Feel Alright (Goku X Reader)

Feel Alright (Goku x Reader)

(it’s going to be more fun that it sounds; manic pixie dream BOY, s3x; crushes, grief, hiding the past; friendships; jealousy; slow burn; “friends”; healing; growing; will-they-won’t-they; tension baby!!!!; canon blender)

taglist: @ilove-evanpeters @moonyscardigans @twinshii @raspberryhaterade @iwenttoshiratorizawa @uselessdoodlesdude @ferneskin @burneraccountant @bellaisasleep @arougeme @aurorarevenclaw1927 @applecandy14 @fingersnapples @langdoncult @loona-thebadchild @anlin2058

TW: Mature content in this chapter! (I’m leaving y’all well fed for thanksgiving) Also a little bit of angst!

If you’d like to join the taglist, click here and add a like!

When Bellatrix moves to the city after a personal tragedy under the wing of her friend Bulma, her life is completely turned around after she leaves everyone—including herself-stunned with the discovery of her own powers. Suddenly she finds herself swept up in a world of aliens, new bizarre planets and training, along with prospects of romance. One problem, though; she can’t leave the past to answer the new life that’s knocking at her door.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 (((𝖔(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)𝖔)))♡: part one : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 / part two: 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Inspired by @sevenstarsinning ‘s fic “Sweat”! Go check it out!

part five | home again

“Blood?”

I nodded again, hugging my blanket tighter around me.

“Blood. Like, a period, maybe.”

“But you—“

“Yeah, I know, I know, I’ve never had one,” I said with a slight frown, “I’m freaked the fuck out.”

“You’re not bleeding anymore, are you?”

I shook my head even though I was on the phone.

“Are you?”

“Oh—uh, no. But…that’s not it. I think Goku smelled it.”

“Oh, gross—I don’t actually want to know about how you and Goku fuck.”

“Bulma, we haven’t fucked! He was nowhere near my crotch. He just said he could smell something good, and then his behavior did a total one-eighty. I had to fend him off until whatever happened to him went away!”

She was quiet for a moment. “He didn’t hurt you at all, did he?”

I was taken aback by the question. “Bulma, come on. It’s Goku.”

“Did he?”

I shook my head despite the fact I was on the phone.

“Bels?”

“Oh—uh—no. Of course not. Goku was still very gentle with me, even then. He’s always gentle with me. He’s…always very kind and sweet.”

Bulma’s giggle let me know the tense moment had passed. I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

“Kind and sweet, huh?”

“Bulma,” I warned.

“What? Look, I’m not pushing anything, but Goku’s great. And you like each other! You can’t become some kind of spinster just because your ex was awful—I mean, some new action would probably be good for you!”

“I don’t think Goku’s not great, but…”

I sighed heavily, leaning against the headboard.

“It’s just…being back here, all the memories, all this new stuff…there’s so much changing so fast. I don’t know if I can handle Goku, too.”

“Why not let Goku be new stuff too? Your heart can’t heal if you hold on the past.”

“Bulma, I’m just not ready to go through that again. Things were great with Delilah in the beginning too, and look where that led.”

“Goku’s not—“

I inhaled sharply.

“Look, I know he’s an old friend and you feel you know him inside and out—but love changes people. When you’re heart’s genuinely touched, your fear, your resentment, your old pain, they all come back. We think we know ourselves, and what we would and wouldn’t do, but love changes us down to our very atom; who we are with and without love are two different people. It’s like meeting a whole new person, and I don’t want to meet the other person that’s inside him…or remember the other person inside myself.”

There was silence on her end of the line. I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

“I just…it’s only been what, four, five months now? I’m not ready. Okay?”

“Okay Bels, I hear you. I understand.”

I nodded, slumping. “Thank you. Okay, let’s forget all that—you obviously have a Saiyan situation going on.”

I grinned at the sound of Bulma sighing.

“Yeah, yeah, there kinda is,” she admitted.

“I can hear you smiling, you know—quit trying to act cool, it’s me.”

“Ugh, fine…it’s fucking amazing.”

I laughed as she made a little squeal and shifted around.

“Okay, okay, so basically, he was being an idiot per usual and overdid it in the gravity chamber.”

“Oh, so he’s still an idiot, huh?”

“Since when isn’t Vegeta an idiot?”

With a chuckle, I shook my head, leaving my bedroom and going to the kitchen.

“Okay, so he injured himself, and what happened next?”

“Well, I started finding myself keeping watch over him, and worrying a little about him…he had these nightmares often, so I’d stay while he slept…just, ‘cause…you know…”

I couldn’t help the smile plastered on my face.

“Bulma!”

“Don’t make it weird,” she insisted, “It’s not—“

“Bulma, please, I’ve never heard you talk about a guy like that before! Not even that Yamcha guy you wrote about, and he fucking died.”

“Well the son of a bitch cheated on me,” she said, “Funnily enough, Vegeta—oh.”

I paused from pouring my orange juice, raising a brow.

“Oh?”

“So…I haven’t told you much about Vegeta, have I?”

“Oh, no.”

“No, no, it’s not that—okay, it’s pretty bad.”

***

“Look, all I’m saying is, if I were you, I’d have some qualms about getting involved with a definite war criminal.”

“He’s not—he isn’t a war criminal!”

“Have you made sure?”

“Bels, you don’t get it—Saiyans are a warrior race, they’re all about power and battles and violence. Goku’s an anomaly.”

“No,no, I’ve grasped that; I’m just saying I wouldn’t fuck a crazy person.”

“Oh, he’s not—“

I gave her an incredulous look, and she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s fair.”

“Mhm.”

I shook my head and looked out the window, frowning at the scenery below. The last time I saw, there was ice, then ocean, but now we were flying over lush green hills I didn’t recognize. By my memory, we should’ve reached the city by now.

“Where on earth are we, by the way?”

“Uh—just visiting a friend. There’s someone I’d like you to meet. I think he could help you with your power.”

I tensed. “I told you I didn’t want—“

“Look, if you can’t at least control yourself we’re all gonna fucking die, so just do this for me, okay?!”

My eyes widened as she blurted out her argument, and I was humbled into silence.

“Hmph.”

“Hey, you’ll see! Piccolo’s not as crazy as all of the other guys. You guys might actually get along pretty easy.”

“I’m skeptical.”

She chuckled, turning and landing. I sighed, crossing my arms, hesitantly looking at our destination. It was an interesting looking house; small and white with a round purple window. I could only describe its shape as something akin to a combination of a sea creature and an insect. Bulma parked and hopped out, beckoning me to follow. I hesitantly jumped out and onto the ground, rubbing my neck. I was really tired of meeting all of these new friends. Some tension formed in my shoulder at the sound of a deep voice. Whoever this was, they already seemed disgruntled by our presence.

“Why are you here?”

“Hey, Piccolo! I brought that friend of mine I took you to see that was out for a bit, remember? You said you’d help her focus her ki.”

“Who?”

“Oh you know, the one with all that power? She blew up the testing chamber.”

“You brought her here?! You realize this is where I live, right?”

“Well you didn’t answer your phone—none of you muscle-heads do!”

“Oh, right, that thing. It broke.”

“It what?!”

I winced at the volume of Bulma’s horrified screech as I came up behind her.

“Oh, relax,” I dismissed, “you can replace one lousy phone. You could buy every phone factory on earth if you wanted to.”

I looked at this new friend, and a spark of recognition brought me some ease.

“Oh, right. Piccolo.”

He probably wasn’t as huge as Broly was, but this guy was undeniably a giant. He must’ve been, what, seven feet tall? I sighed.

“Man, I’m tired of feeling short.”

Piccolo measured me up with skepticism, black eyes calculating and sharp.

“So, you’re the Bellatrix I saw in the med bay?”

I wasn’t phased. “Yup.”

I popped my lips, holding his intense stare. His brow furrowed slightly, and I lifted a brow. Bulma glanced between us uneasily.

“What’s this I hear about you being able to help me with my ki?”

He gave a slight smirk. “Oh, you’re up for it? You don’t look the type to be inclined to fight.”

“And you don’t seem the type inclined to offer training,” I shot back, putting my hands in my pockets, “But you’re right. I don’t care about combat, I just want to control my power.”

“Mm. It is volatile, I’d understand wanting to control it. But power like yours demands to be used.”

I frowned at him. “Well, too bad. Should’ve picked a different meat suit. I’m a scientist, not a warrior. Can you help me or not?”

He was quiet for a while, maintaining our staring contest, but then he chuckled turning away.

“Fine. Let’s start now. I’ll get my weighted clothes.”

He went upstairs, and Bulma scoffed.

“He could at least say goodbye.”

She quickly turned to me with a bright smile. “See! Told you you’d get along! I’ll get you later, alright? We’ll go out!”

My eyes widened with slight alarm. “Wait, you’re leaving me alone with this guy?”

“I’ll be back,” she urged, rushing back to the ship.

“What the hell are you running for?!”

“Bye-bye!”

“What—Bulma! What the hell do I even talk to this guy about?!”

I watched her fly away with disbelief, feeling a bit of sweat forming on my forehead. I jumped and whirled around to meet Piccolo’s eyes looking down at me.

“Good, you can sense energy. At least you’re not a complete amateur.”

I gave him a blank look as he brushed past me. “Oh great, another charmer.”

“We don’t need to get along. I’m just teaching you.”

I scoffed, following him. “How do you expect to teach people things if you don’t get along with him?”

“Oh, great, another talker,” he muttered, “Just pay attention.”

We walked silently for what felt like an eternity, until we came across a quiet brook that seemed attached to a lake in the distance. It was surprisingly nice. Under the gentle climate of the day with the pleasant sound of water, I already felt a sense of ease.

“Have a seat,” Piccolo instructed, sitting down by the water.

I did hesitantly, crossing my legs like he did. He didn’t look at me.

“I hear your power skyrockets when your emotions get out of control.”

“Yeah. Like a defense mechanism.”

“I see,” he muttered again, turning his piercing eyes onto me, seeming to observe something in the air around me, “It makes sense; your ki’s terrible. So scattered and volatile.”

I was a little offended even though he was right. He grunted, closing his eyes and looking away.

“I think the best thing to do is focus on grounding your energy, and separating its use from your emotions. I know you don’t consider yourself a fighter, but at least for now, if you don’t train your ki, it’ll become more restless, explosive, and erratic. You need to do something about that anger inside you, too. Combat will help with releasing that frustrated energy inside you.”

I frowned at the water. I really didn’t want to do that. I had no business trying to measure up to these crazy people around me—I could sense their overwhelming power; they could all probably break me in half like a banana. This was all ridiculous, I could figure out my own way—

“And that ruminating needs to end, too.”

I froze up, looking at him in surprise. He was giving me a harsh stare that actually gave me a bit of a scare. Could he hear my thoughts?

“You know, you remind me of another kid I trained. He was meek like you, although he had the excuse of being a child. But he stepped up when the time came, and he tapped into his potential. You have the same potential in you. The only thing that will make this difficult is your desire to make it so.”

I stared at him, mouth slightly agape, brow knitted with arguments wanting to bubble up in defense. He rose a non-existent eyebrow at my dumb expression.

“I…I’m not a fighter,” I said plainly.

To my surprise, he smiled. “Neither is he. Not for a lack of trying, mind you. He’s just not like me or his father.”

My gut sparked at the mentioning of his father. “Father?”

“If it’s returning to a normal life you’re worried about, you can do that too. That kid’s in high school now, and he’d still as much of a nerd as he was when I first met him. I’m not trying to force you to change your life, but your potential shouldn’t be wasted.”

I stared down at the grass that tickled my shins, listening to the water. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was scared. I know nothing of this life. I didn’t want to jump into this sea of stuff completely blind. I’d spent so much time feeling helpless and confused, it didn’t seem to me that putting myself into more of that was going to help my issues.

“I’m not ready for that,” I admitted.

“You won’t always be ready,” he dismissed with some harshness, “Sometimes life comes at us before we’re ready, and we don’t get the choice to decide when to let it in. All you can do is ride the waves until it becomes easy.”

His words struck me, and I looked at him in surprise.

“Despite what you may think, you have the strength to ride those waves. I can sense it. The only thing making you weak is yourself.”

I picked up a few blades of grass, staring at them in my palm.

“I guess I’ll tell you. If you promise not to tell Bulma.”

“That’s not hard to do.”

“Okay, my brother’s dead.”

He was quiet, but didn’t seem put off by the information, so I continued.

“He died a few months ago in an accident, fighting off some private investigator my ex-girlfriend hired to follow me, and I’m living in the observatory she built me. And now, after getting a sense of emotional solid ground, I look up, and I’m an alien species with superpowers that destroy everything they touch, and everything I’ve believed since I was a kid has been a lie.”

I sighed, wiping off my hand.

“It’s not that I’m weak. I’m just tired. And confused, and scared, and frustrated, and nine-hundred other things. I just want things to be normal again.”

I looked to him again, a little surprised to meet his eyes. “But I don’t want to put the people I love in danger. So if training with you can help me do that, then fine.”

He regarded me quietly with a new glimmer in his eyes, then nodded.

“I can help you do that. I…apologize for misjudging you.”

I smiled a little, nodding in return. “Okay. When do we start?”

He looked at the water, taking a deep breath.

“Close your eyes, and we can start now.”

I did as instructed, frowning a little.

“What’s next?”

“Sit up straight and focus.”

I muttered, a little annoyed by his authoritative tone.

“Okay, bossy…”

After straightening up, I let out an exhale. I didn’t know what he meant by focus; but I didn’t want another demand given to me, so I just focused on the sound of the water. With time and silence, the quiet trickle had filled my ears, along with the gentle rustling of distant leaves and passing breezes. My breath had deepened.

“You’re a natural,” he remarked, voice softened remarkably, “I’m surprised.”

“I did this all the time as a kid. I grew up in a place not dissimilar to this.”

“I see. Well, since you’re focused, let’s try tapping into your ki. You’ve done it before, right?”

The mentioning of it would’ve usually given me an anxious knot in my stomach, but I’d gotten so zen that I just gave an affirmative hum. I thought of the night I blasted Goku through the clouds, remembering separating our hands and the sensation of that aura. I exhaled as warmth grazed my neck, then shoulders, until my entire body had been embraced by the mysterious sensation. It felt calmer this time; I could appreciate the sensation of it buzzing against my skin. I felt like a plant soaking up the sun.

“Good start,” he affirmed, “Now I want you to focus it between your hands.”

I thought of Goku’s kamehameha with a bit of concern. Piccolo seemed to glean what I was thinking, though.

“Nothing crazy, not an attack. Just create a ball of energy in your hands.”

That sounded a little crazy, but I digressed.

I straightened up, clearing my throat, falling back into the creek again. The warmth grew around me and expanded into a little bubble. As I inhaled, it shrunk around me, and with every exhale, it expanded. I got a little fright when I exhaled, and suddenly I could see Piccolo’s sitting figure behind my eyelids observing me.

“That’s good, now focus it.”

The thought of attempting to shrink this giant aura I’d created around us seemed impossible, but I just took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I whispered.

Contract, I told myself as I inhaled, then exhaled, then inhaled again. I managed to shrink to just around me—Piccolo disappeared, although I could acutely sense his energy next to me. I shivered as the warmth left my shoulders and neck, and soon the giant sphere had become the size of a volleyball. There was a light shining against my eyelids that distracted me though.

Trying to ignore it, I contracted the sphere further, feeling the heat mounting beneath my palms as it got smaller and smaller. The light got brighter, too, and my the time I’d managed it into a ball, I was squeezing my eyes shut to block out the light.

“Take a look,” Piccolo said.

I curiously opened my eyes, and stared in marvel at the bright red ball of energy between my hands.

“Woah.”

“That’s your ki. I’m honestly impressed it’s so malleable.”

I widened my hands, willing the ball to grow, then shrink again. It looked like fire—if it didn’t blind you, of course—but it felt nothing like it. It was like night and day from the ki I’d felt when Bulma ran her test: this felt like life force; creation.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.

“Mm. I want you to keep working on that,” he said, suddenly rising to his feet.

I moved to do the same, but he gave me a look that kept me seated.

“Keep meditating and manipulating your ki. I’ll come back later.”

“”Kay.”

I did as instructed, shutting my eyes and expanding the ball of ki to surround me again. On second thought, Bulma might’ve been right for once; Piccolo wasn’t bad at all compared to the characters I’ve met the past few weeks. One hour with him and I’d become the calmest I’ve been in weeks. As the warmth kissed my skin, I smiled a little. I could sit by this creek forever, listening to it babble. I sighed peacefully.

“Hey, there ya are!”

The alarm of hearing Goku’s voice sent me flying into the air, and the warm ki immediately blasted out of control. Goku let out a yelp as the force of it knocked him out of the air, and we both crashed onto the ground. I let out a groan as a painful ache bloomed throughout my shoulder.

“Agh, shit…”

“Bellatrix! You okay?”

Goku rushed over to me, helping me up to my feet. I sighed, rubbing my shoulder in annoyance.

“I’m fine, it just hurts a little.”

“Heh, sorry about disturbing you. Your energy felt really good there for a moment.”

He rubbed my shoulder, smiling apologetically.

“Goku? What are you doing here?”

I removed Goku’s hand quickly in embarrassment as Piccolo lowered to the ground, approaching us. He gave Goku a reprimanding look.

“I sensed her energy scattering out of nowhere, I thought there was some kind of attack.”

Goku chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry! I just heard from Bulma that Bellatrix was training with you and I wanted to see!”

"She doesn't need the distraction," Piccolo said, eyeing me curiously.

I avoided his gaze with a blush; I could feel my ki blazing wildly inside me as Goku stood next to me.

"What? Bellatrix doesn't mind! Do ya, 'Trix?"

He looked down at me with a smile, and my energy knotted up even more. I looked away.

"Ahem...uh..."

"Goku, go bother Vegeta," Piccolo commanded a bit more firmly, "You're making her energy go haywire."

Goddamn it. I gave Piccolo a dirty look as Goku looked between us in surprise. He looked at me questioningly. I gave an awkward smile.

"Just swing by Bulma's place later."

He nodded, smiled, and flew off. I watched him go for a moment until I realized Piccolo was still there, then I whirled around, fixing my eyes on the ground.

"Go back to meditating," he instructed, turning away.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Sir, yes sir."

He took off as I sat back down on the ground, crossing my legs. I took a deep breath, starting to listen to the water again. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

I sighed sharply, rolling my eyes and taking it out.

My eyes widened.

Mom.

***

"You sure you want us to come?"

"She said she wanted to meet my new friends," I muttered, fiddling with the pens on her desk.

"Bulma, I don't like this thing," Goku complained, walking into the lab.

I glanced over briefly, then did a double take in confusion, seeing his new outfit. He wore boots, jeans with a brown belt, a white t-shirt, and a brown leather jacket. I stared quietly, unable to tear my eyes away.

"Wh--why are you dressed like that? You can wear your gi, you know."

"What? But Bulma said--"

"Bulma said nothing," she suddenly interjected, pushing him out of the room.

She shut the door behind her, giving me a smile. I gave her a confused look.

"What--"

"His gi was filthy," she said quickly.

"Okay..."

"Okay."

My eyes narrowed, but I didn't have the mental resources to be suspicious.

"Mm."

"What?"

I looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"That 'hm', what is that? I'm not doing anything!"

I laughed a little. "You know, you have got to work on being less conspicuous."

"I just want to make him a bit more presentable--"

"Mm, to meet my parents."

"It's not like that," she insisted, putting on some earrings, "Your family is very intelligent and a bit more...sophisticated than Goku."

I snorted, then laughed. "What? My family? C'mon, really?"

She gave me a look in the mirror. "Well, Adam is at least."

"Heh, yea--"

I fell silent, my stomach falling. "Oh."

Bulma paused, turning around to look at me.

"What is it—"

"Bulma, how long do I have to wear this thing? My arms feel like sausages..."

I glanced in a panic between the two as Bulma rolled her eyes, pushing Goku out of the room again.

"Wait. Outside."

She closed the door with an exasperated sigh, going back to the mirror and checking her makeup.

"I'm excited to see everyone," she said brightly, "I haven't heard from them in months, I was worried."

My voice was caught in my throat as I shakily got up. She rummaged through her purse to make sure everything was inside, then slung it over her shoulder, heading for the door. I rushed over before she reached it, grabbing her wrist.

"Bulma."

My intense stare stopped her in her tracks, and she fell silent, frowning.

"Bels?"

I squeezed her wrist, breath trembling. "I...it's...I need to tell you something."

"Well, we're gonna be late--"

"It's Adam."

Her jaw snapped shut and her eyes locked on me. I sighed.

"I'm...really sorry I haven't told you sooner."

"Did something happen? Is he okay?"

"He...he's dead."

Her jaw went slack in disbelief, and I watched the confusion in her eyes as my words processed through her mind.

"What?"

"There was an accident; Delilah sent this P.I. after me and there was a fight, and--"

"Adam's dead?!"

I winced at her raised tone. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, I’m…I’m not mad, I…”

She stumbled over to her desk and collapsed into the chair. She stared at her hands.

“It explains a lot, though.”

I watched her sit in silence, then crouched down with a sigh.

“Wait, Delilah sent a P.I. after you? I—what—what happened?”

“You know Delilah, can’t leave me unattended for more than an hour. I sensed I was being watched, and I told Adam. He and the guy got into a tussle, then this motorcycle…and…”

I clapped my hands together, making an explosion sound.

“The ambulance came, but he had no chance.”

“Bels…did you see him die?”

I stared down at my hands.

“I never left his side.”

The ride over to my family home was silent. Bulma gripped the steering controls with a white-knuckle grip, and I sat beside her in silence, hesitant to look at her—if she was crying, I would cry, if she was upset, I would be ashamed. If she had no expression, I would give her one in my mind. Goku was surprisingly quiet; he didn’t ask what had happened, but he could sense the change in everyone’s mood and acted accordingly.

We landed near the farmhouse, and the sight of my parents’ home in the distance, warm and cozy and beckoning, made my stomach twist with anxiety. I didn’t know what to expect or what to do; how to act…I hadn’t visited since Adam had died, I hadn’t talked to any of my siblings or family. With a swallow, I took Goku’s hand as he smiled up at me gently, helping me out and to the ground.

“You’re shaking,” he said with some concern.

“I’ll be fine.”

He nodded, and moved to let go of my hand, but I didn’t let him. We exchanged a look, and he smiled again, squeezing my hand gently.

“You ready, Bels?”

I turned immediately at the sound of Bulma’s voice, and nodded.

“I can’t stay out here all night, anyways.”

She spied our interlocked hands and tilted her head, but didn’t give any outward reaction, turning around and walking ahead. We followed. Goku spoke to me in a hushed voice.

“Is she mad or somethin’?”

“I told her about Adam.

I lagged behind for a moment, leaning over to him.

“Keep this between us, but…she was a little in love with him.”

His eyes widened in surprise.

“I thought it was always just Yamcha…”

“I mean, they never got together, of course, Adam wasn’t…you know.”

“What?”

“Available.”

“What, he had a wife?”

“A boyfriend. Occasionally.”

“Oh…”

I smiled a little. “Yeah. But they were still close…although Adam was close with everyone.”

I watched her solitary figure brush past the dogs that ran up excitedly to greet her.

“She’s family, you know?”

“Yeah.”

I watched her go up to the porch and knock on the door. It opened, and my mother’s arms immediately shot out to embrace her tightly. They swung a little, then Bulma turned around. I hurriedly let go of Goku’s hand once I met my mother’s bespectacled eyes. Her gaze softened, and she smiled. I gave a strained one in return, waving a little. She waved back, gave Bulma a nod, and the two went inside. Goku and I had stopped walking.

I stared at the door quietly, hearing music coming from the windows being carried by the breeze. My legs felt like jelly. Goku eyed me curiously.

“You goin’ in?”

I blinked, looking up at him, then rubbed my chest as my heart pounded against it.

“I don’t…”

I bent over, feeling dizzy, bracing myself on my knees. I felt a bit nauseous. I felt Goku’s hand on my back, then both of then take my shoulders and pull me upright.

“Hey, they’re your family,” he said, pulling me in with his eyes, “They’re not gonna bite. I’m sure they missed you a lot.”

I held onto his hand, trying to take a deep breath.

“But I…if…”

“What?”

“If I go in there, without Adam,” I muttered, “It makes it all real.”

He was quiet. I wanted to lean against him, to feel some solidity; my body was all smoke right now. Goku hummed quietly, then looked into my eyes with a smile.

“Why don’t you show me the farmhouse first?”

I let out a labored breath. “What?”

His smiled faded. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t…”

I placed my hand over my chest, crouching down. Goku moved down to the ground with me, looking with concern.

“You’re not having a heart attack, are you?”

“Just feels like it,” I assured, breath trembling, “I think I’m having a little panic attack, that’s all.”

“Panic attack?”

“I’m just…feeling very scared.”

I looked at him, then averted my eyes in discomfort.

“Just give it a minute…”

Before I could pull away, he took me up in his arms, holding me against his chest. My eyes widened. I froze, but quickly fell slack at the sound of his steady heartbeat.

“You don’t have anything to be scared about. I won’t let you get hurt.”

I crumbled in his embrace, my pants leg soaking up the dew from the grass, inhaling his scent, hands trembling as I timidly grabbed onto his arm. I shut my eyes, feeling myself sinking into him, feeling his calmness, his steady energy, and I felt my own begin to calm down in response.

“That’s it,” he encouraged quietly.

My heart jumped. What was happening?

“Goku,” I whispered.

“It’s alright.”

I took a deep breath, feeling how my body rested in his strong arms. I felt his warmth; I could feel that little sun he shone onto everything around him, and it bathed me in its gentle light. I opened my eyes, staring down at the grass.

“I’m sorry, I keep having meltdowns around you.”

He laughed. “I don’t mind.”

I felt his laugh vibrate in his chest. The claw that gripped mine loosened its hold. I took a full breath.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

He touched my face gently, and to my surprise, the tension in my chest eased a bit more at the feeling.

“I like you,” he said plainly, “Why wouldn’t I be nice?”

I looked up at him, realizing how close we were—with Goku, proximity always seemed to become a very important concept.

“You’re too nice,” I whispered, glancing down at his smile and meeting his eyes again.

He only smiled more, shaking his head.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

He leaned closer, chuckling. I didn’t retreat—I turned my body to him, wanting to take in the smile that glowed in his eyes. He pressed his forehead against mine.

“Nuh-uh.”

I laughed a little, and his smile got bigger.

“Your laugh is pretty,” he said, letting me go as I pulled away.

“You’re too nice,” I reprimanded, “Too nice and too sweet.”

We stood up, and he beamed at me.

“You’re not scared now, right?”

I shook my head, laughing again. He frowned.

“No, I’m not.”

“What’s so funny?”

I couldn’t contain my smile. “Nothing. You hungry?”

“Something’s funny,” he pressed.

We walked to the house, and I looked at him then glanced away.

“What is it?”

I didn’t know what to say. I reached up and pinched his cheek gently. He smiled and did the same in response, making me smile. The sound of barking took my attention away from him as the family dogs bounded up to us, tongues flailing and tails wagging eagerly. I knelt down, embracing them as they knocked me over on the ground, licking my face and sniffing me. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“He—Hello you two—oh gosh!”

My cheeks ached as I scratched their heads, struggling to sit up. Goku watched me with a smile, but was quickly overtaken by our giant hounds’ curiosity. He stumbled and chuckled, patting their heads as they circled, sniffed, and nudged him around.

“Woah, hey, hi!”

“Don’t let them bully you,” I warned.

“Oh, I’m sure—woah—“

I grinned as they knocked him on the ground, licking his face too. Goku laughed heartily, trying to shield his face.

“At least they like you.”

“Heh, yeah—hey—“

I whistled, snapping to bring them over to me. “Okay, that’s enough.”

They looked over and trotted over, sitting. I got up and helped Goku to his feet.

“They’re cute,” he said brightly, “And weirdly strong…”

“You should probably wash your face when we get inside.”

I wiped off his shoulder, then clicked my tongue as an amused smile grew on my face again.

“Awe, your jacket’s all covered in fur now. Not very presentable.”

“It’s not?”

“No, not at all. You should probably take it off.”

I nudged him with a playful look as we reached the porch. He grinned back, taking it off and slinging it off of his shoulder. I knocked on the door, looking at Goku again—he’d gotten some fur in his hair. I chuckled, pressing up on my toes and holding onto his shoulder to keep me steady as I plucked them out of his hair. He looked down in pleased confusion.

The door swung open and I was hit with a familiar ‘ooo’. I froze, my cheeks heating up as I turned to look at my older sister. Gita grinned, hazel eyes shining mischievously behind her glasses. She crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe, glancing between us curiously.

“Well, well, is this why you haven’t come around, Trixie? Got a new boyfriend?”

I rolled my arms, looking away. “He’s not my boyfriend, Gita.”

Her eyes crinkled as she laughed. “Oh, sure, not yet! What’s your name, handsome fella?”

“I’m Goku.”

“Goku. Nice to meetya. I’m Gita, Trixie’s big sister.”

She shook his hand firmly, making her bangles clink against each other.

“Oh, firm grip,” she remarked, taking her hand back and placing both on her hips, “You’re as strong as you look.”

She nodded, patting his shoulder with a smile. “Come on in, food’s almost ready.”

Gita opened the door for us, welcoming Goku in and giving me a wink. I shook my head profusely, but she only chuckled, pinching my cheek.

“Still so shy, huh, lil sis?”

The sound of Bulma’s laugh danced along the walls as music and the aroma of food reached my senses. Gita rubbed my shoulder, and we lingered by the door for a moment as she gave me a meaningful look.

“How are you doing?”

I looked at her, smiling a little. “It’s…not easy.”

She nodded. “I know. It hasn’t been easy for any of us.”

I hummed, looking at the ground. She wrapped her arm around me, then pulled me into a tight embrace.

“I’m glad you’re finally here. We’ve all been waiting for ya, kid. No one blames you.”

I slowly hugged her back, inhaling the scent of gardenias that clung to her dark, silky hair, feeling my heart release a little.

“I missed you guys a lot,” I said quietly, “I just, I couldn’t—“

She rubbed my back soothingly, making me fall silent.

“I know. We missed you, too.”

She pulled back, smiling. “You have nothing to explain. Okay?”

I nodded. She cupped my cheek, giving me a hard look.

“I want to hear you agree, Trix.”

I smiled. “Okay.”

She nodded. “Okay. Let’s go. You still have Kuno and Cai left to give you a hard time about your piece of man candy.”

I grumbled as she laughed again, ushering me inside.

“He’s not—“

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you’ve already talked Bulma’s ear off with your friend spiel.”

I blushed. “I don’t—“

“Well, look at you, all grown up.”

I turned to see Kuno eyeing me up, blonde eyebrows raised. A smile played on his lips as he came over to me, uncrossing his arms as I gasped.

“What the fuck did you get so ripped for,” I accused in disbelief.

He laughed, trapping me in a bear hug and picking me up. I fought to breathe but patted him on the back. He’d completely changed from the skinny guy I remembered.

“Hey, I’ve been hitting the gym,” he said, with a shrug, “Not to mention all the heavy lifting at work.”

“What do you do now?”

“Moving company,” he said, picking up a wine glass off of the dining table and passing it to me, earning a dirty look from Gita, “Furniture, boxes, the like.”

“Although, your guy over there’s giving me a run for my money,” he said, nudging me with his elbow.

“He’s not my guy,” I insisted, taking a sip of wine, “If everyone keeps saying that, I’m gonna need this more than Gita.”

He chuckled, patting my shoulder. Cai and Bulma’s laughs rounded the corner into the dining room before they did, cheeks flushed and holding glasses of liquor. I shook my head with a smile.

“God, what is it with this family and alcohol,” I remarked, sipping from the glass as well.

“Nothing wrong with having a good time,” Kuno said, patting my head, “You’ve been gone too long.”

I smiled at him, pushing him lightly and leaving the room. Bulma seemed better, which eased some of the pressure in my chest. A bit of it returned at the sight of my parents and Goku hitting it off in the kitchen, though. My mom caught sight of me first as they all laughed together, and came over to me, eyes twinkling.

“Oh, baby, I’m so glad you’re here.”

She kissed my forehead, hugging me tenderly. I hugged her back.

“Hey, Mom.”

“How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good.”

“Mm, you need anything? Bulma taking care of you?”

“I actually moved back to the observatory. Had to call Delilah but she agreed. It’s mine now.”

She smiled and nodded, but her eyes showed concern.

“I don’t like the idea of you being out there in the ice all alone…”

I chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t see myself being left alone for a while.”

My father’s laughter caught my attention, and I glanced between him and Goku. Mom pinched my cheek, giving me a smile.

“He’s sweet,” she said, leaning over towards me, “Nice catch.”

“He—“

With a sigh, I smiled back, shoulders slumping a little. Might as well take the compliment at this point. Goku turned and smiled, and I smiled back shyly—he had to have heard that. My father finally saw me around him, and his eyes lit up.

“Oh, Bellatrix! I swear, I didn’t even recognize you, you look so beautiful—oh, come here!”

I gasped for air as my father laughed, squeezing me in an even tighter bear hug than Kuno’s.

“Dad—Dad!”

“Oh, I’ve missed my little starlight so much!”

I blushed as I met Goku’s eyes, seeing his amused smile.

“Dad!”

“God, you’re all skin and bones; let’s get you fed—honey, are we all ready to eat?”

“Dad, I’m dying here,” I gasped out.

Mom laughed. “Yes, I think—oh no!”

Her eyes widened in sudden recollection. “I forgot desert!”

“I think I’m blacking out—“

“Oh no! That’s no good at all! We’ve got dinner all ready to go, though…”

“We can get it,” Goku offered.

Dad turned to him, swinging me along with him.

“Oh, you’d do that for us son? Thanks so much.”

“I’ll go write up a list—keep the food warm, honey!”

Mom rushed off, and Goku gently pried me out of my father’s arms, earning a grateful look from me. He chuckled, leaning down to say something in my ear.

“Little starlight?”

I slapped his shoulder, sputtering in embarrassment as he straightened up and laughed.

“Shut up.”

Mom shoved a list and keys in my hand, along with a wad of cash and ushered us out of the door in a panic.

“And don’t dilly dally, you two!”

I laughed softly as the dogs ran up to us again, sniffing and barking and circling us as we got in the car. I was about to turn the ignition, but gave Goku a look.

“Seatbelt.”

“Oh! Sorry.”

He buckled up, and we were off.

***

Dinner was loud, happy, and plentiful. I sat between Gita and Bulma, laughing, drinking, and laughing some more. There was so much joy in one little room that I felt that it could burst open at any second. Goku, Kuno and my father all bounced off of each other seamlessly, and when Goku was, well, Goku, they only seemed to appreciate it more.

“You’re quite the simple man, Goku,” my father remarked, patting him on the shoulder with a beaming smile, “God, you’re just made of muscle aren’t you? He’s gonna give you a run for your money, Kuno!”

Kuno laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, that is one race I’ll gladly avoid.”

Goku glanced between them with some confusion, but kept smiling nonetheless.

“Heh, thanks!”

I nudged Bulma. “See, they like him, even without the jacket.”

She gave me a look, and I laughed, sipping more wine. My eyes gravitated to the empty seat between Cai and Mom. A steaming plate of food sat there, accompanied by his favorite childhood cup half filled with brandy. I smiled at it bittersweetly. For the first time, his absence didn’t feel so brutal.

“—Eh, Trix?”

I blinked in confusion, realizing everyone was looking at me. Mom looked at me soulfully, a gentle smile formed on her lips. Kuno cleared his throat, and Cai rubbed his shoulder soothingly. I looked around with some shame.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“There’s nothing to feel sorry for honey,” Dad assured, “We all feel it too.”

I looked to Bulma, seeing her staring at the empty chair with misty eyes. I pulled her close and embraced her firmly, placing a kiss on her forehead. She leaned her head against mine, wrapping an arm around my waist. I closed my eyes.

For the first time, it wasn’t just me who felt the pain of his absence, and the world kept spinning despite it.

Cai stood, raising his beer bottle.

“To Adam,” he said, “The only grown man I knew who drank brown liquor out of a superhero cup.”

With a laugh, I raised my glass.

“To the best man I ever knew,” I added.

Kuno rose his. “To the man who never gave up on me.”

Some emotion rose up my throat at his words, and I felt my eyes threaten to water. I smiled.

“Here, here.”

Kuno nodded at me soberly, still managing a smile on his face.

Everyone raised their glasses and cups in silence for a moment, until my father spoke.

“To have lost a man like him is something no one could ever recover from,” he said, looking down at his plate wistfully, “But he’s with us all. Each of us carry a piece of his love in our hearts, and for that we should all keep smiling.”

Mom hummed in affirmation. “Mm, yes. He’d want us to be smiling.”

Bulma sniffed, and I felt some droplets fall onto my chest. I stroked her hair, and Dad came over to take her hand.

The superhero cup of brandy knocked over.

I froze, looking in shock. Everyone’s attention snapped to the spilling brandy, the rolling cup that gradually stilled, and the wind billowing through curtains that covered a window that definitely hadn’t been open before.

I smiled, feeling my eyes growing misty.

“I think he wants us to stop being so down in the dumps,” I said quietly, “Typical.”

I could feel him. I could remember him. The smiling big brother I’d known and loved. Somehow the blood had become a forgotten dream.

***

“Okay, okay, let me just—“

I giggled as I fumbled for the light switch and Goku clung to me, half holding me steady and half gluing himself to my body.

“Goku!”

“What,” he whined.

“Someone’s gonna see,” I insisted, still laughing at the feeling of him nuzzling my shoulder, “Hey, that tickles!”

“Everyone’s outside, no one’s g’na see,” he muttered, “They all know, anyways…”

“Know what?”

He laughed, holding me tighter. I finally flicked on the light switch and we stumbled inside my old bedroom, Goku shutting the door behind him as I opened the window. I sighed, turning around to see him creeping around my childhood telescope and squeaked, moving him away.

“Be careful!”

“I’m not gonna break it,” he said, smiling.

I giggled as I guided him to the bed, and we both collapsed with a groan.

“God, my family can drink…”

“I see where you get it from,” he said.

I laughed. “Oh please, I tapped out after three glasses of wine.”

Goku stared at me as my laughter slowly faded, and I held his gaze. I frowned in confusion.

“What?”

He moved closer, swallowing.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, “So beautiful and so smart and funny…”

I giggled nervously. “Thanks, I guess.”

“I mean it,” he said.

“Okay.”

“No…it’s not okay.”

His eyebrows creased, and he touched my face.

“It’s not okay…”

My drunkenness wore off slightly as Goku’s thumb stroked my cheek repeatedly while I stared into his eyes. The room was still spinning around us, but I was stilled by his gaze. I took his hand in mine, moving closer to him. The space remaining between us felt so vast—how were we going to bridge it? I shut my eyes, placing his hand on my chest. Goku inhaled sharply.

“Feel that,” I asked.

“Feel—feel what?”

“How steady my heart is. My heartbeat.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s what you do to me.”

He fell silent. I pressed his hand closer.

“No one else makes me feel this except you.”

I opened my eyes, holding his gaze. “…No one else is like you, Goku.”

With some uncertainty I reached out and touched his face, feeling my hand tremble slightly as my palm cupped his cheek. I smiled at the feeling of him, of the warmth, of his presence. Maybe it was the alcohol, but in this moment, I didn’t want him to leave my side ever again.

“You’re too sweet,” I said, tracing his jaw with my fingertip, “Too sweet.”

His voice asked a soft question. “Bellatrix?”

I almost wanted to touch his mouth, to feel his voice passing through his lips. I sighed.

“Shit Goku, what did you do to me?”

“What? I didn’t do anything. At least…I don’t think…”

I laughed softly, shaking my head. “Oh, you did something, alright. You’re doing it right now.”

“I am?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not very convincing when you act coy, Goku.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer—the vastness that seemed so daunting was shattered in mere seconds.

“I like you,” he said, brushing his nose against mine, “I like you a lot.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I know.”

“No, I really like you.”

“I know.”

“Like…like Chichi…”

I laughed again. “Goku, I think we’re a bit drunk.”

“N-no, did you hear me? I like you.”

“I heard you,” I assured softly.

He smiled, gently taking my chin. “Do ya like me?”

I hesitated despite myself. I let out a sigh as Goku waited for me to answer with increasing unease. The words I’d been holding back spilled out.

“I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

“I like you, Goku, but I’m scared.”

I took the hand that held my chin, timidly brushing my lips against it, shutting my eyes.

“If I lost you too…”

My breath trembled as I pressed my lips against his knuckles.

“My heart would break all over again, and I don’t know if I’d survive it.”

“I’m not like her,” he whispered.

I smiled, placing his hand on my waist and pulling him closer, pressing my face into the crook of his neck, pressing my lips against his pulse, losing myself in him.

“You always smell so nice,” I said.

“‘Trix,” he insisted, “I’m not like her.”

“You’re not like anybody, Goku.”

I pulled away from his neck and looked at him again.

“People like you, like my brother…you can’t be replaced. You know that, right? It always leaves a hole when you’re gone, and it won’t get filled again because there’s no one like you that can heal it.”

I looked down at his lips. I finally touched them, caressing them with the pad of my thumb.

“If I fell in love with you…and I lost you…”

His hold around me tightened.

“I won’t ever leave you.”

“I didn’t say leave,” I corrected with a chuckle, “I said lost.”

His brow furrowed, and I rubbed the wrinkles until it relaxed. He let out a sigh, shutting his eyes.

“Of course you wouldn’t leave. People like you don’t leave. People like you are taken away.”

“I won’t get taken.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No, I won’t.”

I pulled back slightly, looking him square in the eye.

“You died before, right? While you were with Chichi? Your son? How do you think it felt for them when you were taken away?”

“I…I know it wasn’t easy—“

“Easy? Look at how I’ve been without Adam.”

I poked his temple with a chuckle. “I want you to hear me. Get these words into that Saiyan brain of yours.”

He looked at my mouth intently, making me grin.

“When you die, the people you love die with you. When you go off doing amazing things, the people you love are left behind, aching for you. Us normal people aren’t as strong as you are, we can’t hang on and keep up with your story. We don’t want a story. We want a simple life. We want to be happy, do good work, and have peace and love—and we want to love you.”

There was pregnant silence until he smiled.

He took my face in his hands, eyes twinkling. “You want to love me?”

I sighed sharply. “Did you hear a single word I said?”

“Yeah, I did. But…you want to love me?”

He grazed my lips and my jaw with his knuckles, and, feeling the slight callous formed, I pressed my lips against it.

“I don’t think I have a choice at this point. It’s going to happen…I can feel it. I’m going to fall in love with you. And I’m scared. You’re—you’re so beautiful and…I can’t—”

I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts. “I can’t lose you, too.”

“You won’t,” he assured firmly.

I smiled. “Goku…you can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can. I won’t.”

There was a fire in his eyes that shook me. I bit my lip, then let out a sigh.

“I can’t lose you, either.”

I looked up at him in surprise.

“You’re all I can think about sometimes. You always make me feel so great and so happy. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that way about someone else besides Chichi.”

He pressed his forehead against mine, lips ghosting over mine as he let out a shaky breath.

“I really messed up with her…I can’t mess up with you, too.”

“Goku…”

For some reason, the thought of kissing him actually dawned on me for the first time. I pressed my hand against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to do this again.”

The possibility of his lips was so close. It made me feel hasty. Thirsty. Anxious. Goku felt it too, I could tell. He swallowed nervously.

“That’s okay. I never feel ready to do anything.”

I laughed. “You’re too sweet, Goku.”

I could feel the feverish urge building between us.

“You’re…perfect,” he breathed.

I shook my head. “No one’s perfect. It’s a good thing.”

“Bellatrix…”

“Yeah?”

“I need to kiss you.”

“I know.”

“Right now.”

“I know.”

We were silent. I stared at his mouth. He waited for me eagerly—always so gentle, so careful with me. I needed him, I knew it. I blinked, trying to keep whatever wits I had left about me.

“We can’t go back to how we are now, if…if we do that.”

“I don’t want to.”

Oh, god.

He licked his lips, clearly struggling to contain himself.

“I need you, ‘Trix…I can’t fight it anymore. I need you.”

His words echoed in my mind. I need you.

My eyebrows creased. I swallowed.

“I—“

He inched closer, hand inching down my waist to my hip. I leaned towards him.

“I need you too.”

His hand took hold of my hip firmly, pulling my body against his. My leg passed over his hips, and the bed creaked as my knees sunk into the mattress. My face was flushed—here I was, straddling the man I swore up and down I wasn’t going to give in to. I stared down at his face, his shining eyes, his slight smile, his tousled hair from the fun of the night; it as all so beautiful.

His hands clung to my hips, teasing the possibility of embarking to the bare skin under my shirt. I leaned down, cupping his cheek, pressing a soft kiss onto the corner of his mouth. His hands twitched and held onto me tighter. With a smile I leaned up and he followed, seeking to return the kiss. I placed another on his cheek, coaxing him to sit up fully and resting on his lap. Goku laughed breathlessly. I stared at his curved, laughing mouth and slung my arms over his shoulders, pressing my weight onto him and tilted my head.

“Are you sure,” I whispered.

“Please,” he muttered, brushing his lips against mine, “Come here already.”

I laughed softly at the cracks in his restraint.

“I don’t want to make a mistake for us,” I said, “We need to decide.”

He took my face in his hands, smiling. “I want you, Bellatrix.”

I smiled back, nodding. “Okay. I want you, too.”

His eyes crinkled as his smile grew. “Good.”

Goku’s focus quickly shifted to the matter of most importance though, and his hands roamed my body with newfound confidence.

“Now come here.”

Our breaths trembled as our lips finally met. He pressed his tongue into my mouth sharply and I softened his advance by making mine supple against his, taking a gentle hold of his face. He had so much friction in his energy now that he had been given the okay it made me wonder how long he’d been holding himself back—was it the first time we met?

It didn’t take much time for him to follow my lead and be more gentle with me. We moved further onto the bed soon after, unable to part our lips for even a moment. The bed creaked under our aimless movement as I eased onto my back and pulled him on top of me by his shirt, managing a smile and to pull myself away for a second.

“Bulma was…was diabolical to put you in these,” I said with a chuckle.

He quickly took my lips with his again, then smiled against my mouth.

“You like it?”

I tucked my fingers around his belt and tugged his hips further down between my legs and grinned.

“I fuckin’ love it.”

I shot up and kissed him a bit more passionately, my eyebrows furrowing. Goku moaned slightly, and I bit his lower lip, making him yelp a little in surprise and break his lips from mine.

“What was that for?”

I frowned, my mind starting to get clouded with lust. “Huh?”

“You bit me…did I do something wrong?”

“What?”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Oh, shit, no, no, sorry, I should’ve asked if you liked that or not—“

“I do, I just didn’t know if—“

“Fuck, I’m sorry to cut you off, I just—“

I sighed desperately as I stole another kiss, gripping his jeans tighter as Goku sensed I’d changed somehow and kissed me harder, pressing himself against me. I felt how hard he was and my head spun—I was dangerously close to forgetting we were technically in my family home on the loudest mattress on earth.

“We should—we should be smart,” I muttered thoughtlessly between kisses, “Someone’ll hear the bed if we fucked right now.”

“But I want to fuck you now,” he complained a little, kisses starting to stray from my mouth, “I can smell you, how am I supposed to control myself when I can smell how ready your pussy is for me?”

I blushed as his sudden crassness, but it made me want him more. I laughed breathlessly, aching at the feeling of his hard cock against pressed against my clit through my jeans. He pressed a little harder and I grazed my nails over his arm, feeling a wave of heat pass through my whole body. He chuckled, capturing my parted lips and biting my lower lip in return.

“See?”

I was already unbuttoning my pants. He grinned, unzipping them, tracing the waistband of my underwear with his fingertips.

“Fuck, Goku, you’re gonna get me in trouble.”

“It’s okay,” he assured, voice growing husky, “I won’t fuck you if you don’t want it. I just…”

My brain didn’t even process what he’d done until Goku had tossed my pants to the floor and lowered my hips against the mattress again. Not one squeak, and he’d gotten my pants off already. I gasped as I felt his thumb swipe over my clit, then rub it gently. I bit my lip, grabbing onto his shoulder.

“Goku,” I whimpered quietly.

“I just need to taste you, that’s all.”

His voice had completely changed. His entire demeanor had changed; he sounded deathly serious. I could imagine this is how he was in a fight—composed, focused, precise, and absolutely ruining his opponent.

He pulled my underwear apart without much effort, and his breath audibly stilted at the sight of my soaked cunt. I could only hope one of us could keep from going over the edge.

He leaned down over me again, kissing me hungrily, prompting me to respond eagerly in kind.

“Can I feel you,” he asked breathlessly.

I had absolutely no idea what he meant by that, and no intention of turning him down.

“God, please, yes.”

The bed gave the slightest creak as he carefully pushed my legs farther apart and kissed down my body, pushing my shirt up to plant kisses all over my chest and abdomen, then sink his teeth into one of my hips, making me moan softly and grip his hair. His fingers gripped my thighs as his mouth found my pussy, and with a quiet grunt, slid his tongue inside of me, then ran it over my clit as one of his hands released me.

I had a brutal grip on his hair as his tongue continued to work its magic on my clit—it was taking everything in me to keep myself still, to keep my hips in place, to not cry out his name as he sucked on my clit, making my head fall against the pillow. My chest was heaving.

“Goku,” I gasped, “This—is not careful—!”

He slid his fingers inside of me and I was completely his.

“Fuck, don’t stop…”

He didn’t smile, he just kept devouring and fucking my pussy with his diabolical tongue and big, strong fingers. I grabbed onto the headboard with my other hand, trying desperately to keep my hips still as he planted kisses on my inner thigh as I started to clench around him. I could hear the way I was gushing around his fingers as he thrusted them in and out.

“That’s it,” he whispered against my skin, “C’mon, ‘Trix…”

I couldn’t speak a word, only crush the headboard under my grip as his mouth went back to my cunt, sending me over the edge, when—

I froze as Goku slid his fingers out, breathing almost as heavily as me. He pulled back and sat up, the moonlight shining down on his dark eyes as he put the two glistening fingers in his mouth, holding my gaze until he groaned, shutting his eyes. I was completely disoriented at this point as my body burned for release. His eyes opened again as he slid his fingers out of his mouth, grinning down at me.

“It’s just as good as I thought it would be.”

As I slowly started to realize he wasn’t going to give me the release I needed so badly, I put a hand on my forehead and laughed softly.

“Oh, you evil son-of-a-bitch,” I said, letting my legs fall to the side. “Thank fucking god.”

He chuckled as I sat up, looking him up and down and giving him a little glare.

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Well, you definitely weren’t going to stop anytime soon.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “And whose fault was that?”

He only gave me a big smile. I planted a kiss on his cheek, getting off of the bed and feeling around for my pants on the ground. When I found them, I tossed aside my torn underwear and put them back on.

“Where did my glasses go,” I whispered, “Are they on the bed somewhere?”

Goku handed me them as he stood, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. I put on my glasses as I laughed softly.

“This is probably the only time I’m gonna ask for this, but can you instant transmission me to the observatory?”

“Can I stay the night?”

“Maybe if you’d let me come just now, but I don’t feel so generous anymore.”

“Awe, why not?”

I smiled up at him as he put his fingers to his forehead, and we disappeared from the dark, quiet bedroom.

***

“Rise and shine, boss.”

I inhaled sharply as the blinds automatically opened, and my bedroom filled with the cool, muted sunlight of an arctic morning. The lights turned on after and I groaned, turning to shield my eyes in Goku’s chest.

I paused, tensing up. Goku’s chest?

My eyes went from the white t-shirt to Goku’s peaceful face, and my brain spun. What…what was he doing in my observatory, in my bed? I tried to sit up, but he groaned in protest, holding me tighter—holy fuck, I’d been asleep in his arms. I racked my memory of the night before desperately—what could’ve happened to warrant waking up like this? We were clothed, but I didn’t have underwear on, which was concerning since I recalled going to a family dinner.

He nuzzled my neck, and it all came flooding back like an avalanche—the drinking, the smiles, the way his fingers felt inside me, the way I pulled his arms tighter around me was we fell asleep on the bed. I looked back at his face, his lips, and sighed quietly. Life happens, whether you’re ready or not.

I placed a gentle kiss on his lips to wake him up, smiling as he frowned, groaning again.

“Get up, you big goof,” I teased, “Or do you not want breakfast?”

His eyes slowly opened and he squinted down at me.

“…Bellatrix?”

My stomach flipped at the confusion in his eyes.

I sure as fuck am not ready.

{ 130 }

3RROR.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

notes: unedited; canon divergent...

sung jinwoo always knew that deep down, he would forever belong to cha hae-in-

so when the system provided him a message that told him he would know of his fated one within a week's time, the shadow monarch felt a bit concerned.

he kept on staring blankly at the message that popped up within his periphery, eyebrows furrowed in utter and complete confusion. what was the system trying to tell him?

surely, it would reveal to him that cha hae-in was his fated one right? there was no mistaking that he felt so comfortable around her. he had gotten stronger for her, even protected her from the dangers of the world.

he recalls all the fond memories he had together with her, and the many nights he spent laying in bed with her- having late night conversations about nothing and everything all at once.

when she confessed to him after joining his guild, jinwoo swore that he became so ecstatic. never once had he felt such immeasurable joy before in his life.

"cha hae-in is everything to me."

jinwoo found himself stating with confidence, simply ignoring the system's message to him as he swipes the transparent blue screen away from him.

it was probably nothing to worry about. after all...

he was certain the system would flash him an image of cha hae-in, further confirming his beliefs that they were meant to be together in this universe- and each and every one beyond and in between.

the young hunter stopped worrying about it then, the strange message all but disappearing from his mind when he receives a call from his beloved girlfriend. all too eager to talk to her, he answers on the second ring.

"sarang...hello, how was your day?"

{ ... }

the days pass by him in a blur, with jinwoo feeling like he was on top of the world. after enjoying his date together with cha hae-in, they spend the night together in bed. he listens to her talking about plans for their upcoming mission, and their date afterwards.

"so i was wondering, did you want to try out this new restaurant with me?"

he was ready to answer her when a sudden message pops up from his periphery. jinwoo bites down on his bottom lip, unable to answer her as his eyes take in the screen that he knew hae-in couldn't see.

"jinwoo?" her soft voice calls out to him, yet all he could see was the system's flashing message hovering over him.

the shadow monarch's fated one...

a morbid curiosity fills him, and the young man was confident that it would flash hae-in's name, or her face. he waits with bated breath, watching the screen flash once more before revealing a picture-

a picture that did not display cha hae-in's beautiful face.

instead, he came face to face with a different young woman, one who had a more unique beauty in comparison to hae-in. his mouth turns dry, taking in her features and the color of her eyes. he was only able to catch a glimpse of the strange, new girl and her name before the screen fades to black.

3RR0R 3RR0R 3RR0R 333333333333333333

a slew of error messages were seen, causing jinwoo's eyes to water slightly as his head began to pound, feeling overwhelmed-

and it all stopped, immediately replacing the girl's picture with cha hae-in's profile and her name printed below in neat lettering.

cha hae-in.

jinwoo felt cold now, unable to think clearly as he kept going back to that strange image of that girl- the woman that wasn't cha hae-in. for some odd reason, just recalling her photo was enough to make jinwoo's heart pound.

"jin!" a sudden cry of his name breaks him out of his reveries, with his silvery eyes meeting with hae-in's stormy gaze. "are you alright? what's wrong, you look like you've seen a ghost."

"it's nothing." there was a sudden hoarseness in jinwoo's voice, and he was praying that she would not realize that something was innately wrong with him. ever since the system showed him a picture of that strange girl before switching back to hae-in, he knew that he was caught in a turmoil.

what did this mean?

who are you?

but he bites back those feelings, simply taking cha hae-in within his embrace, hoping that her close proximity would force his heart to remember who it truly belonged to-

"jinwoo?"

"let's just go to sleep, sarang. it's been a long day..."

he refuses to accept that visions of the strange girl were what invaded his dreams now, making his life a bit more complicated than it already was.

{ ... }

months had passed since that time, and he struggled to find answers.

all throughout his mind, he kept seeing that picture... repeating the name over and over again, the name of his first 'fated one.'

he repeats it so many times, but always away from his girlfriend. and he honestly felt so guilty, putting such a distance between them. she was the first one, the one who was by his side and even admitted her love to-

yet why did the system show him a different girl? was it really an error-

or was he the one who made the mistake?

he didn't know what to do. all he knew was that he couldn't keep ignoring cha hae-in's texts and calls-

and in order to do that, he had to get closure.

he had to find her.

so he spent yet another day searching, after he finished his missions and duties as a guild master, he explores the streets of seoul, never once daring to stop until he could see the mysterious woman.

just as jinwoo was crossing the street, he catches sight of a familiar head of hair, watching the rich color of it shining from beneath the sunlight. jinwoo's mind went blank, tasting the faint scent of her perfume and strawberry shampoo when she passes by him without a second glance.

and he knew that he was doomed then-

because you were beautiful.

{ ... }

you felt happy, simply going on with your day as you decided to go to your favorite bookstore. it had been a rough week for you, with your job becoming more stressful than ever.

along with your normal job, you moonlight as a healer for the hunter's association. you weren't part of a guild, but helped other guilds when needed. because of the fact that you were basically balancing two jobs, you end up not having as much free time.

so, you decided to treat yourself to something nice when you did have some free time.

in just a couple of minutes, you enter your favorite bookstore and began browsing for something nice to read. your exploration takes you to near the back wall, where you saw a book that you liked.

just as your hand reaches up to grab it, you found that someone else takes it away from you, making you frown in response.

a word of protest was about to escape from your parted lips when it suddenly dies within your throat. in front of you was a tall young man, and he had to be the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. with soft, wavy strands of jet black and and grey eyes, you were captivated by him.

he scans the cover of the book that you wanted and flashes you a tiny smile. "did you want this?"

you had to fight back the heat that was threatening to dye your cheeks upon hearing the sound of his voice. "y-yes, i did want this book, but..."

your question dies on your lips when he flashes you a perfect smile. "no problem, let me buy this book for you then."

you were taken aback by his sudden kindness. "ah, no! you don't need to do that!"

"but i insist."

"i can b-buy it myself."

"consider it a gift."

"w-what if i want a different book?"

"then i guess i'll buy you the other book, too."

you were feeling flustered now, knowing that this beautiful stranger would not back down. "o-okay... fine then..."

he gives you a triumphant smile, suddenly stepping closer to you as he leans down to get a better look at your face.

"do you wish to repay me...?"

"y-yes..." you tell him, feeling your breath get stuck within your throat.

"then, tell me your name..."

his tone was soft, yet there was a hard edge in his eyes, appearing like he was hiding something from you. with a shiver, you tell him the syllables that make up your name, with him repeating your name in a bit of a seductive tone-

one that was a bit too intimate for you.

he appears torn for a brief second, meeting your eyes before looking away from you. "my name's jinwoo sung..."

"jinwoo." you test his name against your lips, and there was a sudden intense expression seen within his gaze.

"can you do one more thing for me as repayment?" jinwoo suddenly asks you, giving you little chance to respond as you could only nod at him.

"...join me for some coffee."

and who were you to say no to this gorgeous stranger?

{ ... }

his mind was telling him that this was wrong-

but oh, did it feel so right being with you like this.

he offers you the cup of coffee he bought before sitting across from you, already growing intrigued by you as the minutes pass.

you looked adorable, sitting across from him while clutching your newly purchased book close to your chest. he found your mannerisms to be adorable, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of you.

"so, tell me about yourself."

jinwoo tries to reign in his emotions, doing his best to put on a nonchalant front as he willed his heart to stop beating so fast for you ( regardless of how hard it was ).

you end up giving him a kind smile, "i currently moonlight as a healer."

"is that so? and your rank?"

"ah, close to a b-rank, it's hard, but i don't mind helping hunters and their goals on eliminating the monsters that enter our world."

"yeah...?" jinwoo tries to stop his heart from beating too fast, but he could not deny that you were far lovelier up close and in person. the sweet scent of your perfume was enough to get him drunk off of you-

but he had to stop.

he had to find reasons to not want you- to hate you even.

because could he do this to cha hae-in? could he admit to her that the system gave him such a strange message, showing him your face instead of hers while calling you his fated one?

jinwoo didn't think he could bear it.

so he asks questions, a million questions that got personal.

what's your family like?

what are your goals?

what is your deepest desire and dreams?

and shockingly, he found that you had answered every single one of his questions with complete honesty-

and how they matched up perfectly with his own goals and ideals.

you, who had a loving family that raised you with care and a younger sibling.

you, who had a strong desire to protect and save others, which was why you trained so hard to be a healer.

you, who's deepest desire was to be loved and start a family with your fated one.

it was all too much for him.

jinwoo stands from his seat then, unable to handle being in your presence for a moment longer.

"i'm sorry, this was a mistake, an error. just... forget about me."

"w-what? jinwoo, what do you mean, why did you-"

"i have a fiancée, her name is cha hae-in, and i love her deeply." jinwoo watches as a hurt expression crosses your features, willing for the pang in his chest to go away. "i only wanted to speak to you out of mere curiosity, nothing more and nothing less. you can keep that book as my gift to you."

he looks away from you, not daring to look back at you even as his heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

{ ... }

the next several months were like agony to him, and he could not seem to think straight.

his mind kept on replaying the confused, and hurt expression that warps your beauty. he could still see the tears brimming in your eyes-

because he had hurt you out of nowhere, for seemingly no good reason.

and not only that, but he was hurting cha hae-in as well.

jinwoo knew he had to come clean to her, that he had never been the same once the system did that to him. because his heart was in such a turmoil as of late, he went all out on his explorations of the dungeon, ripping apart each and every one of the monsters he comes across with his legions of shadows.

only when he was certain that every beast was eliminated did he finally stop, coming back home near the early hours of dawn. the moment he opens his door, he was met face to face with cha hae-in.

tears were brimming in her eyes when she stands from her spot on the couch, finally confronting him.

"jinwoo, what's gotten into you? you've been acting so distant with me, and it... it hurts, jinwoo."

he feels his heart twisting in response to her pain, yet he could do little to reverse what had already happened-

jinwoo had fallen out of love with her...

and he could not stop thinking about you.

jinwoo lifts up a hand in a poor attempt to try and comfort her, yet... he could not bring himself to do so. with a sigh of her name, jinwoo gets down on his knees for her.

"you will not forgive me for this, but, you have to know."

he then confesses to her about the system and the messages it had been giving him, going straight to the point as the system showed him that his fated one was not her at first, but you instead.

"i only caught a glimpse of her and her name, b-but then, it faded to black and revealed you to me. but by that point, i was already too far gone..."

"i actively searched for her, doing my best to convince myself that when the system flashed another woman's picture, that it was a mistake. that there was no way she could be the one for me when i have been with you for so long."

"but when i found her... god, i knew it was over."

tears were streaming down cha hae-in's face, turning her eyes red as she physically slapped him across his face. jinwoo could feel the stinging pain, his face already beginning to bruise when he weakly calls out to her.

"cha hae-in, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry-"

"you were right. we- we're... we're over sung jinwoo." he could tell that cha hae-in was struggling to keep her voice even, anguish painting her tone when she screams at him, "get out, just...GO!"

not wishing to hurt her for a second longer, jinwoo stands back to his full height, unable to meet her gaze as she began to sob uncontrollably. his heart was breaking into two, forcing himself to step outside of the apartment complex and into the pouring rain.

he felt so broken now, and it was while he was at his lowest point that he heard a voice mocking him.

my, humans are such fickle creatures after all.

he freezes, not even feeling the needle-like rain anymore as he clenches his fists in response.

"you... you did this to me?!"

a cruel laughter was all that was heard, making jinwoo's eyes glow an iridescent violet as he looks around him, his shadow already shifting in response to his turmoil.

"tell me, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

isn't it obvious? for the fun of it all.

jinwoo was breathing heavily, listening as the voice seemed to laugh, surrounding him with the sound.

i did it as a mere test, to see if your heart would falter for even the slightest bit. there are no such things as soulmates or fated ones, since they are a mere fairytale made up by humans.

you never had a fated one; i simply flashed you that woman's picture to see how you would react. you have given me quite the show, shadow monarch.

his blood was rushing through his ears, somehow finding a strange sense of comfort within the system's words.

"tell me where she lives."

...

"i said...show me where she lives at this very moment."

it takes a few minutes, and jinwoo was close to breaking the system had it not been for a new notification appearing before him, showing an address that he was certain would lead him back to you.

{ ... }

you couldn't bring yourself to read the book jinwoo had purchased for you-

because each time you would look at it, you would begin to burst out into tears.

why was he so cruel to you?

and why did he act like he was interested in you, only to rip apart your hopes when he tells you about his fiancée...

gods, were you really this stupid?

much like how you were feeling, your heart was still crying like the storm settled outside of your apartment. the rain kept pelting at your windows, and you found yourself falling into a deeper depression.

"i can't stop thinking about him."

your voice comes out as broken, unable to smile weeks later, after he had left you so suddenly. you let out soft sniffles while holding your blanket close.

perhaps you should order something to eat, to help with cheering yourself up.

the heavens knew just how little you had been taking care of yourself, which made you feel even more pathetic-

jinwoo wasn't supposed to mean anything to you- you knew that for a fact-

but still, you couldn't stop yourself from hoping.

he just felt so perfect for you... with his kind eyes and easy smile-

it was difficult to not fall in love with him.

shaking your head, you go back to your phone to order your favorite foods, paying for it all as you prayed that eating such delicious meals will help with cheering you up. once you were done ordering, you decided to wash your face, wanting to cleanse yourself of your tears as you did your best to feel happy once more.

about ten minutes have passed when you heard someone knocking at your door. you look at the clock on your wall and frown.

did takeout orders usually come this fast?

not even questioning it, you answer the door-

only to come face to face with jinwoo himself, holding a beautiful bouquet in his hand.

you gasp and shut the door on his face on purpose, but could not fully close it when he stops you by placing his foot against your door. he was too strong, and you were unable to push him out when he forces his way into your apartment.

he was soaking wet, his chest heaving with uneven breaths, making it appear like he had been running in the rain. you wanted to ask him what he was doing here, yet no words would come out.

jinwoo continues gazing at you, with a strange, soft look in his eyes. "the only error i have made was ever hurting you."

you back away from him, watching as jinwoo shuts your door completely before holding your gaze.

"the system be damned, what i feel for you did not come from anything false or synthetic. what i feel for you is real."

your lips begin to tremble as you shakily call out his name, unsure of what he was talking about. "j-jinwoo."

"i love you, okay? i stopped thinking clearly the moment i saw your face again."

his sudden confession makes you freeze in your spot, allowing him to come closer to you as he held you in his powerful embrace.

"you're all i can think about... and... you fit me so well." jinwoo's eyes were practically burning for you, and he keeps looking at you with such a desperation that you could not bring yourself to look away from him.

"so please...forgive me. let me love you like i've always wanted to- like i've always felt like i needed to the moment we had crossed paths with each other."

the silence that was settled between you and jinwoo was deafening, but you had to force yourself to speak first. "t-this isn't a dream? you're really here... standing in front of me, confessing your love for me...?"

jinwoo says nothing, simply stepping closer to you as he presses the lovely bouquet against your chest, silently beckoning you to take it. with a slight nod, you take it, suddenly feeling jinwoo taking a hold of your free hand as he presses the palm of it over his chest.

you could feel the rapid thrumming of his heartbeat, knowing that it was racing for you as you look up at him in awe.

"jinwoo..."

"these feelings are no lie... i can't live without you, so please- give me a chance to love you."

the moment you give jinwoo a nod was the moment jinwoo swoops in to give you a bruising kiss, not caring if he crushed your flowers when he brings you into his chest, holding you so tightly that you knew, even without words being spoken, that he would never let you go ever again.

a.n. - i remember reading a ya novel that had this premise of your soulmates / partner being chosen for you via the government, and the main heroine gets a glimpse of someone different that wasn't her expected soulmate (aka her childhood best friend) and ends up falling in love with him lksjdfksf yeah this fic was self indulgent and was completely inspired by that novel. i cannot remember the name of the novel, but if you readers happen to remember it, let me know!

i wrote this in a dreamy haze, because i have fallen so deeply in love with jinwoo sung, so i apologize for any mistakes 🥹

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

---

Hellish friendship ✌🏼❤️

---

contains brat taming and rough sex.

“Aw cmon~ Don’ act like that baby~”

Luffy chuckles before pressing his lips against the shell of your ear, his hands groping and massaging your breasts while you sat there with furrowed brows. You cross your arms and turn away from him, a heavy huff leaving your lips as while he just sits there and laughs.

Luffy wasn’t laughing because he found it funny oh no, Luffy was laughing to hide his anger from you.

As much as this man loved you, he absolutely couldn’t stand it when you got bratty. Telling you to stop acting such a way wasn’t doing anything for him so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Oi! chill out with that! We tryna have a good time and ya ruining it.”

Saying in the most stern voice didn’t even stop you and that’s what told him that he had to straighten you up.

“Ya really gonna act like that? What about all th’other times hm? I thought ya liked me, ya lil’ rubber man right?” Luffy asked, his warm chapped pressing kisses along your neck. You trembled above him as his bare cock grinds against your clothed cunt. He grips the fabric of your panties and tears them off if you, making you gasp out in anger.

“Luffy! Those were my favoriteeee!” You whined out, turning to him. “Ion wanna hear that. A slutty brat like ya don’t deserve to wear em.” He says firmly, his glare turning darker as he stared up at you. You shudder as you hear his words and tone and you purse your lips out of fear of what he might do.

“Ya wanna act like a slutty brat, I’ll treat ya like one.”

“MMGH!~” You moan out loudly as he thrusts hard into your cunt, his tip practice pushing past your cervix. He starts to laugh as he watched you immediately fall apart in his cock. “Aww look at ya~ Already goin’ dumb on m’cock ain’t ya?~” He teases, his hands keeping your thighs spread apart while he rutted into you so aggressively.

“F-Fuck you!” You grit through your teeth, your toes curling as he pulls you far into his cock. You moan out loudly as you curse to him, throwing your head back against his shoulder while you bit into your bottom lip. Luffy’s eyes widens in surprise before his brows furrows, a frown falling onto his face.

“Ooh, mouthy gal ain’t ya? Ya wanna play ‘round with me? Let’s fuckin’ play ‘round then.” Luffy grips your wrists and pulls them behind your back before sitting you up and shoving you into the mattress. Your face was deep in the blankets and your ass was high up in the air.

A sudden slam of Luffy’s hips makes you moan out loudly before his hand clenches tightly around your wrists. His hips went a quick pace and his thrusts were deep and shallow, abusing your cervix in the process. “Ya gonna keep actin’ like this? We can keep this up all night if ya want! I’ll make sure ya won’t fuckin’ walk at all tomorrow.” He says sternly, his hand pulling your hips far against his and making you cry out.

“M-Mhh!~ Mmgh!~ L-Luffy!~” You moan and whine out Luffy’s name, his thrusts only making it harder for you speak when he was churning up your insides. Luffy ignores your and presses his hand against your back, making your tummy lay flat against the mattress below. His hand moves from your hip and up to you hair and he pulls on it making you moan out.

His hips pounds deep into your cunt and the bed rocks with ferocity due to his hard thrusts. “A-Ahh!~ L-Luffy!~ M-M’sorry! M’sorryyyy~” You moan out, your face scrunching up as you feel tears brew at your eyes. Luffy groans deep into your ear as his thrusts grow harder and faster, making your face become a disheveled mess as your tears and drool soaked the quilt below you both.

“Hush! If ya were sorry then ya wouldn’t have done it! Y’ain’t sorry! And if ya were ya would’ve been stopped actin’ like a brat, won’t ya?” He asked sternly, not taking your apology. You cry out and squirm around under, your cunt tightening around him him while you felt yourself ready to cum on his cock.

Hearing your moans grow louder and feeling your cunt squeeze him causes him to go even faster, practically going at godly pace as he tried his hardest to make you feel him deep inside. All you could do was sit there and moan out as he fucks all of his frustration out into you.

“L-Lu! L-Luuuffyyy~” You moan out lengthily, his name rolling off of your tongue as your eyes behind to roll back.

Luffy smirks against your ear his grip on your hair finally loosening up before he whisper into your ear. “Gonna cum? Gonna squirt like th’slutty lil’ brat ya are?” He teases, a heavy huff leaving his lips. He bites the shell of your ear and you whimper out in slight pain and pleasure.

“If ya really sorry, then you’ll take m’dick like the good little gal ya are, ‘kay?”

This would be the last time you’d act like a little brat around Luffy.

---

Congratulations to Lucifer and Lilith for making me doubt my sexuality 👺

---

EX BOYFRIEND LYNEY

— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — ex! boyfriend lyney headcanons

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ex]plicit, fem! reader, a lil possessive lyney, friends with benefits, rough, experienced lyney

ex boyfriend lyney moves in a way that you cannot possibly get an eyeful of, no hint of what he's planning, no inkling of why he did it— his precise yet persistent methods to win you over again aren't for one to notice, in fact, he doesn't lose his frame of mind during the entire process of your break-up, his aura and certain outbursts are ultimately swallowed down by him so you cannot see them.

the man was keeping his emotions in check in an almost frightening fashion that in recollection, it scares you. one might even go as far and assume that it was for the sake of you, or himself, to suppress his negative feelings in order to make the environment easier for the both of you.

ex boyfriend lyney remains silent for a good while after your break-up, he doesn't reach out to you often but it's because he believes you will take time to get used to being without him again. on the contrary, it gave him the perfect gateway of carefully planning each step out— not unexpectedly, of course, it's important to note that he wouldn't force you to stay with him because he deeply cares about your happiness.

you really want to break up? well, if that's what your heart desires, lyney wouldn't want to stand in your way— instead, he'd make it his most important task to remain friends with you, in order to win you over once more. what most people told you is that “once a book is finished, you cannot reread and take parts out of it, just because you didn't like it or want to change the narrative” it's over, ancient history, printed out on paper.

almost comical, ex boyfriend lyney thinks— after all, he was a magician and utterly skilled in his craft. he could pull it off, right?

before you know it, he will demonstrate the love he harbors for you in a blink of an eye, that passion that was too dark for dim eyes to discover currently— yet one day, he promises you, that he'll draw a veil over all deeds passed and walk you through a new beginning.

ex boyfriend lyney cannot imagine a life without you, it is out of the question because he sees you as family, a part of him, he wants and needs to protect you even after your break up. such strong amibition of shielding his significant other (or now ex), specifically wanting to protect them might stem from him being a big brother and always looking after his siblings.

in the act of love, no other individual could make him feel like you did— it's as if magic pulled at his heartstrings when he sees you, or when you smile at you.

his chest pumps with affection when you're here. he's so eager to show you again, wanting to reproduce memories of the past, back when love was him and you.

ex boyfriend lyney supports you, always, and he does it flawlessly when he fuels your needs, his smoldering gaze always here to help and burning into your body, sending shivers down your spine. there was a problem you faced? do not be scared, because ironically enough, lyney always seems to be there for you, at the right time, the right place and with the right words hand in hand to say.

ex boyfriend lyney will always be there when you need him, and in conjuction, he'll be the answer to all of your hardships, as if he somehow knew why they were happening in the first place. you can count on him always, no? with one voice and the beat of his heart, he's there to look after you while inching closer, giving your cheek a good squeeze before calling your stressed-out expression cute.

ex boyfriend lyney can immediately notice how different you were a couple weeks well into the break-up, but he also likes how you're still getting shy when his attention is solely fixated on you again, like your previous defenses have never drawn life in the first place— it's a pain, a taxing one at that when you realize that you still like him, despite the fact that you promised yourself to detach from any further interactions you and lyney could have in the future, yet proceeding to go against your better judgement.

but after a while, ex boyfriend lyney and you couldn't resist the temptations anymore as you're first agreeing to be friends with benefits for a while— only until one of you finds a serious match again, or another person that was able to outshine any of you, when in reality none of you had even considered dating again.

needless to say, it felt good, like every small movement of him was ten times stronger when he presses himself into you, when he rubs warmly over the throbbing spots only he knew were to find, "you're always so pretty.." he drawls out as your stomach flips at his drunken thoughts becoming real words, angelic tones you could hear.

ex boyfriend lyney makes you take every long breath a lot more meaningful, you felt as if you were breathing in the fumes of a volcano as it captured you in a smoldering haze— taking into account how the bedroom was slowly developing into something humid, heavy, and hot.

ex boyfriend lyney lets you succumb to it fully, and there was so much pressure on your cunt that your back was arching up into his body, your figure held by two hands slipped underneath, the almost agony-like sensation of fullness bristling on your sex as lyney moves and explores further into the realm of your beautiful body.

ex boyfriend lyney knows all of your kinks, or the certain spots you liked being stimulated, the very places you only hoped he'd do whenever he's got you split in half. you definitely notice his self assurance too, it's a bit stronger than last time— how he cannot possibly hold back a ravishing smirk when you're this easy to please.

there's no confusion in his face either, nor was he unfocused, only a dark lust was painted behind his eyes.

ex boyfriend lyney pulls one hand from your hip to your cheek before slanting your head down in order for you to witness the mess he's made in between your thighs.

your hips were pressing up off of the mattress in order to taste more of him, the lustful hankering mounting in your veins as your mouth turns dry as desert bones when your moans increase in length. a just released greed develops from your desperate yearning, it expands in your stomach and multiplies the more lyney pleasured you, the faster he flicks his length over your walls and smears his pre in waves on your wet sex.

"lyney..." you drawl out in an angelic tone that immediately made his heart flutter, "I n-need more," you say, smirking, your hand slowly wafting to your breasts before you're squeezing one of them, twinging at your nipple next. this was on purpose— because you knew how much he liked it whenever you put on a show for him.

so you continue, without a hurry, going with the flow and moving gently between the valley of your breasts until sliding past your lower stomach that was currently feeling full to the brim. yet your hand doesn't stop yet, only halting right above your clit when decent on it.

"I can't... you're so, fuck," his voice cracks, a moan sliding up through his throat. he's done for, you got him now.

ex boyfriend lyney shakes from the warm greeting of your walls sucking him tight, salivating at the sight of your poor pussy squelching clamorously. the magician missed you so much that he didn't want to conceal the burly emotions of his mind from you anymore— in truth, lyney was pathetic, truly without shame.

he shamelessly whimpers into your mouth before lapping at your bottom lip, biting it, sucking and toying with your tongue. he's whining, on the verge of crying due to pleasure, his eyes closed and hips rutting into your heat as the tips of his ears slowly turn pink.

ex boyfriend lyney moans out your name when you lock your legs around his hips, the rough squeezes of your pussy tightening as your body began to ready itself, the pleasure of your climax coming through you in a formidable wave of bliss as the both of you came at the same time, feeling like all the relief in the world settled in your stomach as your arousal glazes all over his shaft.

ex boyfriend lyney lets out a deep, muffled groan as you shake underneath his body. he collapses shortly after on top of you— yet it's all too much for you to keep up with. possible regrets? well, probably, but you're way too dizzy and fucked out of your mind to even force yourself to think about it.

what's there to know for you was that ex boyfriend lyney still loves you more than anything— and if being in this kind of "special relationship" was the best possible outcome for now, so be it.

on the grounds that sooner or later, he will get you back again.

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own

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