Arthur Lester's Best Tips To Survive The Horrors:

Arthur Lester's best tips to survive the horrors:

Arson

Rock. Just really go to town on a monster with a rock

Make a fragment of an elder god love you so much he won't let you die

Remember that to be human is to make mistakes. Sometimes that mistake is murder

Randomly but earnestly call people "good boy." Especially effective against those who want to kill you

MAG160 and MAG161 SPOILERS

a flashback to the og crew celebrating jon’s birthday after… that… was FOUL.

read rote they said. it’ll be fun they said.

One of my favorite things about Arthur and John’s weird relationship is their refusal to properly delegate.

In quite literally every other shared-body story in the history of mankind, working together in tandem with each other would be one of the very first things attempted.

Sure we have “ORTHUR, Jesus Christ orthur they’re dead. They’re all dead. FUCK orthur, it’s Thomas the Tank Engine. He’s staring at you orthur. There’s blood everywhere- WE NEED TO GO-“ etc etc, but that doesn’t count. They fail every single Quick Time event that crosses their path because sometimes John will deliver information, sometimes Arthur will make an action, and neither will happen at the same time.

They both act like they’re just standing very close to one another. They have the problem solving capabilities of two people losing a three legged race.

They are tasked with minding a lighthouse flame upon pain of mysterious and creepy monster-death and god forbid BOTH of them pitch in at the same time. Could you imagine either of them being that reasonable? Their hearts would give out under the strain.

Instead tweedlestupid with one hand and zero eyes minds the light while tweedlestupider with one hand and two eyes dedicates every sense available to the crusade of maintaining their back and forth pre/post/current divorce level bitching.

But even before that, the way they chose to tackle the feat of driving was as insane as it was hilarious. That’s when I knew they were incurable morons and deserved to be stitched together on the celestial plane for the rest of their arcane lives.

Tldr: You could merge the consciousness of any other two souls on this planet together and get a more immediately capable pair. That’s how you know they’re soulmates.

Arthur Lester when I get you.

making a collection