Hey, Look, I've Been Thinking About This For A While, And I Think I Need To End Things Between Us. It's

Hey, look, I've been thinking about this for a while, and I think I need to end things between us. It's been fun, really fun. But I can't comprehend your true form like at all, and that's a real stumbling block for me in a relationship. I mean, youre a great...entity, that's not the problem, I mean, you keep me up at night, I can't get you outta my head, but I need substance in a relationship and all the trances and wailing in tongues are starting to get in the way of my growth as a person. Much as I'd like to remain friends, well, my retinas are crusting over and I think it would be best to have a clean break.

Poorf! *Summons a frog onto your head* (it is polite but uncomfortably Moist.)

You come into my house? Unsalt my stew?

You can't unsalt a stew, my friend.

You can't. Unsalt. A stew.

U say ur an anarchist. And yet, you hate toddlers. You roll your eyes and puff and moan, call them crotch goblins and worse, but Why? Because you don't have the guts to bellow out your agony in the middle of the Subway line? Because somewhere deep inside you fear the consequences of knocking over the Walmart shelves and bringing the whole system flaming to the ground? You hate them because they live your life's truth better than you ever will, and you know it.

The algorithm finally gets me.