Warnings: This Is Going To Be A Multi Part Series And It's Going To Be Angsty Cause I Am In My Feels.

Warnings: this is going to be a multi part series and it's going to be angsty cause I am in my feels. Female reader, Padmé and Anakin were together but had a healthy break up, Jedi reader so forbidden love.

This story takes plays in Clone Wars yet many events have been changed (like the meeting of Ashoka and Anakin... don't worry the sibling energy is still there.)

series masterlist

The following days are being wasted on boring meetings and tedious training sessions. The only upside is that Ashoka is improving by the day soon she will make it to Commander. And even if we are not allowed to feel anything towards our Jedi companions, I can't help but feel immensely proud for her as she buskes under Anakin's care despite their constant never-ending bickering, as amusing as it is, it can get quite annoying.

I sit cross-legged on the ledge of my window as I nurse a cup of hot chocolate (the one with milk and not that water-based drink that people think is hot chocolate) and one of the remaining five tiny marshmallows floats at the surface. I close my eyes as my body relaxes and my mind floats in an avast nothingness. My energy and my power pours into the Force and I let my essence be tossed around for a while, enjoying the weight that lifted off my shoulders. Then I harness it and bend it to my will as I was taught to do the last few years. At first, it used to be so hard that I spent numerous nights crying myself to sleep because of my inability to control such a huge force of power. But it is as easy as breathing, sometimes if I let my mind slip I do it without my knowledge.

I don't know how long I sit there lost in my play with the Force as the sun's rays warm my body from the inside. I can feel my face heating up from its exposure to the sun and I welcome it with open arms. The hot chocolate that I carefully cradle in my arms has now turned cold as someone is hugging me from behind. His essence is so recognisable in Force to me as the sky is blue. He gently sets his chin at the top of my head and we sit quietly there.

Our peace though is short-lived as our beepers go off like crazy and with great reluctance, we part as Anakin answers his. As a message floats in the air. Help is needed in Tatooine. The Empire plans to strike the civilians. We change in our armours in silence as we walk towards Ani's space shuttle, one that he hasn't crashed yet, as fast as possible and we find Artoo already in his seat and Ashoka turning on the engines. In a few short minutes, we are good to go and enter at lightspeed hoping to get there before it's too late.

We sit quietly as we both stare at the blurry stars and I chuckle as I hear a soft snore coming from behind me. I slightly turn my head and I catch with the edge of my eye Ashoka as she is huddled in a corner covered with multiple blankets. I turn to look at Anakin, who sniggers under his breath as he stares at her with love and devotion as much as fierce protectiveness. I admire him, his unguarded expression and the clear enjoyment sparks in his eyes.

“How are you feeling?” I whisper, hating to break this light atmosphere.

“About what?” he asks slowly, playing to be dumb but unfortunately for him, two can play this game.

“About that racing match? I think I should bet on the Velvet Thunder.” I say to him deadpanned.

“Oh well, I was thinking that the Purple Stars have a better chance at winning this time.” He says playing along and I hum as I stare at him waiting for his resolve to break.

“I don't know what you want me to say.”

“Just your thoughts or your feelings it used to be your home, Ani -”

“It never was.”

“ - And there are innocent people -

“More like slave makers!”

“ - who are in danger. I know that it was hard Ani. I get it but think of those people who are enslaved and can't protect themselves -”

“That's a bit much because they always made my life a living hell.”

“ - or your family.”

At that, he finally falls silent and he says under his breath. “They never were my family. They always thought I was bad news and that I was the black sheep of the family. The only family I had, lays now cold in the ground. The Empire can extinct them all for all I care.”

“You don't mean that”

“What if I do? Would you be scared of me? Or draw away? Just like the others? Because they can't face the Chosen One?” He says bitterly.

“I would never leave you. You know that. And I also know that you might think that you want that but you don't actually want it to happen. Because if you did you wouldn't have made it this far.”

“Sometimes I think … I lose myself in bad thoughts, in my anger, my envy , in my …. in my pain. And then you come along and you pull my right back. How do you do that? How do you know?”

I am startled by his admission and it hits a bit to close at home as flushes of images from those wretched dreams fill my head. The ones were Anakins lovely blue eyes have turned to an angry yellow and are slit apart by a blank line. Or the ones where his robes, long and dark as the midnight sky are slightly burned and his hand holds a bright red lightsaber. All the visions have been dark and twisted in their own independent way, haunting me for weeks as they include post apocalyptic sceneries and a mass destruction of the world as we know it. And in the middle of it all stands none other but sweet Ani. I haven't told anyone about those disturbing dreams, thinking that it was a cruel move by the stars for defining the rules and the Jedi code for forbidden love. But the feel more profeting that anything else. A glimpse of the future or a possible, alternating future if I had my say in it. A chill slide down my spine at the idea of actually losing Ani. And I make a reckless decision. I could stop it, no matter what the price… couldn't I?

“She would have been proud of you, you know. Of the man you have become.” I say to him, my mind made up and so help me gods I will see it done. Anything to keep him safe. Somewhere above I can hear the stars, fate or whatever Force laugh at me but if I have to I will tire then from the sky for him.

“How do you know?” He asks suddenly shy as his insecurities take of his usually cool demeanour. And I smile softly at him cupping his jaw saying “Because I am.” And kissing him lightly on his lips, once again hopeful because there might be a chance to keep him safe.

A big jolt rattles the ship as we exit lightspeed and Anakin sucks a deep breath focusing on piloting once again. And a sleepy “What? I wasn't sleeping…” sounds from the back of my seat and a fond smile capture my face as I relax myself in my seat, preparing for the upcoming battle.

words:1.217

Nerves and Stolen Kisses

I have been toying with the idea of writing a fic about him for quite sometime and after last weekend I just had to. Estelle ( Ollie's rumoured gf is mentioned here but it is a fake relationship for PR reasons.) Also Paul Aron has a gf... friends to lovers trope.

Shoutout to @httpiastri for the inspiration

The Saudi Arabian Grand Prix was fast approaching. And Ollie was a jumble of nerves and excitement as usual. Since the early hour of the day, he opened the curtains letting the sun into the room and you groaned into the pillow.

“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead. Come on, we have a whole day ahead of us.”

“No, you do. I don't know why I came.”

“Because I am your bestest friend and I paid for your ticket and let you stay with me.”

“Both of which are for your benefit.”

“Come on….”

“Fine.” You say with a dejected sigh as you get up and you both get ready for the day. David, Ollie's dad was already waiting for you and you headed towards the paddock.

Everything was a frenzy and was passing by so quickly. As Ollie got into the garage and got ready for the quali you headed towards the stands trying to find Cassie, Paul's long-term girlfriend. Throughout the years you have formed a unique friendship. She was the only one who knew about your crush on Ollie and she teased you endlessly about it. Ollie and you had been best friends for the better part of your life, joint to the hip, having endless sleepovers, even if Dad didn't approve.

It was an endless nightmare being close enough to get a taste of all the what ifs, but never experiencing them.

“Do you and your lover boy share a room, huh?”

“It's not like that and you know it, Cassandra.”

“Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it?”

“So much. You have no idea. Yesterday I couldn't sleep and as the hours passed, he came closer and closer. He ended up holding me in his sleep. And I felt so bad because of Estelle. I know that they aren't really together and it's for PR, but still, I feel awful because technically I am the other woman… and she is just so nice and sweet. Never overstepping, I think she knows.”

We both stay quiet after that as the session continues.

“You know… whatever the case. You both love each other, platonically or not.”

“Yeah, I know.” I say as I watch the times set by all the drivers, Ollie having the fastest one yet.

“Looks like your man is on pole.”

We both make our way through the paddock, trying to pass the roaring sea of fans and we hand out already-signed autographs to anyone who asks for them. When we finally arrive, we part ways, before making promises about having dinner together at a restaurant Cassie wanted to try. And I head towards the Prema garage finding two beaming Bearmans, hugging.

“Hey Bear. Did you drive fast enough?” You call at him. And he grins like an idiot before swooping you into a tight hug spinning you. His laughter echoes in your ears as he sets you down.

“Yeah I drove fast enough, you minx.”

“Good. Now let's go. We are having dinner with Paul and Cassie in four hours and I want to see the city.”

“Give me five minutes to change and we are good to go.”

The afternoon is spent visiting local stores, trying to communicate in scrappy English and making terrible puns with products or street names. When they finally head to the restaurant their sides hurt from laughing. Dinner passed by as quickly as it came. As everyone says, time flies by when you are with the people you love.

Just as they open the door for their hotel room, Ollie flops in the bed as you head towards your computer and open it as hoards of emails and messages appear on the screen. Great more deadlines and essays to write until the end of the week.

“Leave it. We can pretend that we have nothing to do and watch a movie or local TV and try to understand what the hell is going on.”

“Thanks Bear. But I can't, as tempting as your offer is. Go to sleep, I will join you soon.”

And so you sit in front of your computer, ending essay after essay, sending them on time, until your eyes hurt from the pale blue light. The bed seems more welcoming than ever before as Ollie starfishes the entire length of it and his soft snores fill the empty space. Yeah, maybe it's time to call it a day.

An awful sound echoes in the room and eventually wakes you.

“I swear if it's one more ad I will jump from the window.” You grumble into your pillow as you steal the blankets and turn yourself into a burrito.

Ollie hisses as he opens his phone only to find a ton of messages and many missed calls from Ferrari. He dials Fred back as he moves towards the bathroom, trying to let you steal a few more minutes of much needed sleep.

When he emerges back in the room he sits down in front of you, his back supported on the bed.

“Ols, what's going on?”

“Carlos has an appendix”

“Oh no. Is he having surgery?”

“Yeah.” He says softly. “They want me to replace him.”

“What?” At that you are fully awake. Your hair is a netted nest and you look at him in shock. He looks at you, you his best friend who would look like a mess to anyone else but to him you look like the most beautiful and amazing creature in the world. Your mere presence has a more calming effect on him than anything else. If it weren't for you, he would have already lost his mind. “How? When? I…”

“We need to get to the paddock, if I don't want to miss FP3. I will wake up Dad and break the news to him.”

Soon after you enter the paddock and thousands of reporters try to get a better look at Ollie, flashing their cameras at you and bombarding you with questions as you make your way to the Ferrari garage and mechanics steal Ollie from you and David as they set to work quickly. David looks pale and sick as he paces into the garage trying to control his nerves through the FP3 and the Quali. When Ollie finally got off the car when he scored the 11th place, missing Q2 only by 3 hundreds of a second, you knew that this was it. He was finally shining like the bright star he was. He had done more than enough, his raw talent showing with barely one hour to get used to the car. And as mechanics and reporters closed around him. You couldn't help but feel like you didn't belong here. Where did you fit in? The reality hit you and it hit you hard. You hid in the back corners of the garage, eyes glued to the screen as everyone passed by without acknowledging you. You would happily hide in the shadows where he shined but this world wasn't meant for you. The anxiety was picking up at you, eating you alive from the inside.

And when Ollie got too close to the wall, your heart stopped beating. He was driving a car that was twice as fast and twice as dangerous than his normal F2 car. It was too much. The sound, the danger, everything really. Breathing suddenly seemed so hard and you needed a way out. As you hide behind the garage you call the one person who could understand. Terri picks up in the second ring her soft voice already calming you.

“Hey love. Is everything alright?”

“How do you do it? How can you stand back and do nothing?”

“You love him, don't you sweetheart?”

“I thought it was obvious.”

“Well … no I always hoped but… whatever the case, to answer your question you simply do it, you just have to. A driver needs his support system and you are it for him. You are his forever person, whether that is romantically or not. He needs to be near you and as much nervous as you are, so is he. Without you he would be lost, believe me I know my son. And I can bet you that as much as your heart breaks right now, you are also immensely proud.”

“Of course I am. But where do I fit in, in this world.”

“Right beside him, love.”

“Thanks Terri. Please call David. I think he is losing his mind and he is sick with worry.” You say chuckling before saying your goodbyes and head back towards the garage. The session is already over and Ollie is nowhere in sight.

Ollie plays with the power button of his phone trying to calm down but to no avail. The lock screen is a photo of the two of you. It was last summer both your skins flushed and hair slightly wet and tangled. You both smile at the camera and your eyes look bright with happiness. He feels slightly lighter but he knows that there is an impending panic attack and so he turns to the one person who could help him in this situation.

"I got your text," you say, tiptoeing inside and shutting the door behind you, careful to not make any loud sounds to scare him. "How are you doing?”

Ollie is sitting on a massaging table, elbows on top of his legs and head resting in his hands. His eyes are stuck on the floor, his silence is defeaning. When he still doesn't answer, your heart rate picks up. Is something really wrong?

You make your way over to him, hands finding his cheeks and softly tilting him up to look at you – and you swear you've never seen him look this wrecked before. Not after his worst crashes, not when he lost the rookie championship last year, not when he was cheated out from the Formula 3 championship. Once again, you've entered completely new territory, and your heart breaks at the sight.

"Ollie, talk to me," you plead, holding back the tears that starts to form on your eyes and threatento spill. It's so painful to look into his eyes, but you can't back down. Not now, not when he needs you this much.

"I'm-" his voice cracks but he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "I'm so nervous, I don't know what to do."

It's like he's oozing anxiety, and his heavy sigh is like a stab in your chest. Ollie, your usually so calm and collected best friend is probably going crazy over this – you know him well enough by now to understand that he's definitely freaking out even more on the inside than what he shows or tells. He is a messy jumble of nerves.

"I get that. One hundred per cent. But.." your thumbs begin to stroke over the skin of his cheeks, along his jaw, and then finally across his eyebrows, to which his eyes flutter closed. "This is your dream. It's been your dream since forever, and now you finally have the chance.”

"And it's not just any car, it's a Ferrari. Do you realize how cool that is? Do you realize how many people would kill for an opportunity like this?" You smile at the sight of him with his eyes still shut, eyelashes resting atop his cheeks, messy fringe covering his forehead. Even like this, at his most stressed state, he's completely gorgeous, not that you would ever tell him that. "You would've killed for an opportunity like this just 24 hours ago."

"But what if I ruin it?" His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks, shoulders slumping forward. "What if I go out there and I'm shit, and then they realize what a big mistake they've made by even putting me in the academy? What if-"

"It won't happen." His eyelids slowly open and he looks up at you, seemingly not even the slightest upset that you cut him off. "You're too good to do that. You'll get in that car and it will feel like your second home, just like it always does."

Finally, a small smile makes its way onto his lips. It's only been a few minutes since you came in, but he seems much more relaxed now, leaning into your touch completely. "I'll try my best to make you proud."

“I'm always proud of you, you mufflehead.”

A laugh bubbles from his chest and he stands up from the table, opening his arms wide and pulling you in for a tight hug. His heart is still beating louder than a drum in his chest when your ear is pressed up against it, and you're almost worried it will jump out any second now. But his breaths are much more controlled now, and his mind seems much lighter. And soon enough his heartbeat slows to normal.

“I bet that in twenty four hours not only will you finish the race, you will score points and beat Max Verstappen.”

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves” he says chuckling. “God, my neck is killing me.”

“Sit down. I've got you.” And so you start massaging his neck. It's stiff and hard under your hands and he lets a small groan as you untangle one of the knots that were quite painful. After a few minutes he is putty in your hands, his eyes closed, trusting you completely and feeling at ease for the first time in the past two days.

True to your world, Ollie crosses the finish line in seventh place, having gained points in his debut. But the one thing that kept him calm through the process was the thought that she was waiting for him in the cool down room. When the race finishes and drives the car back home he jumps from his seat and he can't get fast enough to her. People around him are praising him and congratulating him but they all fall to deaf eyes.

When he finally gets into the room to change into new fireproofs, she is patiently waiting for him. Her eyes are a little misty and her face flushed.

“I told you.”

“I didn't beat Max.”

“Still.”

She closes in on him and her hands are thrown around his neck, he reciprocates the hug immediately as his heart beat finally slows down. They doth draw away after a while only for him to dive back into her and kiss her firmly on the lips. Shock petrifies her and when he stops, he places his forehead on top of hers. He is a flustered mess and he is mumbling apologies, before she reconnects their lips.

For the following hours Ollie sports a shit-eating grin on his face. Everyone thinks that it is because of his amazing performance and not for kissing the girl that held his heart captive since they were five years old.

Masterlist No.2 (no.1 here)

Navigation

Edit: Updated version ✌️

¤ = smut

smau = social media au

Marauders Era:

James Potter:

Eating out, vol.2 ¤

Remus Lupin:

Touches ¤

And the were roomates ¤

Shy reader

Aftercare

Mean bf Remus ¤

Being mean to himself

Kinktober fav.1, fav.2 , fav.3 ¤

Animagus comfort

The One We Were Caught

Head Cannons

Star Wars:

Anakin Skyalker:

Headboard gripper ¤

Forbidden Love ¤

God I hate you ¤

He is that type of guy ¤

Pussy eater ¤

Baby fever , vol.2 ¤

Bloody Skywalker

Back to you

Feral

Formula 1+2:

Oscar Piastri:

Bubbles was...

Mich Shumacker:

Fake Dating (smau)

Charles Leclerc:

Meet cute

Max Verstappen:

Three Musketeers (smau series)

Ollie Bearman:

Dating Headcannons

Lando Norris:

Clingy

Warnings: um... smut, inexperienced yet experienced Ani

I slowly make my way into the restaurant where Anakin is waiting for me. The moment his eyes land on me a soft blush colors his cheeks and his eyes seem to sparkle as he drinks in the sight of me. We exchange timid smiles and nervous laughter throughout the whole course. Even though we have been together for almost a month, I guess both of us feel an electric current travel in our veins at the prospect of spending the night together. The date passes by so quickly that soon we find ourselves outside my apartment door.

“I guess this is it,” I say to him as I unlock the old mahogany door.

“I had fun tonight.” He tells me as he shuffles his feet, kicking the air lightly. His expression is hidden as he looks down on the tops of his shoes and he barely glances at me from underneath his glass lenses.

I leave the door open as I draw closer to him. Our faces are just a breath away as I look up to him and smile bashfully before smashing my lips to his. He immediately takes control, he buries one of his hands behind my head and the other latches to my waist for dear life. Our mouths clash together and move as one as our bodies move backwards until my back hits the wall.

The hand that was positioned in my back taps my butt before giving me a boost upwards to wrap my legs around his waist. He lightly presses against me, letting some of my weight rest on the wall as his mouth travels downwards my neck. He sucks at my sweet spot and asks “Is this okay?” before licking the new-forming hickey to take the sting away. My eyes roll backwards at his actions as my breathy answer leaves my lips “Please don't stop.”

He starts rutting his hips, letting his crotch grind on mine. And we both pant as our mouths hang open centimetres away from each other. My hands fiddle with his short soft curls as he starts undressing me by lifting my dress until it pulls around my waist letting my ass draw in the cold from the wall.

“Where is-”

“Second door to the right.”

He chuckles at my answer as he leads us towards my bedroom. Once we are past the threshold he pushes me off of him and my body bounces on the mattress. The freshly cleaned sheets wrinkle from my sudden drop and my mattress dips where Anakin kneels over me, slowly crawling towards my face. Just to kiss me once more before he starts devouring and grabbing greedily at any of my body parts.

He starts slowly by removing my dress and he marks a path with his nose until he reaches my breasts. And once he does, I am a goner. He mouths on the soft sensitive skin that is covered by a lacy bra, thank the Stars for being prepared, sucking harshly leaving deep purple marks in his wake, turning me into a withering moaning mess. My hair tangles as my head tosses and turns and he takes this as a sign of encouragement continuing his path towards my sensitive center. He rubs his finger up and down repeatedly over my panties watching as its color darkens from my arousal. He grabs the waistline and pushes it upwards while his other hands carry on with its movement. Making this delicious friction multiply by tons and making me see stars until I reach the first of the many edges to come.

He rips my panties with a flick of his wrist leaving me exposed to the elements. He trails with one of his fingers my slit, his touch featherless as a wanton moan leaves my lips and my hips lift, grinding on his hand trying to find solstice in his touch. He smirks at me as he lowers his face between my legs. He carefully kisses my thighs and nips at them, waiting to see my reaction, which is a long sigh and wayward hands finding comfort on the plush pillows. He dips down, pressing a kiss before leaving a long swipe with the flat of his tongue. A soft sigh escapes me which he likely deems as the perfect answer.

While wrapping his strong arms around my thighs and pressing his palms on the front of my hips, he drags me closer to his mouth, grinding him greater access to continue his assault.

At this point, he is devouring me like a starved man. His eyes glue to mine, behind the fogged-up glasses that adorn his face, for a second and he full-on smiles as he practically makes out with lower lips. My back arches and my eyes roll to the back of my head as he carries on.

Where did he learn to do that?

A blinding light flashes beneath my eyelids as my high quickly approaches and my legs lock up in place trying to close and capture him in their hold. Yet he doesn't draw away if anything he tries to get even closer as his glasses scratch against the soft flesh of my inner thighs until I come down from my high. I pant like a crazy person trying to catch my breath as if I were being choked.

“How did you…? Why didn't you stop? I could have killed you.” I say breathlessly and he simply smiles as he crawls closer to me. He kisses my neck, paying attention to the hickeys he left previously there as his hands roam my body. He squeezes my ass with one of his hands before it trails downwards to the back of my knee and he positions my leg over his waist pressing his hips in the place I need him the most.

His nose rubs mine as his mouth hovers over mine, which hangs open in a silent cry as he says. “Dying between your legs would be my heaven. This is my new favourite place even when you are choking the very essence of my being with those god damned legs.” Before thrusting into me in one fluid motion and I bit his lower lip in an attempt to silence myself. He stays still for a while letting me get used to his size, not moving an inch before I tell him so. Breathing laboriously he hangs his head as his muscles coil and tense in place trying to hold back.

My hands roam his back and my hooked leg stays in place as I try to lift my lower body using it as leverage to get closer to him and grind against him. That is when he loses any type of self-control. His thrusts are deep and rough, their intensity so big that my whole body moves and my headboard crashes against the wall repeatedly. Leaning backwards, and putting some space between us he is able to see all my reactions as he ruins me and any other type of man for me. Honestly, it feels like heaven and he must agree with the sentiment as well as his movements get more sloppy and his face is buried in my chest as he captures one of my nipples in his mouth. Soon enough an off-white puddle rests between my legs and he kisses me softly before flipping me around and positioning my ass in the air. The atmosphere in the room is filled with great anticipation as well as the distinguished smell of sex but it is broken by the sharp sound of his hand colliding with my ass.

I gasp at the pain but it is welcomed as he buries himself inside me again to the hilt. He flies in and out of me at an animalistic pace as his hand travels up down the arch of my back and rests on the back of my neck as he grasps my hair and buries my face in the pillow, where my noises are being muffled by it. Stars and black dots cloud my eyesight as I approach my peak and Anakin pulls me upright, making my back flush against his muscular front. My head lulls side to side as he holds my lovehandles in a tight grip forming bruises as he bounces me on his lap and he releases a string of curses mixed with my name as he finally comes.

Our spent and exhausted bodies collapse onto the bed and his weight falls comfortably on top of me. Our faces are impossibly close that I feel my eyes cross.

“Where did you learn to do this? I thought you said you were inexperienced.” I whisper to him.

“That doesn't mean that I don't know what my girl likes.”

“But still…”

“Promise you won't laugh.”

“I swear.”

“Well … I kind of watched some…. um … porn. To be prepared.” He says and turns scarlet red.

“Well I'll be damned. Maybe it has finally contributed to something.”

Shy modern!Anakin concept

18+ MDNI

OKAY imagine nerdy and lowkey shy Ani who looks like he's never touched a woman in his life. BUT when him and reader hook up for the first time after dating for a while, he's like a pro (like squirting kinda pro cuz he learned from 🌽). And every so often he'll be like "are you okay my love?" As if he didn't just make her see stars from his fingers and mouth and later his dick . His words are soft and caring, totally contrasting from his actions which are slightly rougher and dominant

Warnings: this is going to be a multi part series and it's going to be angsty cause I am in my feels. Female reader, Padmé and Anakin were together but had a healthy break up, Jedi reader so forbidden love

This story takes plays in Clone Wars yet many events have been changed (like the meeting of Ashoka and Anakin... don't worry the sibling energy is still there.)

series masterlist

The meeting ended way faster than it was planned due to… you guessed it, a surprise attack. Both me and Anakin fought with great intensity and when it was over, we had won every Senator over. Our job was done. And so after bidding goodbye, we headed towards our ship. Anakin sat in the driving compartment ready to pilot the ship back to the Temple and I joined him.

A comfortable silence enveloped us, safety and protection radiated from him and sooner than later I felt myself slip into a much-needed slumber.

A set of plain dark grey doors stood tall before me, and as I reached to open them my hand came short several centimetres under the handles. A tall black man called Windu stood beside me, silently assessing me. I stood on my tiptoes and opened the doors. Several pairs of eyes turned towards me and I felt myself shrink back. Master Windu placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a slight push while whispering "It will be alright".

My feet carried me to the buffet of the cafeteria and my mouth watered at the sight of the plethora of food. I wasn't used to it and my stomach growled as the minutes flew by. In the end, I chose rice with some chicken because I knew that even though I could eat anything on the table my stomach wouldn't be able to handle more than that. I headed towards the far side of the room, where next to no one was sitting.

A blond boy suddenly appears in front of me, startling me. He has a kind face, that is framed by shortcutted hair and a small braid, a padawan. He smiles at me as he examines me.

"Hi, I am Anakin. You can join me and the rest of the padawans if you want to."

"No thank you."

"Are you shy? Or just really stuck up? Because there is this girl Jade…" He says maliciously. "Well let's just say that no one likes Jade."

I snort a small chuckle and he laughs at me.

"Is it okay if I come and sit with you?"

"Sure," I said back to him.

He simply rushes back to his table and grabs his lunch before coming back to the table. He lets his tray down with a thud and he beams at me with a toothy smile, some of his teeth are missing, as he sits down. He must be older than me by a year or so or two.

"I see you chose the chicken. Good choice but it is a bit like a tyre you know, probably overcooked. You should try the roasted beef next time. It is simply great."

The ship rocks side to side being caught in a star storm, a hushed curse sounds as I shift my position trying to get comfortable.

My body is covered in sweat and I pant like crazy. My sides burn like there is no tomorrow.

"Again?" Anakin asks with a smirk.

"I hate you"

"Oh come on, trouble. I am sure you will beat me next time."

I roll my eyes at the nickname. You crash five fighter jets and set only two fires and suddenly you are a pariah. Anakin was the only one who defended me because somehow he had figured out that I wanted to go home or to what was left of it. He stopped me at the last minute and he crashed three out of the five jets.

Training with Anakin late at night when the whole Temple rested. When the nightmares started nothing could calm me down. The sleepless nights started to catch up with me, and the dark circles that adorned my eyes were prominent. After a while, he suggested joining me when trying to fall asleep like we used to do when we were little. And for a time it worked and then they got worse. He believed they were just nightmares but they were memories of the abuse and the destruction.

Then Master Obi-Wan said that we had both fallen back on our training and that we should be focused only on that. That was our priority. And so one late night in the training room turned to hundred and to thousand. We would fight to the brink of exhaustion and then we would turn off like lights.

In the meantime, we have both grown. My body started to turn more feminine, and curves showed up, attracting creepy stares from the boys and glares from the girls. Anakin on the other side gained a lot of height, surpassing me by a full head. His once lean body slowly became more muscular, and his shoulders were broadened.

I examined him as we both tried to gain our breath.

As he was still trying to calm down, I lunged at him. Raising my lightsabers, trying to disarm me. His quick reflexes were his saviour. Our sabers clashed as we attacked and defended ourselves. It was like a dance, a brutal one and we matched each other. No one could know for how long we stayed there until he missed a step and went down like a sack of potatoes.

"That … was not … fair. I was caught off guard." He says breathlessly.

"Say that… to your enemy… next time." I say to him smirking and I grab his outstretched arm, pulling him up.

"I miss the days when I did all the talking. You were less mean." He says with a pout and I laugh at him. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him for six months.

I feel someone move me from my sitting position and being laid down on the reclined chair. A light duvet covers my body. His familiar scent fills my nostrils and drifts me back to sleep.

Master Windu watches me from the top of the stadium and his encouragement comes to me in waves through the Force. Today I gained my knighthood. And after all of the struggles and challenges, this moment of that day is not my favourite.

I found myself unable to sleep so I took a walk through the Temple. I tried to meditate. Still, I feel on edge, some would say that it is because of my achievement of becoming a Jedi Knight. I wander in the aircraft zone, his favourite place. I need to feel close to him, now more than ever. A few months ago he left for the war front with some other padawans and Jedis, for some reason, I was not approved to follow. At least not yet.

I see a craft landing and I hide behind a pillar, holding tightly one of my lightsabers in my hand, ready to attack.

A deep voice sounds. "I already told you, Master. I didn't not hint that-"

"That is the problem with you you never think." A familiar voice said. Obi-Wan's voice sounds tired and full of panic. "You could have been killed."

"Don't say that Master. I didn't do anything wrong." The deep voice says mischievously, his voice laced with mirth.

"Oh really. Well, I guess there is nothing wrong with jumping off of jets, and completely trusting your life on a droid, no offence Artoo, or challenging your opponents. You are being reckless."

I slowly pull myself out from my hiding space trying to get a better look at the two approaching figures. Obi-Wan is the same, only his robes are more tattered and he looks bone tired as he moves at the pace of a sloth.

The figure next to him wears dark clothes blending in the dark night sky. Yet I am able to make him out. His blond hair has grown from his short spiky haircut. He seems even taller and his body more muscular than it was. It fits snuggly against his armour. Ani, he is here, he is back.

Without a second thought, I sprint towards him and jump on top of him. He staggers back by the force of the sudden impact. His arms shoot out to catch me as he gains his footing.

"Hey, trouble. I missed you." He whispers into the skin of my neck as he buries his head in the crook of my neck, breathing me in. His arms tighten around me and I wrap my legs around his waist. He is solid, covered in hard muscle and almost double in size. His voice is several octaves lower than it used to be. Everything about him makes my stomach roll and coil into a knot. That's when it all started. Since then I could not pull my eyes from him. Since then I could not stop thinking and fantasizing about him.

I am woken up by the rumble of the edges shutting down. I blink the sleepiness away and pull myself up ready to head towards my room. A hand grabs mine, stopping me on the spot.

"You look beautiful, you know. You should wear dresses more often." He says as he looks at me with a loving gaze. I blush harshly as he walks away, only turning his gaze back to me to say "Goodnight, trouble."

My eyesight finds the first reflective surface and I take a long look at my appearance. My hair had fallen from the messy curled bun Padmé had somehow made at the top of my head. The dress truly compliments my figure, making every curve stand out, daunting every man to take a look. Yet my strong arms stand out, in contrast to the soft aspects of my body making me look like a true fighter. Making me look like a Greek goddess.

words: 1.622

Warnings: this is going to be a multi part series and it's going to be angsty cause I am in my feels. Female reader, Padmé and Anakin were together but had a healthy break up, Jedi reader so forbidden love.

This story takes plays in Clone Wars yet many events have been changed (like the meeting of Ashoka and Anakin... don't worry the sibling energy is still there.)

series masterlist

Anakin and I don't talk about his confession and what happened on the ship. From the moment we landed we were swooped from meeting after meeting. Jedi councils and strategy meetings while reporting about our mission. And in the midst of it all, we haven't been able to spend time with each other or even see each other.

As I walk from one room to another, speed walking in the halls, I feel an arm grab me and direct me behind a huge pillar, letting my back hit the cold marble.

Anakin's body is flushed with mine as his head lowers, leaning in for a kiss. I draw my head back, resting my forehead against his. “Not here,” I whisper.

“Yes, here.” He whispers as his nose rubs mine as he leans down again for a kiss. Again I do not let him, because I know that one kiss will lead to another and eventually our cover will be blown. “I am sorry Ani, I have to go,” I tell him as I slightly push him off me. I regret the motion the moment I make it but I should head to what hopefully will be the last meeting of the day.

“I miss you,” he says as he tries to casually lean against the pillar he backed me up earlier, but misses as he should have been closer. He stumbles, as I chuckle at him and he simply fires me a cocky smile as he finally manages to complete his smooth pose. And says to me “I guess you could say that I fell for you” with a cheeky smile, as I walk off.

Truly the meeting was a boring mess and couldn't pass any faster. And when it finally did, I headed back to my quarters and promptly fell onto my bed as Artoo came closer.

“What shall I do, Artoo?”

A beeping sound came as the answer to the question.

“About Ani. Why does it have to be him?”

Beep beep bop

“Of course, I love him but …. Truth is I am scared of what will happen.” We both stay silent for a while. I break the comfortable silence first. “I keep seeing these…visions. Where Ani has turned to the dark side…”

Bop beep boop boop

“Yeah, you are right. Ani would never do that but it still worries me. Thank you, Artoo. You are a good listener. That's why you are my best friend.” I say to him as sleep finally takes over.

A few hours later I am woken up by strong arms wrapping around my midriff and a cold nose being buried at the crook of my neck. Still half asleep I turn around in his arms letting our limbs tangle.

“You shouldn't be here. Threepio is going to miss you.” I lightly whisper as my fingers tangle in his hair and I slightly graze his scalp with my nails. He lets out a breathy chuckle as he whispers in my skin. “I would rather be here. I think Threepio can manage.”

Sleep finally finds us in each other's embrace. And that is exactly how I wake up several hours later. The various rays of sunshine that enter the room make him look ethereal as the sun hits his face just right and the shade of his hair seems lighter.

“You are staring.” He says in a sleepy, heavy voice and he peeks through his left eye at me.

“Too bad. Because I am quite fond of it.”

“Oh really?” He whispers as he draws me closer. We bask in each other's comfort for a while until we have to get up and head for our posts but for now, we let ourselves live in the possibility of what every morning could be like.