The Only Sun Hua Cheng Doesnt Hate When It Burns His Heart

The only sun Hua Cheng doesn’t hate when it burns his heart…

sunshine

something about vita sackville-west writing "how pleased i shall be to sit on your floor again" to virginia woolf is the most simple yet devastating line about intimacy and longing i have ever read

After burning the Paradise Manor

Xie Lian got so deeply sad

He believes that he just ruined another relationship with someone who’s dear to him

Someone who treated him so well

Probably the first person to show him such sincere fondness

And he’s already accepted that it can’t be mended

His another failure

All of his own making

In less than a week someone managed to become important to him

And he already managed to betray and hurt them

To spit on everything they’ve so selflessly given him

He didn’t mean to

Didn’t want things to end this way

But of course they did

Again

You know how on that one night, Xie Lian and San Lang got to talking and San Lang was like what if the real me is ugly tho, and Xie Lian was like no no that won’t matter to me because we friends now (earnest face).

And then San Lang was chuckling to himself and Xie Lian was feeling hurt and upset, which brings us to this exchange from the original work, which I ADORE so much:

你好没诚意。

我发誓，上天入地你再找不到一个比我更有诚意的。

While a word-for-word translation is often unhelpful, I think in this case it’s actually more fun to read this exchange a bit more literally:

you (are acting like) you so don’t have ______

I promise, search all heaven and earth and you won’t find one that has more ______ than I do.

What is this thing that Xie Lian accused San Lang of not having? It’s "诚意" (chéng yì), honest/sincere/earnest intentions.

Xie Lian was like ‘I was being super sincere and saying moving shit and I thought you were moved by it but it turns out you were laughing?? 😤 !!’ (He’s too cute for getting so upset when he’s all zen with everyone else. He already cares about San Lang. In the original work he also covered the both of them with Ruoye 🥹 despite being upset)

And San Lang was like na-ah trust me I have it 😏 I have sooo much of it you have no idea, Dianxia... 🥺 (erm..)

Now “having诚意 “ is commonly translated as "sincere" and therefore not having it “insincere” and that’s how the dub and the book handled it iirc. But the word takes on a deeper meaning when San Lang used it in his response. It’s less about sincerity (honesty, truthfulness), but “having earnest intentions” (conviction, determination, and devotion). He’s almost saying that “I promise, search all heaven and hell and you will not find one as devoted (to you) as I am.” “Pious” even, in his case.

The phrase "上天入地" (shàng tiān rù dì) in San Lang’s response, due to the setting of TGCF, could also be interpreted literally as "to go up to heaven or go down to the underworld," covering everything between the heavenly and the ghost realms. In MXTX’s synopsis for TGCF, she described Hua Cheng as a “C天R地小妖精” (“little demon seductress that beeps heaven and hell” i guess? too good)

So many of Hua Cheng’s lines are so well-crafted, seemingly lighthearted and playful, but the underlying layer of depth and significance can do so much damage to my kokoro.

It’s also interesting that San Lang’s response was directly communicated to Xie Lian in the original work, but got turned into his inner monologue in the anime adaptation.

Seriously, how do I write???