-Maybe

————-Maybe————

Description:

You work alongside Matt and Foggy at the law firm. Of course, as one of the most successful lawyers in the city the one and only Tony Stark would recruit you. As you are trying to find a meaning of your life you find life in someone. It may be a rocky start for you two but maybe it’s worth taking.

Chapter 6:

“I wonder if he wants kids” I have been listening to this for the past hour since we got her. Lydia was like her little doll. Wanda was changing her into different outfits she has knitted in her free time while I just lay in my bed trying to rest my eyes.

“You could always try it out with him”

“I bet he would be a good dad” there it is again. She is used to my sarcasm so she now just ignores my remarks without flinching. She knows I don’t mind, like I know she won’t stop until all her thoughts are said outloud. “With his background he would be the overprotective father who only loves his family. A family man” She is a little right. I think Bucky would be a good dad. He would struggle with things but I only hope that with the love of whoever he finds he will get through it to live a life he deserves.

“How many kids do you want?” That's when my phone begins to ring. I whisper a thank you to Tony.

“We are coming up. Get to the conference room” not another word was said as the phone died on the other end.

“Tony is back. Would you mind taking care of her for a while?”

“No, of course not go” I jumped off the bed making sure Lydia was alright before leaving to the conference room. When I walk in I see pictures already on the big screen. The doctor connected to another man connected to another man and a big warehouse.

“So apparently Doctor Monday was getting blackmailed. Of couse we are not going to rule him out because he might just be pointing fingers. This man is Justice Kidd.” He was a young brunette with dark eyes. “He was the Romeo in his story. Committed sucide after finding out his juliette had died.” Jessica. “His father is the one who has been blackmailing Monday. He also said he would begin to threaten his life if he didn’t continue paying.”

“So you offered him protection and he just began to talk?”

“I didn’t even have to offer him anything. He said he had lost everything and agreed to cooperate with us. Police put him under their protection.”

“ I did some research and that is where they tend to hang out” Nat points at the warehouse. “We will go in and capture the guy and have him confess. See how everything is linked”

“Okay. So when do we start?”

“Y/n, no offense but we don’t want you to come. It's for your protection” Bullshit. Before I could complain Wanda walks in with Lydia.

“They're right. If Kidd knows we know then he will do anything to put an end to this. I bet he had more under his sleeve than a bomb.”

“Wanda is right. You need to stay here and keep you and the baby safe” This is a sight I never thought would happen. Tony playing with a baby. Talking in a baby voice not even towards her but to us. “We will go in there and make sure he talks. Nat. Wanda. Steve and I will go”

“Who is going to stay behind with them?” Steve butts in.

“Well Bruce will be in his lab if anything happens and flash here also” Pietro raises his hand like if we were taking roll call. “But they will be back up because our other super soldier will be just fine.” I didn’t think he believed his own words either. “Oh and Vis” I chuckle at his words seeing Vision pass through the wall.

“Okay. I'll be in the command room if anything happens” Tony nods. I grab Lydia from Wanda. I wonder why Matt or any of the group haven’t contacted me. I open my door only to see Bucky standing on a ladder in the corner of my door. “Now it's a prison. I have a guard outside my door and now a camera” He looks down at me with that stupid grin. If I push one leg of the stairs enough, he wouldn’t get a serious injury right?

“It's attached to a sensor too. I can tell who comes in and out of your room” Thats a psycho move.

“When you’re finished can you bring up some popcorn, milk and those banana treats Sam likes” I open the door passing by him carefully.

“I'm pretty sure after almost 100 years, babies can’t eat popcorn this young” I roll my eyes at him. By this rate my eyes might actually get stuck.

“The popcorn is for me. Thanks” I smile before another door slams on his face. I place Lydia on the carpet while I pick out a movie. I am the worst at picking something. It doesn’t matter if it is a movie, song, color, or basically anything else. I could spend 2 hours trying to decide. “Lydia, what movies would you like?” I grab her, placing her on the bed while scrolling through the options. I have seen all of them. Tangle. Tiana. Snow white. Belle. Wall-E. I like music. Something with a storyline that makes me change my perspective. Maybe one where talking animals don’t exist. Or.

“I brought your popcorn” I can hear the irritation in his voice but I didn’t care. “I only put a little butter because I didn’t know how you liked it” Damn. I grab the popcorn, setting it on the side table where he placed the milk too. I start preparing Lydias bottle. “You have been in here for over 30 minutes and still haven’t picked out a movie?”

“I don’t think it's none of your business but we have a hard time choosing. It has to be a perfect one”

“Don’t blame this on the babe. She is fast asleep” I turn to look at him and see he is right. I didn’t notice she fell asleep in the course of me trying to find a movie. Then my attention falls on Bucky. He moves her so she can be comfortably laying down without the pillow but when he moves his hand from patting her she starts crying. “What do I do?” I almost burst out laughing.

“Keep on patting her tummy. Here” I handed him her bottle which he took. “Carefully place it so she can eat” His eyes were like a deer in the headlights. I groaned. Shit. I climbed into the bed beside Lydia and grabbed Bucky’s hand that was holding the bottle and smoothly placed it so she could eat. “There you go” I grab the remote and try to look for a movie again.

“Can you grab her bottle a bit?, If I am going to do this I want to be comfortable” I look over nodding, replacing my hand with his. The bed moves a little and as I think he is going to take the bottle again he takes the remote. “Before you say anything, I will not be staying here while you flip through movies. I will pick the movie” I roll my eyes once again focusing on the tv. “Heard this was a good one” i hear a well known song as the intro begins and I know what it is. Sound of music. We didn’t speak as the movie continued. My mind was going in and out between the movie and the mission. I finally decided to make my way down to the commands I heard a quiet snore. Bucky fell asleep next to the baby. That means I can go and check on the team without having to wake up Lydia. But first I move over to the nightstand beside Bucky. I grab his phone and turn it off. I can’t have whatever alarm goes off with that sensor.

“Tony what's going on?” It's been almost 2 hours since they started the mission and I haven’t gotten an update yet.

“It took us longer than expected. We underestimated his protection.” I interfere with the computer so I was able to see each of them through the cameras.

“Tony, you need to get them out of there now!” I was seeing the infrared map of the building and multiple factors were moving straight to them and trust me when I say, they aren’t human.

“We can take them, we are so close” I could hear the rackes on the other side. He is a stubborn man.

“Tony if there is a percentage of how close you have gotten you know what it would be right now?”

“Don’t say it!”

“17%. Get them out now!” Who would know this underground bunker would be a maze. There is more to this guy than him being a simple criminal.

“On it” then it goes radio silent. The cameras are broken or went out of signal. I almost wanted to throw the keyboard across the room. My anxiety doesn’t allow me to just go back to Lydia and Bucky and just wait until they get back. I pull out my phone and dail the only number I know would get me the answers I needed.

“Tony said you would call”

“Maria I need to know if he actually went back” I get into the elevator and press the roof button. The phone goes silent and my question is answered. “Send address to the pilot”

“Y/N don’t do anything stupid” I felt like this was once in a lifetime opportunity to respond with, stupid is my middle name.

“Don’t worry. This whole thing should have involved me more than just sitting around while they did everything.” I hear the ding and the helicopter is already going. When I climb in I see Vision sitting in the passenger seat. I didn’t even ask. The pilot takes off and my conversation with Maria is long finished.

“What is the plan Miss Y/L/N?” I hear Vis voice through the headphones.

“I will infiltrate the building as subtly as possible. Try to figure out where the Kidd is and take him in. While you go, find the team and help them as much as possible.” I don’t know what those things were I saw on the screen but we can’t let the work go to waste so fast. If it's taking us this much to capture one guy imagine how hard it's going to be next time we try when he knows we are coming for him. “Put some speed in this thing” the pilot nods. No matter if it was May, the air felt colder as we grew near.

“You are going to have to jump now!” Vis and I jump off. Of course she could fly so I had to use a parachute. We were atleast 5 miles away from the warehouse.

“Vis go!” Vision hesitated for a second before leaving. After getting my degree I had my mind set on working for the Fbi. I got into the program and went into training. Although I was going to go under law with them I took an intetiative to maybe learn something else while being there. I learned combat but perfected it while training with Matt. Operational and firearm trainging and perfected that with the help of Nat and Clint. I never thought of myself as an agent or someone who would fight bad guys for a living, well technically I fight criminals but that's besides the point. I just like to learn things. Like how I am fluent in two languages, Spanish and english. I want to start a third but I don’t know which one yet, but that's something to pick at a later time. I hear chaos from afar arriving next to an unsecure door. Once inside the building I hook up my transmitter, hopefully getting a signal and connecting with the others. The corridors are empty and now I can’t hear any type of noise. “Maria, can you hear me?”

“Barely. Y/N, you need to get out of there. I tried to connect with anyone but I haven’t gotten a response” A cold feeling down my spine was the last thing I needed.

“Maria. I need you to tell me where to go. I need to find myself out of this maze.” I was still walking throught the long corridor. Doors and doors for days. All around me was white and I couldn’t see the end of the hallway.

“Stop. Go back 2 doors down.” I followed her instructions and that led me to some stairs. “Go down the stairs and I only see a big opening. Be careful” I nod like if she could see me but honestly the nerves were killing me because I hadn’t done anything like this before. I was better with my words and getting people to see my way, not going into danger or fighting with my hands. Fuck.

————-Maybe————

Description

You work alongside Matt and Foggy at the law firm. Of course, as one of the most successful lawyers in the city the one and only Tony Stark would recruit you. As you are trying to find a meaning of your life you find life in someone. It may be a rocky start for you two but maybe it’s worth taking.

Chapter 8:

After that night, well I should say day. After that day things changed. Kidd was going on trial for the murders and you bet your ass I was going to be there fighting for Mr. Miller. I moved back to my apartment and with a little help from Wanda and Karen I organized my schedule with Lydia. It has only been a day and I feel like dying. I moved back in the morning and by lunch time I was back in the office with the team. That afternoon after getting everything situated on things I missed Karen picked up Lydia from Wanda and brought her to stay in the office while we started our case on Kidd. Lydia was typically a good baby but when the attention was all on her or when she was sleeping. I had to leave early so now I am stuck at home with a baby. Nat was okay. A little help from Bruce goes a long way. Tony offered to extend my stay but I explained to him there was no need anymore. “Yes you can have Lydia while I see her” Wanda called me as soon as I got home. Talking my ear off and now she offered herself again to keep an eye out on Lydia so I can go to therapy. I am so thankful for her and Karen but god, it's 7 and it's been a long day and all I want to do is lay down and sleep.

“Great. I will be there at 9 to pick her up. After your appointment can you accompany me to mine?”

“Of course Wanda. Now get some rest”

“But it's just-” I hung up the phone before she could continue talking. “Ready to go to sleep?” I ask an already asleep baby. She skipped her nap thankfully so she was out like a light once I placed her in her playmat. I grabbed her and gently placed her on my bed and created a fort around her. It feels nice spending the night back home. I took a quick shower and went to bed.

In the morning of course Lydia decided to wake me up at 7 in the morning. “You are messing up my schedule, did you know that?” She responded with a cry. “Okay, okay. Let's get you some food.” a quick change and on our way to the kitchen we go. “I don’t have a chair for you” Can’t have her on her playmat, she might learn how to crawl and it's not safe for a baby here. “Guess you are going to be my suchef” I place a 2 slice of bread in the toaster while holding her bottle with my shoulder so I could use my only available arm to make my breakfast. A strawberry toast will be enough for this morning.

“Hey-” I am grateful my friends have a second sense. “That baby on your hip looks out of order” I roll my eyes at Matt. I kind of hope now the knife I threw at him wouldn’t have missed.

“Shut up. You scared me. Here” I extend Lydia to him and push her into his arms. “Let me wash her bottle so I can get ready” With the scare I dropped her bottle. “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking up on you” I know by his look that there was more to his story but I didn’t have time for it right now. I hand him the bottle and as he begins feeding Lydia I start on my toast. “Haven’t seen you in days other than yesterday, just wanted to check in.”

“Well everything seems to be back to normal, other than the baby of course.” She is such a good baby. Ugh.

“What's wrong?” I shake my head ignoring him as I walk into my room. I go into my room to get ready. Once I am done I pack up Lydias diaper bag and grab her some clothes so I can change her into some more appropriate summer clothing. By that time the clock hit 8:40. “I should get going. Someone has to do all the work in the office”

“Tony invited me over for lunch. I will be in this afternoon so show you I can do all the work you did in a week in just an hour” With a laugh he walks out the door just in time for Wanda to show up.

“Is the little girl ready?” Before I could get her up and hand her over to Wanda she dropped all her things to pick her up. “Aww where did you get this dress?” It was an all white with white flower detailing dress.

“Long story. It's a keepsake.”

“Umm. Ok” I don’t know if she just didn’t want to ask or if she just wanted to get back to Lydia but usually she would persist until I tell her.

“She already downed her first milk. I will be back around 10:30. So if you just want to give her a snack in the span of that”

“Got it” I chuckle, grabbing my things and saying my goodbyes. Took my 15 minutes to be at her office door knocking.

“Goodmorning Y/N please take a seat” I feel like a little kid waiting to be told wrong everytime I am on this couch. “How are you?” I hate this conversation starters

“Good. Can we get through this please?”

“Very well” she opens her notepad and prepares her pen. “I hear the latest on your case” fuck.

“Yes. Bad guy tried to kill me just like he killed innocent people. In the middle of all that I got the guardianship of Mr. Miller's baby, that is until her grandparents come and picked her up. Bad guy is in jail. The end”

“Are you doing okay with all of that?”

“Yes. Bad guy in jail so no more threats to my life. Baby is an adjustment but in a couple days it will be resolved” There it is, the first note in her notepad. I think we spent the whole session talking about the case and how I was feeling every second until now. I know how I felt. Maybe I didn’t take the right actions towards every feeling but I have to admit taking the time to associate myself with what has happened in the past days was good for me.

“It seems like the baby bothers you more than the whole threat towards your life” that is crazy. “Remember you have a difficult time understanding feelings” Bullshit. “Also remember to listen and not denie or fight against my words” Fuck.

“The baby will be off to her grandparents soon, no need to care for it if it's stay is temporary” it's true. I like the little baby but I am just her pitstop to people who will love and care for her better than I could ever do.

“You are correct but you also know this has to do with your feeling towards change?” How dare she ask me. Ain’t she the therapist to figure this out? “With the session you have taken you have shown aggression but at the same time sadness at change. You can’t accept it.” Wrong

“Okay I will work on that” Check. The topic is getting frustrating and I tend to let it out with words so to save her and me of any embarrassment I prefer changing the subject.

“Alright we will move on” Another note to her notepad. “So last time we spoke about your past. You didn’t want to get into it a lot but you did tell me something I didn’t catch on until now” Fuck. I said too much. “You don’t want to go back home, why?”

“I have a life here already. Nothing is waiting for me back there and if this is all about honestly well, that place is not my home. It's just that, a place”

“Even a place can hold a lot of answers. I think for this session you can take a visit back home. Take your time but I don’t want you to come back until you do” Hell yeah. That can be days, weeks, mon- “Never mind. I will give you till this weekend to do that” She rushes me to the door and I couldn’t even talk back as the door meets my face. What just happened? There is no way in hell I can do that this weekend. I let that go to the back of my mind. It's Tuesday and I still have 3 days until then, I will figure something out before then. I drive down to my house and see Wanda playing with Lydia on the ground.

“She didn’t want to take a nap”

“As long as she is not crying and grumpy” And no she was not. “Ready to go?” Wanda nods, placing Lydia in her car seat. “Where are we going anyways?”

“It's a surprise” This surprise didn’t last long. As soon as we parked right infront of it and she took one look at my face waiting for my reaction I knew I guessed right. How could she have kept this a secret? Does everyone in the tower know about this? She didn’t even give any sign of it.

“The doctor will be right in” The kind nurse said, closing the door as she left the room we were in.

“When did you find out?” She was laying on the bed calmly as possible

“3 weeks ago. I felt a little change the day I found out. Mine is not normal like everyone else but I decided that I wanted to enjoy it my way.” Lydia was looking around the dark room, surprisingly not scared of the dark. Most babies like to see their surroundings and get uncomfortable in the darkness.

“Does everyone know?” She shakes her head. A big grin appears in her face as she pulls out her phone.

“I want to do a reveal to everyone and I am going to need your help” I gave her a quick nod before the doctor appeared.

“Well let's check how the baby is doing” I look over to Wanda and for a moment I black out. I feel like the one who should be nervous is her, not me. She is having a baby. A human being is growing inside of her and she is going to be a great mother. That was the whole reason she wanted to spend more time with Lydia. That sneaky little thing. “The baby is doing great. Great heartbeat, strong” Wanda smiles proudly like if she had gotten an A in a project “ You are 18 weeks as of yesterday and you know what that means?” She can’t calculate dates right. “We can find out the gender today” She grabs my hands shaking it with excitement

“Can you write it in an envelope, keeping it a secret?” She really wanted to go all out on this which I don’t blame her. Now that I see how much she craves this I am starting to get excited too.

“Of course. Go ahead and change and the nurse upfront will have that for you” We thank the doctor before he leaves. Wanda changes and all the car ride home her smile still doesn’t fade.

“I want those confetti twisty things and this” She shows me her phone real quick so I can go back to focusing on the road. “ The color smoke for pictures” Her smile and picture showing didn’t stop until we were in the tower. She wanted it to be a surprise for everyone else. The envelope was saved in Lydias car seat pocket. “Vis is lunch ready?” Wanda screams walking out the elevator to the kitchen. That seems like a queue for Lydia to start crying. I didn’t want to disturb anyone so I walked towards the old room I stayed in. I close the door and take Lydia out of her car seat.

“Wanda and Vis are finishing lunch so no bottle until then okay?” I tried to calm her down but nothing was working. I changed her diaper and even tried playing with her toy but nothing helped.

“Miss Y/L/N. Wanda says you can come to lunch now” I thank Jarvis and god. Hopefully food helps calm her down. And it did. Atleast for some time, she went back to crying after eating.

“Did you change her already?” I nod “Play with her?” I nod “Maybe she needs another bottle” Tony was about to get up but I shake my head

“She just ate. That will upset her stomach” I don’t know how parents do this. “She has been missing her naps but everytime if I put her down she refuses to sleep”

“Well try again” What else can I do right? I excuse myself and take her to the room again. I read her a book but her crys are still going. I try to rock her to some music but she doesn’t stop crying. Maybe she is sick? I place her in the bed surrounded by pillows and I go into the bathroom. I know I could just go with Bruce to get her checked but a thermostat can help much faster. Bingo, the baby has a fever. Tony orders some medicine for her as I begin to run her a bath. The cries stop but I can tell she is exhausted.

“Just go to sleep. A good sleep will help you a ton” After a couple minutes of nothing. Her just staring at the wall will I talk to her like she was going to respond. I take her out and just put her diaper on.

“Here's the medicine” I thank Tony. He leaves me while I give her the necessary dose and there goes the cries again.

————-Maybe————

Description

You work alongside Matt and Foggy at the law firm. Of course, as one of the most successful lawyers in the city the one and only Tony Stark would recruit you. As you are trying to find a meaning of your life you find life in someone. It may be a rocky start for you two but maybe it’s worth taking.

Chapter 9:

I don’t know what time I fell asleep yesterday. With all the cries and the temperature not going down I panicked and maybe knocked myself out after her cries had stopped. Wait. Where is she? I ran out of my room and out to the main floor. “Hey. Don’t freak out she is in Bruce's lab” Why? I rush over just to come to a stop right at the door. I looked over and the clock said 10. In the morning? What the hell.

“Having a kid is like being hung over sometimes. You don’t remember something when things were rough with them the night before” Clint's words made me feel a little better. I should have stayed up and with her the whole night.

“You stayed with her the whole night” I hear Wanda’s voice beside me. “Her temperature was going down and she fell asleep. An hour or so later she started throwing up” Yeah I can remember that. That was the first time in a long time that I had frozen. After the shock and as soon as Lydia stopped throwing up I went to find Bruce. With another few throw ups and the fever coming back up Bruce told me she had an ear infection. The medicine was prescriped but I couldn't pick it up until this morning. So all last night she was awake and crying. And if she wasn’t crying she was throwin up and right after throwing up she was crying again. She didn’t even want to take her bottle. “You knocked out around 4 in the morning after she was asleep. Bucky took you to lay down”

“Has she taken her medicine?” Wanda nods. I haven’t spoken to Bucky since that night I went to apologise. Havent seen him since either. We spoke for a couple minutes before Wanda knocked on the door and said she needed to leave.

“He stayed with her since you left. The only time he left her side was when he left to pick up her medicine” Now she was feeling better. She was in Bucky’s arms eating some bananas.

“Don’t beat yourself about it. It's not like there is a rule book on how to take care of a baby. Trust me if there was one I would have been their number one fan” We laugh at Clint. “I know her grandparents are on their way but have you ever thought about keeping her?” honestly no. Lydia is a wonderful baby and I distance myself from her but I would be lying if I said she wasn’t the reason I didn’t feel alone. I only spent a full day with her and another couple but during that time she has put me in situations I felt I needed at the time.

“No. Who knows what will happen. I take the long run on this one” I open the glass door and walk towards the two. “Hey” I kneel down in-front of them as Lydia takes notice she reaches her arms out to me but Bucky hold her back

“Yeah no. It's your turn to take a shower” I moved my eyes to where he was looking and my shirt and pants had dried throw up on it. I can’t stand the smell of cheese but I could sleep through throw up being all over me?

“Fine” I roll my eyes walking out the door. “Were yall going to tell me I have throw up all over me?” I say to Clint and Wanda who were now in the kitchen island eating something. They both shake their heads laughing. I make my way over to take a shower. Took a quick 10 minute shower but I would be lying to you if I didn’t feel disgusted at the thought of smelling like throw up. I probably still smelled like it. I changed and once I walked out the door I was surprised to see the sight in front of me.

“She fell asleep right after her bottle” Lydia was fast asleep surrounded by pillows while Bucky stood at the end of the bed

“Thank you” I didn’t know what to say. So I just turned around and started packing her bag so as soon as she woke we could leave.

“Are you going to keep her?” Why does he care? Maybe he was just trying to make conversation to not make it weird and maybe I am an asshole for thinking this but he doesn’t have to be here anymore.

“I am not planning to” It’s as simple as that.

“What if the plan changes?”

“Then I guess I will deal with it then” I shrug really wanting the conversation to be over. But now that the awkward silence has me reconsidering it.

“So about that night” Fuck. Now I really want to go back to the other conversation. “I never meant to put that pressure on you. I was angry, full of rage and that was wrong on my part”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Wanda was right, you don’t accept apologies.” That made my head turn. “She said you don’t accept gratefulness or apologies. There are rare occasions when you use your manners too” oh fuck you. “And when you do, you don’t mean it”

“You got a Y/N 101 from Wanda?” I wasn’t pissed but I wasn’t happy eithier. I don’t mind people having their ideas of me, good or bad I don’t care. But when someone comes up to me and tells me in my face how I am I tend to get defensive.

“Yes. I needed to know if you were truly sorry about your apology” This asshole. “Wanda said if you apologise for something you were truly sincere” calm down. I close my eyes not wanting to do anything out of anger. How dare he go and try to find out if I was truly honest? He should have taken it up with himself to believe me or not.

“Okay” I didn’t want to start an argument with the guy.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure Tinman”

“Do you want to go on a date?”

“With you?” oh shit “I didn’t mean it that way” Fuck you. I saw him walk towards me and my body froze. My eyes are looking for an escape but I can’t come up with one.

“I haven’t been on a date in a long time, if I am being honest I am still learning about my feelings and how to deal with them” He grabs both my hands in his eyes and can’t seem to peel at the sight of it.

“Is this a new therapy thing she has you doing?” I hear a slight chuckle but he shakes his head.

“She mentioned going out with friends and before you say anything, no. When I first saw you I felt a gravitational pull towards you, and call me crazy but that was enough for me to know that in my mind we could be something other than friends” Best friends? Super friends! Get it? Because he is a super soldier? “I didn’t know how to come to you at first but if I don’t give it a try now than I might never get to it”

“Even after I caused you pain? Made you angry and tried to sabotage your orders?” I am not going to deny it made me blush. I thought after everything he would not hate me but dislike me that after the whole protecting me was over he would not even give me a second glance.

“I am willing to give it a try after all of that” that is stupid. How does he know I won’t do it again? “You had your motive behind them and I hope after getting to know eachother things will be alright.” I look up to meet his eyes. Oh honey you don’t know anything. My mind is telling me to remove my hands from his hold. Look away from his eyes. Make my heart steady to his touch. I am not one to do this with. I am no good. I will only break his and my own heart at the end. I am unstable. Maybe that is why I felt that connection with him in the first place. God knows I don’t know how to deal with my feelings either.

“Will I be responsible if things go wrong?” I was giving him a chance to run. Take back his words and hopefully only depart on a happy note. But my heart wants more. Maybe I should be brave enough like him. “I can’t promise you anything.”

“I am not asking you to promise me anything. I am just taking a risk at this” a risk. A risk is taken when you are doing something unsure, dangerous, unplanned, a ticking time bomb, like me.

“Ok”

A/N: why’s have I never seen this?!!!. So adorable.

Anyways I feel like this story is coming to an end. I don’t know if chapter ten will be the last or maybe it will be a couple more chapters but am stuck. Have no idea where to go. Maybe the story will end and I will post some chapters of the future as not part of the story like, if they get married or kids, i dont know.

BLACK AND BLOOD

Y/N L/N is the daughter of the Great Khal Drogo although she was raised by the king of the unknown lands. After finding out he died she travels and finds the one who caused his death. Along this adventure she meets the mother of dragons. Jon Snow. Night walkers. We will see if she really has the Dothraki blood flowing through her veins.

Chapter 4:

We arrive on the beach of Eastwatch. Jon advised me to stay behind and continue my way up to Winterfell but I denie his request. The Unsullied will stay guarding the wall in case Jon brings some unwanted guest with them. I follow close behind and a shiver runs down my spine. Jon,Davos,Gendry,Jorah and Greyworm walk infront of me towards the castle. Even with the fur they provided me, I can still feel the cold wind touching every inch of my skin. We enter the castle and Tormund, one of the wildlings Jon mentioned on the way here greets us. We are led to a big table to discuss our stay.

“Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?” Tormund the redhead giant stares at Davos

“I’ve been failing at that job of late”

“How many queens are there now?” He directs his words towards Jon

“Two.”

“And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?”

“Both.”

“How many men did you bring?”

“Not enough.” Tormund looks around the table shaking his head but with a big smile he asks

“The big woman?” Jon shakes his head and Tormund is not disappointed.

We were hoping some of your men could help.” Jorah adds. I can see the wheel turning in Tormunds head. If what I was told was correct the wildlings lost most of their people in a fight with the dead and I am sure Tormund now is very causions.

“I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there as you well know.” Jon nods at Davos’s words.

“You really want to go out there again?” He slightly whispers at Jon as he nods “You're not the only ones. We captured some men trying to make their way north” He walks around the table and out the door and everyone follows except Jon and I. I hold on to his hand before he could follow along

“I will prepare the unsullied to stay guard. Don’t leave without me, and before you say anything you swore to protect me and you can’t do it while being out there” He wanted to say no I could tell but nothing is changing my mind.

“Yes Princess” I let go of his hand, rolling my eyes. I let him continue his way to Tormund and I go find Greyworm. “I know you are not used to the cold weather so you will rotate every 10 men.”

“Daenerys said not to go beyond the wall, why are you going?” I stop turning back to him.

“I need to know what is out there. Can you imagine how beautiful it must be if from here the snow is as white as the clouds.”

“You will die frozen out there” I laugh at his words “What will we do?”

“Greyworm you are free to go back home. If I am not here the next one that follows is my older sister which you have no need to serve her as you are doing me. I trust in myself I will be back but if that is not the case I know you will make the right decision for our people” he only nods taking a look at the floor. “Messandei told me about your plans” his eyes looked in shock. “Don’t worry I have not told another soul. I know you wouldn’t leave now but in my heart if I could, I would make you leave”

“I know princess” There is a slight smile on his face. Easy to miss even if you focus.

“Ten men rotating. Have them moving, the cold won’t stop. When you see a dragon flying above you will march back to Dragon stone to Daenerys.”

“What about you?”

“I will be right behind you if that happens” He nods. We walked up the rest of our people and Greyworm separated them. I watched as they moved at their pace. I always had an interest in watching everything, even if it was an ant walk across the dirt. The sensation that I may be close by but have no idea what they are thinking. I know what they are doing but in a split second they can turn to the right and I wouldn’t know why. Same with other things, I have no clue on their move, so I just sit back and watch.

“You need to meet them on the eastwatch Princess, they are about to depart '' Davos's voice made me jump alittle. “The raiding party has new members, be careful” I look over to the gates opening and see four other men.

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Oh I wasn’t, I was worried about them” I laugh. I give him a smile as goodbye as I join the rest. Jon is to the front with Tormund as he leads the way out. The men following close behind as I stand next to Jorah.

“I’d feel better not leting you come along.” The cold winds are harsher passing the gate somehow. Jon was right, nothing is colder than the real north.

“Am sure you would, but just like you I have a sense of adventure” I hear his laugh. Of course he never wanted things to happen to him. He almost died for his adventures.

“Once this is all over what do you plan to do with your life?” hard question.

“I am not sure. I don’t like to plan ahead”

“You are next in line, is that not some kind of plan?” I shake my head

“I don’t have any plans. I have a vision, a vision that I see myself going wherever the world takes me. Up to now I am serving Daenerys but who knows, in a couple hours I might be serving the night king” The blizzard starts getting worse the further north we walk. It goes like this. Walking through the frozen valley with jagged rocks. The Wildlings pulled along the sled that carried gear and provisions while we continued walking.

“The first time I went north of the wall was with your father” Jon walks beside Jorah while I continue on his other side.

“He was a good man. He deserved a better son. Were you with him at the end?”

“I was a prisoner of the Wildlings, But we avenged him, I want you to know that every mutineer found justice”

“I can't think of a worse way for him to go. The Night's Watch was his life. He would have died to protect every one of those men, and they butchered him.”

“I hate that he died that way. My father was the most honorable man I ever met. He was good all the way through. And he died on the executioner's block.”

“Your father wanted to execute me.”

“I heard.

“He was in the right of course. It didn't make me hate him any less.”

“I'm glad he didn't capture you.”

“Me too.” Jon stops walking and I hear his sword belt coming loose but I keep walking, leaving Jorah and him alone. I start to admire the high mountains in the distance. The snow that was thick but rough to walk on. The air that made it hard to breathe somehow and the way it reminded me of home.

“Princess aye” The tall ginger man came up beside me with his bright smile. “Do you sing and dance in those silk dresses?”

“No. If I sing I will break your eardrum and if I dance I will break your feet” I hear his laugh radiate the whole air. “Don’t you miss this?. Although you may leave and see more places and more people, still that beauty doesn’t compare to your home.”

“I never planned to leave my home. Once this is all over, I am coming back with my people. This is where we belong” Home will always be home. You will always want to come back and stay. Home is a safe place for people “Are you planning to go home?” I shrug

“I love my home, yet it always feels like a cage. I could run and escape from it anytime but the thing keeping me caged is the people.” They need so much of me, atleast that is how it feels. I am not going to lie and say that I don’t like the way I live back home but I will be lying if I said I didn’t want this kind of life too. To travel the world. See people and different places. Have no attachment to anyone or anything.

“If they care for you, they will understand your needs and wants”

“It's not that simple for me. I only want them to be happy and proud of me. Can’t be happy if they aren’t”

“You will be surprised what love can do” I chuckle a bit. Tomund seems like a rough man, yet he speaks of love like he was the word. “Love has different meanings in this life. Love can be a person or maybe a desire of your soul. Eithier way it is always against something. I would say choose love. Love keeps you standing.”

“Sometimes love can be the reason of your falling” He stops overshadowing me with his tall figure

“That is if you choose duty over love. You can’t be foolish enough to mix the two. That can make you bitter and prideful” His eyes move away from me and as he leaves I turn to what he was looking at and see Jon standing there.

“What happened?” Jorah comes my way worried but I only brush it off and continue walking.

“Nothing to worry about. Let's find these things and go back so we can all go home” Walking a while later the weather has improved thankfully. I was left behind by Jorah. The rest of them in the back while Jon led us all.

“Stop” Jon whispered as we walked through the mountainous terrain. I walk up beside him looking over the edge of the cliff. There is a line of undead soldiers walking slowly in silence. The only thing you can hear is the metal clanking. “Where are the rest of them?”

“If we wait long enough we will find out.” As the last few pass us we move to attack. The bortherhood move to ambush them first. Who knew we would be fighting the dead when all we have fought was the living. I slay as much as possible with the weapon Jon provided for me. I look to my right seeing Jorah being choked on the ground. I run over but one undead soldier grabs me. I turn and cut his head off. The group of undead crumbles and falls to the ground. We look at eachother finding it strange as only a single undead soldier stands.

“Jon! Over there” He turns his direction towards the sceen I saw. The strong winter wind is riling up. We hear a distant rumbling, both footfalls and thunder.

“Go back to Eastwatch. Get a raven to Daenerys, tell her what's happened.” He pushes Gendry off. The rest have managed to get the undead soldier tied up. “Come on! Run!” We rush thorugh the ice.

“Stop!” Jorah orders. The ice cracks under his feet.

BLACK AND BLOOD

Y/N L/N is the daughter of the Great Khal Drogo although she was raised by the king of the unknown lands. After finding out he died she travels and finds the one who caused his death. Along this adventure she meets the mother of dragons. Jon Snow. Night walkers. We will see if she really has the Dothraki blood flowing through her veins.

Chapter 8:

Once we arrive at Winterfell I start to dislike the cold again. I look back to see my people dressed up in clothing they don’t like. This is going to be eventful with them. I dismount my horse once we are inside the gates of Winterfell. People standing around watching us as we walk towards people I guess are people who Jon knows. There is a redhead girl in the middle, her stance and glare strong and tall. The dark headed boy beside her on a wheelchair. Jon goes over and hugs them. “Where's Arya?”

“Lurking somewhere.” The redhead states, no really amused

“Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen. My sister, Sansa Stark, the Lady of Winterfell.” Jon turns his attentio to Daenerys as I take a step back to stand with the Dothraki.

“Thank you for inviting us into your home, Lady Stark. The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed, as are you.” Sansa does look to convinced with that but smiles hesitantly

“Winterfell is yours, Your Grace.” The tension could be cut with a knife geeze

“This is Y/N” Damn. I walk up and stand beside Jon. “Leader of the Dothraki and Unsullied, Princes of the unknown lands” I shake my head with a smile.

“Your brother and people here like to use long names but where I come from we dont. You can call me Y/N”

“Y/N, welcome” I nod

“Thank you. And thank you for taking in my people, I know we are a few”

“They have been pulling their weight. Well” she moves her attention to us all. “Welcome. We got a few things we need to discuss” The moves out of the way as she starts to walk up the stairs. Daenerys, Jorah and the rest follow her up. I turn over to the Dothraki.

“Greyworm here will take you to the other Dothraki. Malakho is the man who will lead you.” I walk close to them all. “If there is anyone who has a problem with the rules I set in place, you still have a chance to turn around!” I walk up to Greyworm. “I would want nothing but for them to be peaceful, if you have any trouble you know what to do” Greyworm sends me a nod and turns to the Dothraki. I walk up the stairs and now stand on the balcony unaware of my direction. Stupid castles. That is until I took one step just to be pulled to a little corner.

“We have a meeting in a couple of minutes” I roll my eyes trying to push him off.

“You should be there before it starts” I looked around making sure no one could see us. The walls to the side allowed some barrer to the wind. The fur on him made a pretty good heater. He ignores my words pulling me in. I would be lying to say we didn’t practice all those nights we were on our way here. Sneaking around the others. Not sure why but it was like a compromise we made without using any words. His lips pushed for more and that's what I did. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his arms around my waist were tighter. Once or twice I have felt this sensation in my body. Like it was on fire and the only thing that I think would help is feeling his hands all over my skin. All those times we stopped before anything could happen, mostly because I was unsure on what to do.

“We don’t have time for this” He pulls away, almost hitting his younger brother Bran. “Everyone is waiting for us” I was holding in a laugh as I saw the expression on Jon’s face. He makes his way into the room allowing me to hold the door open. Jon takes a seat in the middle of Sansa and Daenerys. Bran is to the side of Sansa.

“The Night King has your dragon. He's one of them now. The Wall has fallen, the dead march south.” Bran says untouch with the information.”

“As soon as we heard about the Wall, I called all our banners to retreat to Winterfell. Lord Umber, when can we expect your people to arrive?” Sansa turns her head as we do all to the young boy who stands up from the side of the room.

“We need more horses and wagons, if it pleases my lady.”He turns to Jon. “And my lord.” Then to Daenerys “And my queen. Sorry.” He can’t be older than 13. This much power and responsibility can overbear someone.

“You'll have as many as we can spare. Hurry back to Last Hearth and bring your people here.” The young boy bows and walks out the hall as around the room people starts to chatter

We need to send ravens to the Night's Watch as well. There's no sense in manning the castles anymore. We make our stand here.” Jon looks towards a man

“At once, Your Grace.” The older man nods, walking out aswell.

“Your Grace.” A young girl stands and directs her sight to Jon. “But you’re not. Are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a- I’m not sure what you are now” if the chatter wasn’t heard before, it is now. “A lord? Nothing at all?”

“It's not important” Jon says bluntly

“Not important? We named you King in the North.” the people in the room start chatting his title.

“You did, my lady. It was the honor of my life. I’ll always be grateful for your faith. But when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North.”

“If anyone survives the war to come, we'll have Jon Snow to thank. He risked his life to show us the threat is real. Thanks to his courage, we have brought with us the greatest army the world has ever seen. We have brought two full-grown dragons. And soon, the Lannister army will ride north to join our cause.” Tyrions words didn’t sit right with this crowd “I know, I know, our people haven't been friends in the past. But we must fight together now or die.”

“May I ask, how are we meant to feed the greatest army the world has ever seen? While I ensured our stores would last through winter, I didn't account for these many soldiers and two full-grown dragons. What do dragons eat, anyway?” Sansa's stance was clear. She didn’t trust us. She was okay with our stay because they needed people to fight against the dead but nothing else. She could care less about who sits in the iron throne, as long as the north survives.

“Whatever they want.” Daenerys and Sansa stare bluntly at eachother. Thankfully the meeting subsided and ended fairly quickly after that. I took my time to make sure the Unsullied and Dothraki camp outside the wall went without a problem.

“256” Malakho said next to me. I nod. That is nothing compared to the men who crossed the sea the second time.

“I don’t blame them” I smile. “We are not going to cause any trouble. Hunt what you can and bring them into the castle.” I order before walking away back to winterfell. “Don’t touch those” I pointed out to the young girl who was running her fingers on the blade of our curved swords. Before she could point the sword towards me I disarmed her. “You’re Arya” the girl didn’t look surprised. She didn’t show any emotion at all. The face does run in the family.

“You're the girl who leads the savages and” she looks back to the unsullied.

“Those are the Dothraki, the savages you mention and those are the unsullied, not so savages” I walk past her and place the sword back.

“And what are you?” I turn with a grin

“I don’t know.” It was true. I had the Dothraki blood in me. My mother came from the slave cities the unsullied were made in. Yet I was raised by Omnis. “They are all my people.” Before she could speak we were distracted by the dragon flying above us but what really shut us up was the fact that Jon was riding one of them. Why couldn’t I smile for him? It must feel great to mount something as wonderful as a dragon. I wanted to smile but the only thing I got was a frown.

“I heard you came from across the narrow sea and even further east” I nod towards Arya.

“The unknown lands. Omnis” I look back to the young girl. “You look like you have had a long road”

“As do you” I chuckle, shaking my head.

“I wish there were stories to tell but unfortunately I have spent most of my life surrounded by four walls. Until a couple years ago I didn’t know air could feel this refreshing”

“How did a girl like you become the leader of a big army then?”

“I spent my time wisely in those four walls. I learned what I could and fought for what I believed once I was out. My people are not an army to me, they are just that, my people. People who choose to fight alongside me.”

“Will go back to Omnis when this is all over or will you stay here?” My head moves to the right a little.

“I have a duty in Omnis. Whether I take it or not doesn’t mean I won’t be back somehow.” I walk close to her. “As far as westoros goes or if you are meaning Winterfell well, there is always a chance” I smile. “Now if you excuse me, I need to do something” I walk into the gates and make my way to find a secluded place.I grab two candles and walk out the castle. Making sure no one follows me. I come to the edge of the forest. I enter it just enough to where I can still see the castle. I clear out the snow and place the two candles on the ground setting them. I watch as the wax starts melting. The little bit of warmth they radiate is enough comfort I need right now. Tears start to swell my eyes and I can’t longer feel anything other than the constant pounding in my head. The tight feeling of wanting to feel something has me wanting to punch the ground but I only let my knees hit the ground. I am not sure that the quiver in my hands is because of the cold but when I wrapped myself in my arms It was over. Just like the sun has finally gone down, so have the candles. I clean up my tears. I remove the candles out the way and dig a shallow hole enough for the candles to fit. I place the candles inside and fill them in. I covered them up and with a sigh I stood. “Fuck! You scared me” I turn around and see a figure standing there. I turn on my torch again and see him clearly.

“You don’t feel pain anymore” Bran just stares blankly at me. Like if I hadn't just seen my balling my eyes out. “Don’t worry. I didn’t see much” wow. That makes me feel better. “Why don’t you feel pain?”

“Becasue it wasn’t pain what I was feeling. It was just grief. Sadness. I am not going to see them again, sadness can be confused with pain but they are not the same”

“But you don’t feel sad anymore, how?”

“It's in me still, I just choose to ignore it”

“Why?” god this child. Am mostly a child too but still.

“Because crying for someone is not going to bring them back from the dead. Spending countless hours isn’t going to avenge them. Spending all my energy is going to do nothing for them” I turn kicking some snow ontop of the buried candles. “I have let myself mourn. They don’t need to listen to my cries any longer”

“Do you believe in that?’ I give him a questioned look when I turn around to him. “That they are able to hear and see you? People like to tell kids stories so they don’t feel sad, is that what they made you believe?” I let out a scuff of a laugh.

“Yes” I said planly “I used to hear stories, all different about what happens after death. I want to believe the one with a beautiful beginning, middle and end but I still can’t trust it too much” My mother used to tell me my favorite story of the dead. “That we die and our life rewinds infront of our eyes, of course only the happy memories. Then you see your loved ones for the last time. Then finally you rest. That is where my favorite part comes in. They say whenever you need them the most is when they actually show up, of couse not like a ghost but more like a presence”

“And that is what you think happens?”

“I think it's a beautiful bandaid”

BLACK AND BLOOD

Y/N L/N is the daughter of the Great Khal Drogo although she was raised by the king of the unknown lands. After finding out he died she travels and finds the one who caused his death. Along this adventure she meets the mother of dragons. Jon Snow. Night walkers. We will see if she really has the Dothraki blood flowing through her veins.

Chapter 9

We walk back to Winterfell in silence. He told me he wanted me to meet someone. Something about him being a true fan of stories like me. I don’t know how he got the idea of that, I dread having to read even a message. “This is Samwell. Has read millions of books in his short years of life”

“Nice to meet you Samwell”

“Please just Sam” I smile

“Y/N”

“I bet you two will have fun” Bran says as he leaves the room. I turn back to Sam who stares at me with no clue on his face.

“I told him one story and now he thinks we can be bestfriend because we have that in common”

“Well if you came to become bestfriends you’re too late, Jon is my best friend” I laugh at his sarcasm.

“That pains me. Oh well” I take a seat. I grab and take a look at some of the books he has on the table. “So you and Jon are bestfriends?” He nods, taking a seat infront of me with more books.

“He saved me when I arrived at castle black and has been saving me from that day on” Alway trying to save people. “We became brothers of the night watch together. We crossed the wall together. We survived the wall together. We found love together.” He turns to me, lowering his voice. “Her name is Gilly. We have a kid but its a long story. His was a wildling named Ygritte. That is when the night watch didn’t get along with the widling and got into a war. Ygritte got killed.” He sits back closing his book. “At this point Jon has lost his father, lady stark, his first love and two brothers. I don’t know how he keeps standing”

“He still has something to fight for. His two sisters, Bran, and all of the north”

“Yeah. I mean after getting killed by his own man and surviving it. Going to war with a ruthless guy, Bolton. Survivng the dead twice, I don’t know how he keeps on standing” My gaze falls off the books. I look up to Sam.

“When you stop fighting, that is when it's all over. There is always a reason to continue and Jon has plenty of those”

“Yeah.”

“So, tell me about Gilly. Why is the story long?” I could see his eyes light up at her name. I stayed with him for a while, hearing his story. How they met, to when they moved so he could become maester up to now.

“I want to marry her when this is all over. Live the life she deserves after almost her whole life she was kept by her father-” He stopped when a knock on the door interrupted us. “Come in” And in walked Jon.

“Hey” Before I could answer Sam spoke up.

“Hey! I was just telling her how you are my bestfriend” He goes over and wraps one arm around his shoulder. “And how many times I had to save you” Jon laughs

“Seems like you needing saving is something common” I stand walking past them. “I need to check up on my people. It was nice to meet you Sam'' With a smile I walked out. I didn’t know what it was but I had a weird sensation. Like I couldn’t make myself look at Jons eyes. Maybe it was the Ygritte thing bothering me. His first love. Maybe I am angry at myself for being stupid enough to think I was his like he was mine. Maybe I am being stupid right now to think this is important, that I am important. We haven’t established a set relationship but damn, I knew getting into any of these was not the best idea. I rush towards the gate and see the unsullied and dothraki on guard while some sleep.

“Princess, would you like us to set you up for the night?” I nod at the dothraki offering. I go around the camp, tiring myself out. I couldn’t help but feel a bad feeling. The cold was becoming bearable at the time I laid down. The use of fire wasn’t necessary until we traveled across the sea. I like to admit that the sound of the wood burning while my eyes closed was sort of calming. Like fire making music. Back home there was a water feature in the castle that surrounded and echoed in the walls. The water making music. While traveling towards the sea you could feel the air. The air making music. I am yet to feel the earth make music. Another thing I loved about sleeping to music is hearing the birds sing. In Winterfell the only birds I heard were crows. At first light coming visible I stood and took in a deep breath. I walk into the gates and towards the stairs.

“Goodmorning Y/N” I smile as I see Sansa walking towards me.

“Goodmorning Lady Sansa” I bowed my head a little. We both turn around looking down below at the people working early in the morning.

“We had a room in order for you”

“Thank you, but I prefer sleeping where my people sleep” She nods.

“Can I ask you a question?” I respond with a simple yes. I turn towards her, giving her my full attention. “You don’t seem to trust Daenerys as much as everyone does. My brother seems to trust more in her than the person leading her army” I chuckled.

“Trust doesn’t come easy. I think in this world you can’t give your trust to many people. I am here for loyalty. Yet, your cause is convincing to fight as well. I will say trusting without letting your guard down is advisable. She is here to help your cause. Once this is all over, I think she will be very generous with your idea on what to do with Winterfell.”

“So you're telling me to trust her because she is fighting a war for my cause. Yet this can cause her to lose just as much if Winterfell stood alone” The grin in my face didn’t leave. She was a strong girl. Strong girls in this world are tested every day. But she is more than strong, she is delicate to the touch. Someone who would do anything for her people.

“Yes. Thankfully she understood this can affect her in the future. Now she is here fighting. If you can’t trust the people who choose to fight alongside you, then that is how the otherside might win. The good thing is that when this is all over, Winterfell will only have one queen”

“That is not what I want. I want Winterfell to be independent, people want Jon to be King” Her eyes fall to the ground. Turning her body over the balcony again.

“One thing I have learned about the Starks is that they will do anything for their family. And this family will fight and die for the north. The north sees that and will continue to support whoever supports them”She only gives me a nod. I shake it off. “Now if you will excuse me. I will continue on with my walk” walk? I didn’t even know where I was going. After my departure I enter the common room. Traveled through the dining area. I stopped when I reached a hallway. At the end of it was red eyes staring back at me. I have seen dogs before but nothing like this. The creature stood up on his four legs. Shaking his white fur and taking one step forward. I raise my hand towards him. A low growl came from his end. Backing up was no longer an option as I hit a dead end. I look over to my left, from where I came from but if I made a run for it or scream, the creature would get to me before I could escape. Desperately I moved my hand around to touch the back wall and twisted the handle, got in and closed the door. “Who leaves a huge dog outside like that?” I sigh, pressing my forehead against the door. Now how do I leave?.I turned around and saw that I walked into a bedroom. The fire was on and the bed made. I rushed over towards the window but it was too high for me to climb down. I heard scratching on the otherside of the door and I swear to you that almost made me jump out the window. Maybe the snow will be a nice place to land on. The sun was rising more and more and the scratching continued. The door creaked open, caught my attention and I saw Jon standing beside the creature.

“Are you okay?” I shook my head quickly seeing as he took steps closer the creature wasn’t far behind. “This is Ghost. A direwolf” I give him an uneasy smile.

“Oh hello Ghost” Sarcasm all over my voice. “Did you teach him to corner people?” Moving closer to the wall beside the window. Jon shakes his head with a laugh.

“No. He is harmless.” Really?! I doubt that. “Its okay” he whispers as he takes more steps towards me until he is right infront of me. I grip onto his leather as I hear the direwold growl again.

“Does that sound harmless?!” I close my eyes having seen the direwolf walk closer to me. I could feel his nose smelling me.

“You’re a stranger. He won’t do anything to you” I grip harder pulling myself closer to him now. “Ghost. Sit” Jons arm wraps around me. I felt the vibration of his laugh. “See? Harmless” I look up to him rolling my eyes. “Don’t like wolves much?”

“Not ones that growl at me” There it is again a laugh. “Not funny. He could have easily ripped me to shreds” One of his hand moves to grab my cheek. I look at him and his grin has gone away. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on mine. My mind goes back to last night. She is not here anymore. I never cared about what people thought about me. This will not stop me from fullfilling anything I set myself to do. The pain that might come as the result of this at the end will not stop me from hearing my heart. When I pulled him even closer is when I heard another growl. Now that will stop me. I looked down at Ghost who was just sitting there, looking at us.

“Ghost” Jon warned. “Come on.” I watched as he opened the door for Ghost. But before he leaves I could sware he gave me a warning with his eyes.

“Ghost doesn’t like me” I hear the door close. I walk over to the fire, trying to warm myself some more. “If he could speak he would tell you he doesn’t like me. I am going to wake up tomorrow to him staring at me, ready to jump on me.” I looked over to Jon who was standing there watching me.

“Sam told me what you two spoke about yesterday”

“There is no need for an explanation.” I wave him off.

“I would feel much better if I did” he walked closer taking both my hands in his. “Ygritte was someone I fell for and will forever love” That felt like a stab. The words I know I didn’t have to say were stuck in my throat. “We were at war and I had to choose.” my eyes move up to meet his. “This is a way of telling you that I don’t want to choose this time”

“You don’t have to.” I didn’t say this because this situation was different than it was with Ygritte and him. We are fighting for the same side. We don’t have to kill eachother. “It's not the perfect timing but whatever you choose, I will accept” I move my hands to hold his face closer.

“I want to be with you, and I want you to be by my side.” a smile creeped on my face. “I don’t mean drop everything for me, or give up on things you believe in because of me, I just want you to be with me. Just-”

“Ok” I give him a quick kiss. “Ok. I want you by my side too. King or no King. Lord Commander or not. Fighting against the dead or against the queen. I don’t care as long as you are with me. Whatever happens will happen, you just have to promise me that it will always be us”

“And Ghost” he quickly added. I laugh, shaking my head.

“And Ghost” I kissed him again. “Your siblings” another kiss. “Mine” another kiss. “But mainly and most importantly, us”

“Us” The next kiss spread fire around my body. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me towards the bed. I was laying under him and his kisses traveled down my neck.

“Jon” I sighed, gripping onto his clothes, trying to move it away. He got the message. I could no longer feel leather or fur but his warm skin under my finger tips. He stopped kissing looking down at me as he untied my shirt. “Will you be careful?” His eyes were warm against mine. He didn’t have to answer because I knew he would be. Maybe it was me being under him that made me feel safe. I heard so many times about how this is supposed to be a nervous situation and that it wouldn’t be something as easy as breathing. My breathing was rapid but my head was clear. Everything he was doing, my body was moving in sync with his.

“Anything for you princess” He whispered, coming down to take my lips again. My upper half was naked and I did the same to any other clothing we had on us. My hands moved to grip onto his back and he gripped onto the fur sheets on the side of my head. His kiss traveled down my neck again but I couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Jon” I whine. “Please?” he hovered over me. The disapperation in my face showed. “I need you” My legs wrap around his waist pulling him down.

“Anything for you princess” I closed my eyes, taking in what he was doing. His kiss moves up to claim my lips again. One hand moving inbetween us to place him in the right direction. The warm feeling was there again. He pushes in and my whimper is swallowed by him. The grip around his back grows harder as he keeps pushing in. His thrust goes slow, allowing me to feel every inch of him. The uneasy feeling below was heaven. My head was in ecstasy as the feeling of everything was becoming too much. “You’re doing so good” oh that right there. That right there was the moment my whines and wimpers turned into a moan. The pleasure running up my spine. His thrust continues to speed up.

“Don’t stop,” I pleaded, pulling us closer. I moan as his cock slammed in harder than before.

“So good. Such a pretty view” Jon grunts, grounding his hips into yours even harder and going so fast that you're shaking the bed. The pleasure and pain mixed into one felt too good to come back to reality, to make him stop. Oh and when I felt a weird sensation I lifted my hips towards him and that sensation increased.

“Jon” I moaned, unaware of what this feeling was. It was a fire burning hotter every second in my lower stomach. I felt it when we kissed but not this intense.

“It's okay.” he moaned, his head falling beside mine. “I feel it too”He speaks out breathily, making more grunting sounds. Jon doesn’t stop his movement after the feeling was residing. I grip hard onto him as the burning sensation came. He moves to hover over me again with pulling out of me. “What?” He asked with a stupid smile.

“Do you mind if we keep practicing this?”