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masochism tango

Monster Falls,,, save me Monster Falls

Thought id post this here too--

My Bill design haha, not crazy or anything, but i liked the idea that he looks like alex hirsch

I'm not like you. You feel comforted and safe whenever we hug and I start feeling disconnected. I get aware of my arms, and legs. My bones, and the blood running through my veins. My body lays there and my mind reminds me that I don't belong.

My heart rate is slow, almost non existent, yet yours gets quicker whenever we're close. Your breathing also changes, I notice, and mine is still quiet, immaculate.

We separate and you turn around and finally sleep. I lay there, looking at the ceiling, feeling like a living dead. And in the back of my mind I have the reminder that it's impossible to relate or connect with others and it'll always be.

I wish I could feel sad, but there's nothing here. Hollow and empty. Having consciousness and a living body is a curse and I can't get out of it without hurting others. Doll, vessel, body... Whatever it is I'm sick of it. Even if I ignore it, crushing moments like these are what makes me different from other fellow humans.

I don't know what being comforted is. I can't explain why others seek love, compassion or warmth, because I never will.

Sometimes it's impossible for me to feel like I'm just like the others when I'm constantly performing and forcing myself to do things.

I like people the same way I like art pieces, without touching, and without contact. I like thinking about them and the way they behave, but not enough to get close. Having a relationship sorely based on respect and interactions is enough for me to consider someone a friend. I like my friends, the people I get along with are just fine since they don't expect anything from me.

I love seeing your shiny life through pictures, but I don't want to be part of it. I love you in my own way, but please don't perceive me or worry about me. I'm just an observer.

Me trying to explain my interests to my friends be like:

Do you guys think he'd teach him to bully kids online

Is it really possible for a triangle and an autistic man to be in a relationship?

may god bless the sinners

yeah

Interesting lineup we’ve got here

Had a day back in Wisconsin, went to abandoned house

:)

no bc ford and bill's falling out is so silly to me because its like. ford's obsession with bill was the closest to "religious" that he's ever tread, and that kind of betrayal was earth shattering and hurt ford in a way he had NEVER been hurt before, causing him to completely mentally and emotionally unravel. meanwhile bill is like "can we talk 🥺" as if he hasn't been using ford for years, and when it became clear ford hated his ass bill got so drunk he forgot his mom was dead. what an INSANE dynamic to establish 8 years after the show ended.

I think my psychiatrist is evil, Snoopy...

In light of recent events 😭😭

Crying laughing because of this:

one sixer please⚠️‼️

So I decided to read Book of Bill and managed to finish right before the countdown ended