How Can Someone Wrote Something This Good!!???

How can someone wrote something this good!!???

I Was Worried

This is my first time writing Evan Buckley from 911 but I am in love with that show and re-watching made me want to write. I'm open to take any requests for Buck or Eddie from the show. I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) tries to convince everyone at the station that she is fine, especially her boyfriend Buck. But when she takes a bad turn out on a call, he gets panicked.

Enjoy.

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"Whatever you're cooking smells good," Buck folded his arms and leaned forward onto the counter, pushing his hips out and arching his back a little to stretch out.

It didn't really matter to Buck what Bobby was cooking, it could have been anything from cats to crocodiles and he would eat it. Half a bowl of cereal wasn't enough to keep Buck going through a hectic morning shift and it was almost two o'clock now, way past dinner. He was starving and he was desperate to eat anything Bobby cooked.

"Pasta bolognaise," Bobby looked up from the large serving bowl he was pouring the pasta into, smiling when he could see Buck's eyes widening happily.

"And garlic bread." A smile worked its way onto (Y/n)'s lips when she walked past Buck and patted his shoulder as she went. She knew her boyfriend like the back of his hand and he was very food orientated.

She felt his hand graze her lower back as she passed him and grabbed the plates from the side to set the table. They didn't know how long they would all get to eat so dinner was usually fast. Set the table within a minute, everybody down and chug the food and drink to get as much as possible before a call sounded. Half the time they gobbled food and ended up with twenty minutes left to spare and they actually got to sit and digest their food and talk. But more often than not, food was partially eaten and left to go cold while they hurried out on a call.

(Y/n) could feel a headache burning behind her eyes and igniting through to the back of her head.

For over a week now (Y/n) had been feeling off, her headaches were becoming more common and persistent and she was feeling sluggish no matter how much sleep she managed to get or how she tried to eat enough and regular to keep her energy up.

Buck had said she was starting to come down with something and now (Y/n) was slowly beginning to believe him.

When the plates were all in place and utensils were laid out in the middle of the table, (Y/n) curled her hands around the back of one of the chairs and took a second to clear her foggy head. It felt like someone was slowly pumping her head full of air and any moment it was going to burst.

"Alright, are we ready?" Chimney clapped his hands and approached the table with a grin as Hen and Eddie followed behind.

(Y/n) tried to keep smiling and slowly shuffled away from the table and towards the cupboard near the sink where they kept the glasses. She couldn't stop her breaths from becoming shaky when her fingers curled around a glass and started to tremble.

"(Y/n), you coming?" Bobby glanced back over his shoulder when he approached the table with the food. She was awfully quiet all of a sudden when normally she would be first at the table to dish out the food and pour out the drinks.

When he didn't receive an answer, he glanced over at Buck who was halfway between the kitchen and the table before he stopped in his tracks and looked across at his girl. He looked back at Bobby with furrowed brows but waved his hand out at them to signal that they could go ahead and get sat down. He turned on his heels and headed over to where (Y/n) was stood in front of the kitchen counter with her back to him.

"Babe… you okay?" His voice was quiet but when he reached out to rest a hand on (Y/n)'s arm, he could feel her subtly shaking. "What's wrong?"

"Buck…" Her head was splitting like someone was banging a drum so harshly that her head was ripping open at the seams. The thudding of her heartbeat pulsed beneath her skin and pounded through her head so badly that she couldn't even see anymore. All she could make out were the black and white sparkles blinking in front of her eyes.

She could feel Buck's hands both coming up to rest on her shoulders and his lips merged against the back of her head but she couldn't hear what he was trying to whisper to her. Everything was turning to static in her ears.

Both Buck's arms moved to bind around (Y/n)'s waist when her knees gave out and she buckled. Her fingers slipped off the edge of the counter and her arms fell limp at her sides.

"Oh shit!" Stooping over, Buck braced himself a little better and slowly moved down until he was kneeling on the floor with (Y/n) hoisted up against his chest. Her head fell forward onto her chest as her legs curled up beneath her but she was still shaking. Buck kept one arm secured around her lower waist and moved his other arm round so he could carefully rest his palm against her temple and tilt her head up so she could lean her head back on his shoulder.

With a mouthful of garlic bread, Eddie pushed his chair back and jogged over to the pair while Hen busied herself grabbing a medical bag from near the stairs.

"Alright, here we go." Eddie knelt down in front of Buck and reached out for (Y/n)'s crumpled legs, carefully pulling them so they were straightened out and she was laid a bit more comfortable up against Buck. He pressed his fingers against (Y/n)'s wrist as Hen came over to them. "Pulse is a bit fast, not too bad. (Y/n), you with us?"

A muffled groan escaped (Y/n)'s lips as she tried hard to open her eyes but the lights suddenly felt like spotlights shining down on her and they were burning her eyes. She could feel Hen carefully taking her arm and sliding a blood pressure cuff up over her elbow and the tightening sensation sent a shiver down her spine and cleared her mind just a little.

"Open your eyes, babe," Buck coaxed while he smoothed his hand up and down (Y/n)'s arm. And something tingled to life in his chest and bubbled through his blood when he felt her hand shakily reach back and squeeze his thigh.

"Do you feel dizzy or sick?" Hen shone a light across (Y/n)'s pupils when she finally managed to open her eyes and something flickered on her face like a brief smile when she managed to follow Hen's finger from left to right.

"Dizzy… I- I'm good, probably just hungry." (Y/n) shuffled herself a little higher against Buck's chest so she was sitting up properly and she could feel the blood rushing back down to her feet and the storm in her head was starting to calm down, finally.

"You blacked out and you think you're good?" Buck rolled his lips together when Eddie gave him a look. He wasn't being rude but he knew (Y/n) better than any of them, he knew she was more likely to brush this under the rug than consider there might be something more serious than just a little dizzy spell. He for one didn't want to act like this was something small when he had said for the last week that she was coming down with a bug from how uneasy she felt and the constant headaches.

"Alright, if she thinks she's gonna be okay then let's all try and eat lunch, but you're benched today (Y/n). Any callouts, you hang back here to be safe I'm not taking any risks."

(Y/n) pressed her lips into a thin line to supress the groan burning at the back of her throat. She didn't want to hang back and wait around for them to come back off a call when she could be needed, she was here to do her job not sit back and worry. But she could see Bobby's reasoning, she would be a liability today if she went on a call and felt rough or this happened again. It was a safety measure.

She let Eddie take her hands and Buck loop his arms beneath hers so they could hoist her up between them. Her legs felt wobbly like setting jelly but she could shuffle them towards the table without worrying that she was about to collapse again.

It was just a blackout, she probably needed something to eat.

Loosening the suspenders on his shoulders, Eddie pulled them off his arms and shimmied out of his overalls and boots. He picked them up and shuffled tiredly through into the locker room, smiling softly when he glanced over and saw (Y/n) sat on a far bench near the glass wall.

"How you feeling?" He dumped his things into his locker but when he didn't hear a response, the smile slowly slipped from his face and he glanced back over at her.

He knew Buck had been worried for the rest of the shift when they went out and left (Y/n) behind at the station. She had kept herself busy, they all saw the tidy kitchen and the mopped floors implying she had been desperate to occupy herself when she got left behind for the afternoon. Buck had been the first one to run up to her when they got back and make sure she had been fine while they had been out. He worried; a lot.

"(Y/n)?"

Eddie walked over and gently perched himself beside her on the bench before he clasped his hands together in front of him and stooped over a little. His head tilted to the left to try and see her since she was sat at an angle but he sucked in a sharp breath when she turned to face him.

Her hands were full of used, bloodied tissues and there were streaks of blood smeared all across her mouth and chin and a lot of dried blood caked around her nose.

"What happened?" He was careful when he gingerly reached his hands out to tilt her head back. It looked like the blood had mostly stopped now but there was a hell of a lot on her face and the pile of tissues she had crumpled up in her fists.

"I had a headache, then the heavens poured out my nose for over five minutes. Has it stopped?" (Y/n) tightened the tissues in her hands until she could feel them starting to shred and pull apart between her fingers.

She had barely walked away from Bobby after reassuring him she felt much better, and her nose started to pour like a tap. Her head started to go fuzzy and heavy like it did earlier and no amount of tissue or pinching the bridge of her nose seemed to stop it. And Buck had gone for a shower so he didn't have to bother when they got home, the last thing (Y/n) wanted to do was run to him and ask for help. She would only panic him more than he had been earlier and she didn't want that.

"Yeah, I think it's stopped, are you sure you feel alright? You know this doesn't look so good." Eddie couldn't help but feel nervous, constant headaches, blacking out and a nosebleed on a large scale weren't signs of something minor.

"I feel better than this morning… Eddie, please don't tell Buck. You know he worries."

(Y/n) swiped the last crumpled tissue against her face before throwing them all in the bin. She would have to dart into the bathroom and wash her face clean of the blood if she didn't want Buck or any of the others realising what had happened or getting the wrong impression.

"I won't." A nosebleed could just be that and not mean anything else, it could be a one off and Eddie certainly wouldn't want to worry Buck unnecessarily.

He wouldn't say anything; yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A soft smile flooded (Y/n)'s face when the man whose name was John, grabbed her hand and held it tightly to her heart. He needed reassurance and (Y/n) would help him as much as she could and calm him down, it was all part of the job.

"Am I dying?"

"Of course you're not, we won't let that happen. We're going to free your leg and get you to the hospital, you'll be right as rain soon." It always felt easier to reassure someone with minor wounds like this.

It was when the victim had organs spilling out or a crushed chest or third degree burns that wouldn't heal that made (Y/n) panic about giving reassurance to them. When she knew there was no way she could guarantee they would survive, telling them everything would be okay felt like a lie and that wasn't always the best course.

But this man only had a leg crushed by some rubble and a few broken bones, nothing fatal that they needed to worry about. He was going to be fine and (Y/n) knew it.

"Alright, I'm going to let go of your hand so we can get ready to move you, okay?" (Y/n) gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she let go and moved so she was crouching behind him with her hands hooked under his armpits.

Eddie was going to lift the metal beam from the man's leg and Buck was in position to free his legs and help slide him onto the board so they could carry him out. He was the last person trapped in here, everyone else was out and taken care of and after this, the team could head back to the station and wait for the next call of the day.

(Y/n) wasn't sure if it was the dust and smoke filtering through the air that was making her head spin or if it was the headache she'd had since this morning but whatever it was made her feel off. Every part of her felt sluggish and slow and her head felt like it had cotton wool stuffed in it.

"Go!"

On command, (Y/n) pulled him back and lifted him up and she and Buck quickly laid him down on the read board and shuffled him up until his head was safely in the foam brace to keep his neck still and straight.

"Alright let's get out of here."

(Y/n)'s arms had never felt so limp and heavy than they did when she lifted her end of the board and followed Buck back through the small break in the wall they had created to get in. Her hands were tensing and twitching in the grooves of the board and it felt like her centre of gravity was shifting more to the left like the world was tilting at an angle. It made (Y/n) want to lean to the left to balance herself back out but when she tilted her head, she felt like she was about to topple over.

She had carried people out like this thousands of times, she'd hooked people over her shoulders and ran from burning cars before and gone quicker than this but today she couldn't seem to catch up. Buck was going too fast and her feet were heavy and weighted in her boots but she did her best to kick the rubble out the way and keep up. She could feel Eddie close behind and her eyes focused on looking up at Buck.

He was wearing his overalls and his coat and helmet so she couldn't see the way his biceps would twitch and strain or the way he would hunch up his shoulders to tense his muscles and go faster, but she could imagine the way his body would move beneath the jacket.

As soon as they were outside, all of them were coughing from the wave of fresh air that hut them like a truck.

Something burned in the back of (Y/n)'s head like she'd been struck with a knife and as soon as they were clear, they set the board down as close to the ambulance as they could manage. Two paramedics filed over and Buck busied himself reeling off the injuries John had sustained.

Forcing herself to smile, (Y/n) leaned down and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"T-they'll fix your leg and have you up and walking in no time, you will be okay." She couldn't wait to hear his response or wait for a thank you or even a smile, she had to move.

Her feet stumbled beneath her and she could feel herself beginning to shake down to her boots. She didn't feel good. She wasn't sure where she was heading, she just had to get away from the victim so she didn't worry him and be away from prying eyes.

When she couldn't walk any further, (Y/n) threw off her helmet and unzipped her jacket and launched it down on the floor. She was sweating, she was cold, she was burning up and shaking and feeling sick all at once.

"(Y/n), hey, what's up what's going on?"

Running her fingers over her face, (Y/n) turned her back to Eddie and shook her head. She didn't know what was going on or what the problem was but there was just something that didn't feel right. Her head was pounding like it was going to explode and since she'd blacked out, it had been progressively getting worse. All of her symptoms had been getting worse whether she wanted to admit it or not.

There was caution in Eddie's movements when he gingerly placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her round to face him but when he did, he could see that her eyes weren't able to focus on him.

"I think you should sit down,"

"I… wh- I want-"

Eddie couldn't fathom what she was trying to say or what words were passing through her lips, none of it made a sentence or any sort of sense but it didn't matter.

(Y/n)'s eyes rolled to the back of her head and she tumbled down like the collapsed building behind them and Eddie couldn't catch her in time to break her fall, but that didn't matter either. He barely managed to go down on his knees when (Y/n)'s limbs tensed and tightened up like she was a puppet whose strings were being pulled.

Both her hands bent at odd angles and her arms pinned against her chest that pushed off the floor while her head started to tremble and jerk back and forth.

She was having a seizure.

"Cap! Captain, go get Buck! Now." Eddie threw his helmet to the floor and leaned over (Y/n) whose body was taut and tense and looked like she was shivering all over. He was the least bit relieved to see that she wasn't fully thrashing around on the floor and her arms and legs weren't being thrown about at all angles, it was more her head that was jerking than the rest of her body.

He carefully turned (Y/n) over so she was laid on her left side and tried to keep his hand pressed against the back of her neck to keep her head forward. He had no way of knowing if she was going to be sick or if she might bite down on her tongue and make it bleed. Either way, he couldn't risk her choking.

"Hey, what-" Whatever Buck was about to say fizzled into the air when he looked over at his girlfriend, laid on the floor spasming and shaking.

He'd never seen her have a seizure before.

"What happened?!" Fury boiled over in Buck's voice as he roughly grappled with his helmet and chucked it down to the floor before he went down on his knees in front of (Y/n). "Babe? (Y/n), baby it's me, you're okay, it's alright." He tried to keep one hand on her arm to let her know he was there while he pushed his other hand beneath her neck and the floor to feel her pulse and check her airways were still open. They couldn't be trying to intubate her while she was seizing like this.

"Hen, get over here! Don't let that second ambulance go, get it here now!" Bobby waved Hen over and pointed over at a paramedic who was about to take the other empty ambulance away from the scene now that all the people were accounted for and safely being transported.

"Has she had an accident, hit her head? Had a reaction to something?" Hen kneeled down next to Buck and took Eddie's place keeping (Y/n)'s head tilted forward while she tried to clip a monitor onto (Y/n)'s finger and listen to her heartbeat.

"No, nothing. She, she doesn't have seizures, this isn't normal." Something violent flashed across Buck's pupils as his jaw locked shut.

This wasn't normal for her, (Y/n) didn't get seizures or get seriously ill other than the odd bout of flu or a cold. She had never collapsed before, never had a seizure and she hadn't hurt herself or had any reaction to anything that would bring this on. Nothing had happened to her today or even this week for this to happen, Buck had kept a close eye on her to make sure she was alright. Clearly she wasn't.

"Okay, okay I think it's starting to wear off. (Y/n), it's Hen can you hear me?"

(Y/n)'s arms stayed pinned against her chest like she was protecting herself from something and her body started to calm down with the shakes but her upper half was still tilting and pushing back and forth like she was being pushed and pulled.

Hen gently pulled up her eyelid to flash a light across her pupil but her eyes were only half visible, still looking up towards the top of her head. Now that she had stopped shaking, Hen tried to listen to her heartbeat and put a blood pressure cuff on her arm.

"Buck…"

"I'm here baby, it's me." Reaching forward, Buck carefully slipped his hand into (Y/n)'s half-curled fist that felt tense and stiff and unusual to him but he knew he could feel her fingers trying to press against the back of his hand. It was enough to make his erratic heartbeat calm down and he brought her hand close enough so he could kiss the back of her hand before he pressed it against his chest.

"Her pulse is steady and her blood pressure isn't too low, she's stable enough. Get her on the stretcher, she needs an MRI."

"On three, Buck. One, two, three." Eddie slipped his hands beneath (Y/n)'s shoulders and Buck lifted her lower half and legs and they carefully laid her down on her back on the stretcher the paramedics wheeled over. She felt so tense and stiff like she was in rigamortis, Buck had never felt her so taut like that before and he hated it.

"I'll ride along with you," Hen patted Buck's shoulder nd glanced over at Bobby for confirmation. One nod of his head was all it took for Buck to shed his jacket which he handed to Eddie before he and Hen climbed in the ambulance.

"We'll meet you at the hospital,"

He wouldn't be able to focus on shift without being by her side and making sure she was alright and everybody knew and understood that.

"Buck, it hurts," (Y/n)'s words were slurred and she could barely keep her eyes open for long but he managed to make out what she said and it broke his heart.

He shuffled closer to the stretcher and brought her hand to rest against his cheek to let her know he was still here with her. He leaned his head to the side a little so he could kiss her wrist and he rubbed his other hand up and down her arm and shoulder to try and stimulate her and keep her awake with him.

"What hurts, baby?"

"My head." (Y/n) tried to lift her free hand to rub her temple but her limbs were so stiff she could barely curl her fingers to her palm.

"It's okay, the doctors will make you better, don't you worry baby. Just keep talking to me, eh? The team will come up and meet us at the hospital, they're all worried 'bout you."

"Stay with me," (Y/n) tried to smile and managed a half smile in Buck's direction and she tried to keep her eyes on him and his baby blue orbs that were staring down at her intently. She could feel his fingertips grazing up and down her skin and his wet lips pressing on her wrist like he was kissing her pulse and helping her heartbeat calm down.

"I ain't going anywhere, baby." Buck smiled down at her and he could feel himself slowly starting to calm down. Maybe this was just a one time thing, maybe she would just need her head checking out and some tablets and be perfectly fine. That was what he was hoping for. But when he looked down at her again, his smile started to fade. "What's wrong with her eyes?"

He glanced between Hen and (Y/n) until she carefully leaned over and pulled (Y/n)'s eyelid higher to get a better look. Both her eyes were trembling from left to right so rapidly it was making Buck's head hurt just from looking at them.

"Baby, talk to me… what's wrong?"

"She's having another seizure." Hen held her wrist and checked her vitals before she sat back down but kept close watch.

"But she…" Buck didn't know what he wanted to say. He'd never seen someone have a seizure like this. Sure, (Y/n) was tense again like her muscles were about to snap, but she wasn't shaking or spasming and her head wasn't moving. Nothing was moving apart from her eyes, he'd never seen anything like it but then again, the fire department didn't deal with seizures all too often.

This wasn't right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buck's knee juttered up and down like he was a drummer hitting the bass beat over and over again and it caused his elbows to shake and his neck to strain. He had his shoulders hunched over, his elbows perched on his thighs and his entwined hands propping up his chin.

Something burned to life in his chest when the rest of the team came down to the waiting room to sit with him and wait for any news. He didn't have much of a family out here apart from Maddie who was currently still on shift, but the station had become his make shift family.

He almost clocked himself in the jaw when Eddie gently elbowed him and pointed over to the doctor who was fastly approaching them.

Panic was all Buck could feel and in a moment of desperation, he turned his head until his eyes locked on Bobby who got the silent plea. He advanced over to Buck, laid a hand on his shoulder and followed him to meet the doctor a few feet away from the rest of the team. If it was bad news Buck didn't want everyone else listening in, he wanted to hear it for himself first but he wanted Bobby there too. He was like his dad now and he needed that support.

"Is she okay?" Buck tucked his hands into his pockets to stop himself from scratching his arms to pieces out of nervous habit.

"The MRI showed she had a small bleed on the brain which we've managed to fix, the pressure caused the seizures."

Buck didn't know what to make of that, he wasn't one of the paramedics, sure he had the basic training. He could do CPR, he knew the basic recovery positions and he could help someone in respiratory distress, but this was beyond him.

"What caused the bleeding?" Bobby tightened his hand on Buck's shoulder, it mattered more to know why this happened than how they fixed it.

"We ran a few blood tests which showed her red blood cells were shredded, this is caused by a condition, TTP. It's brought on by pregnancy."

Buck's shoulders slumped and his mouth hung agape as he turned to look at Bobby as if for confirmation and reassurance that he was hearing this correctly. (Y/n) was pregnant. She never said anything to him or to anyone else, surely she couldn't have known about this either. He was going to be a dad. He was gonna have a baby.

"Is she- I- is she okay, though?"

"With medication and close monitoring she will be fine, you can go see her now. Congratulations."

In an instant, Buck had his arms around Bobby, reeling him in for a crushing hug and a breathless laugh before he reeled back and shot down the corridor. He had to go and see her right now, (Y/n) had to be the first person Buck talked to about this, she had to be the one to see his ecstatic face and feel how fast his heart was beating out of his chest at this news. He had to reassure himself (Y/n) was indeed alright after today, he couldn't get excited or relieved until he saw with his own eyes that she was alright.

"Baby," Buck could barely speak from how breathless he felt as he stumbled into (Y/n)'s room and his eyes set on her.

She was sat up in bed, her lips rolled together to supress a smile and tears drenching her exhausted features. He ignored the horrid look of the IV cannula in her hand and the white patch taped to the side of her head where he guessed they had managed to drain the bleed on her brain. All he could focus on was how she was trying to smile at him and just looking at her had his eyes watering.

(Y/n) couldn't help but giggle when Buck hazardly collapsed on the side of the bed and wound his arms tightly around her middle. She smiled when he nuzzled his face in the crook of her shoulder and kissed her neck while she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed the top of his head.

"I- I was so worried,"

"I know… are you happy?" Deep down, (Y/n) already knew the answer to her question but she had to ask anyway, just to be sure. She could feel him laugh into her neck, unable to believe she even had to ask him that and his arms tightened around her until he was pulling her up and crushing her into his chest trying to stuff her into his heart.

"Happy, are you kidding? I'm gonna be a dad!"

I'm screaming! This is so goood!!!!!

✯Kill Bill✯

Summary: Y/n can’t bare to see Matt with anyone else

Warning: VERY HEAVY SUBJECTS ARE TALKED ABOUT!!! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN ADVISORY!! talks about mental health, murder, guns, knives, trespassing, death, suicide. IF I FORGOT ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

The faint humming of the flickering fluorescent lights clouds Y/n's ears as she shuffles through the supermarket. Her feet drag across the dirty tiles, her body movements sluggish. The smell of vegetables and meat filling up her nose as she walks.

"flour, eggs, milk. flour eggs milk." She chants to herself, her lips barely moving. As she walks towards the baking aisle, basket in hand, she sees a bundle of pink in her peripheral. She turns and her breath hitches.

A boquet of pink roses.

She stares at them, her mind swarming with the endless memories she's had with them. Her body stands motionless, the tunnel vision taking over.

“I got you these!”

“I’ve never received flowers before!”

Crash

“Shit, I’m so so-Y/n?” She’s snapped out of her thoughts by a voice that has haunted her for the past year now. She turns and sees her ex in full glory.

Matt.

She says nothing to him, the words that want to fall from her mouth getting stuck in her throat, choking her. He looks her up and down, noticing how beat she looks. Her eye bags are prominent, a clear indication she hasn’t slept in who knows how long. Her skin is dull, a vast contrast to how radiant she used to be. Her clothes are different as well, a pair of sweats and some crewneck that has bleach stains on it.

She doesn’t look ok.

“Hey…” She manages to mumbles out. He does his best to give her a genuine smile, but it’s more awkward than anything. They haven’t spoken since a week after the breakup, the last text being Matt telling her to leave him alone and go do something with her life.

“How are you?” He questions, not really knowing how to carry on with the conversation. He didn't plan on seeing her ever again.

“Fine…”

That’s a lie. She’s not fine.

She hasn’t been fine since the day he broke up with her. She fell into a deep depression, shutting everyone including her own family out. Her mental state got so bad, she had to go to an inpatient facility as well as therapy. They put her on medication and she still does therapy to this day.

Matt nods and looks around awkwardly. He notices the bouquet of pink roses next to her and he smiles a bit. “Do you remember when I bought you those for the first time?”

His words trigger her, her knuckles turning white as she clenches the shopping cart. “Yeah…I-I do.” Her voice cracks. Matt notices and sighs to himself.

Maybe he shouldn’t have brought that up.

He walks past her towards the bouquet, and instantly she catches a whiff of him.

Versace Eros.

The cologne she bought for him.

She remembers how she had to pick up a few extra shifts just to afford the fragrance. She was so happy when she was able to buy it for him, even more excited to see his expression when the gift was given.

He picks up the bouquet and turns to her, “Let me buy you these…for old times sake?” He doesn't know why he offered, maybe it was because he knew he did her wrong.

Immediate joy spreads through the girl's body. The serotonin rushing to her brain. She nods, a wide smile on her face.

Her cart is long forgotten as she follows him to the checkout, a pep in her step as she eagerly skips to the self-checkout.

That interaction was a week ago, and that leads us to now.

She stares at her phone, waiting for Matt to respond. She decided to text him, a simple “thank you for the roses, it truly meant a lot💕”

It’s been about twenty minutes since she sent the text and she received nothing, until her phone rang. She quickly picks up the phone seeing that it’s Matt, her voice giddy.

“Hey Ma-who the hell are you and why is my fiance buying you roses?”

Her heart plummets. The good mood she was in wiped away in an instant.

Fiance?

He’s getting married?

Why would he buy her flowers if he’s getting married? He still loves her, right? He bought her flowers as an apology right?

“Y/n I think you are dwelling too much on the past. There’s other men out there for you.”

She snaps back into reality, looking around the therapist's office in confusion. She was just in her living room, getting cussed out by Matt’s fiance.

How did she get here?

Her therapist sees the confused look on her face and sighs knowing what’s going on. “You don’t remember how you got here do you?” The girl shakes her head. “You dissociated…Again. I thought we were getting better Y/n.”

“I-I am! I’m making progress! I just-he bought me flowers and then I find out he’s engaged! It’s perfectly normal to be upset!”

“It is, but not for two weeks.”

She’s been out of it for two weeks? She doesn’t even remember going to work, eating, or even sleeping. Her therapist sets their clipboard down, leaning forward slightly. “He’s a trigger for you. He makes your mental state and life worse-No! He helps! He doesn’t make anything worse he makes it better!” She’s quick to try and defend Matt, not liking the way her therapist degrades him.

“Does he? He broken up with you on your anniversary, claiming that he can’t handle a relationship with you anymore. He left you at the restaurant, leaving you to get an Uber home. He took all your friends away from you. When you tried to talk it out with him, he proceeded to degrade you and make you fall into a deep depression that had you in a mental hospital.”

“I’m sorry for being so harsh but it is the truth. I don't think you should dwell on Matt... There's other men out there for you."

"I don't want other men, I want him." she thinks to herself.

The therapist sighs and takes off their glasses in frustration seeing that she's not responding. "are you still taking your medicati-where are you going?” The therapist watches as Y/n grabs her things and stands up. "I need to go," She ushers out of the office, dashing to her car.

she climbs in and stares straight ahead, her breathing ragged as her therapist's words circulate in her mind.

She slams her hands on the steering wheel and begins screaming, kicking her feet and flailing her limbs in rage.

“He’s wrong! He’s wrong! He loves me! He loves me! He lo-“

She stands in front of the door, the bouquet of decaying roses in her hand. She doesn’t know how she got here. She looks around her, taking in the view of the gorgeous neighborhood. She could see herself living here with Matt. A ring on her finger as their kids play in the yard. She turns back towards the door but movement through a window catches her attention. The sight in front of her broke her heart, filling her body with immense anger

Matt and his fiance by the kitchen sink. She’s washing the dishes as Matt hugs her from behind, kissing along her shoulder.

Her hand clenches the stems harder, the thorns digging into her palm, drawing the smallest amount of blood. Her breathing becomes ragged, her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

She snaps.

She tears the roses apart, the petals and stems flying around, landing on the doorstep. She stares at the mess she made, one thought running through her head.

She looks through the window and sees that the lovely couple is gone. Not thinking clearly, she opens the door and creeps inside. She looks around the home, taking in the decor. knick-nacks lay on tables and bookshelves, a couple of blankets strewn over the couches. The TV was on in the living room, playing an episode of Friends.

"Matt hates friends." She thinks to herself. As she went to turn it off, she came across a picture sitting on a side table.

It was a picture of Matt down on one knee, proposing to his current fiance. She reads the bottom of the photo and her heart breaks.

They were going to get married on Y/n's birthday.

She feels stinging in her eyes as she stares at the picture. She blinked quickly and realized she was crying. Was it because of the heartbreaking news she found out, or was it because she forgot to blink? She doesn't know and she doesn't get to find out.

"What the fuck?"

She turns around and sees the fiance looking at her in fright. She begins screaming at her, yelling for her to get out. Y/n is freaking out, she doesn't want Matt to see her. "Calm your fucking tits!" She seethes trying to get her to be quiet.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" The fiance grabs a kitchen knife and begins wielding it. Matt rushes down the stairs hearing the commotion, eyes wide when he sees the scene in front of him. He dashes towards his fiance, trying to get her to put the knife down so no one gets hurt. Y/n stands there, not knowing what to do.

She was so entranced by Matt, she didn't see his fiance breaking out of his hold and charging at her.

It all happened so fast, two bodies colliding and a loud bang being heard.

a body drops to floor, blood seeping out of their chest.

"K-Kayla?" Matt croaks out, a lump in his throat as he sees his lover lying on the floor. He drops to his knees, pleading for her to get up.

Y/n stands there, her ears ringing as she watches the scene in front of her. She sees how distraught Matt is over his fiance being dead, his cries gut-wrenching. She comes to the conclusion that has her seeing red.

Matt was a lost cause, he truly loved Kayla.

"What did you do?" He turns to the emotionless girl, a look of pure hatred in his eyes. He stands staggered and gets in her face,

" WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!"

He's beyond angry, his chest rising and falling harshly, spit flying out of his mouth as he yells. Y/n looks away from the dead body and at Matt, the blood splatter on her face shining in the kitchen light.

"T-That shot wasn't for her." She mutters softly.

Matt's heart drops to his stomach as he takes a step back,

"W-What?"

He watches as Y/n's grip on the gun tightens, raising it so it's pointed right at him. “P-put it down,” He weakly demands.

“I tried…I really did Matt,” her voice cracks as she shakily holds the gun to his temple. “I tried so hard to get over you, move on, but I loved you, I still love you! You moved on so quick! Getting engaged and having the nerve to get married on my birthday! You bought me flowers!”

It’s clear as day that she’s losing it, not thinking straight at all. Matt doesn’t know what to do, he could try and take the gun away from her, but she could end up killing him in the process. He decides to play his cards right, hoping he could make it out of this alive.

"I-I do love you, I never stopped." He lies through his teeth. The words tasted like vomit, scorching his tongue as easily as they rolled off. The grip on the gun becomes loose, her eyes wide with admiration. Matt sees this and keeps going, apologizing to his late fiance in his head.

"I hated being with Kayla... She was so demanding and she forced me to move away from Nick and Chris. I only proposed because she demanded me to. Why do you think I don't wear my ring?" Y/n looked at his hands and sure enough, there was no ring.

"I chose your birthday to get married on because I wanted to run away from the altar and be with you."

"Y-You want to be with me again?" She allows her arms to drop to the side, the gun still in her hand. Matt gulps as he nods, slowly inching forward towards her. His shaking hands grasp at her waist, pulling her close. "I do, I want to be with you so but- but what?" her tone is anxious. What's holding him back from being with her? " We need to report the murder to the authorities." Y/n quickly shakes her head, tears forming in her eyes. "N-No! Matt I can't!" he grabs her face, attempting to calm her down.

"Hey hey! Calm down! It will be fine! I-If we call now and you confess, and say it was self-defense, you won't be in jail for that long! I'll visit you every day! We can get married and have our kids just like we always planned!" He's in distress, saying any and everything to get her to agree.

Her mind is reeling, nothing making sense to her. She wants to believe him so bad, but something is telling her not to.

Matt can tell she's torn, so he does the only thing he can think of.

He presses his lips against hers, holding her waist tightly. The kiss becomes intense, both of them holding each other tightly but for different reasons.

Y/n held him tightly as if he would disappear, not wanting him to leave her again. Matt holding her tightly hoping she wouldn't hurt him.

She tugs at his shirt, pulling it over his head when a glimmer of silver catches her attention.

A silver engagement ring on a chain, around his neck.

He's a liar. He never planned on visiting her, he doesn't love her anymore. There was no second chapter for Matt and Y/n, this was truly the end of their story.

"I love you," her words are whispered, her lips pressing one last kiss to his as she raised the gun.

"Y/n what are you doing?" She aims the gun at his chest, specifically where his heart sits.

"If I can't have you, no one can." She sniffles and cocks the gun.

"I'm doing this for us."

BAM

Matt stumbles back, his hand immediately flying to his chest. He looks down and sees his own blood staining his hand. he back at her, beginning to choke and sputter on the dark liquid, before dropping to the ground, landing right next to Kayla.

Y/n watches with sad eyes, her heart heavy as Matt goes limp, the light draining from his eyes.

She never thought it would come to this, this isn't how their chapter was supposed to end. Her body is on autopilot, grabbing the phone from her pocket and dialing a number.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I just killed my ex, it wasn't the best idea. I killed his girlfriend too....I don't know how I got here. I killed him..." She confesses, her eyes still on Matt's dead body.

"You killed your ex? Ma'am could you tell me your loc- I did it on no drugs, I did it all while being sober. I did it for us." her voice void of all emotion.

"Are you still armed?" The emergency call taker asks once hearing the cocking of a gun.

"I'd rather die and be in hell than be in jail without him."

Bam!

The gun falls to the floor as her body topples over.

"Hello?! Ma'am?!"

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

FIRST FIC FOR MUWAP WEEK! sorry to start it off with a dark fic but I really wanted to write something for this song and tbh, this wasn't even the original idea I had for it 😭 but yeah. like and comment plz! repost if you would like! the fic for tmrw will be,

✯ex for a reason ft chris sturniolo✯

TAGLIST🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @luv4kozume @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3 @mattslolita @j3tblackt3ars @ilovestarz @lustfulslxt @soimightlikeoldmen69 @tastesousweet @slut4sebastiansallow @whicked-hazlatwhore

Let's fucking gooooo!!!!! @banquetwriter @breeloveschris @misshugs @sturniolo-fall-enthusiast @samandcolbyownme @hearts4golbach @kikisturnioloo @vanteguccir @vrtualnoir @vampyshlut

Doing one of these but with my mutuals after seeing this image on my dash today!!

..Y'know he may be the god of war but.. I'm not mad. No, no not at all. :)

@xxgalacticambitionsxx @hatbox-apologist @ghostingyourass79 @kittieshauntedourfantasy @emerald194 @thatonerabbit @comical-icicle

I decided to do the pintrest trend. I'ma post this on YouTube, too.