Interviewer: Why Do You Think Spider-Man Is Such An Important Part Of The MCU, Because There May Be Be

Interviewer: Why do you think Spider-Man is such an important part of the MCU, because there may be be a little divorce happening.

Jeff Goldblum: ???

Off the Deep End

Grouping: Reader x Mermaid!Yoongi, mentions of Reader and other member

Word Count: ~17.5k

Warnings/Themes: Kissing, sex explanation, p*rn mention, fwb???, Interspecies intercourse!! (because Yoongi has a fish d*ck), penetrative sex, biting (+ tiniest blood mention), loss of virginity, a** play mention, some angst, some pining

Summary: Your new mermaid friend, Yoongi, helps you navigate the treacherous waters of love, sex, and National Geographic.

Part of the Masterlist for Group 2 of the @btssmutclub Summer Project

“—and then she asked me if I would be able to come by her studio. She said I would make, and I quote, ‘an amazing addition to her portfolio.’”

The smile on your friend’s face is dazzling even through the grainy filter that late evening Skype calls on a shitty webcam lay over her face. The smile bleeds into her voice and her words which are lightning fast at this point in the call. She’s been talking for only a few minutes now about how the summer is treating her, but you feel like you’ve been on quite a ride. From her story so far you can tell that in no time she’ll check off her half of the summer bucketlist you made together. Your half of the list was much less adventurous than hers: have a summer fling and get a professor to offer you a researching job for the school year in the fall. You figure you might get the second one checked off if you play your cards right this summer. It’s only the middle of the second week of your research volunteership at the marine lab at BTU, the local research university where you’d start attending college after the summer ends. But you feel as though you’ll never get both your goals completed.

“That’s really great, Jay.”

The pride in your voice is genuine, but it’s dampened with a thick shell of self-pity. A tone that Jay picks up on instantly. Her eyes narrow and you’re about to assure her that you’re fine, but she beats you to the punch.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” you duck your head to avoid her gaze and dig your fingers into your old tie-dye t-shirt.

“I know that’s not true. Don’t try to lie to me, I see straight through that crap.”

“I just wish I was a bit more like you, that’s all.

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La Douleur Exquise Pt 1 | Incubus!Yoongi AU

➵ summary: in which you accidentally summon an incubus in the middle of your shitty apartment and he won’t leave until you agree to have sex with him. until then, min yoongi, incubus extraordinaire, is now your sexually promiscuous and grumpy roommate. aka, the incubus au no one fucking asked for. ➵ warnings: demon summonings, lots of swearing, and a grumpy min yoongi (what’s new?) ➵ genre: fluff, angst, humor, eventual smut (none in this chapter!) ➵ words: 6.2K ➵ a/n: the preview got such good responses that I had to finish this right away! hope it stands up to your expectations! enjoy! 

➵ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6

In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea trying to recreate an ancient demon-summoning circle in the middle of your living room. If anyone asked you what had possessed you to do so regardless, you’d point fingers at your history professor for assigning the task in the first place. Although, you might concede that he didn’t technically ask you to assemble the summoning circle; all you were assigned to do was do some research about ancient summoning techniques with five to ten sources maximum. The problem with the assignment lied with the latter part of the requirements: the motherfucking references.

No matter how hard you tried to search for reliable photographs of professionally reenacted summoning circles, none of significant quality had popped up anywhere. You were seriously starting to consider attaching some DeviantArt fanart by the time you had reached page 67 on the Google search page.

In short, you were desperate—and desperation meant that you didn’t really think things through.

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💙💙💙

Bangtan Springs Series

Welcome to Bangtan Springs, a quaint little town with all of your big city needs, without the population or pollution. While you’re here, check out some of our local favorites! We hope you enjoy your stay, and find something worth blogging about, whether it be the men or their businesses.

Tequila Mockingbird - Bookstore Worker & Bartender Jungkook

Although Jungkook will never admit it, he needs help running Tequila Mockingbird, his newly renovated bookstore with a twist. That’s where you, the best bartender in the neighborhood, come into play. He needs someone to teach him how to make more than just a basic cocktail. You don’t mind the extra side job; not when you’re basically getting paid to stare at the good-looking book nerd.

Dew Me - Florist Taehyung

You just bought the tattoo parlor next door to the local floral shop and you think it’s hilarious how red the florist gets everytime you go in to flirt with him. Taehyung is shy so he’d never tell you that he’s attracted to you, even though you confuse the hell out of him since you’re always really sweet, but then you are also covered in tattoos and ride that death-trap of a motorbike. So all he ever does is give you a new flower as a parting gift each day, hoping that you’ll eventually come to the conclusion of what each flower means.

coming soon~

The Daily Grain - Baker & Sandwich Maker Jimin

Ever since you found out that you inherited your Gran’s house after she passed away, you decided to move back to Bangtan Springs. Stuck between keeping the house or putting it up for sale, you’ve been spending a lot of time at The Daily Grain, a cute little bakery with an even cuter bread boy that makes the best danishes to cheer you up. And what’s better than eating your feelings when you don’t know what to do?

coming soon~

Grind My Gears - Coffee Master & Bicycle Mechanic Namjoon

Namjoon is your jerk of a barista who purposely messes up your name any way that he can when you order your fix from his coffee and bike shop. But that’s alright, because you know that the perfect way to get back at him is to constantly request his services just to annoy him, and he can’t necessarily say no without losing business since you’re the column writer at the The Bangtan Springs Daily, the local newspaper. You have the power to make or break his business, and he sure as hell knows it.

coming soon~

Breathe & Balance - Hot Yoga Instructor Hoseok

You didn’t know that Hoseok was your new yoga instructor, which is kind of awkward since you had sex last night and your friends keep asking about how your ‘date’ went. It also doesn’t help that this hot yoga class has everyone drenched in sweat and seeing Hoseok like that keeps giving you flashbacks to last night, and neither are the looks that he keeps giving you.

coming soon~

Time To Dye - Hair Stylist Yoongi

Time To Dye is a popular A-list hair salon owned by the one and only Min Yoongi. He’s known to be a mysterious guy with a cold heart, and he just so happens to be your new boss starting later today. Too bad you didn’t realize when you were cussing a dude out for spilling coffee all over you that it was actually him, with different hair of course. Now here you are standing in front of him, only instead of firing your ass, he’s smirking. Oh boy.

coming soon~

A Tailored Tumble - Dry Cleaner & Tailor Seokjin

Your younger sister’s wedding is coming up soon, and you’re pretty sure your five year old son had another growth spurt, which normally wouldn’t be a big deal but since he’s the ring bearer it kind of is. Especially if he grew out of the suit you had already bought for this occasion. And if he doesn’t fit it anymore, you might just rip your hair out. Luckily, you know a really handsome tailor that can whip up a new one pretty quickly, so it looks like you’ll be spending a lot of time at his shop these next couple weeks.

coming soon~

a kitten 🥺