course you want theworld to be a better place. But don’t you want to be happy too!?Self-sacrifice is more than self-gratification!Hawkeye: This isn’t about martyrdom. Because we survived Ishval, we feelthis is our duty.

This isn’t the only time Hawkeye and Mustang espouse this philosophy. When Hawkeye meets in Mustang’s office shortly after Ishval, she speaks many of the same ideas - the idea that “we must carry corpses on our back across a river of blood.” Mustang agrees with her, silently; that’s when he asks her to be his adjutant. And when Mustang suggests Ed join the military, he speaks words clearly inspired by Hawkeye’s idea - “If the possibility is there, you should move forward… even though the way ahead is through a river of mud.” And at FMAB’s end, Team Mustang talk about how they can’t undo their sins but can do what’s in their power to restore Ishval.

So it’s clear. Hawkeye and Mustang understand there is nothingthey can do to erase their past sins. They will always be mass murderers,terrorists, soldiers who enacted genocide. The dead cannot be brought back tolife and Ishvalans will forever be impacted by what Amestrian soldiers did. Youcan try to make redeeming reparations all you like, but even with a lifetime ofservitude, you can’t bring back death, destruction, lost homes, lost familymembers, lost security, lost… everything. However, at the same time, Hawkeyeand Mustang know that, even if they can’t fulfill “reparations” for theirwrongs, they can take responsibility for these wrongs.

And that’s exactly what they plan to do in the path to makeMustang Führer.

Roy Mustang doesn’t want power forself-serving reasons. Going back to Vol. 15-16 of the manga, in this conversation Riza gives with Edward… we know Roy iswilling to give up everything that’s provided him power, money, andsuccess: he’s willing to give up being a State Alchemist. He’s willing to decrease his own control and empower the parliament. He’s willing to reducemilitary strength to provide peace with neighboring countries. He’s willing tobring about his own execution if it means that Amestris can find its peace. Both Mustang and Hawkeye understand that, in murdering countlesslives, they forfeited the right to live long, happy lives; they deservecapital punishment and will accept that justice if their mission leads themthere.

So… what does this have to do with Royai romance?

Hawkeye and Mustang are willing to sacrifice everything tomake this duty/goal come to fruition. Riza tells Winry she hates soldiers, but willwillfully pull the trigger so long as Mustang’s trying to rise in rank. Rizawon’t leave the military because there’s something more important: preventinganother Ishval. Riza implies to Ed that Mustang will choose to walk into hisown execution if need be because there’s something more important: preventinganother Ishval. Riza admits she doesn’t even deserve to choose her own death. Why would she believe she could choose a forbidden romance when she’s living with these sins she needs to address? Thesetwo feel such strong responsibility for the actions they committed in Ishvalthat… they will sacrifice the happier life they might have had instead.

I believe that part of what they’ve sacrificed is thehappiness they could have had with each other romantically.

Hawkeye even tells Ed that she wants the current generation to be happy, but that it’s her duty to make Ishval right rather than take on a life of happiness herself.

Going against anti-fraternization regulations creates risk onits own, as I know you know. Furthermore, Mustang may be cunning and Hawkeye might be brilliant, but people already know Roy and Riza are close. Vanessa knows Roy’s romantically off-limitsbecause Riza exists. Chris knows Roy’s heart lies with Riza. Fuery and Falmanhave seen Riza… vent… when Roy goes on a date with another woman. Grumman seems to know what’s up. During thePromised Day, Ed and Scar might as well have watched a love confession. Bradley,the gold-toothed alchemist, Envy, Lust… they all pick up Royai are emotionally close. Entering a secret, policy-forbidden romance isdoubly-dangerous because they’d already be suspected.

Even if no one would suspect anything, it’s not something I cansee either Roy or Riza risking. To go back to what I was saying before, they’re willing to sacrifice their comfort - even their lives - for the purpose of a greater cause: repairing the countryfrom genocide and preventing wars. If they’re willing to lose their lives for this, they’re going to sacrifice romantic happiness, too. It’s a nobrainer which is more important. Romance is a trivial, selfish, unnecessary joy for a pair of sinners who deserve death… it’s nothing compared to the mission of restoring a war-torn nation. They’re both livingwith the burden of massacre. They both feel the need to fix this, andthey both have chosen to right their wrongs together. But entering a secretromance that goes against military policy would be to jeopardize their ownlifelong goals. With one slip-up, they could place both their careers injeopardy - and through that, make it less likely for Mustang to reach Führer. Riza tells Ed where her priorities lie - with that duty - and that’s the path Royai will take without compromise.

Riza and Roy have chosen this path. They’ve chosen to gothrough it together. They know without asking that the other won’t give this up. They’re of one mind.

I don’t even think Mustang and Hawkeye have had the conversationabout romantic yearnings versus duty and career. They understand one another so well verbalcommunication would be unneeded. There’s no reason to mention they love eachother but can’t enter a relationship. They know their situation. All they do is continue striding forward, keeping professional,and hoping that one day Mustang’s goal may be achieved.

Only then - if at all - might they have a chance to be together. But I’m guessing not then, either. Hawkeye will need to be a bodyguard all the more if Mustang becomes the most powerful man in Amestris. Their goal still won’t be done; policies will need to be changed; I can’t see Hawkeye laying down her weapon even after Mustang takes control.

The Promised Day, as you brought up, is of course where theyslip the most in professionalism and notably demonstrate affections.Roy’s commonly calling Riza “kimi” and Riza’s fucking using second-person pronouns like they’remarried. Roy says “I can’t afford to lose you” and, in FMAB at least, almost cries when she liesin blood before him. The amount of physical contact escalates ridiculously:Roy embraces Hawkeye and holds onto her when she’s injured; Roy holds onto heruntil he tries to fight Bradley; Roy grabs her hand and puts his arm around hershoulder after he’s gone blind; Riza places her hands on his shoulders andchest during the fight with Father; Riza keeps her hand on his arm even after the battle’sended. It’s not constant physical contact, but it’s pretty darned close.I’m almost confident it’s the most physical contact any two FMA characters manifest during a stretched period of time.

It’s - as you say - pretty intimate.

I stock it up to several reasons.

The first is that it’s necessary. They’re steeling themselves through the most dangerous mission of their lives. They need emotional support to keep up mental strength. And they also get injured, so half of holding onto each other is needed physical assistance. It might show affection, but it’s also needed affection, given circumstances.

Next, Royai have a history of showing more care if the other’s in danger. Roy freaks out when Riza’s phonegoes silent (because Gluttony attacked her). He losesany sense of logic – all he cares about is reaching Hawkeye before she might die. Hawkeye screams bloody murder and shoots everybullet from every gun she has when Lust says Mustang’s dead. Royai bothbreak emotionally when Hawkeye thinks she might have to kill him. The PromisedDay is a harrowing experience for Royai - I’d say Arakawa picks on them mostof any of the good guys in this arc - in which Roy emotionally breaksdown three separate times in three separate ways, both nearly die, theyget separated, and Mustang goes blind. It’s no wonder that Royai are going to forget their cool and express theiraffections… this is the exact sort of dangerous scenario in which we know they showtheir hearts on their sleeves. They can’t help it, entirely - they’re emotionally compromised.

But even moreso, I think there’s implicit understanding goingon. If today’s mission doesn’t succeed, nothing matters. Hawkeye’sdefected from her post; they kidnapped the Führer’s wife; they fought againstAmestrian soldiers; they’re branded as traitors of the military. For all we knowof Amestrian law, those crimes could be serious enough for a firing squad. Roy and Riza are fullyaware of what they’ve done. They know there’s a chance that, even if theydefeat Father and save Amestris - yay! - they could lose their positions in the military… plus other serious judicial repercussions. If they’re branded as heroes instead, no one’s going to pay attention to small details of well-behaved, slightly-romantic-tinged mild behaviors that don’t even include a kiss and might not even spark anti-frat frowns in peaceful times. No one’s going to remember Royai’s expressions at the end of the Amestrian apocalypse. Anti-frat ain’t anything now. The mission is all that matters.

In the face of all this, and trying to steel themselvesthrough a terrifying ordeal that could lead to the end of 5 million lives… what’sthe matter with being slightly more physically affectionate? They’re trying to survivehere, they’re trying to make sure the entire country survives. In the faceof Hawkeye’s near-death or Roy’s loss of eyesight, they’re not going to besitting there thinking about “oh nooooo anti-frat rules!” They’re going to beoperating on emotion and fear for one another’s well-being. They never losethemselves and get over-the-top touchy, they never probably dither internallyabout “is it okay to hold his shoulder…?” …but they subconsciously understandthey’re operating in such a high-stakes moment that an arm around the shoulderis nothing. In fact, it’s something good - it’s something to keep theother stabilized and going forward with their mission.

I think most subconscious fucks are lost especially by thetime Roy’s blind. I bet they both subconsciously know that, short of a miracle, Roy’s military career is over. Soldiers without theireyesight are discharged. Roy can’t retire in the middle of the country’slargest battle - he’s still a colonel here and now - but the endis in sight (or… um… the end is in “not-sight” hehhh). So who cares if Hawkeye touches him? He’s not going to be her superior in a few days so far as situations seem. There’s no point worrying about EXTREMELY unimportant anti-fraternization rules when Father’s become a god and Mustang won’t be in the physical position to continue his career once the fight is won.

All that matters to them, at the climax of the Promised Day,is making it through the “now.”

And the way to make it through the “now” is by beingtogether.

Supporting each other together. Fighting together.

The Promised Day is a point where I see Roy and Riza actingon feelings they’ve already felt, but manifesting them outwardly in ways they haven’t before. There’s never been a safe chance for them to open up. But now, the combination of circumstances naturally, subconsciously pulls new expressions out of the usually reserved Royai. If not for the fact Mustang’s eyes get healed, this would have beenthe perfect opening for them: finally, they’ve emotionally expressed their hearts foreach other and entered unprecedented amounts of mutual physicalcontact. This would be the opening needed for Royai to transition into anopenly romantic relationship.

Except it doesn’t.

Because Roy finds a way to stick in the military… and they’reback to their original goal.

A goal which doesn’t allow them to be romantic. A goal whichwould be jeopardized if they were romantic. A goal which both find moreimportant than being romantic.

For me personally, that’s the beauty of how they’re written. It’s frustrating that they can’t be together, but it’s also what makes them good. For me, interpreting them as together in canon events, even as a secret relationship, undermines what’s so poignantly powerful and unique about Royai’s romance. I love imagining a Royai marriage and Royai kids and Royai everything sooo much, of course. XD But as far as extrapolating from canon, this is how I veer myself, and how I think Arakawa intended to veer.

It’s what makes all those moments more tragic, more emotional to me, when Hawkeye talks about how she can’t cook for a special someone. When Mustang says he’ll take Vanessa on a date anytime. It’s because we know that, despite their deep ongoing love for each other, Roy and Riza can never act on it. 

It’s part of the consequences they sealed themselves into the day they stepped into Ishval.

#Same #Loml #lol

This is exactly how writing every single one of my papers in college went down.