I Wish That Photographs Were Physical Spaces, Like Tunnels; That You Could Crawl Inside Them And Go Back.

I wish that photographs were physical spaces, like tunnels; that you could crawl inside them and go back.

Lauren Oliver, Vanishing Girls (via wordsnquotes)

this is the arrow of destiny. reblog this and see what comes up next. this person/saying/thing will have something to do with your future

dire-sloth

you should have offered them four 12x12 squares and a bottle of glue

As hilarious as that is…

… we’re out of glue. 

Completely out of glue. The glue slime trend that has swept the middle schools in our area has maxed out all outlets of glue from December 18th to today’s date- February 6th. We keep getting shipments of glue, but they only come in 20-bottle boxes and they are completely gone by the time the weekend is out. Children are buying them by the armful. 

And I would find this cute and honestly amazing that these kiddos are getting their first taste of entrepreneurship (mine was in high school, where I made novelty school ID’s) if it weren’t for the involvement of the parents. 

Because the kids are like ‘aw, you don’t have any? Ok. We’ll try somewhere else- thank you! Where’s your glitter?’

The parents… oh gods the parents. 

Calling us up at 9am- “What do you MEAN you don’t have any glue!? ITS A BASIC CRAFT ITEM! YOU HAVE TO HAVE GLUE!”

“You’re telling me that you DON’T CARRY GLUE?”

“I’m calling your corporate office to tell them just how wholly unprepared you all are because this is the fourth store I’ve called and NONE of you have any glue.”

“Can I pre-order? What do you MEAN I have to order from the website?”

“When will you be getting more? You don’t KNOW! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW!? Two weeks at the EARLIEST!?”

“Can you call me when you get some? YOU CAN’T EVEN CALL ME WHEN YOU GET IT IN?”

I once caught one of our framers taking a call like these and I saw her re-inact Winona Ryder’s entire range of facial expressions a la SAG awards, eventually ending in her left eye going slightly wall when the angry parent finally hung up. 

And there are some that call every single day, asking the same questions and hoping that they’ll get a different answer. But no. I’m sorry. The Glue Fairy didn’t make a surprise visit last night. We did not plant the glue seeds in time for the harvest and now there is a glue famine. The small child that we sent to fetch more glue has been captured by witches- who are now intent on raising her as their own and we wish them luck. 

One day, my brother will have children and they will ask me about the Glue Famine of 2017 and I will recall a very specific instance wherein I could feel flecks of spittle coming through the end of the phone. 

One day I shall die and a team of necromancers will raise me from my crumbling sarcophagus and the very first words from my revived, husk of a maw will be ‘WE ARE STILL OUT OF GLUE, CRETINOUS FILTH!’

And this is how I knew that 2017 was going to be a bad year. Retail-mancy: I divine the fall of our nation by the fact that we are perpetually out of basic adhesives. And its not the children that buy them that make it a problem, but the parents who imagine that we somehow have control over the entire damn glue industry. 

Here. Buy that shit online and teach your children the benefits of buying bulk, because apparently it’s too late for the fucking adults, if my previous encounters with adult entrepreneurs is any indication. 

Why you want to yell at me for telling you the truth is beyond me when you could be putting all that energy towards not sucking. GIT GUD. 

This Blog is Pro Good Sportsmanship

Passions run high around playoffs, and I’m sure all of us are at times going to angrily liveblog a “SO-AND-SO DESERVED A MAJOR PENALTY FOR THAT!!!” or two, but personally I am into good sportsmanship for myself and the other fans I hang out with and follow across a variety of teams. So I want my followers to know I will not be:

Saying nasty things about teams or their fans just because I don’t like the outcome of a game.

Making posts that include personal attacks about players and staff. I will only briefly criticize or react to specific actions.

No slurs of any kind, or extreme like… sexual harassment style talk around players I like.

Catastrophizing issues like turning one bad slash into “so-and-so is a DIRTY PLAYER” or a strange reffing call into “LOOK AT HOW BIASED THE WHOLE LEAGUE IS OVER THIS TEAM!” or a commentator saying one mild critical or awkward thing into “THESE ANNOUNCERS ARE TRASH I HATE THEM”

Being condescending or tearing down or talking baseless shit about other teams or make sweeping biased comparisons around “who’s the best” instead of just being excited whenever anyone good does something cool. 

Wishing harm on opposing players or celebrating injuries or big mistakes or things like coaches or teammates yelling at their players or throwing them under the bus to the media.

Gatekeeping who gets to be a “real fan”. Because if you enjoy the trash-talking side of the hockey fandom, hey, you do you… that’s just not for me, so I’ll probably be unfollowing some people that get too heated, but i won’t be trying to tell them how to be a fan just because it’s not for me.

But if you are like me and want to hang out in good sportsmanship land during playoffs, reblog and I’ll probably follow you :D

Either way, I hope you have lots of fun - should be an exciting run!

*at the store*

Me: *sees notebooks*

Me: *is fully aware that i have more unused notebooks than this store*

Me: *buys 3 more*

I gotta say, this also applies to RPF fic. Your fave got married (to not the other half of your OTP)? Who cares, write your OTP anyway. It’s ALL not canon, so why do real-life significant others need to be a factor at all. Don’t stop writing your RPF OTP just because something changed in their real life. 

Advice to young fans and young fandoms: You don’t have to let creator Q&A reveals of “canon” spoil your fun with fanfic and fan art. You’ll be a lot happier in the long run if you don’t give in to the idea that you have to retcon all your fan works and tear down blog posts about your headcanons every time a creator lets slip some “fact” online or at a convention.