Js A Small Little Sketch

js a small little sketch

i mean i tried guys hehehehe---happy birthday little crow :] 🎂

not me struggling with the eyessshshshshhshshsrjjshahhshs

exactly this 😭

i see so many chuuya fics where he’s a player/a womanizer. and while those are all fun and beautifully written, i just have this gut feeling that chuuya is loyal as hell.

this is the guy that jumped off a helicopter and fought a literal dragon for a man he claims he doesn’t even like. imagine what he’d do for someone he loves, someone he has yet to lose and is terrified of losing.

all he wants to do is love you. he’s protective, but not possessive by any means. his time in the mafia has made him so aware of everything that could possibly harm you. even if its a 5 minute walk back to your place, he’ll drive you. if you’re out at a bar, he’ll hold your drink and/or keep an eye on all the other guys around you. he’s always practicing the sidewalk rule, always giving you his coat, and always reminding you that he would do anything and everything for you.

he knows that you’re a point of interest for enemy organizations. that because your his s/o, you’re a target for ransom or worse as a means to get back at him. and because of that, he’s constantly worrying. if even something feels off, he’ll call you, if not rushing to be by your side. you have to remind him that you aren’t made of glass.

oh, and god forbid you are actually taken captive. the world will see a side of him that he luckily keeps hidden.

So I came across a fanfic that had them listed as a background couple. And let me tell you, my third eye was opened and I saw the vision, and I need everyone else to see it too.

Shout out to the one English fic that has them as the focus, you’ve fed me.

Something interesting that I found out while reading the first light Novel is Bachira calls his mother by her first name, and not ‘Mom’ , it could be a translation thing but I like the idea that she prefers it that way.

Sae: I want to kiss you.

Y/N, not paying attention: What?

Sae: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

♤ unKing | Barou Shouei x gn!Reader

▽ featuring: barou shouei x gn reader … no repost on any platforms © laterosal 2024 … sooo bachira and his clown antics resulting in barou and you casually kissing—and hinted in a no-blue-lock!au where barou, bachira, nagi, and reader are in the same youth team (requested!) … word count: 969

… A/N: hii mike!! i hope you’re having a good day as well, i’m just surviving school as i gotta wake up early now. (very unfortunate) but i tried your first request—something did not click because it took me a week to get down a few hundred words… so i tried with the second request and maybe it did work? hope you enjoy this one :)

📌 AO3 | requested one-shot

Shoei Barou often thought his teammates in his youth team were chaotic, but not to the point where you would even have the thought of Barou, the “king” of the field, having chased down a small bee. A small bee, taunting Barou’s every move, realizing he was backed into a corner and had to feel the wrath of Barou.

You could practically feel that fury booming from a few meters away, as you leaned against the goal post, staring amusingly at these soccer players’ shenanigans. Surely it started with Seishiro Nagi, a somewhat unmotivated yet genius soccer player who decided to join a youth team out of boredom. His famed skill was trapping: hence, the Trap-Whatever-You-Can-Championship (Part 2) commenced amongst the highly skilled soccer players of their youth team. Held in the penalty box in the soccer field, Nagi started off with balancing his cellphone on his leg, moving on with a black-inked pen on his foot. Other soccer players attempted to do the same, though only a select few were even able to find the key concepts of trapping an item. One would include Shoei Barou—his effort of perseverance unwavering as some of his fellow teammates taunted him.

Bachira Meguru, who early on into soccer figured out their skill in dribbling, decided to take up a challenge and participate in Seishiro Nagi’s challenge of trapping items. You decided to try out this skill of trapping, although you long gave up and decided to hang around the goal post.

…

It did not go as well as planned.

Bachira, his bright highlights that flowed to the rhythm of his dribbling, seemed to not take trapping a skill so seriously. Rather, he attempted to balance a soccer ball on his ankle, then kicked it into the sky and chased after it. Only without noticing Barou behind him—the king of the field wiping the sweat dripping down his face as he squeezed some water out of his water bottle, who was conveniently hanging around you.

“Oops! I guess I should have known that trapping would kill me~” Bachira’s smile widened as Barou gave the former a death glare. Bachira looked up and attempted to follow the soccer ball, knocking Barou down. Like a pair of dominos, Bachira stumbled to the nearest patches of the grass near the goal post, and Barou tumbled into you, where his lips were pressed against yours.

Silence.

The soccer ball thumped against the grass, slowly rolling towards Bachira.

Bachira raised his eyebrows and scratched his head sheepishly, already scrambling away from Barou. They all did not want to mess with Barou himself—especially when his temper would blow away the feeble from the soccer field. You stared surprisingly at Barou as he slowly stood up, a pointed glare at all his teammates watching.

“S… orry?” You murmur as Barou narrowed his eyes at his teammates.

“Stop watching and get back to doing your—” Barou cracked his neck and knuckles, his voice a low and threatening one. Bachira whistled from across the world, teasing Barou to chase him. And like a small animal chase, the king of the field scrambled onto his feet and tailed the bee, easily dodging and swerving across the field. You grinned at the sight, touching your lips gingerly as you remembered the small kiss planted on your lips, leading to the king of the field with a murderous intent chasing…

“GET THE PHONE!”

“NO, HE’S GOING TO KILL US—”

“YOU DRIBBLING BEE, DON’T DIE TO HIM—”

The teammates were howling and screeching (in case Bachira gets jumped by Barou), while Seishiro Nagi stood on the sidelines, pulling out his phone to hop onto some video games.

“Oi, Y/N, want to help me out here?” Bachira yelled out as he ran towards you.

“Don’t. You. Dare. Y/N!” Barou screeched as he went for some other teammates who began to taunt him. You decided that if you wanted to see the golden light tomorrow, perhaps it was best to sit out today.

You didn’t want to get on Barou Shouei’s bad side, did you?

“I-hm, I won’t.” You promised Barou. “Bachira, how’s it going with Barou chasing you..?”

You didn’t even get a chance to hear Bachira’s response as he tumbled onto the field, as Barou violently shook his shoulders. He later stood up, clasped his hands together and brushed off some grass on his uniform, stalking towards you.

“You don’t need to be sorry, Y/N.” Barou lowered his voice as he put his hand on your shoulder, flinging off the towel slinging from his shoulders onto his head. You frowned as you wondered why he started off the sentence with those words. “That little busy bee… I swear… Next time he pulls any of those antics again…” Sorry..? Did you ever apologize to him—

“I’ll… help you.” You gave Barou an assuring smile. “Yeah?” Barou blew a heavy sigh out and hopped out of the field.

You soon realized that you had mumbled an apology after the kiss—

Oh.

“I’m surprised that the king even acts so uh, un-kingly in front of you.” Nagi shuffled over to you, leaning against the metal poles of the goal post. “Y’know, Y/N.”

“Uh-huh? I don’t really… understand.”

“Mm, sure. He doesn’t act so strict with you, unlike me.” Nagi groaned as Barou tugged on the back of his shirt, signaling to get up for practice. If Barou had heard Nagi’s words, the king brushed it off like they did not bother him at all. Nagi snorted, before a swift click on his cellphone screen—a VICTORY screen flashing on.

Maybe he was right.

Maybe Barou did act a little… less strict in front of you.

He seemed so much of an un-kingly soccer player in front of you who seemed to listen to you.