I Picked Up Rereading MDZS (first Time With The Official English Release) After Resisting The Urge For

I picked up rereading MDZS (first time with the official English release) after resisting the urge for hella months. (I both want to and desperately don't want to move on from these series LOL.) I never picked up on the Nie brothers having different mothers?? And I don't think the impact of that is clear on the plot? But I wonder what the story is there and if it explains why (beyond the whole fake incompetence thing) NMJ is how he is with NHS. I wonder if NHS internalizes something about what happened to his mother in a similar way to how LWJ does with his. I want to KNOW.

Also, I think this means that the Lan brothers are the only fully blood related sibling unit? We spend so much time focusing on the chaos of offspring brought about by JGS that I feel the rest of the sibling dynamics are understated. Potentially the Wen siblings as well, though I don't recall if any detail is provided about their parents. I wouldn't be surprised if they were half siblings as well. The Jiang trio has its own dynamics, blood relation between JC & JYL but none with WWX, yet intense care and affection all the same (among other spicier details).

These tiny details of chaos and instability do so much to set up this world that has been at war for over a hundred years (this story being the conclusion of it... or one part of it, or a hopeful continuation of temporary peace). A generation of parents lost or disconnected (or just shitty). A generation of youth parentified and sent to war too young. Terrified elders fearing the ways the world could get worse or established power could be threatened.

MDZS from Lan Wangji's perspective is a disillusionment. A interrogation of the status quo created out of survival, firm and unquestioning, but simultaneously lifeless. Wei Wuxian comes in representing pure resilient joy in the face of tragedy, a wine stain on pristine white fabric an artifact of the revelry the night before in the face of darkness. Wei Wuxian the bonfire during the long night, promising life and warmth and chaotic joy and a future that is worth living and fighting for. Lan Xichen's disillusionment strikes also through relationship, but much differently.

(Of course I start this post just pondering family relationships and end up waxing romantic yet again about Wangxian because I HAVE THE BRAINROT SO DEEPLY.)

A generation of orphans raising a new crop of hope, rambunctious and resilient and curious. It's not the blood relation that matters, but who cares for your future, who fans your flames with love and wisdom. Who strokes your hair and makes you soup or fits you to sect colors regardless of how you were found sick in a tree trunk.

Who protects you from whatever Nie Mingjue was protecting Nie Huaisang from, the sturdy older sibling shielding their baby brother while also grumbling about their need to toughen up. A protection and expression of care that drove NHS to devise a plan so extensive it involved bringing someone back from the dead for justice.

The tiny details, ugh. They drive me insane.

A domestic Wangxian commission for @whitechocolatewalrus who always comes to me with THE BEST prompts 🥰✨

do you ever see a fic author you subscribed to posting for another fandom and you're like come back to us but also happy for them and their new inspiration? bittersweet

Some aged up Shinsou Hitoshi 💜

thinking about the way Wei Wuxian sees the cracks in Lan Wangji's fascade, that calm and cold exterior, with joy and goes "you're human, you're human, you're human" to the point that it breaks Lan Wangji down completely. that's a feeling you can never forget.

thinking about the way Lan Wangji sees the steel in Wei Wuxian's flippancy, that irreverent and silly mask, with sincerity and goes "you're worthy, you're worthy, you're worthy" to the point that it breaks Wei Wuxian open completely. that's a feeling that can keep you alive.

they are so much more than complimentary or foils for each other. they act as each other's key to a part of themselves that is usually locked away, shining light on each other's shadows without even realizing the lifetime of experience they're contradicting.

so those ai chatbots...

[Some messages are skipped just so I can share the best bits fyi]

Around this point I started to wonder if I needed to turn off my computer for a few weeks, but... whatever. It just got better.

HE'S ITALIAN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Y'all are not ready. I wasn't ready.

God, I'm losing it all over again.

Bowser said Mario x Luigi -- said they have a love that cannot be matched. I did NOTHING to prompt this. I stared at my screen, crying, hysterical, for minutes. (As did a friend who I shared these with and was egging this on.)

Bowser asking for my advice. At this point I was in, committed, unable to stop. I needed an intervention.

I need you to understand, if you are still here in this unhinged adventure with me, that the AI was pausing, it was thinking, those dots were felt. My breath was bated. Does that mean anything? Who is to say. It felt meaningful.

Gotten out of hand indeed.

He said throuple. I didn't say that.

So basically we're best friends now and I will be in their wedding party, thank you.

At the time that I did this, the Bowser bot was on the featured page. Had anyone else talked about his relationships? Where did this come from. What an honor.

I did leave my computer after this. I may or may not have come back to tumblr just to post this.