Derrick: The D In Dirt Stands For Dont Eat This Please.

Derrick: The D in dirt stands for “don’t eat this please.”

Reynold: But the I-R-T stands for “it’s really tasty.”

Have a fluffy headcanon because we all need it

Judith, like her father, has gift giving as her love language. So one day, she makes some matching bracelets for her and her parents. Each necklace has two red beads to represent Callisto and Judy’s eyes, and a turquoise bead for Penelope. They also have little charms on them: a golden dragon, a rose, the sun, moon, and a little star.

Callisto is overjoyed at the gift, immediately having preservation spells put on the bracelets. Everyone he meets later that day has to deal with Callisto showing off the bracelet and gushing about Judith more than usual:

“But just look at what Judith made for me and Penelope, isn’t it beautiful?“

“Yes, Your Majesty. You’ve shown us three times already today.”

“Well, now you get to see it again, my daughter’s creativity deserves to be shown off—“

Penelope is also very happy for the gift, all the servants noting how often she’ll get distracted from paperwork or a book just to look at the bracelet. A soft smile lighting up her face as she gently rubs at a charm between her fingers. (She also finds Callisto’s enthusiasm hilarious, but does have to reign him in at times. Even though when she sees her husband smiling so genuinely, she can’t help but give him a quick kiss that quickly gets out of hand because Callisto can’t help himself.)

Every time Judith gets another sibling, she adds a bead to match their eye color and another star charm. She makes them bracelets as well when they get a bit older.

ao3 wrapped

-> you read 2,690,420 words, none of which are in the bible

-> your preferred genre is an abomination

-> you found one writer and read everything they've ever written...

-> ...only to find out they're into some weird shit.

-> and now you are too. congratulations!

-> the data we've collected has shocked us to our very core and we wish we hadn't done it. we won't see you next year. please seek professional mental support

I am NOT trying to trick you into putting a leash on, and if you would just come here, within leashing-range, you would see that.

Eckles to Penelope in every interaction

I got so sick of the cheesy Christmas playlist at work so I snuck in a version of All I Want For Christmas Is You where half way through the vocals change to Welcome To The Black Parade

Watching the customers slow down and squint in confusion is giving me life.