I Used To Be Very Insecure Of Myself Whether It Be My Physical Appearance, Hair, Basically From Head

I used to be very insecure of myself whether it be my physical appearance, hair, basically from head to toe, in and out. Hence i rarely post photos of myself. So here's me, more like my side profile, for those of you who's been wondering what i look like.

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Prior to starting this new account, i owned one personal account where i followed all my friends from high school and university. I deleted it in fear of judgement and started a new one under an alias or alter ego that i created myself so i can pretend to be her when i don't feel like being myself (i know this might sound very messed up to some people) but this is how i cope with it ( i mean ya girl's gotta do for the sake of her sanity aight??)

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Anyways, now that i've completed that chapter and ready to take on another new chapter of my life, instead of stepping down and backing out, i will stand up and speak for myself because nobody will ever do that to me but myself (yeay to self appreciation). I guess be ready for more recipes content (new recipe coming up soon), occasional awkward photos of me, and hopefully maybe reels (😘😜). So stay tune friends and thank you so much for still following and sticking with me. ❤❤

P.S: i dare you to spot something hilarious and odd from my clothing and comment down below. Go!

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#selfhealing #selfreminder #selflove #selfappreciation #love #lovemyself #aesthetic #fashion #90s #redhead #blogger #instagood #influencer #reels

When in doubt, bake Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Blondie ❤❤ Time definitely flies by real quick, coz October is ending soon 😭😭😭 . . . Ingredients: 1 1/4 c oat flour 3/4 c pumpkin puree 1/3 c maple syrup 3/4 teaspoon baking soda  pumpkin pie spice 1 egg  1/2 cup low fat yogurt 1/2 cup chocolate chips/chunks dark or semi-sweet Bake for 20 minutes ❤ . . . . . . . . #pumpkin #pumpkinbread #blondie #chocolate #psl #brownies #healthyfood #healthybreakfast #breakfastideas #snack #blogger #influencer #foodphotography #foodblogger #foodpics #food #autumn #fall #warm #halloween #autumnvibes🍁 #fallfood #pumpkins #followforfollowback #aesthetic #ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ #autumnaesthetic (at Somewhere in My Own World) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVaryo5BZT9/?utm_medium=tumblr

poison on your tongue.

premise: ransom comes to visit you in the middle of the night to sedate his hunger.

pairing: vampire!ransom drysdale x (f)reader

warnings: restraints / semi bondage, blood drinking, sort of dubcon, unprotected sex, yandereish, dirty talk, maybe somnophilia a little bit, sweetheart endearment used. reminder: you are in control of your reading consumption so if you don’t vibe with any of the above please do not go on. 18+ only.

word count: 1.2k

etc: uhhh, i had like several different versions of this in my head and went with the most fucked up one. but like there was a sub!ransom one where ransom is fed blood the more he begs for it, an enemies to lovers feeding off of someone together one, and a few other ones so like let me know if y’all would want me to ever write those thots out someday lmao.

♱ kinktober 11.

You don’t hear him when he slips through your door. Or when he’s removed the blankets from your body, the cool air of your dark room barley making you stir in your slumber. You only realize that he’s in your bedroom, like so many nights before, when you feel him tying your wrists together with your top, leaving your chest exposed to him, your shorts and panties soon following suit. His knee is between your legs keeping you spread and open for him. The heavy musk of his fancy cologne and the smell of copper burning your nose at his proximity to your body.

If you would of heard him you might of ran, grabbed the crucifix at the side of your bed. Even if the act would of been futile. Anything to keep him from sinking his fangs into you, taking from you like he has done so many other nights. You becoming one of Ransom’s most favorite snacks.

“Why?” You ask, no pleading to be found in your voice. No weary. You’ve been here so many times before. You weren’t scared of him anymore, not of what he was at least. Your only fear was your impending death you were sure was soon to come. Ransom constantly feeding on you, taking from your body to replenish his own in a sick hunger, doing your body no favors. At least when he was away for too long. As if your body couldn’t survive without his teeth in your neck, your thigh, your mound. As if your body could only function with the blood loss rather than without it. It craving Ransom to take from it, to devour it in a hungry kiss that left you shaking and spent and weak. You just didn’t understand why he had chosen you to be plagued with such torture.

Ransom hums against your skin as his lips kiss at your hips, his tongue licking the area you know he’s prepping to sink into. Making your skin more raw and supple, to hurt more. “Why what, sweetheart?” He humors you, looking up at you through his lashes, smiling against your skin.

“Why me? You could use anyone for your own personal blood bag. Why me?” Ransom’s chuckle makes your stomach tighten and bitterness grow. He leans up, one hand grabbing your tied wrists and moving them at a better angle above your head. The other resting at your hip, nail digging into the skin he was just playing with.

His mouth is inches from yours, his fangs now visible, sharp, taunting. “Because, you’re delicious.” His smirk makes you glare up at him. “No one tastes as good as you do. You’re so sweet and tender, and know all the right spots to hit, not just when I’m hungry.” You feel his knee rub against your bare cunt, your breath hitching in the back of your throat. “I knew from the first time I felt your blood touch my tongue, and your cunt around my cock that one bite would never be enough.” His mouth hangs open hungrily as he watches you try not to moan or wither against him. Your hands balled into fists, your glare soon turning heavy and hooded with lust. “I crave you.” It comes out as a growl before his mouth comes down on yours, your body responding to him without any thought or coercion.

His teeth sinking into your bottom lip as he kisses you roughly, your hiss vibrating off of his blood coated lips as he pulls away. Gaze never leaving yours as he licks your blood off of his mouth. The surface wound making your bottom lip pound. Ransom bringing the hand at your hip up to the small wound he’s made, uses two fingers to collect the blood there and puts them into your mouth. “Suck,” he demands. “I want you to taste how sweet you are.” And you don’t hesitate to listen, wrapping your lips around his digits and licking and sucking around them, cleaning your own blood off of his fingers. The bitter taste of copper covering your tastebuds with malice and pleasure. Your muffled moans bringing a smile to Ransom’s face.

Your brain already filling with the haze of pleasure and need from Ransom to the point where you almost find yourself begging him to get it over with; take from you, litter your skin with bite marks and blood. It always ending the same way, your body’s need taking over and ignoring any protest of ill feelings you have towards the man. His tongue leaking poison into your body, claiming you as his, making you crave his animalistic ways. Turning your body on a dime easily, just for him.

He takes his time with you, keeps you on the precipice before he finally gives you what your body is keening for, what it’s been programmed to need from him ever since that first bite. And when he finally sinks his teeth into your hip the strangled moan you let out is music to his ears. Your body shooting with a pain that turns into lust and arousal the more he takes from you. The more you feel him suck at your skin draining you of the very thing that helps keep you alive. Ransom moving up your body leaving a trail of bloodied skin and bite marks in his wake. The intensity of his fangs only heightening your bodies ache when he bites into your neck, your body arching off the mattress. Your body fighting itself to not push Ransom off and instead pull him closer. The pleasure he’s poisoned your body to feel for him always winning.

“Should I just feed off you tonight, or should I fuck you as well, sweetheart?” His tongue licks at the wound he’s just made, “should I drain you until you’re too weak and use your cunt until I’ve refilled you with my cum?” He’s leaving kissing up your neck, smearing blood along your earlobe and cheek, “What does my little blood bag want?”

The needy groan you let out paired with the vigor in your hips bucking against his knee is all he needs for an answer, your body already too fucked from his mouth and constant taste of copper each time you swallow. And soon enough Ransom has his cock inside of you and the mewls that fall from your lips are loud and repetitive as he does just what he said he was going to do; drain you until your vision is blurry, your head woozy from the loss of blood and intense pleasure of his mouth and cock. Your body lulling and succumbing to Ransom fully as he fucks you like a rag doll.

“You’re so beautiful like this, cock drunk and drained. Your body weak but your mind and cunt still craving me, still begging for more, for my cum.” He’s kissing your mouth and you try to keep up with his lips, can taste your own blood on his tongue. It’s so wrong what Ransom has done to you, you know you could put up a fight, use reinforcement. But you know it’s too late for that, your body signing an invisible contract with Ransom the first time your flesh met the euphoric pleasure of his bite. Your body, mind and soul now owned by a devilish man who would take and take from you until there was nothing left. “So happy I found you, sweetheart.” Ransom grunts against your skin, sinking his teeth into you one last time before your vision goes dark and you cum around his cock.

I looked so desperate but trust me i wasn't. . . . . . . . . . . . #aesthetic #ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ #blogger #fashionblogger #fashion #photo #photography #photodump #brisbane #australia #nostalgia #nostalgic #darkacademia #beauty #simplicity #minimalist (at Under The Sea) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVVQbpppIlr/?utm_medium=tumblr

For Better or For Worse

pairing: Shang-Chi x f!reader

summary: shang-chi gets injured on a mission & a reverse card has been pulled

word count: 2.5k

trigger warning (!!!): mentions of death

a/n: i haven’t slept in 23 hours & don’t know if this make sense. i just really wanted to write something. anyways, enjoy reading! <3

my Shang-Chi masterlist here.

***

You were a bundle of nerves.

Pacing back and forth, you rubbed your hands together. The temperature in the medical bay was comfortable enough, but cold sweat still formed on your palms.

You were standing outside the surgery room with Bruce, who were studying the report from the mission Shang-Chi, Sam, and Bucky had just gone to.

It was suppose to be a simple mission. A simple extraction, but then the terrorist group had been clued in to the arrival of the Avengers and instead of abandoning their hideout. The group had concentrated their men and overpowered the three.

Fortunately, Shang-Chi was able to send a message back at the compound allowing the remaining Avengers to follow for back up.

If the others had been late for a second… You closed your eyes. Not even wanting to think about what had crossed your mind.

“You should have let me come.” You blurted out, snatching Bruce’s attention to your direction. Gaze intently set on the glass separating you from the inside of the operating room.

“Y/N, the two of you haven’t been in good terms lately.” He sighed, lowering his eyeglasses to his nose. “I don’t think it would have been good if I sent the both of you on a mission.”

“I can be professional, you know?” You tried to joke but your voice dripped with bitterness.

“If you would only tell the team why then maybe we could have bargained.” Bruce stood up straight, crossing his arms.

You tried to swallow the lump building up in your throat.

“It’s—it’s personal.” You choked out.

“The more reason we couldn’t let you to go together. We can’t be distracted, especially now that we know how dangerous this group is.” Bruce reasoned. “I understand that its hard for you to share, but if you ever need someone and if you’re comfortable enough to tell, we’re here.” His voiced soften as he gently patted your shoulder.

“I hope you get through whatever it is you are going through.” He added.

It was a serene time at the compound. The night just fell and everybody had just finished dinner and went separate ways to do their own business.

You and Shang-Chi, on the other hand, decided to lounge in your room and plan to have the rest of the night cuddling.

The team had been busy preparing for a mission for a few weeks now and it was nice to have a night off.

The two of you were in bed, legs tangled and arms around each other. Just feeling each other’s warmth. He was little spoon this time.

Honestly, you loved it whenever he asked to be spooned. His face buried on the crook of your neck. Your fingers gently running through his hair, softly messaging this scalp.

You hummed, something that you did when you’re in utter calmness. Then, you felt Shang-Chi peppered your skin with light kisses. His lips trailing your collarbone up to you neck then your ear.

You giggled in response. “Stop! It tickles!”

He replicated your laugh. “Oh really?” Then pressing his stubble-covered face further against your skin and purposely tickling your side. A snort escaped your lips which Shang-Chi reciprocated with a roaring laughter.

“You.. should… really… get… that… stubble… shaved off!” You struggled, wriggling against his tickling.

He stopped, whispering in your ear. “Can I get a hand, then?”

You nodded.

He scooped the back of your knees, the sudden move made you shriek. You wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him like a koala as he carried you to the bathroom.

Shang-Chi sat you on the bathroom countertop while he stood in between your legs. You reached for the shaving cream and razor.

He watched you intently as your hands delicately touch his skin, lathering it up with shaving cream. His thumb unconsciously rubbing circles on your clothed waist.

Your fingertips traced the fading scar as a result of his hurriedly attempt to shave few nights ago.

“You’re a literal Avenger and you can’t shave your face without leaving a scratch.” You chuckled as you brought up the razor, applying light strokes to his face. “You should be more gentle when shaving.”

“Uhuh.” He agreed, but sounded like he wasn’t actually listening to you which made you look up. You smirked, he looked like he was in a trance. Deeply submerged in thought, every move you make not left unnoticed.

Shang-Chi remained silent until you finished.

After you’re done, you looked back up and he had the same look on his face.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Brow arching, you looked back to the mirror behind.

“No, you’re face is nothing but stunning.”

You joking rolled your eyes. “Then what is it? Is something bothering you?” Arm snaking behind his neck once more, playing with the tips of his hair.

“I was just thinking…”

“Yeah…?” You trailed.

“I love you, you know that?” He whispered as if you and only you were have the right to hear those words from him. Shang-Chi leaned his forehead against yours. Just like how his mother used to do when he was a child.

Your right hand on his chest, allowing you to feel his rapidly beating heart.

“I love you, too.” You reiterated.

“And there is nothing more I want but to spend my future with you.” Shang-Chi into his pocket and fished out a ring he had bought a 6 months ago.

You stiffened at his hold when he grabbed your hand that was resting on his chest, a gold ring in between his thumb and finger.

“Y/N, will you mar—“ But before he could finish his question, you pushed him away. Jumping down the bathroom counter, you avoided his eyes but not before catching the shock and pained expression in his eyes.

The ring hit the tiled floor, you could almost hear his heart break with it.

Your mind went hay-wired. “I—I—“ You fumbled, trying to think of what to say. But you felt overwhelmed. Instead, you mindlessly stormed out of the room, leaving a distressed Shang-Chi behind.

Since that night, you had been avoiding him. You felt like a coward, scared to face the consequences of your reaction.

After an hour had passed, the doctor came out of the operating room, giving you and Bruce an update regarding Shang-Chi’s state.

He’s stable. He’s going to need a couple days of bed rest, but he’s better. The doctor said.

Setting the temperature you knew Shang-Chi had prefer, you sat down on the single couch beside his bed. Bruce left a while ago to check on the others.

Once he was gone, your vision clouded as you watched Shang-Chi sleep. One of his eyes were swollen, blueish purple bruises littered his face and body, bandages everywhere.

You could physically hear and feel your heart break. It’s not something you haven’t seen before. Being an Avenger, you were sadly used to it, but seeing the person you cherished the most in this condition was even more excruciating than any injuries you have experienced.

And knowing that the last joyous moment you shared ended up hurting him, crushed you.

As moments passed, the tears you have been holding for the last couple of hours poured like waterfall. Every attempts of wiping them futile as each teardrop fell after the other.

You did not realized that you had fallen asleep until you were awaken by a hand, gently stroking your hair to lull you. Struggling to open your puffy red eyes, your rubbed them with your fingertips.

That’s when it registered to you Shang-Chi was awake.

Jolting up your seat, you announced. “I—I’m going to get the doctor.” But Shang-Chi already caught your hand before you could move towards the door.

“I’m fine.”

“But—“ You tried to protest.

“Sit down.” His voice hoarse, slightly tugging on your hand.

You obeyed. Falling silent for a couple moments to gather your thoughts.

“Uh, are you—are you thirsty? Do you want me to get you some water?”

He shook his head ‘no’.

“How about the AC? Do you want me to adjust the temperature?”

“No, the temperature is perfectly fine.”

“How about—“

“Y/N, relax. I’m fine.”

You sighed. “Is—is there anything I can do for you?”

He thought for a moment, your heart thumping in your chest.

“Lay down beside me.” He patted the right side of his bed, scooting over the other side. He grunted slightly as he did.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You muttered as your hard-headed boyfriend did as he pleased.

He stared at you patiently.

“I don’t want to hurt you though.”

He smiled. “You ask me if you can do anything for me. Can you lay beside me? Please?”

Damn you, idiot! You already did! You internally cussed yourself when it registered to you what you just said.

You swallowed. “Uh… um. O—okay. Tell me if you’re uncomfortable, alright?”

He nodded.

Carefully, you laid down on the space he provided for you. Cautious as to not press on any unseen bruises he has on his body.

Your head resting against his shoulder, his right arm wrapping around you. Shang-Chi sighed in relief as if he was thanking all the gods that he was able to feel you again in his arms.

The two of you stayed like that. Your position reminding you of the night he tried to propose. Guilt consuming you as you tried to think of what to say.

The heart monitor beeping on the background.

“My parents…” You started. “They weren’t married yet when I was born. My father told me that they wanted me to be their flower girl when they did and so they waited.”

You smiled bitterly at the memory. Shang-Chi’s thumb drawing circling on your back as if soothing you. “We live in countryside and there was this cliff with the view of the ocean. Every Saturday morning, my father and I would ride a bike to the bakery and the three of us would have a picnic for breakfast on that cliff. We would watch the sunrise and lay there. Just basking in the warmth of the rising sun.”

“It was a special place for our family. So, when he thought of the perfect time, he conspired with me to plan the proposal. It was on that cliff, sunrise, all of my mother’s favorite food. We even baked our own bread. I remember as a child thinking it was the most romantic thing ever. I even had this film camera and I snapped so many photos.” You let out a short chuckle. “They got married, a week after that.”

“But one year passed and things started to change. For whatever reason, they constantly fought. The doors were closed but I could still his screams. My mother trying to shush him. Glass breaking, furniture being pushed over, doors banging. I hid under my blanket, shaking. I couldn’t see what was happening but the sound was enough to shatter my childish heart.”

“Then one morning…” You sniffled, pausing as you muster some courage to continue.

“It’s okay. You can stop if you’re not comfortable.”

You shook your head. “I want to tell you. I never told anyone, but—but I want to tell you.”

“Okay.” Shang-Chi’s arms around you tightened for reassurance. “Whenever you’re ready.”

You breathed in. “One morning, I woke up and I was alone. There was breakfast ready to be cooked in the kitchen. Empty plates on the dining table. Untouched newspaper on the sofa. The front door was open but nobody was there.”

“I felt scared because I knew something had happen. I didn’t know what but I knew there was something going on. I waited and waited and waited but it was almost sunset and none of my parents came back.” Your arm snaked around Shang-Chi’s torso, trying to find solace. He squeezed back.

“So I rode my bike. I went to the cliff, no one was there. But then there’s this nagging feeling that told me go to the edge of the cliff. That’s when I started crying.” You sobbed, hiccuping in between. Your right hand forming a fist, collecting the fabric of the medical gown Shang-Chi had on as you felt like the memory only happened yesterday.

“When I looked down, I saw—“ You choked out. “I saw my mother lying there. As a child, I just thought she was just laying there. Like we always did on the cliff. But something was off so I kept on yelling, “Mommy, get up! get up!” but she didn’t move. If a neighbor passing by hadn’t heard me, my young self would have probably jumped down there to save her.”

Shang-Chi screwed his eyes shut as you broke down in his arm. So much pain radiating off of you.

“The proposal… that was my last happy memory on that cliff. So, when you proposed, the memories came flashing back. How happy my parents and I were and suddenly the image of my mother’s lifeless body. It scared me.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you on that spot. I—“

“No, no, Shang-Chi. It’s not your fault.” Wiping your tears away. “You didn’t know. It’s me who should be sorry. I should have been more considerate of your feelings. I didn’t told you so you wouldn’t understand. It’s your right to be upset.”

“I just wanted you to know why I reacted that way. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, believe me. You… you helped me to love again and I can’t imagine the thought of losing you.” You continued.

“We don’t have to get married.” Shang-Chi whispered. “I can love you without the marriage. All I want is to spend my every waking moment with you. The title doesn’t bother me. If you’re not comfortable with it, we don’t have to do it.”

You smirked, reaching down your pocket, holding up the gold band for both of you to see.

“No, I want to marry you. I want to bury all bad memories and replace it with good ones, ones worth remembering. I don’t want to be shackled to the painful memories of my past.”

Looking up to him, you grabbed his hand. “Shang-Chi, will you marry—”

“Yes.” He answered in a heartbeat, making you chuckled but slipped the ring in this finger anyway.

Your hands softly cupped his cheek as you planted a kiss on his lips.

When you heard of what happened during the mission, it terrified you. That you’re going to lose the man who unchained you from the horrifying notion of love, the man who taught you that you can still be loved, and the man who made you feel again. It shook you to the core.

It’s not always rainbows, but during the storm Shang-Chi was always willing to brave it with you. He never left and that was enough for you to know that you open your heart and trust again.

You pulled away, resting your forehead against his.

“I promise to love you for better or for worst.” He vowed, pulling you in for another kiss.

more like me trying to act cool when i see my crush is about to walk pass me lol 

Hello ladies